Jungkook stared around in wonder of the fancy restaurant Jim had taken him to.

It was their six month anniversary and though it had been the student's idea to celebrate it, Jim had taken it upon himself to organise the evening.

Jungkook had never had dinner at such an expensive place, but Jim seemed completely confident and relaxed.

"This is way too much," Jungkook said as the men took their seats, smiling at the extravagant interior as his eyes glided along each object in the room.

Chandeliers with diamonds, candles on every table, golden details on all the furniture in the room. Jungkook felt as if he'd entered a palace.

"You think so?" Jim asked, perking up a brow as he smirked at Jungkook's dumbfoundedness.

Jungkook chuckled and shook his head, looking down at the shining cutlery with hands too afraid to touch it.

"I said... I said a nice small place... I feel like the president is about to walk in here..."

"Hm? Oh yeah there he is..." Jim said as he peeked over Jungkok's shoulder at the entrance of the restaurant.

"Jim?!" Jungkook whined, snapping his head back only to realise the filter was joking.

Jim chuckled in amusement and combed a hand through his grey locks.

"Just relax baby. You said this means a lot to you so it deserves to be celebrated in style."

Jungkook pulled up his nose but simply accepted his surroundings, trying to focus only on the wonderful man in front of him.

"I bet I'll get a heartattack if I look at the menu?"

Jim cleared his throat and looked up through his lashes before snatching the menu away from Jungkook's side of the table.

"Yes you might actually be right," he mumbled with a grin.

Jim ordered for both Jungkook and himself, and if Jungkook succeeded in ignoring how much each bite of the food cost, it actually tasted pretty good.

"Six months huh, how did you survive?" Jim chuckled bitterly, taking a sip of his red whine before staring at it as if he were simply transfixed by the substance.

"Don't treat our relationship as some kind of warfare," Jungkook said as his eyebrows twitched into a frown. "You'll make Jay angry."

Jim rolled his eyes. "God, what a fool I was for thinking things would be better if Lil J and Diminie intergrated. Sleep is something I have missed for way too long now..."

"Likewise," Jungkook said as he edged his lips up. "I do like the name he picked..."

Jim squinted at the student before him. "Jay is keeping us awake for nights on end and you're talking about how you like his name?"

Jungkook pursed his lips as he darted his eyes away from Jim's dissecting ones.

"Well I can't talk behind his back I'm dating him too you know."

Jim perked an eyebrow and sighed deeply as he gulped his whine away. "Yeah... I know."

Jungkook rested his chin on the palms of his hands as he stared at the filter with fondness. "Still batteling the jealously huh?"

Jim scrunched his nose. "Hmmm... it's really weird."

"I can imagine."

"You really can't."

"Yeah you're right."

Jim shot Jungkook a wink that made the student blush furiously.

God, he loved this man. Each day it became more and more intense. That feeling of never wanting to leave his side. Over the course the last few months Jungkook had felt like he was soaring through the sky with happines. It was as if his dreams had come true and he wasn't even sure if he deserved it all.

Part of him was afraid. Afraid of it all to end. Maybe destiny would grow jealous and this bubble of joy would pop, revealing that so much happiness couldn't possibily exist in this cold world.

"Speaking of integration..." Jungkook started. "As you know I've done more research on it even though there isn't that much to be found. But I feel like it would be a good idea to bring it up to the rest of the guys."

"Well-"

Jungkook shoved some vegetables into his mouth but continued talking nonetheless. "I mean, Jay is a brat but he'd be supportive I bet. I'm completely sure Min will be down. Jiminie probably wants the best for the system right? And Minnie... well I'm sure he'll see that he's no longer needed."

"Babe I think-"

Jungkook nodded as he sank further into his thoughts. "Maybe you guys will need to go to therapy, but I can go with you if you want so it won't be lame or scary."

"Jungkook-"

Jungkook's eyes landed back on Jim and he suddenly realised he'd been speaking for way too long.

Jim's lips stretched into a smile when Jungkook swallowed the next words he'd been meaning to say. "Babe, I am very grateful for your eagerness to help me- I mean Jimin integrate competely, but it's not-"

"Gonna be as easy as I think?" Jungkook filled in for the filter. "Hm, where have I heard that before? Oh right. From every single person in my life when I first started dating you."

Jim scratched the back of his head as he squeezed one of his eyes shut. "Well, yeah... but-"

"I don't need to hear it again," Jungkook said curtly, stabbing another vegetable with his fork as if he wanted to split the plate in half.

"Honey I'm just trying to warn you for disappointme-"

"Stop it Jim. I'm completely done with people underestimating me and this relationship. This is our six month anniversary and you're doubting us now? On this day exactly?"

Jungkook emptied his glass of water into his mouth and barely swallowed before shoving another bite of food into his mouth.

"Baby are you okay?" Jim asked with a concerned frown as he watched Jungkook's behaviour closely.

"Sorry," Jungkook said, laying down his cutlery to take a deep breath. "I guess I've gotten a little sensitive to people telling me something can't be done. I don't know my brain makes weird twists..."

Jim's lips curled up into a smile. "Babe. All I'm saying, is that there is a possibility that one of the filters won't be that open to intergration. And therapy might now work. We've tried it before. The others always fear the therapist is trying to kill them."

"Kill them?" Jungkook asked curiously.

"Get rid of them," Jim clarified. "Imagine hearing that your entire existence is no longer wanted baby. Imagine, hearing that whatever purpose you used to have is gone. You're no longer valued, no longer important."

Jungkook felt himself weigh heavier with each word Jim uttered.

"B-but that's not what I wa-"

"I know baby. But, it's the idea some of the filters might have. You have to carefully extract that idea from their minds and calm their fear of being seen as unnecesairy."

"I would never let them feel that way," Jungkook said as he shook his head, distancing himself from that thought immediatly.

Jim took Jungkook's hand into his own, flashing him a charming smile that eased the student's mind.

"I know that too. But everything isn't always in your control darling. Just... be careful."

Jungkook nodded as he stared at how Jim gently stroked his hand with thumb. "I'll be careful I promise..." he said as his mind already started forming ideas. "Don't worry."

~~~

Jungkook opened the door to his apartement with his eyes half-closed.

"I hope you didn't make Tae leave tonight, I'll probably fall asleep the moment I hit the bed," Jim said as he hung his coat up and dragged his feet across the floor towards Jungkook's room.

"I did but that's okay," Jungkook said with a yawn. "I'd rather you sleep. Should I get your pills ready?"

A low hum was all that answered Jungkook before Jim entered his room.

Jungkook smiled to himself as he opened the kitchencabinet to retrieve Jim's meds and filled a glass of water to wash them down with.

Jim always had trouble sleeping, but recently it had gotten a bit worse.

Intergration was new and everyone in the system has had to adapt.

Jungkook would be lying if he said he wasn't afraid the others would be too spooked to integrate now that they had seen it. But surely they wanted the best for Jimin right? Surely they'd understand.

"SHUT. THE FUCK. UP!"

Jungkook snapped out of his thoughts and hurried back to his room.

"Shit," he cursed under his breath as he accidentally spilled some water on the ground.

Jungkook entered his room and saw Jim holding his head as he lay on the bed, his eyes closed though it was clear he was struggeling.

"Babe?" Jungkook asked quietly, carefully shuffeling further into the room.

"They just won't fucking shut up," Jim groaned through clenched teeth, biting his lips hard enough for it to hurt.

Jungkook grimaced and set down the medication and water on his bedside table.

"Don't hurt yourself hm?" He whispered as he climbed onto the bed, wiping away some tears that had strolled down the filter's red face.

He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Jim's lips but the filter still looked dreadful after he pulled away.

"I can't... I can't do this anymore," he choked out as he rubbed his eyes, his voice sounding as if someone was squeezing this throat shut.

"Yes you can, just take a few breaths and take your sleeping pills-"

"I want to fucking die," Jim said quietly, before biting his lower lip so hard it started bleeding.

Jungkook swallowed thickly. The filter wasn't serious, he had to remind himself. He's just in pain. He just feels stuck. He'll apologize tomorrow.

The student grabbed the pills from his nightstand and wanted to hand them to Jim, but the filter was looking up at the ceiling as if in a daze, muttering to himself as more tears started buiding at the brim of his eyes.

"Piece of crap... you're not good for any of us... I hate you... fucking burn in hell..."

"Jim..."

Jungkook nudged Jim's shoulder and opened his hand to tuck the pills inside of it.

"Just take them okay?" He said at the kindest tone he could manage, brushing some hair from Jim's eyes as he made the man look at him.

"You're gonna take them and you're gonna sleep," he said curtly, pushing the glass of water into Jim's other hand.

Jungkook stared into the eyes of a broken man. So much pain could hide behind those warm eyes. How did he do it? How could he have crafted such a strong mask?

Jim took his pills and handed the water back to Jungkook after taking just one sip.

And then, out of  nowhere, he just started crying, crying as if someone was tearing his entire world apart.

"Hey, hey, hey," Jungkook shook his head as he pushed Jim against his chest, holding him tightly as the filter shook with each sob.

"I'm s-sorry-"

"Shush... it's okay, I love you, it's okay..."

Jungkook kept soothing Jim as if the man were a distressed toddler, rocking side to side as he kept pressing kisses on the side of his head.

"I d-don't deserve you, y-you shouldn't b-be with m-me," Jim sobbed against Jungkook's chest, allowing himself to be held by the student though he kept his own hands far away from the other man.

"Don't say that stuff babe," Jungkook whispered into Jim's ear. "Don't let any voices make you think weird things like that, just wait with me okay? Wait with me until the pills start to work."

Jim stayed quiet and closed his eyes, resting against Jungkook as the student whispered him comforting words.

"You make me the happiest Jimin," Jungkook said as softly as he could, before taking the shell of Jim's ear between his lips as he gently started nibbeling, feeling his heart swell when Jim released a content hum.

And so Jungkook waited until Jim had completely drifted into sleep, before even just allowing himself to close his eyes.

And no matter how many of these bad moments he'd have to go through, drying Jimin's tears until deep into the night when sleep was tugging at his mind. Those last words he spoke, Jungkook was sure, would always continue to be true.