A month... A month had passed since that relapse. I had cut myself again in front of the mirror while crying. I felt so useless that that was how I channeled it, they hadn't told me anything about that conversation at the snack, they just acted as if there had been no such thing. Ran became more distant because of that I guessed, but it was still wrong. They also did not realize what happened in that room every time they worked, went to a party or slept because it avoided making noise and cleaned everything thoroughly.

-Hello - I listened to Ran who was at the door of my room waiting for him to say something about his presence because he had been there for 5 minutes - Do I notice you scattered, is something wrong? - He asked me coming in to sit next to me on the bed watching me read a book.

-It's okay, I'm just reading - I said without looking at him yet, then he took the book from me to see what it was.

-Mmmmh Unworthy of being human... It seems to be fine - he commented aloud, he was going to read the back cover, but I stopped him by taking it off and getting up to put it away.

- Do you need something Ran? - I said without looking at him until I heard another voice in the background.

-He doesn't dare to tell you, he's a chicken - I looked at the door and saw Rindou at the door carrying a suitcase.

-Hey? What's up Ran? - I looked at him strangely as he sighed and got up.

-Y/N we have to go to Yokohama for some business... If all goes well we'll be back in a week - As soon as I heard that I felt something snap inside me and I lowered my head, when he saw my action he grabbed my chin so that look at him - you have enough food, do not go out eh? - He said as if he were a father - Will you be alright little girl? - I missed that nickname on his part and I'm glad he told me again, but it felt like I was choking with the air I breathe.

-Yes, I'll be fine - I said giving him a sad smile trying to hide how I felt

-Hey idiots I'm here - Said his brother causing Ran to leave my room waving goodbye with his hand going to the exit where his suitcase was already waiting.

I went to the exit and saw how they were waving goodbye smiling, despite my shattered inside. As soon as I saw them go I fell to the ground breaking into tears as the feeling worsened by the moment with the voice I heard in my head which I could no longer ignore.

-I'm so useless that they abandoned me... Did I stop serving them because of the money?... I should die... I should cease to exist... - said my own self, I listened to all the times that my mother insulted me insistently, the times my stepbrother told me I was useless, until I fell asleep on the floor in the hall.

I woke up the next day on the floor... I felt empty... Tired... Like I had a hangover. I got up and went to the kitchen listlessly starting to do what I used to do.

The week passed and my situation did not improve, I was getting more and more depressed and my mind attacked me more to the point of making me more cut than before. It was already Sunday and they were supposed to arrive today, but it was late at night and they didn't arrive... I went to my room annoyed, took out the box and took what I needed... During the week I put my cell phone on charge I don't remember how I got to do it, but that's how it was and I left it at the base of the mirror.

I started to cut myself with the music that I had on the music player that I brought from my apartment.

https://youtu.be/YqsJUqsU6UI

But the cuts passed and I didn't feel better than before... I was still sad, angry and fed up I started yelling at the mirror...

Narrates Rindou Haitani

The mission had been a success, but quite devastating because I noticed my brother elsewhere. We were finally done and I was driving home until I decided to stop in a field.

- Why are we here? - asked my serious brother.

-Lately you're in other things and that's not normal - I turned to see him - and I think I know why...

He turned to face us.

-I'm fine, it's nothing, I just remember our teenage years and- I interrupted him.

- You can lie to others, but not to me... It's because of the hostage... I told you we should release her, she's doing you wrong, you don't see- now he interrupted me.

-No, she will stay, I already told you that nothing happens between her and me, just that-

-Only that it has created an emotional dependence on you and you can't separate yourself... As if you were his father, what happens is that you don't like that title because you don't want to be his father, you want to be his- then Ran grabbed me by the neck of the shirt, cross a line that should not have crossed it seems to be.

-DON'T EVER THINK OF FOLLOWING! - He yelled at me... The last time he did this to me was when that girl on the bridge... Realizing this, he let go of me regretfully and got out of the car to lean on the hood while he lit a cigarette and began to smoke.

I left after a few minutes and stood next to him.

-Brother, what happens to you is not bad, but do you understand that the bad thing is how it leaves you? - I said looking at nothing as he did.

-Sorry I shouldn't have yelled at you... - he apologized to which I laughed and he looked at me strangely.

-I remembered that the last time we fought was because of that girl on the bridge, when I told you that you didn't have to go and you didn't want to stay - I smiled when I remembered.

-Those were good times, huh? I wonder what happened to that girl afterwards... Is she grateful? - I ask looking at the stars.

- We will never know that, but we still have the memory of being able to save someone - I removed his hair and smiled.

- Go? Is there someone waiting for us? - I said going back to the car being followed by Ran who finished the cigarette before.

I started driving home, noticing Ran better, which I'm glad of, even though we would have to talk about this issue with more patience another day, it's not every day your brother falls in love with a hostage half his age.

We got home and Ran got out of the car first, going for the bags followed by me, but as we got closer, screams were heard, which upset Ran, causing him to slow down his pace, we entered the house and we could hear music from background along with screams that disturbed my brother leaving the bags at the entrance going to the little girl's room where the screams came from...

- SHIT! WHY!? WHAT NEED TO KIDNAP ME IF THEY ABANDON ME!!!? WHAT NEED TO TELL ME "I LOVE YOU" AND THEN PUNCH A KNIFE IN MY BACK - I froze just like Ran but it affected him more, he was going to go in but I prevented him from doing it because it could get worse. Then it sounded like a mirror breaking.

- Fuck! Because it does not work?! I'm still sick and I don't feel light like before!!! Why the hell of life!? WHY!? Why Mitsuya!? Why Yuki!? Because, why!? - Then we heard silence added to the music and a thud on the floor, then Ran entered, still making me side.

Narrates Ran Haitani

I entered distressed by what was happening and I could see my little girl on the floor holding a stained razor, a broken phone but turned on and bleeding along with pieces of glass on her arm and on the floor belonging to the mirror.

- RHINE SHIT! IT BLEEDS OUT! - I took her in my arms, covering her with my shirt because from the waist up she was only wearing a bra, and I started to go to the car with my brother.

Rindou was in charge of driving while I tended to as many cuts as I could, then I listened to her slightly.

-Because Ran... - she said in a small voice making my heart break.

As soon as we got to the hospital they took Y/N from my hands to heal her, while I was still at the entrance, I was stained with the blood of the girl who had turned me crazy and to top it off I couldn't do more than have the least I had... Patience.

-Brother will be fine... - she said patting me on the back while looking at the phone and the knife she had in my hands.

- What did I do wrong brother? - I said looking at him about to cry, something strange because I never cried and Rindou knew it so he hugged me.

-It's not your fault... It's just that we were late and the dependency is bad - he said, stroking my head, separating us.

I gave him the knife and while we waited for news in the waiting room, which was empty for the hours of the night that it was, I started looking at the cell phone... As soon as I opened it I saw the name of the chat "My seamstress" I tensed when I saw it, but everything changed when I saw the photos...

- What's up Ran? you are tense... - said my brother to whom I did not answer look at the date of the conversation

-It was when... - then I understood everything and burst into tears, then Rindou took the phone from me and he checked it, understanding it and sighing

- Do you think it's her right???

-Yes...

Next:

6. Ashes Can Be Roses