18. hello again

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Everything was flashing, me laughing with Alexi as we watched cartoons, Yelena screaming for help, our screams from that night, the training made toss and turn. My thoughts came crashing down, all the good and bad memories.

"You are mine." Dreykov said to me as I killed the other Widows in training, panting from the work, devasted on the inside but so emotionless when it came to killing them. "I knew you had it in you, all you needed was a push. My lovely Devon, are my greatest weapon." He grabs my cheeks and makes me look at him. "How did that make you feel?" My eyes went up, looking at him. We heard a Widow groan in pain, crawling her way out. "Finish it." I grabbed my knife, stomping my way to her. She begged for life, yelling to Dreykov to make me stop. I grabbed her hair in a bunch, yanking her head back and slicing her throat. Her body drops and I stood up, all bloody and he walks up behind me.

"It felt good."

I gasped and again, couldn't move. I cried to myself as Matt slept beside me. He shot up out of nowhere. He sat up and held my hand as I struggled to say a word.

"Devon, what's going on?" I couldn't say a thing. My finger twitched but that's all I could do. "Devon!" He sat up, thinking if he should hold me. He was still for a second, as if he was trying to listen. I mumbled words but it all didn't make sense. "Its okay, I got you." He picks me up, holding me back onto his chest. Matt calmly talks to me, whispering sweet things, kissing my cheek. "Just breathe in and out, can you do that for me?" My breathing was shaky but Matt calmed me down. He intertwined his fingers with mine, my fingers all out and not holding his hand back. "Squeeze my hand, okay?" A finger jerked, then a another. Finally, i held his hand. "Thats it." I tilted my head back and kissed him.

"Matt.." i just laid back on him, he got a cup of water from his side and handed it to me. "You shouldn't have seen that. Im sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? Dont be sorry. You're safe." He wraps his arms around me. "How long has this been going on for?"

"Since I came back. Usually ill lay for 20 minutes until I can lift a finger. It usually happens when I get nightmares about my past." I set the cup on my side and touched his arms. "My mom wants me to go see someone but i know that talking about wont help. Its too traumatizing to talk about it." Matt kisses my head. "I want to tell you all about it but i dont know if Im ready for you to know all of it."

"Ill be here, whenever you're ready. I wont judge you." We sat there for the rest of the early morning. I was too scared to go back to sleep but Matt stayed where he was and slept sitting up and with me in his arms.

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"Im here!" I hung up my bag and walked in the house. My mom called River and I to come over, she wanted to tell us something. River pops out of the kitchen with a slice of cheese and head over to me. "She home?"

"She should, she did say come over at 3." Speaking of my mom, she comes out and told us to come upstairs. We followed her to dads office, the one we were forbidden to go in. She had boxes in the room. "Mom? Whats this about?"

"I love your father, always will and always have. Every time I go in our room, all I can see is him." She rubs her neck, trying not to cry. "He would want us to move on, even though it pains me to do this, I collected all his things so you both can have." The two of us looked again around the room. There was his clothes, baseball things, books, his collection of toy cars. "I just want you guys to have something of him."

"You can call first dibs." River looks at me. We walked around and I went to his clothes. There were so many suits, all dark colors. But deep down in the box was a flannel. It was dark green with black plaid. I nearly cried when I held it. It was the same flannel that he wore when I left. I gripped the fabric tight to me, hugging it. It smelled like him.

I scanned to room for more things, I took a car, some more flannels and a shirt while River took some of the leftovers. River. my mom and I gathered around the table. We were silent. But it was a peaceful silent.

"I wish we had more time." I let slip out. My mom looks at me. "We only had so little time, it wasn't fair." She put her hand on my shoulder. "I just really miss him."

"I know baby, we all do."

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I ordered some pizza and turned on some music as I got home. Matt was coming over. It wasn't a date, we're now taking our relationship seriously, meaning going out, staying at his place or mine, dinners at home. We both like it small, just the two of us. To be honest, we never really had our first date and thats okay.

"Sorry im late, foot traffic." Matt comes in, tossing his jacket on my couch and loosening his tie. He kisses me. "Smells good."

"Pizza from that place we wanted to try." He hums in satisfaction. "With wine, beer, and maybe a movie."

"Sounds good to me. Only if I get to have you tonight, no interruptions."

"Im all yours." We ate on the couch, talking about our day , listening to Matts cases he got. Im proud of him, i really am. He deserves these wins. I turned on a random movie, we just sat there, my legs wrapped around his. The movie was just background noise as we kissed. Kissing him is, hate to say it, but magical. Everything bad is gone, as if it's just us. I hate being all mushy and all lovey dovey, but i do believe that he is the one. I don't think I cant live without him, hes a part of me. God i love him.

Matt's hand crawled up to my neck and gently squeezed. He does this and I melt. He knows that i like it. Its funny how he knows what I like, what makes me scared, without me saying anything at all. I know from Karen and Foggy, they say when you love someone, you are willing to love that person through thick and thin. And I do, and I will.

Music played in the back, Matt gets up and reaches out to Devon. She takes his hand and they gently swayed to the music. Devon wasn't every affectionate, Matt showed her that she was wrong. Thanks to him, she smiled for real with him, her first real hug was with him, her first real kiss. He broke down her walls and she let go. He wanted her safe, he also loves her, more than he has ever loved anyone. He knew that Devons dad was a hitman, he couldn't let Fisk's men go after her, he would do anything for her.

Their foreheads touched, hands together, bodies close, they just knew that they love each other. Words can't describe it. Foggy laughs as he says that its puppy love, its cute and adorable when they're together. Even though they both haven't talked about their future, they do know deep down that they deserve to be together. If something happens, may god help them.

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In the dark alley the daredevil beats up four men in suits as they were trying to do a stakeout, following someone that he tried to get a name from them and all he said one name, The Red Widow. He can sense someone else in shadows and throws his baton into the darkness. The Widow stands there, not even a flinch as the baton misses her. He comes up and starts to fight her. The woman wanted to give him some satisfaction and let him feel manly so she let him pin her against the cold brick wall.

"You look good, have you been working out? Love the suit, looks like we're matching." She smiles in her accent, whispering in his ear. "Well thank you for doing this." She pushes him off and picks up the baton and heads over to the devil. "They have been following me for a while."

"What do they want with you?" He takes the stick from her and she backs up, walking around him. He tried listening for a heartbeat but it was faint. It drove him insane because he doesn't know who she was. Not a smell, not a beat, nothing. He cant even tell if she was lying . The accent was tougher, he never met a Russian woman here in Hells Kitchen. It can literally be anyone.

"Maybe if you didn't knock out them all I would get my answers. But to be honest, I would've killed them." The daredevil grabs her hand and pulls her close.

"You shouldn't be playing around with this type of stuff. The Russians and now this new threat on the streets are no joke."

"But I like to play, makes the job exciting." The widow gets out of his grip and heads to one of the unconscious men, pulling out any information but had nothing but a gold ring on his pinky. It was familiar but nothing came to her head at the time. "These aren't from the Russian gang, thats all I know. When I worked with Fisk i knew everyone and these aren't it."

"Hooray for your memory. But where ever you came from, they followed. I dont need your problems becoming mine in my city."

"Your city, let me tell you something Daredevil." She puts her finger on his chest and pushes him again the wall. "I made many enemies, so i not too surprised. Let me handle my mess, yeah? I dont need the devil looking through my life."

"Glad to be on the same page." He takes her hand off and he walks away from her.

"Are you still mad about me beating you?" She laughs.

"Why would I? Real question is why didn't you follow Fisks order and kill me?"

"I guess I have a heart." He just scuffs. "You should be thanking me."

"I dont thank killers."

"To be fair, haven't killed anyone in a while, its a record." The female vigilante takes a picture of the ring and starts climbing up the fire escape. "See you around lover boy." She blows him a kiss and leaves. The male vigilante sighs and now has to deal with her. Or maybe, just maybe, team up with her one day.