While the coffee was running through the coffee machine, Sage filled a bowl with cereal. After finding nothing but milk and beer in the fridge and cereal in one of the cupboards, she decided to just have cereal for breakfast.

Happy had told her to just help herself while he took a quick shower after she had already taken oneᅳ and she did. Of course she had made enough coffee for both of them, not just for her alone.

Balancing the bowl in one hand and the spoon in the other, she leaned against the kitchen counter and shoved a spoonful of cereal into her mouth, her eyes darting around.

The kitchen was small and definitely of the older variety, but still clean and well maintained. Sure, there was a lack of food and while she searched the cupboards for a bowl and coffee, she noticed that there was also a lack of kitchen utensils. But she wasn't surprised. Happy was a man who lived alone and probably spent most of his time at the clubhouse, no wonder he didn't have many things like that at home.

In general, his house was pretty simple and minimalistic. No decoration except a few pictures that definitely came from older times. The rest of the house consisted of just a bedroom, living room and bathroom. In Sage's eyes, that was enough. What more do you need than a roof over your head?

"You found something", Happy stated as he came into the kitchen, a wry grin on his lips. "If I had known I would have a guest, I would've bought some stuff."

"When?" Sage asked amused before putting another spoonful in her mouth. "You haven't had a chance to get anything since we arrived", she added after she had swallowed the rest in her mouth.

"That's right." When the coffee was done, Happy took two cups out of a cupboard and filled them with the hot liquid, looking at the redhead from the corner of his eye. "You look good."

"Thanks, you don't look bad either", Sage winked. Unlike Happy, who was only wearing jeans so far, she was already fully dressed in a simple olive green top and black skinny jeans. "I hope it's okay that my stuff is still in your room, I'll put it back in my car later."

"It's okay", he grunted, then pushed a cup towards Sage and leaned against the counter right next to her.

Silence fell over them while Sage finished her cereal and Happy enjoyed his coffee. He didn't need anything more for breakfast.

Suddenly he had an idea that would make things easier for everyone. "Why don't you stay with me until you leave for Seattle again? That way Tig can stay with Dawn until she's released and if you want to spend time with Ima, a member can always bring her over."

Sage put her empty bowl aside and turned to Happy, her arms crossed over her chest. "It's not a bad idea. And this way we can spend a little more time together."

"Right", he winked with a smirk before taking a sip of coffee, shrugging his shoulders. "And you would always be with a patched member and wouldn't have to stay in the clubhouse."

"Yeah, I like that", she hummed happily. "If it's okay with you, then I'll talk to dad later and tell him not to worry about where I'm staying."

A short, raspy laugh filled the small kitchen. "And this will fill his suspicions that something is going on between us."

"He already thinks so anyway", she chuckled. "And once dad is convinced of something, it's hard to convince him that it's different from what he believes."

"It's no different in this case, we just don't let him know." Amused, he set his cup aside and placed his hands on Sage's hips, pulling her against him. His tongue slid over his bottom lip as he studied her. "I'd love to do some other things with you right now", he croaked as he leaned forward and peppered open-mouthed kisses along her neck. "But I have to be at the clubhouse in a few."

The sigh that passed her slightly parted lips sounded completely satisfied. Her eyelids fluttered shut as his kisses left a wet trail on her neck and his hot breath gave her goosebumps.

She had to be careful, she knew that herself. If she didn't go back to Seattle soon and get even more used to having Happy's company, it could happen that she could fall for that manᅳ and she couldn't let that happen. For many reasons.

Sage never judged until she had seen for herself. Nevertheless, Happy was a biker, the rule that they could sleep with other women when they were on a run still existed. That was a rule that she could never accept as she had been Jax' Old Lady and yet it happened. Except Jax didn't even wait until he was on a run. Of course that didn't mean Happy had to be like Jax. Sage was sure that the man who knew exactly how to make her feel good was different. But she just couldn't know.

Was good sex worth risking a broken heart again? Probably not. Also, Happy lived in Charming and she lived in Seattle. She wouldn't move here and he was tied to the club and couldn't just move either. Shit would just be complicated and would ultimately end in chaos anyway. Other than that, she knew Happy wasn't looking for anything serious.

She gently pushed herself away from him and stole another kiss from his lips. "Then you should leave before we end up back in your bedroom."

"Could happen." Smirking, he shook his head and gave her ass a smack before he grabbed a shirt that was hanging over the chair, pulling it over his head. Then he slipped on his robe, which had also been placed carefully on the chair.

"You have to come with me, I can't leave you alone", he finally said, tilting his head slightly. "You can wait outside, I won't force you to come inside with me. But you have to at least be near me."

And since the gates were always closed during a lockdown anyway, he had no concerns. She could also wait in the office with Gemma.

"No, it's okay." Not wanting to be a burden, Sage just waved him off with a smile. "I'll survive spending a few minutes in a room with Fawn. Besides, Ima is there too, I'll just talk to her. Is there a chance we need to stay there longer?"

"Can’t tell you yet", he replied. Happy appreciated that she came along without giving him a hard time. That just showed again how uncomplicated Sage was. "But if I have to stay or even leave with the guys, you can stay in my room in the meantime if you don't want to be around Fawn for that long."

"That would be great if you'd let me do that", she said, sincerity in her tone. Sage quickly took a few more sips of her coffee. "Okay, I'm ready. We can go."

As she walked past him to leave the kitchen, he grabbed her wrist again, pulled her closer and kissed her. It was a quick yet demanding kiss that once again turned her legs into jelly.

"Now we can go", he rasped with the slightest grin.

ᚔ

She hated it. She fucking hated it. The clubhouse wasn't the problem; it was where she had spent half of her childhood and teenage years. Every single member was like family to her. Like she has a bunch of uncles. The environment wasn't the problem either.

What was the problem was Fawn. And their daughter.

Ima noticed how quiet her Old Man's daughter had become. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Just the sight." Sage let out a sigh, her index finger and thumb spread across her forehead to massage it. "I probably sound like the most horrible person in the world but I wish Fawn wouldn't sit here with Hayley all the time."

Sage would never speak badly of a childᅳ she loved kids. But Hayley was a thorn in her side. Not because she didn't like the little girl. But because Fawn was lucky enough to have a child. Maybe it was envy, jealousyᅳ Sage didn't know.

But while she was still grieving for her child, Fawn, who never really wanted kids in the first place, was blessed with a child. From the man she stole from her sister. What a shit show. If it weren't for the real, Sage would probably laugh about it.

"It doesn't make you a bad person", Ima stated with a shrug of her shoulders, her gaze wandering off to where Fawn sat, making Hayley laugh by tickling her belly. "What she did is unforgivable. I haven't always been the way I am since I started dating your dad, but even I found it shocking when Tig told me about it."

"Well, it happened. And I can't change it", the redhead said dryly. "And I don't want to change it. She can keep Jax, thanks to her I know I'm better off without him. But look at her...look at how lucky she is."

Ima's blue eyes rested on Sage again. She silently observed how the redhead's facial features constantly changed. Pain, anger, even envy were reflected in her green eyes and Ima could understand why.

She placed a comforting hand on Sage's leg, really trying to put herself in Sage's shoes. "That may sound harsh nowᅳ but maybe it wasn't meant to be for you. I'm sure that the right person will come along for you who will appreciate you and with whom you can really start a family."

"I don't know", Sage just shook her head. "Maybe I should just stay alone."

"Bullshit." Ima patted Sage's leg. "If I found the love of my life, then you will too."

A hint of a smile now graced Sage's face. "Yeah, maybe. I guess I'll just have to wait and see."

She saw that Ima wanted to answer something, but the two were interrupted by Fawn, who came over to the bar, balancing Hayley on her hip.

"Look, I don't really want to ask this, but can you look after Hayley for a moment? Gemma is still in the office and I have to change", Fawn pointed at the dark stain on her shirt. "Hayley poured her juice all over me."

"No." Sage's answer was curt and cold, but honest. "Ask Ima or just take Hayley with you. It's not like you need a shower right now."

"I don't trust Ima with my child." The youngest Trager sister snorted disparagingly, ignoring Ima's snort. "You've never held your niece or spent time with her. Would it kill you to act like an aunt for once?"

"I think you can trust Ima with your kid for five minutes", Sage countered. The redhead would never understand the hatred Fawn had for Ima. The blonde really tried to be part of the family. "And no, it wouldn't kill me. But I just don't want to."

Just as Fawn was about to leave with a huff, Hayley's small hand grabbed Sage's hair, who then grimaced slightly. Since she had no other option, Sage tried to open Hayley's tiny hand as carefully as possible to free her hair.

"Hayley, let go", Fawn scolded, but Hayley seemed to like the bright copper hair. "Listen, please just take her. I'll be back in two minutes."

And before Sage could protest again, Hayley, who had celebrated her second birthday a few days ago, was pushed into her arms. Completely overwhelmed, Sage looked at Ima, who didn't know what to do now. If she took the little girl from Sage, Fawn would give her shit about it afterwardsᅳ that's what the youngest Trager was best at.

"I'm going to kill Fawn." Sage gritted her teeth as she now had her niece on her lap, the girl jumping up and down happily while giving the redhead a big smile.

"She could've just taken her with her", Ima said angrily. It was clear how much it pained Sage to have to look after her nieceᅳ even if it was only for a few minutes.

"She's cute though", Sage murmured, her features softening as she looked into the little one's bright blue eyes. And yet it brought all the pain inside her back to the surface. "She looks so much like Jax. She's definitely his daughter."

With Fawn you could never be sure. But it was impossible to deny. Hayley was the spitting image of her father. Light, blonde hair tied in a small ponytail on top of her head. The piercing blue eyes and the shape of the face were also the same.

"She really does", Ima had to admit with a sigh. "You wanna form a bond with Hayley one day?", the blonde asked carefully while playing with Hayley's tiny hand, which wasn't in Sage's hair anymore.

"She's my niece. No matter what happened, it isn't her fault." Sage's lips curled into a thin line as she ran the back of her index finger over Hayley's cheek. "The only problem is that if I wanted to get to know Hayley better, I would have to spend time with Fawn and Jax. And I can't do that."

"Understandably", Ima confirmed with a quick nod. "It's a shame. This little  sweetheart isn't even shy, like she's known you all her life."

"She seems like a real ray of sunshine", Sage guessed with a sad smile. "I hope that at some point she will still find out that I had my reasons for not wanting to have contact with her."

"As long as Fawn allows Tig to be a part of her life, he will make sure Hayley doesn't think anything bad of you", Ima said eagerly, again patting Sage's leg.

Finally the two huge doors opened after church was over. One by one came out and took a seat at the bar or made their way outside, all of them winking or smiling at Sage. She was warmly welcomed when she arrived and it had felt good to get a bone crushing hug from all of them after such a long time.

Happy approached the two women along with Jax, a somewhat surprised look on the latter's face. "Where's Fawn?"

"Getting changed", Sage replied curtly before handing him Hayley over. "Take her, please."

"I can't, we have to leave", he let her know, his gaze lingering on her a little longer than it should. "It won't hurt if you spend some time with her. She's your niece."

"Yes.." Sage laughed bitterly before simply pushing Hayley into his arms, although more carefully than Fawn had done earlier. "I don't give a shit if you have time or not. I'm not your babysitter."

Sage tried to hide her sadness by showing other emotions. Anger, rage, disappointment.

"What the hell, Sage?" Jax rocked Hayley in his arms as she started fussing. He lovingly pressed his lips against his daughter's forehead to calm her down, while also looking at Sage. "Why do you have to be like that? Why can't you put the past behind you? Shit happened, but Hayley doesn't have to be punished for that."

"Jax", Happy warned with a low growl. The blonde had no reason to act all offended.

"Don't get between this", Jax said to Happy before turning his attention back to Sage, whose face was red with anger.

She took a few steps until she stood right in front of him and lifted her chin to look him in the eyes. Hers reflected nothing but disgust and hatred towards the man she once loved.

"You're right, Hayley shouldn't get punished for this", she said, her tone dangerously calm. "It's not her fault that she has parents who have no conscience. Youᅳ"

"Be careful what you say, Sage", she was interrupted by Jax, a threatening look in his blue eyes but the redhead only let out a dry laugh.

"You think I'm afraid of you?" Snorting, she shook her head and rubbed the tip of her nose. "Have you ever seriously asked yourself how I felt?"

"That's in the past, you have to put an end to it and get over this shit", Jax snarled at her, startling Hayley with his harsh tone.

"Just give me an answer," Sage demanded, watching as Jax's jaw tensed and his features only hardened. There was nothing left of the boyish face from back then with the infamous panty dropping grin.

Jax just seemed cold and arrogant, which was probably what happens when you have power over the gavel.

But suddenly his face relaxed, the corners of his mouth moved downwards and for a moment he even seemed affected.

"I often wondered how you were doing, but only when it was too late. I was happy with Fawn and wanted to move forward. Then Hayley was born and my family was complete. Still, I should've apologized properly, and I should've checked on you. I think my ego got in the way." While he spoke he avoided direct eye contact, apparently his conscience was bothering him.

"And you completely forgot about him, our son. Have you everᅳ" Sage's voice trembled, the big lump in her throat causing her voice to finally fail completely.

She looked gratefully at Ima, who had slipped her hand into Sage's hand to give her some strength. Happy didn't even take his eyes off the redhead as she struggled to control her emotions. But her glassy eyes showed that she was hardly capable of doing so. The SAA wanted to interveneᅳ but maybe Sage needed to get some shit off her chest.

"Him?" For the first time since Hayley was born, serious emotions flickered in Jax's eyes. Only this time it wasn't joy but regret. "It was a boy?"

Sage just nodded, if she spoke now her voice would fail anyway. She had always known the gender of their baby, but she was never ready to say it out loud beforeᅳ the pain was too deep.

"But that doesn't matter, you have your family. And as crazy as it sounds, I really hope that you are happy", she said through her tears, even managing to smile before anger rose in her again. "You didn't care about our son or me, and I will never forgive you for not being there when I needed you the most. And I can't forgive Fawn either", she paused to take a shaky breath.

When she saw Hayley snuggled up against her father, she quickly wiped tears from the corners of her eyes. "And I just want you to accept that. I can't be a part of Hayley's life and I'm sorry for that. But it's better this way and I want you both to accept that. So stop forcing your child on me."

"Please Sage." By now Jax's look had something pleading while he ran his hand up and down his daughter's back. "I know I made a mistake, a huge mistake that can't be fixed. Butᅳ"

"I don't want to hear it, Jax", Sage begged with a sniffle, shoving her hands into the back pockets of her skinny jeans. "It's too late to apologize. You've had so many years and nothing. No call, no text, not even a quick apology. It's best if we don't talk about this. I'll be gone in a few days anyway, let's just avoid each other while I'm still here."

"Hey, where are you going?" Happy gently grabbed her upper arm as Sage pushed past Jax and headed towards the exit.

"I just need some fresh air", she let him know, forcing a smile on her lips. "I'll stay here, I promise."

Sighing, Happy loosened his grip until he finally let go of her completely, looking at her intently. "I'll be back in a few hours. Can I really trust you to stay here?"

As a hint of concern flashed across Happy's face, Sage felt bad. She didn't want others to have to worry about her. This time a smile graced her lips again, a genuine one.

"I'll stay here, I promise." Without thinking about what Jax could think, she squeezed Happy's hand before finally going outside. Sitting down on one of the picnic tables, she asked Chibs, who had joined her, for a cigarette.

She had to get out of here as quickly as possible. And at the same time her heart ached at the thought of having to leave behind what she has with Happy.