Back to the stars

Perhaps

I will find you there

Taehyung POV:

I once read a quote that says, "The shattering of a heart when being broken is the loudest quiet ever." I felt that and it hurt to read that and keep that in my mind...till now.

If we were given the option to choose between letting our heartbreak or protecting it like all those recently reinforced glass hearts, what would we choose? People would most likely want to choose the second option. Who wants to break their hearts willingly, but suppose that the outcomes of giving their hearts to someone else were known beforehand? Then how would we decide? Since I'm a human and humans are ignorant, I believe I will still give my heart to be broken. I wonder what decision my former self would have made. I wonder what decision she would have made. Would she decide to hold onto a sound and clean heart? I questioned... I keep getting lost... I'll continue to wander until...

"I hope everything is well up there and that things are good with you."

I set down the brush I was using to clean the headstone. My clothes are already dirty enough, but I don't have time to think about it right now. I have to get the kids ready for school and go home in 20 minutes. They insisted on coming, but I simply cannot bring children to the cemetery because they don't yet understand the significance of the place. Instead, they would have to wait a little longer to pay their loved ones who are peacefully resting here a visit.

My skin is abruptly touched by a cold breeze, which makes me immediately shudder. I force myself to look up and discover that the clouds have begun to darken. "Oh no no, please don't do that right away. I just polished the headstone, and I still have a lot to tell he--"

The rain began to fall, but it was drizzling at the time. I breathe deeply and get to my feet as I begin to collect the items and place the flowers on top of the gravestone.

Incredible life! Even forgetting to bring an umbrella, I should always carry it with me, Sana suggested, just in case. What more can one do? I need to say greet while getting drenched in this rain.

"I should have known by now that whenever I come to see you, awful things always have to happen, and they always take place right after I finish washing the gravestones. I'm not whining, or mostly I am You obviously know, right? I'm not aware of the fact that if you are watching from up there."

I get on my legs in front of the headstone and stare intently at the lettering. What a beautiful name for a wonderful spirit. "Everything is going well, I know you have been waiting for me to say it right the moment I appeared and my apology I kept you waiting...babies are really doing fine but oh god!! Taehee hates veggies so much and both of them love to eat sweets way too much...don't worry all of us are trying to take care of them. I pause for a moment and take a breath of fresh air from the odd scent air before continuing. I rub my hands together as I wash my face with my chilly, damp hands.

"As for the rest...you might want to know but..."

Sana has been nagging on the phone about me being late again since I left the cemetery 15 minutes ago. She has already prepared the children and awakened them up; I just need to get home in five minutes or else they will miss the anthem, which is worth five points.

"Damn...!!"

I was almost in front of the main gate When I received another call. I accepted it as I took a turn. A soft yet demanding voice invaded my ears, asking, "Where are you?"

I swallowed my saliva and replied in a raspy voice, "Just leaving the car in a park in front of the house. The moment you-" From the opposite side, I could hear baby voices. I quickly exited the car after parking it and headed nearly immediately for the home. "...I realize you're wearing the black shirt I gave you last week..." she said. I grin and turn to face the mansion's front entrance, where the love of my life is waiting, looking stunning even in her nightgown.

She was waving at me as Taehee and Taesoo were holding her hand and giggling. Neither she nor I hung up the call. But then, "Sana!" I smile.

"Sir!!"

My secretary interrupted me as I was entering. I paused and gave him a quick look. "I'll accompany them to their school. I believe you ought to go inside and take a shower since you have a meeting in less than two hours." I turn to look at him after turning to look at the kids. "... Still, I assured them that I would—"

"Their father's health should come first, they said." A quiet, soothing voice interrupted me. I turn to face the speaker, and there she is—Sana. She was approaching me while holding the twin's hand. As I get down on one knee, I smile. My youngsters rushed into my open arms as I held them wide.

"DADDY".

Their voices carried eagerness, that I could sense. I give them a warm hug and give them head kisses. " You can see that Daddy got wet in the rain as a result of being late and careless therefo-" " We know that....and do not want to watch you sneeze." In her baby voice, Taesoo spoke while beaming broadly.

"Daddy sneezes way too louder, and because of your sneeze, daddy, the whole house shakes." As she wrinkles her nose, Taehee says. I laugh aloud. "How much time have you been spending with Suga Hyung, I wonder?" I say that while pinching her nose, and she laughs back. I adjust my shirt and proceed to stand on my feet.

"I apologize for handing you my job, but if you could just take care of them. Plus, You are not required to pick me up. I'll arrive at work ahead of schedule." He nodded and took the children with him after I spoke to my secretary.

"You really are such a--"

"Idiot?"

Sana nods. I scoffed. Sana follows me as I turn my heels to enter the mansion as soon as the kids have left for school. But before I went in, I grabbed the hands that were waiting for me to take them. She beams a smile, and her eyes are dazzling. I gently smile, but I cannot help feeling that she's melting me. I felt as though I could look into those eyes all of the time, or at that glowing face until I went blind.

She leans in close to peck my lips, then stops and remains still. I chuckle a little and move to approach her. "It is totally against the law for you to look this stunning and tempt me with just a peck of a kiss in this lovely weather. I do not support that, my darling." She chuckles aloud while shaking her head.

"What? Do you find this enjoyable? I get it!"

I bring her in for a good kiss, which I usually like, and cup her beautiful face with care and gentleness while oblivious to everything else going on around us. I dislike being kissed just once. I become antsy because of it. I extended my jaws and was just ready to enjoy myself when it was brought to a halt.

She nudged me gently and said, "Taehyung-ssi people are watching us." I observed Mrs. Ann gazing down at her feet while the others were gazing at us, so of course, who would it be...

"Mrs. Kim Y/N-ssi!!!!!"

I heard an annoying voice echo through my ears. I almost glared at her in fury as I roll my eyes in irritation. "Your loving hubby must control his hormones sometimes." Y/N warps her two arms around my arm as she chuckles softly and leans her head on my shoulder. I was going to smile and turn to face her again, but Sana has been such an unwanted onion in my life ever since the day she walked into my residence.

"Now please don't smile at that gesture." While pointing her index finger at me, she adds more, "Before you start getting passionate, I, Sana Sasaki, respectfully propose that you two get a room." I sarcastically chuckle as I point my finger back at her. "And why don't you stick your nose somewhere else in Japan."

She ridicules me in the same way that I ridiculed her, and she says, "Although I would really like to, I have a sister that I am responsible for watching over while also keeping an eye on a jerk. Otherwise, there's no need for me to be here." I was rendered speechless by her words. I was ready to speak when Y/n interrupted me and said, "Taehyung, my legs hurt. Can we go inside now?" She stated it in such a beautiful way that I failed to remember that I was currently engaged in a conflict. Sana has already begun to enter the home.

"It's time for your checkup as well, so let's go. That brat was probably being so irritating for you."

She was laughing and about to enter the house when I stopped her. She looked at me puzzled and smiled as I wrapped my arms around her waist and around her knees from behind her back. She gasps in alarm as I lift her into my arms. But she cracks up right away.

"I can't allow you to walk right now that I am here. Recently, you haven't been caring for yourself."

She gave me a curious look as she began to play with my bangs. "How was my family doing? You took so long to pay them a visit in the cemetery!"

We were already in the living room when I continued to our bedroom, which I had moved downstairs, instead of setting her down on one of the couches. " " Yeah, I discussed a wide range of topics with them because I hadn't been able to visit them in a while." She gives a light head nod.

I set her gently on the bed. I look into her eyes and give her a soft kiss on the forehead, cupping her face in my hands." Have you had breakfast yet?" She shakes her head as a no. I swear she's so adorable. How is she already a mother of two? Cute and too young to be a mommy right now.

"Mr. Kim?"

"Hmm!!"

I smile as I ease my lips apart and carefully reposition our lips on one another. I closed my eyes and began to move my lips as slowly and delicately as I could. Time had to halt right away for me, otherwise, it would have moved far more slowly than just this kiss. She pulled me into the kiss even more as she quickly put her arms around my neck. My heartbeat increased at this very moment. The only thing I could hear or think about was the fact that the love of my life was here, in my arms, and that I could hold her and kiss her.

As the kiss deepened and neither of us was willing to let go, I was unable to maintain the balance, so I let go of her face and carefully wrapped my fingers around her waist while placing my other hand on the bed. " You are being needy again, sweetheart!!!" I chuckled through the kiss and muttered. While we are kissing, I can feel her smiling, but she didn't bother to respond.

We were both out of breath, and although I really don't want to let go of her right now, I need to get some air in order to continue functioning, just so I may kiss her and hold her for as long as I can. We pull back and begin to exhale heavily. We exchange glances, but as soon as Y/n saw me looking up at her, she began to chuckle. I grimaced as my brows arched.

I was breathing heavily. I swear I don't think I need air since I have forgotten how humans breathe. She's laughing so hard that her face is starting to turn even redder. However, I want to hear her laughing as well as see her laughing.

How many times did she laugh like this before I couldn't take the idea that I had wasted seven years acting so foolishly. I wonder how many of her laughter I missed. How many kisses did I miss? Oh, my God! How many of her hugs and kisses did I miss? How long could I have kept my gaze fixed on this stunning face? I must finish the calculations right away.

"Can I be honored to know what makes my wife laugh so much?"

I finally ask her. She had already stopped laughing, trying to collect her breath. She attempts to chuckle, but her back and stomach begin to hurt as she puts one hand on her back. "You look like you just come out of a dump and worked so hard that your face has gone this red to the point you are sobbing," she says.

I giggle. Not because of what she said, but more because I am fortunate to see her happy and laughing in person and that she is here. She is standing right in front of me and she is not leaving.

I look at her as I extend my hands toward her pinkish cheek, resting my palm on the smooth skin of her face. She feels my hand while holding it and gently shuts her eyes. Suddenly, I started feeling sensitive. Tears began to form in my eyes, and I stumbled over my words. Y/n glances up at me before quickly reaching and cupping my cheeks.

"Taehyung!!"

"What would I have done if I had lost you six months earlier? What would have happened to the children if you hadn't actually survived? With-out y-ou, I could never imagine our lifestyle. Never could I..." My entire body began to tremble, and tears began to roll down my cheeks. Y/n twists her body into an embrace as she wraps her arms around me. I was speaking and stuttering, and I was just crying so hard while thinking back on everything that happened six months ago that I could hardly hear my own voice.

I don't want to think back on that night from six months ago. I don't want to think back on those 48 hours since they were so terrifying and made me want to scream. I'd rather vomit blood than think back on such stressful situations. I can't believe it's been six months already. I constantly worry that the next time I open my eyes, Y/n's bloody body will be in my arms since it feels like it just happened yesterday. Even if I blink, I feel like I will lose her. It will take me longer than six months to forget all those awful and unimaginable hours.

6 months ago I was almost about to lose her, forever.

***

6 Months ago~~~~~

I was jolted out of sleep and promptly sat up while gasping for air. My clothes were soaked in sweat from all the perspiration I was producing. I looked around only to realize that nobody was present when I was sent back to the same room. I blot the sweat from my forehead and make an effort to calm myself by taking long, deep breaths. I remembered the dream I was just having, but I quickly brushed the memory aside because I don't want to remember it and I won't let her leave me once more. The door to the room swung open as I was still reflecting on the dream, allowing a doctor and two nurses to enter.

The doctor began to examine me after taking a look at me. " Help him whip his sweat, please."  He gave one of the nurses' instructions. " Assess his blood pressure, then hand me his file". I kept silent while I was watching them. All I could think about was pushing them and leaving the room, but I knew that wouldn't end well, so I stayed put. The doctor didn't smile at me as other doctors did, although he appeared to be younger than me and had a stiffer personality. "So! After all the ruckus you caused, I'm sure you're exhausted already. How are you feeling right now?" He spoke while looking at my file, but his full attention was on me as he is waiting for my response.

I give him a hard stare and after what felt like five minutes, I said, "my wife, yes by all means. I will then be OK." With all of those deep breaths, my voice came out scratchy. The doctor closed the file after giving the nurse some instructions while nodding and writing something on it. He finally turned to face me with a serious gaze. He calls out my name in a quiet voice that anyone can barely hear, "Mr. Kim."

I waited for the wording of his gibberish. " I know I shouldn't say this to a patient, but it feels like the patient I'm in charge of won't listen if I don't"  As he spoke, his voice grew louder and more commanding. He went on, "Since you are already aware that your wife's health is not good, I will take you to meet her. Your wife best is yet to come to us, but your family depends on you just as much as you depend on them. However, I'd want to advise you to take some medication to feel better so you can look after your children and yourself."

He ended while waiting for my response and putting his hands in his coat pocket. After giving it some thought, I nodded as the doctor smiled and gave me some required medications. Girls would like to return with stupid excuses over and over again if this doctor smiled all day long because of how attractive his smile is. It makes sense why he rarely smiled.

The doctor eventually returned and instructed the two nurses to take me to the ICU. Thoughts of finally seeing her made me elated, but for some reason, I also experienced a persistent unease. I'm making an effort not to recall any of the nightmares I had about Y/n leaving me as I attempted to appear as composed as possible. The sounds from the ICU, however, became more audible as the nurses rolled the wheelchair closer to the unit, seeming as though people were shouting and weeping. As the unease increased and my rate quickened, I abruptly felt a pang in my chest.

When I finally got in front of the ICU, I was met with tears from everyone, including Jimin, who was tightly embracing my babies while Kento and Jungkook were conversing with the surgeon who had been standing with his feet facing down the entire time. Others were crying silently by themselves while standing or sitting. Without worrying about my frail body or the nurses, I stumbled to my feet and raced towards Kento and Jungkook, pushing them while growling "What happened to her? Why do you sound this way?" When they heard me, everyone gasped. Jungkook attempted to grip me and pull me back, but I refused to budge.

"Please calm down, sir. Please calm down; you're not doing well yourself." As I flew into a rage and seized his collar with one of my free and healthy hands, the doctor begged.  I said, "I asked you something fu*king answer my question," he grimaced as Kento yanked me away with all his might. "Stop Taehyung! What are you doing? I believe we are speaking to him." I didn't want to respond to Kento while I was glaring at the man. I clenched my teeth and asked, "What happened to her?"

The doctor replied with a sorrowful expression while exhaling and peering into my eyes. Although I am aware that your condition prevents you from hearing me, "You must nonetheless hear this." With all of his lengthy conversations, I was starting to get impatient. I commanded, "Get straight to the point."

"We made every effort to keep her, but she had lost a lot of blood, and despite the blood donations from your family, she remained unconscious. She has been breathing more slowly lately. Even so, we can yet hold out hope for magic to occur in the next 48 hours, and we apologize in advance if she does not really open her eyes."

I continued to listen to him until I became unsteady and then attempted to reflect on his words and my nasty dreams. As Kento, who was standing next to me, grabbed me by my arms to prevent me from falling on my butt, all of them became concerned and rushed to me. I tried to think of all I could say to convince them to save her, but I was at a loss for words. I felt like hitting the doctor when I looked at him. Is he not a doctor? Why is he speaking to me in such a manner? Why the hell did he spend all that money on those useless books and lectures if he can't even save one person? I shouted at him while moving quickly in his direction as fat tears began to form in my eyes.

"I WILL FUCKING BURN THIS HOSPITAL IF YOU COULDN'T SAVE HER."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 more chappies and the book is finally ending for REALLLLLL. Hope you all have enjoyed it so far. Thanks a lottie for being so patient with me and my slow updates. 

Make sure to give me a lot of VOTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE in all of my chapters. Do comment and share with other army friends. Let me know if my whole plot was worth your time. Thank you. 

To Be Continued