"You're gone from my sight,
but never from my heart."

//24//

♥~❀❀ ~❁❀❀❁~ ❀❀~♥

I have never run faster than now in my whole life. Not caring how many people I bumped into, I ran. I only saw the path to the hospital, nothing was in my eyes other than that.

My mind was clouded with her heart-shaped smile, her voice, her jokes, pieces and pieces of moments we shared like films. A tear of fear was rolling down from my eye, oh god I can't lose her.

I was destroyed when I saw a snowy-white cloth covering her body up to her face.

I was broken when I pulled down the cloth to see her once pink lips now pale.

I was dead when I saw her lying lifeless on the hospital bed.

No, no.

I'm still dreaming, aren't I?

"Violet." Taehyung muscles moved in reflex to hold me when I lost my balance. My brain wasn't functioning, my mouth parted but nothing came out. The nurses around us looked at me, their eyes read, sorry, we tried.

"No-no. She's not dead!" I screamed, shaking my head vigorously to the point that it would fall off. The overwhelming feeling was killing me internally. My best friend is gone.

"Violet," Taehyung gulped down the lump in his throat as he approached me.

My lips were trembling, no, my whole body was objecting the truth, no. My head hurt from frowning too much. Tear after tear dropped to the bed sheet pathetically as I kneeled in front of my best friend. I held my chest as if there was someone clutching my lungs, squeezing it until all the oxygen were forced out.

How do I breathe?

"Soo-yah..." I breathed out, my voice cracking. I held her icy cold hand in mine. I don't recall how she felt lively anymore. Her eyes were closed, her fragile body lying flat, no response. What did I even expect? For her to jump up and tell me it's a prank?

I wish this was a prank.

But no, nothing. "P-Please tell me this is- this is not true," I begged. Taehyung was sobbing silently as he hung his head low.

"Tell me- this is not true."

Oh god, my best friend's soul is out of her body.

My mind pictured the way person's soul will be looking at his or her loved ones in movies. Hence, I said everything I want to tell out loud.

"Soo-yah. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I-i love you, please don't go..." my body weakened like it would break if someone touches me. My knees were shaking, I can't move.

My eyes travelled to Jisoo's arms. Anger, hatred invaded my mind, one word was marked on it with bloody ink.

Red.

"Jisoo wouldn't want to see you destroy yourself like this, Violet. You doing everything you can do to make yourself sick won't bring her back!" I could hear Taehyung's annoyance and worry in his voice but my mind was empty.

I didn't want to get off my bed, I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to move, I didn't even want to breathe.

Since when was inhaling a little air so hard?

"Please say something," I felt warm hands on my shoulder, gently caressing. His deep voice echoed in the hushed room.

"Violet, I hate seeing you torture yourself. Please, let things go and just forget them." Taehyung begged in desperation. I let out an offensive scoff, sitting up from the bed.

Taehyung's eyes were rounded in unexpectedness. My teary and cold eyes met his, the bloody veins were visible on my eyeballs, I probably looked like a ghost.

"Just forget?" I chuckled in disbelief.

"Violet-"

"If you are here telling me to just forget her and act like nothing happened, screw you. Taehyung. The least I can do is remember her. She may have disappeared in my sight, but she will never be gone in my heart." I emphasized every word, pointing at my chest, where my heart was hammering inside.

"I didn't mean it like that." Taehyung gulped.

"You told me to let go of the things we cannot change. Why are you doing this to yourself now?" Taehyung queried, his jaw clenching in tension.

"Don't you feel a little guilty? She died because of us! Jisoo was so young! She still has so many things in life waiting for her and us- we destroyed her!" I pushed Taehyung's chest harshly, fierceness controlling my body.

"Dammit Violet, I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do right now." Taehyung cursed under his breath.

"I met her when I was eight, we stuck together ever since. She was like my sister and she's gone now, can't I at least be sad and cry for a while? I'm a human, we're animals with emotions! Is it wrong to feel down? Is it wrong to not be fine!? The last thing I said to her was "piss off"! Since you came into my life, I neglected her day by day. I didn't even get to tell her I love her!" I let out the anger, not realizing myself was scolding into Taehyung's face, nor realizing my words were harsh.

Taehyung remained silent, retreating from the bed back to the floor. His eyes were piercing into the cold tiles like they could burn holes.

"I'm sorry. I understand how sad you're right now, I only want to make sure you're fine." Taehyung half-whispered. As if the heated conversation was extinguished by a bucket of water, I seemed to have calmed down a bit.

"I'm fine, maybe not right now but I will be fine." I went through my long hair with my hands.

"I should have seen this coming- I should have killed her before she can even kill Jisoo," Taehyung added blankly. I shot my head up.

"What did you say?" I questioned.

"I-i." Taehyung stuttered.

"Did you know Jisoo was going to die?"

Annyeong annyeong naneun Yeontan ah, helium gaseu megeodeon neun ileogae dwaeji~

-Helium song by Miss Kim Jisoo

Oh I'm gonna miss our jisooturtlerabbitkim🥺

Thank you for reading,
lalalalallalove you💜