26. please let me go

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I sat behind Foggy and Karen as today is Frank's testifying day. Matt hadn't shown up and its been awkward since that night we fought. I knew I shouldn't have brought it up.

"Hey do you know where Matt is?" Foggy comes up to me.

"I dont Im sorry." I sat back down. As I turned, he showed up and started talking to Foggy. As they were done, Matt turns me.

"Devon, I need to talk to you."

"We can talk after this." He turns back and sits down.

"Uh your honor, the defense would like to call Frank Castle to the stand." Matt stands up again. She nods and tells the bailiff to bring him in. I watched as Frank was wearing a grey suit, still changed. The crowd boo'd and held signs, yelling murderer. They set Frank down and he looks at me, we didn't break eye contact. Matt walks up to Frank, starting his questions. "Mr. Castle, you've been charged with multiple capital crimes. Been called a killer incapable of empathy or remorse." Franks hums, nodding his head.

"Yeah. So I hear."

"Frank... may I call you Frank?" He looked at Matt for a moment. He had a look on his face, puzzled. Once he looks away and see me, he reply's with a 'yeah'. "Frank, we've heard a lot about neuro-chemistry... and psychology, and all things unfolding." Frank kept looking at me and Matt. Why? He was trying to put something together. I just frowned at him. "Scientifically and otherwise, inside your brain. But I just have one queen I want to ask. What happened that day? The day your family was so tragically killed." Frank looks down at his lap and he stares at the cop, who nodded his head slightly. What did he do? "Its okay Frank. I understand it's difficult."

"Do you? Do you understand? Cause I don't think you understand shit." Matt turns to the table, setting his stick down.

"I'd like permission to treat the witness as hostile, your honor?"

"Granted."

"Alright Frank." He unbuttoned his suit jacket. "You dont want to tell is? I'll tell you. Im gonna tell you exactly what kind of man you are. You're the kind of man this city needs.  Because, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we all know this city needs help. Needs it now. Not tomorrow, not next week, not when the day comes when the corruption that Wilson Fisk left in his wake is flushed out for good, and the police force is finally back on its feet. We need it now. Cause this city's been sick. And the cops, they cant fix it alone, they need... we all need men and women who are willing to take the fight themselves. The kind of people who risk their lives so we can walk safe at night in our own neighborhoods. The ones our esteemed district attorney here is trying so hard to destroy.  New York needs these people. We need... heroes." The crowd started to cheer after Matts speech. I played with my thumbs and looked down. "The help they offer... and the hope that they provide. Frank Castle wanted to help but he took it too far. He shot people, he killed people. It's against the law and he broke that law many, many times. Now, i dont like him any more than you do, but heres the thing, hes not a common criminal. Hes not malicious in intent. Frank Castle is actually a good man. Hes just... he doesn't know the difference between right and wrong anymore. And he doesn't need punishment for that. He needs help. Our help. Thats the kind of man Frank Castle is. And now you have to decide what kind of jury you want to be. No further questions your honor."

"Your honor? Can I say something?" Frank speaks up. She lets him go on. "You know those uh those people? The ones I put down, the people i killed? I want you to know that I'd do it all again." The crowd gasped and my eyes widen. "This is a circus, alright? Its a charade its an act. Its bullshit about how crazy I am."

"Language."

"I aint crazy! Im not crazy. Okay? I know what I did. I know who I am. And I do not need your help. Im smack dab in the middle of my right goddamn mind and any scumbag, any lowlife, any maggot piece of shit that I put down, i did it... because i liked it!" I held in my laugh as the crowd behind me went crazy. "Hell! I loved it! I'm sittin here im just itching, im itching to do it again. And you think what, you think you're gonna send me to a nuthouse? Some doctor, they're gonna get me to stop from doing what I want to do? Well that ain't happening! Not on my watch!" The cops came in to take Frank away, me hiding my smile so nobody would notice. Such a drama queen. "You people, you call me the punisher, aint that right? The big bad punisher. Well here I am!" They dragged him out of the room and I saw Matt sighing. He worked his ass off and for Frank pulling this shit.

The judge dismissed everyone and I wait outside for Matt who wanted to talk. I kicked the little rocks from the steps and i saw him.

"You did your part." I squinted my eyes as the sun hits me. "Frank is just crazy."

"I think someone got to him." Most likely yes. But who?

"And what was his part of the deal? A cozy blanket when he got his life sentence?" My alarm rang. Damn it, im going to be late. "I have to go."

"Devon." He grabs my hand, making me turn to him. "Im sorry about the other night."

"Just a stupid argument, it happens." I then hear his phone ring, the name Elektra. My blood boiled up. He quickly hangs up.

"Its not what it looks like."

"I have to go." I raced down the steps and got stopped by Foggy and Karen. "Guys, I really have to go."

"I just wanted to warn you." Foggy comes up to me, pulling me to the side. "Matts ex girlfriend is back, Elektra. Shes been doing stuff with him. He's been going to during the nights with her." I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"The other night." Karen plays with her hands as she talks to me. "I saw her in his bed." My stomach dropped. He said that shes gone, not to worry about her. I also warned her. "We just wanted to let you know."

"Matt hasn't been himself since she came back. Just be careful." I just nodded and sighed. They stepped aside as i made my way out and go on with my day.

I made my way to my mothers place as we promised to go to eat. I kept thinking about Elektra and Matt. Why would he lie to me?  I picked my head up and saw my mom talking to a man. When the man turns, my whole body was shaking, my phone drops. Dreykov was talking to her. My mom was smiling as he made small talk with her. Dreykov turns around and sees me, smiling and nodding his head as he gets in a car. I quickly ran to my mom, who was shocked to see me running full speed and nearly knocking her down with a hug.

"Whats wrong? Whats going on?" He's going to take everything I love. He knows everything. I cant do this anymore. Im done. My mom brushes her hands against my hair and tries to calm me down. I sobbed and looked at her. "Its okay baby, i got you."

"What did he say to you? The man!"

"We just talked about you, he said that he was your teacher." I pulled her back inside the place and checked if he bugged her. "He did say to give you this." She hands me a envelope. I quickly opened it and it was a card with a time and my place. "Devon?"

"You need to go, traffic is bad, you're going to miss your plane." I pushed her out and into her the car. "I love you mom." I talked over her and closed the door before she can stop me. I quickly ran to my place and pulled out my gun as I stepped into my place. There he was.

"You look happy here." He picks up my photo frames.

"Well, im not being beaten to death every other day if i cry or don't complete a mission." I moved when he did. Following his steps. I noticed that Taskmaster wasn't here. He was alone.

"Oh but you still did what you were told."

"You stay way from my family." I tried not to cry. "If you want to hurt me-"

"You know it would be too easy." He smiles at me. God i hated that smile. "Im no longer interested in your family. Matt Murdock is far more interesting." My heart sunk.

"No." I slipped out. He knows.

"Maybe ill have Yelena have a go." He walks up to me. My hands shaking with the gun. "You really thought that she was going to fine when you left? She has met your level of training. She's now the new you." No. Not Yelena. "Yelena will have Matt killed in front of you, he seems like a nice man." He tips the photo of us onto the ground, shattered as it hit the floor. "Hes no Eros." He puts my gun on his chest. "Go on, kill me. Kill me!" I closed my eyes and tried to pull the trigger, but nothing. I couldn't do it. He grabs my gun and pointed at my leg and shot me. I quickly fell to the ground. "Seems to work." He throws it across the room.

"You did this to me!" I yelled at him. "You had made me into a weapon."

"You did that to yourself." He kneels down, shoving a pen into my wound. "You really think that you can walk away that easy? After Natasha, I had eyes on you." He places his hand and tucks my hair back. "Remember what I would say? Youre mine." He kicks me and heads to the door. "Tell Matt Murdock that Ill be meeting him real soon." He slammed the door. I managed to get up. I cant do this anymore. He had me around his finger this whole time. I can't live two lives anymore. I have to let them go. All of them.

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I've made calls, Sasha, To start making me fake IDs and documents since im leaving, my mom, to apologize and to say I love her, River, to say im sorry and he wouldn't be hearing from me for a while. Then Matt. God it pained me even look at his caller ID. He didn't pick up so i left a message.

I stuffed some of my things in a bag and my door opens. I quickly acted and saw Matt running to my room. He was panting, he ran here.

"Your message. Whats that about?" I said, 'Matt, things havent been going well lately. I just wanted to let you know that I love you. You wont see me for a while, or even at all. Don't think this is your fault, its not. Ive not been at the best spot in my life and I have to let you go.' "Devon."

"The message was clear Matt." I walked passed him with some clothes.

"Are you packing?" He snatched the bag from my bed. I stood across from him, reaching out for it. "You're not leaving. Whats going on? What can i do to help?"

"I am Matt! There's nothing you can do!" I snatched the bag back.

"Was It Elektra?" I stood still for a second. The name angered me but shes not my problem anymore. "Devon, shes-"

"Im done Matt!" I yelled as I threw my last item in. "This." I pointed at us. "This isn't going to work anymore. I don't care about Elektra! This isn't about the robbers, or my time being away. Im sorry." I grabbed the ripped photo from my nightstand and headed out. Matt blocked me. "Matt get out of my way!"

"I love you, I promised myself that I will keep you safe. Thats my promise. Your problems are mine. I will not let you leave. Not like this. You deserve to stay. You have people that love you."

"You dont get it. Nobody can. What I need you to do is let me leave."

"Then why are you leaving!?"

"Because I don't want to be here anymore!" I dropped everything, snapping at him. I pushed him out of my way.

"Thats not good enough." He stops me again. "Whats going on? Are you in trouble? Let me help you!"

"I dont love you anymore." I looked at him with tears. It was so painful to say it.

"You're lying."

"Im not. I don't love you. I cant stand this. Im not who you think I am."

"Then show me." He stands there, waiting for me to go back to him. I was tempted. But I knew I couldn't.

"Don't do that." I pointed at him.

"Dont leave." He touched my hand, i held in my sobs.

"Have a nice life. Good bye Matt." He runs and slams the door, making me jump. He was going to pull me to him but I flinched as he raised his hand. He noticed it. He backs up.

"You thought I was going to hit you?"

"Please let me go." I just grabbed my keys and left him alone. I heard Matt kick my table and screamed. I got in my car and drove. Matt runs out and tries to stop me but it was too late. I was already gone. I got myself a motel out of the Hells Kitchen. My suits laid on the bed, the black, white and red one stared at me. I grabbed my red one and headed back into the city. I stood a few blocks away, not too far to see Matts place. I just wanted to check on him. Make sure hes okay and safe.