love as a child was plentiful
the days when my parents had enough time

as I grew up
it became more and more astray

so you may ask me
how I know what's love is
when I have never experienced it?

I just...
know

it felt satisfying
being liked

being loved felt overwhelming
I was unsure on how to act

I agreed to being his girlfriend
but how do I be his girlfriend?

he noticed instantly
he said

"I love you
because you're you
don't change yourself Camellia"

his hugs were always so
comforting

I wish I offered the same feeling back
it seemed as though I was taking everything
and not giving anything back

I hate myself for that.

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