An official entry for the Wattpad Anthologies' "Last Summer" contest under the LGBTAQIP+ category(lgbtq). This is entirely a work of fiction and none of the characters in this story were supposed to preach any violence in any way.

Summer had just arrived in the corners with the dusty attics filled with the powerful rays of the sun. Unlike all other summers, this one was different. The sun seemed dull, everything looked a little less cheerful and my soul had shrunk into, with deep regret.

To get rid of it, I'd make up my mind to go on an unplanned road trip.

But, with a twist. Before I say it out loud, I'll talk of myself first. I'm Ann Hudson, I'm a seventeen year old high schooler, who's still trying to cope with the huge problem of understanding their sexual orientation.

Packing my bags, I walked up to the car and found three others with me.
"AnnX" who was my past, "AnnY" who was my present and "AnnZ" who was future. I nodded to them and they gave me a thumbs up, to start driving the car. Starting the engine, I drove while carefully handling the steering wheel.

This car was my dad's favourite. He taught me how to drive it this spring and now I recollect that in fond memory.

"Hmm, somebody is smiling like a fool in their mind," AnnY told me.

"I'm thinking of how dad taught me to drive this car," I replied with a smile.

"Oh, that was adorable. Do you remember how amazing it was?" AnnX interrupted, while taking a bit of the Magnum in her hand.

"Why are we talking about memories?" AnnZ asked confusedly.

"Well, sometimes memories are a solace to the heart that's regretful of everything it has gone," I said, with a tear in my eye.

"Ann has become a bipolar now," AnnZ spoke out.

"Maybe, I am," I said.

"What's the buzz about?" AnnZ asked.

"Last summer..." AnnX was about to speak when I cut them off with a sharp look in my eyes.

"Tell us!" AnnY pleaded.

I looked in the front, the sun was dull for me but not for them. I peeked through the car glass and relaxed back on the seat.

"Last summer, something happened that changed me forever," I said.

"He? He left, didn't he? Or was it a she?" AnnX kept exaggerating on stuff.

"Shut up!" I screamed while hitting the steering wheel and AnnY tried to calm me down.

"Just fucking shut up, I don't wanna talk about anything now," I said.

"Control yourself, dude," AnnZ said, while biting the Magnum again.

"I'm trying to..." I said, with a hand on my forehead, which was now beading with perspiration. But I collected myself and said -
"Last summer, I lost someone. It was Daniella Howell. Someone I'd never want to leave him," I said.

"Daniella? He?" AnnY asked, confusedly. I nodded. "Now, listen to me," I said, as I narrated everything patiently.

"I was a sophomore then. The Winston Salem High School was blossoming with teenagers in the hallways. Life seemed pretty much boring for me. I wanted to escape reality. Nothing really worked out for me.

As I shut the locker, I heard someone say, "Ann, how are you fat bitch?" I turned around to see Lia Michigan, the daughter of the Principal giving me her daily dose of bulimia, perfectly well. "I'm fine, being fat," I said, as I pulled the strap of the bag a little over to my shoulder. "Fat people love taking pride in being fat, don't they, girls?" She bragged while asking for a forceful "yeah" from her girl squad. "At least, it's being dangling around like a skeleton like you!" I screamed at her. She made a peculiar face and walked off with the squad.

I made my way to the class. It was History period and our teacher, Mrs. Sally Huntwood walked in, followed by a stranger inside. She placed her books on the table and said, "Oh! Good morning class! Let us welcome our new class member, Ms. Daniella Howell! Say hi to her!"
Nobody bothered to do," I was about to continue when AnnZ said, "These kids are so obstinate, ugh!"

"You're are right, AnnZ. Coming back to the point, I saw Daniella. She was tall, some six feet, two inches just at sixteen. She wore a black beanie, black hair cut short and dangling on one side of the head, viridian eyes, smooth, red lips, a slim figure and a totally boyish attire. She had so much glitters that was "truly gold".

I stared at her in surprise, questioning myself again that if she was really a girl or my ears heard it wrong. I sat there with a hand on my cheek and kept gazing at her, as she smiled shyly and made her way to the desk right beside me. I couldn't stop blushing. What the fuck was wrong with me? Was I ill or feverish or something?

The classes went on and got over. As they did, I watched her pack her bag and leave slowly. "Daniella..." I said, almost in a whisper. She turned around and perhaps, her beanie fell off. Her hair was so smooth, could run my hands through them all my life.
I got up the chair and went to help her but I hit her and bumped into her. The air seemed so light then and I could feel so romantic, her hands so cold and mine were burning with feelings of admiration," I said.

"So romantic, oh my my!" AnnY said, while grabbing a box of popcorn. I stopped at the gas station nearby and siphoned some fuel into the car. Getting back to the journey, we put on some light music. AnnY, AnnZ and AnnX were all happy and making merry. But, I stared at the clouds. Maybe, Dan was waiting for me at the horizon, just like he said he would do?

"Tell more! What happened next? I wanna know!" AnnZ pleaded.
"Sure," I said as I continued.

"We left quietly. School seemed so boring but it was just special because of Daniella. I kept staring at her and sometimes when she'd stare back, I chuckled and looked around to not look cheesy. She did smile at times but it would all, in a flicker of seconds, vanish away.

It was only until Lia invited me to her grand birthday celebration where Daniella was present too. The party was pretty boring and I was wandering around in my baggy, oversized clothes. Suddenly, I heard someone say, "Hi!" and I turned around to see Daniella, in her casual attire and a cigarette in her hand.
"You seem so cool, wanna talk?" She said, as she took a puff from the cigarette. "Well, I'm not cool, just a little nerdy and a lot clumsy," I smiled.
"You don't seem so to me. Can we move somewhere else? This place is way too much noisy," she said. I just nodded.

We made our way to the terrace and Lia did push me away while I was walking up the stairs, because apparently, she was heavily drunk.
When we were on the terrace, Daniella helped me with a place to sit. The stars sparkled brightly. Hot summer night and I stared at the sky in awe.

"So, are you Ann? 'Cause Lia hates you, I guess?" She asked. "Everyone hates me," I said. "Well, I have never talked to you before but I can say that you kinda comfort me," she smiled. On hearing these words, I felt flattered. "Do I?" I asked, eagerly. "Yeah, hun!" She exclaimed. "Why did you call me hun?" I asked. "You are sweeter than honey, babe," she said. "How can you say that?" I asked. "Otherwise, you'd wouldn't follow me all around the school and stare at me in the hallway and in the class," she chuckled. I blushed. "Can we be buddies?" I asked, shyly. "Ah! Yeah! I don't have much pals here, we can hang out sometime?" she asked. "Sunday?" I asked excitedly.
"Hmm...yeahh!" she smiled and held me close to her.

I'd remember that night always. She smoked the cigarette and I just lay with my head on her shoulder, her perfume consuming me fully.

When I returned home, I was totally flushed red in blushy thoughts. She definitely was my favourite person now. But what about that guy named Finn I liked? Was it just a delusion or is Daniella my real love? I had too many questions in my mind. But, I let them all slip off my mind. I just slept off and waited for the weekends to arrive.

School was boring in it's own way but Daniella was the stellar masterpiece that I always needed in my life.

It was Sunday. I woke up early that day and finished off all the work. At afternoon, I got a text from Daniella where she said that she'd be waiting at the bridge over the lake towards the north of Marilyn Street. Being over excited, I got myself into a scarlet frock, shorts and a pair of Snickers, brushed my curls aside, wore a denim jacket and walked off to the spot. When I reached there, I saw Daniella at the bridge, throwing pebbles into the clear water.

"Dany!" I screamed. She looked at me and gave me a slight smile. "Thank God, you're on time!" She laughed. "Yeah, I had to," I smiled. "Wow, by the way, you look so gorgeous!" She exclaimed. "No, I don't!" I punched her on the arm. "Wanna walk down the bridge and get some coffee or something?" She asked, shyly. "Sure, I'm ready whenever you are!" I said, excitedly."

I brushed aside a tear that had made it's appearance in my eye. "You alright, bunny?" AnnY asked. "Yeah, I am. Just let me speak the shit out now," I said and moved on -

"We talked for long hours at the cafe and then, held hands as we walked through California, the streets lit up with lights from the lamp posts, they adorned her face. I could clearly feel I was in love now. Truly, madly and deeply in love with Daniella. Nothing less, nothing more could I say to explain that. "Wanna come over to my place someday?" She asked. "Can I go today? I'm a fool, I know but anyways, you're my best friend now!" I laughed. "Sure! Just tell my mom that you're my friend or else she's gonna..." She paused. "What?" I asked. "Nothing, leave it," She said and dragged me away to her place.

As we entered her place, her mom gave me a weird look and turned away. I stood in awe as to what could I be alleged of? Was I a bad friend to visit my friend's house or was the matter something else?

"Let's go upstairs," Daniella whispered to me. We went up to her room from another door on the backside of the house.

"Well, what's wrong?" I asked Daniella. "Nothing, just my mom is ridiculous," she said. "Well, I love your room," I exclaimed. "Come on, thank you so much!" She replied.
"Well, let's talk?" I asked. Daniella and I sat on the bed, talking for hours until we lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling and admiring teenage years. "Ann, here's something I'd like to tell you," Daniella said, fumbling. "What is it?" I asked.

"You would never want to see me again if I say this," Daniella said. "No, just tell me, tell me now!" I said. "Ann...I am...not as you see..." She muttered. "What is it? Tell me!" I pleaded. "I'm a trans male, Ann," Daniella spoke a little too softly. For a moment, I was quite stiff. Trans male? But, wait. Daniella is a girl's name. How could she be a male? Then, I remembered my dad talking about a friend of his, who told him about the transgender community that was rising in the US.

My dad told that to my mom, long time back and I was way too young to understand that. 6th grade was when I understood all that stuff. In fact, about the whole LGBTAQ+ community. I never knew I was a part of it but Daniella did give me such raging butterflies in my stomach which made me question myself all over again.

"Are you okay, Ann?" She asked. "So, what are your pronouns?" I smiled, as I turned towards her. She smiled and said, "He/Him". "Preferred names?" I asked. "Dan/Dani," He replied. Don't ask me why I'm calling them, "him" now. He definitely deserved my love.

For weeks after that, we'd hang out together, by the lakeside; the cafe, the backyard of school, the park areas. He'd been so important to me. Yeah, I fell in love with him. I loved Dan, but secretly.

But, only until one fine evening, a single text tore my whole life apart.
I was working on my boring Math homework when my phone beeped and Dan had sent me a text. "Ann, this is so good to tell you, that I'll be free from now. We'll surely meet by the horizon again. I'll miss you, honey. good bye."

My heart skipped a beat. What the hell did this mean? I rushed out of the house immediately after I got the text from Dan. I boarded a taxi and hurried to his place. His parents were out of town, they had gone to Mexico for a week, back then. I couldn't find the entrance open, so I remembered the backdoor and went up through the stairs as fast as I could. When I knocked on the door, I found it slightly ajar.

Opening it, I went inside, searching for Dan. "Daniella! Where are you? Where the hell..?" I stepped on something. I saw blood, then a razor, then Daniella's slit wrist, then Daniella's beautiful face, without any breath or diaphragm moving. "DAN!" I screamed. "What.. no? No, you cannot. You cannot do this to me. Dan, no, please, don't. You cannot do this to me," I sat there, crying, in despair. I lost. I lost my whole universe in a flick of seconds. "A..n..n." Dan spoke slowly. "Dan! Dan, please I called the ambulance! Please Dan bear with my poor soul, please!" I pleaded with my blood-soaked hands. "I...love..you," He murmured with a smile.

Yeah, "I love you" were his last words. The ambulance came right after that. After about 8pm, he was officially declared dead. I couldn't take it. I went psychotic, crying, screaming, breaking the hospital chairs, throwing the receipts at the reception. "GET MY HEART BACK TO ME, GET MY DAN BACK TO ME!" I sobbed and screamed. My heart ached in pain. His parents arrived the day after. But, what now? Everything's over.

The day right before his funeral, I was at his place, along with a few other classmates. I slide through his stuff to find a note with a "heart break sign" on it. It stated that Dan had maniac depression since he was fourteen, right after he figured about his orientation and was rejected by his cousins. He was physically harassed by his older cousin brother, in the hopes to treat him and make him "straight and cis". Dan wrote in it, how his parents rejected him always. Tears rolled down my eyes, as I slide through the paper, holding it close to my heart. I was in all pieces and pain.

At the day of funeral, he was buried and I stood there, with a blank expression, pale lips and no words but just sheer tears. My black dress blew a little bit with hot wind of the weather. During the peace ceremony, I was told to speak in respect of Dan. What words could I state? What else could I say?

"Daniella/Dan, as you call her/him," I said, with people staring at me in surprise, "What did you get from him? What the hell did you want from him? You cannot force someone to fight into a tunic when they are comfortable in a sweatshirt. Don't force the Gen Z to fight into your norms. You tear us apart. Today, it's Dan. Tomorrow, it could be me. Then, your son/daughter too. Stop fighting us into boxes that don't define us at all. These boxes are asphyxiating us. I loved Dan with all my heart. I lost him," I wiped a tear away. How could I say in words, how I felt. "We, the youth, we deserve better than we get. This was the worst summer ever," I stated, as I walked away from the ceremony.

For days after that, I couldn't sleep. All I did was keep staring at the text that Dan told. His last words, "I love you"; I can never get rid of them," I said, while my eyes were burning with tears. I spotted all the three others crying. AnnX was hurt the most.

I stopped the car near the lakeside. "There's the horizon," I pointed, towards the rainbow, that had appeared clearly above the waters.

"Do you think that Dan is waiting for you?" AnnZ asked me. "He is, as a prince, now a man, finally free from the body that caged him, finally my dear Dan is free from all the fears and obstacles of life," I smiled as I looked at the rainbow, that this year's monsoon had brought with it.

Finally, Daniella "Dan" Howell was free. Finally, he'd never have to wear a binder again and hide his chest again. Sometime really soon, I'm sure, I'll meet him at the horizon, where we'll finally reunite as hopeless romantics and lovers. Maybe, that's when I'll tell him that he made me realize that I was a proud Pansexual.

- Anurima Mukherjee