Word count: 2863

𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 to get tacos, the group decided to make a stop at the hair salon that Allison worked at—which happened to be closed for the day. 

After a few drinks of the wine they had opened, and after sharing a few secrets and stories from their new life, Elizabeth, Vanya, and Klaus were earnestly listening as Allison continued to rant about her husband while doing Klaus's hair.

"The nerve of that man," Allison chuckled wildly as she grabbed the bottle of wine in one hand, a comb in the other. "I mean, one thing goes wrong, and he's on a warpath. I mean, 'doesn't know who I am'?" She stood behind the chair Klaus was in as he smoked, looking into the mirror in front of him. "No, no. No, Ray, you know exactly who I am. You just can't handle it."

Elizabeth giggled as she watched Vanya, who was sitting in a chair beside her on the opposite side of the other two, pretend to shoot the empty beer bottles that were lined up in front of her with her finger gun while whispering, "Pew! Pew!"

"I'm protecting him," Allison continued.

"Pew! Pew!"

"Ow," Klaus groaned as Allison slapped him upside the head. "From what?"

"Pew! Pew!"

"The end of the world, for one," Allison responded with a small scoff.

Vanya leaned back in her chair, her arms resting on the thin armrests. "Is the world really gonna end in six days?"

"Well, it did last time," Elizabeth answered with a small sigh, "and we did everything Five and I could think of to stop it."

"Hey, wouldn't it be weird if Five grew up all hot?" Klaus questioned as he stuck his cigarette in his mouth and stood up, leaving the clips attached to the side of his hair. "Wouldn't that be weird?"

"What do you mean, 'if'?" Elizabeth scoffed, turning in her chair to watch Klaus hobble his way over to them. "He already is."

"Ew," Allison remarked, pointing her comb at her.

"'Oh, ew! Ew!'" Klaus mocked with a roll of the eyes. "Please, Miss 'Luther was my lover.'"

Allison raised a hand in defence as Klaus began to make kissy noises. "We have never even kissed."

"Yeah, but you guys were making little sick moon-dog eyes at each other all through puberty and breakfasts and all that," Elizabeth giggled.

"Oh, you're one to talk," Allison scoffed as she put her hands on her hips. "You're dating Five."

"Mhm, well, I'm not Five's sister," Elizabeth pointed out with a grin. "You and Luther, however, different story."

Vanya spun her chair around, a confused smile on her face. "Other than Elizabeth, aren't we all brothers and sisters, or . . . ?"

Allison sat back in the chair that Klaus had just been on, her face scrunching. "Well . . . technically, it—"

"'Technically'? If you have to word—use the word 'technically,' you're already in trouble," Klaus pointed out before pointing towards Elizabeth. "I mean, Queen Elizabeth—at least she isn't in the family. She gets a pass."

Elizabeth looked over at him, putting a hand on her heart. "Ouch."

"Ah," he tsked as he slapped her on the arm, "you know what I mean."

"Okay, can . . . can we focus?" Allison demanded, waving her hands around. "I mean, clearly we're not saving the world tonight, but maybe, maybe, we could at least try to save my marriage!"

Klaus, who had been in the middle of refilling his flask, immediately refused, "No! No, because that's like . . . that's like asking a nun how to hump someone's leg. I mean, who in this room knows shit about relationships other than this little kid?" He gestured towards Elizabeth, who immediately gasped in the offence.

"I'm not little!"

He ignored her as he stumbled to the middle of the room and pointed to Vanya. "This one? In secret love with some farm Frau."

"Her name's Sissy," Vanya corrected with a small pout.

"Which is an improvement on her previous love interest," Klaus added, "the serial killer."

Vanya's eyes widened. "What?"

"Klaus!" Elizabeth scolded, but only received raised hands in return.

"Meanwhile, I'm carrying a torch . . . for a soldier I haven't technically met yet, and Luther is in love with his sister."

"Okay, again," Allison sighed, "we are not biological."

"Face it, the healthiest long-term relationship in this family is Elizabeth and Five, and they're, like, three years old!"

"I am twenty-seven, Klaus!"

"Three-year-olds . . . banging . . ." Klaus looked off into the distance, clutching his flask close to his chest. "I can't believe it . . ."

"Five is literally seven years older than you," Elizabeth groaned.

"Wait, you didn't deny . . ." Allison straightened up in her chair, her eyes widening as she looked towards the girl. "Did you guys . . . ?"

"What? No!" Elizabeth immediately shook her head, her cheeks pinkening. "I didn't—I meant—I was just correcting him! I wasn't listening to his words!"

"Oh, yeah, mhm. Was it the first time?" Allison asked as she leaned forward, her eyes narrowed. "Wait, when was the first time?"

"We haven't done" —Elizabeth waved her hands around frantically— "any of that!"

"Well, I'm sure you're going to soon," Klaus giggled before his voice transformed into a wise one. "The end is nigh!"

"Oh, shut up." Elizabeth rolled her eyes as she leaned back in her seat. "You don't know what you're talking about."

Allison grinned. "Oh, to be young and—"

"Don't say it."

"—naive."

She rubbed her eyes. "God . . ."

It was quiet for a moment before Vanya spoke up, "How do you guys deal with this?"

Allison, who had just taken a drink from the wine bottle in her hand, raised her eyebrows. "What?"

"I mean, all of it." Vanya shrugged. "The time travel, seeing the dead, the end of the world."

"Well, I get really high," Klaus explained as he took a seat at a table in the corner of the room. "Allison . . . Allison . . . ," he dropped his voice to a whisper, "lies to herself."

In rebuttal, Allison kicked a rolling stool towards him before turning her chair back around to face the mirror.

"Elizabeth . . . well, you know, she's actually useful and tries to help," Klaus continued with a shrug. "And you suppress all your emotions deep, deep down until you . . . you blow shit up."

"Yeah, I'd really like to not do that anymore." Vanya pouted.

Klaus leaned back in his chair, his eyebrows lifting. "Well, you've got six days, missy."

"What the hell are we supposed to do with six days?" Allison moped as she brushed the ends of her hair.

"Party?" Klaus shrugged with a small scoff. "I don't know."

Vanya sat up straight, nodding to herself. "I'm gonna tell Sissy that I love her. I don't want any secrets."

Klaus breathed out smoke as he nodded. "Yeah."

"Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you're right." Allison got up from her chair, grabbing her bottle again. "Yes, 'cause, you know, if . . . if it's all gonna go tits-up, the least I could do is be honest with my husband."

"Oh . . . does that mean I have to face my cult?" Klaus groaned. "I just hate group breakups. It's why I stopped dating twins."

A goofy grin came over Vanya's face as she spread her arms out. "This family's amazing."

"Yeah, sure," Klaus chuckled as he walked up to Allison.

"Okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves," Allison giggled as Klaus wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Come here, guys," she lured with a smile. "Come on. Get over here."

Elizabeth and Vanya exchanged grins before getting up and heading over to the other two, Vanya bouncing her way there. They embraced in a group hug as Vanya murmured, "I love you guys."

Suddenly, Twistin' the Night Away played over the radio, and Allison immediately gasped, "Oh! You guys! I love this song!"

She ran over to the light blue radio that sat surrounded by hair supplies on the counter and turned the dial to raise the volume.

The three girls began to dance, although Klaus was a little reluctant at first as he continued smoking his cigarette. Eventually, they coaxed him into it, and he put it away before joining them.

They spent the next three minutes dancing, using the help of a cart full of hair supplies, and making good use of the hairdryer chairs.

As the song faded away into its end, the group settled back into their seats. Elizabeth smiled as she gazed at them; she had missed this.

—✩—

Elizabeth sighed as she grabbed the keys out of her pocket and unlocked the door to the kitchen, quickly twisting its end into the lock. She opened the door with one hand as she slipped the key back into her pocket with the other, and was surprised to see Diego sitting at the table.

He looked up at her, having heard the door open. "Goldie."

"Hey, Eggo," she greeted as she locked the door and walked over to him, "what's up?"

"Check it." He handed her an off-white letter, which, at the top, had Reginald's name printed, along with the symbol of an umbrella.

"'To my Pursuers: I, Reginald Hargreeves, request the pleasure of your company for a light supper on the 20th of November, 1963, at half-past seven o'clock. 1624 Magnolia Street,'" she read aloud, her eyebrows furrowing. She looked up to see the smirk on Diego's face, and she questioned, "This . . . Where'd you get this?"

He gave a small shrug. "A car was following Luther and me and dropped it off."

She looked back down at the letter. "Shit."

—✩—

Elizabeth laid on her bed, rereading the same paragraph of The Count of Monte Cristo for the millionth time. Her mind had been buzzing with anxiousness ever since she had read the letter, and she didn't even have Five to talk to. 

Until now, that is.

She sat up as Five entered the room and locked the door behind him. She put her book down on the nightstand as she questioned, "Hey, where did you go?"

"Shit." Five sat down next to her, running a hand through his hair as he stared ahead of him. Clearly, something was wrong.

"What is it?" She shifted closer to him, her eyebrows furrowing in worry. "Did something happen?"

"Well, first of all," he scoffed as he looked up at her. "Lila is the Handler's daughter."

"She's the . . ." She took a moment to process this before her jaw dropped. "What?"

"Yeah." Five nodded. "She was just outside after I went out, and I chased her. She brought me to a warehouse, we fought—obviously, I won—and at that point, I knew she was with the Commission." He sighed before continuing, "The Handler came out and . . . and she gave me an offer."

"Offer?" Elizabeth repeated. "For what?"

"Within the Commission, there's a board of directors—the higher-ups," he explained. "The Handler wants me to kill them. If I do, she'll bring us all back to 2019."

"But the—"

"No apocalypse," he reassured her. "Everything will be back to normal."

Elizabeth was quiet for a moment before tentatively asking, "Did you say yes?"

"I said I'd consider it," he replied stiffly.

"Why didn't you just say yes?" she questioned incredulously. "That might be our only chance!"

"It's not," Five said firmly. "If we find Dad, and he helps us . . ." He sighed, chewing on his lower lip before murmuring, "I'd rather do that than return to my old life."

Elizabeth exhaled, "Well, I have something that'll help us with that . . ."

His eyebrows furrowed as he questioned, "What?"

She reached into the pocket of her blazer and took out the letter that she had kept, handing it to Five, who then scanned over its content. 

His eyes widened as he read it once more to be sure, and he looked back at her.

"Where'd you get this?"

"Diego gave it to me," Elizabeth answered with a shrug. "He said that a guy in a car dropped it off."

Five handed the letter back to her as he stated, "We have to make sure everything goes well."

"If everyone else was invited . . . ," she sighed as she pocketed the letter once more. "I'm not so sure that'll happen."

"Elle," he sighed, "one thing goes wrong, and I'll have to do something I really don't want to do."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "You know, if you end up having to take her offer—which you probably will, I don't trust Diego or Luther—you're not going alone."

"What are you talking abo—" A look of realization dawned on his face, and he immediately shook his head. "No."

"Yes."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"Elizabeth."

"Five."

"You're not coming with me," he said sternly, shifting his body slightly so that he was facing her.

Elizabeth folded her arms in protest. "And why not?"

His expression softened as his voice quietened, "I can't see you get hurt again, Elle."

She scoffed. "When was the last time I got hurt?"

"Literally yesterday," he answered instantly. "And the day before."

"All right, but I always end up okay, don't I?" she pointed out with raised eyebrows.

"Elle . . ."

"I'm coming with you," she said firmly, her brown eyes staring directly into his green ones, "and you're not changing my mind."

Five gazed at her for a moment before heaving a deep sigh. "Fine."

She smiled, leaning over and kissing his cheek. "Thank you."

"But your safety comes first, all right?" he warned with a raised finger. "If you're about to get hurt or something, just make a portal and leave."

"Really sweet of you to say that, but no."

He seemed taken aback by this response. "What?"

"Getting a little hurt is more than worth the reward we'll get." Elizabeth shrugged. "Besides, that's only if we have to do this. Let's just focus on the dinner first."

"Well," he exhaled, "we have all day tomorrow to figure out our plan."

"And I'm sure it'll be a wonderful plan because you'll come up with it. Because, apparently" —she smiled— "nothing can get done unless you're here."

He gazed at her while chuckling for a moment before leaning forward and planting a kiss on her lips. He was about to pull away when she placed her hands on his cheeks and kissed him more deeply.

She drew away, only a few inches as she leaned her forehead against his, and whispered, "This isn't over yet, remember? We better finish it."

He smiled just before he pressed his lips against hers, a warm feeling flooding from her chest to the rest of her body. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he placed his hands on her waist, those hands then slowly trailing down to her hips.

With a small addition of confidence, Elizabeth pushed herself up and swung her leg over his lap to straddle his hips and kiss him deeply, though that didn't last very long. Five smirked against her lips and flipped her over, then pushed her down gently so her head fell against the plush pillows.

He crawled the full way up her body, then reached his hand down under her thigh to hook her leg around his waist and pull himself even closer to her. She reached up to pull the tie out from under his sweater vest and began to loosen it.

Once Elizabeth threw the tie in a random direction, Five sat up and tugged off his blazer to throw that off to the side. He sank back in instantly as soon as the blazer hit the ground, his lips like fire against hers and his fingers teasing her skin as he trailed higher and higher up her thigh while her hands pushed his sweater vest off his body so she could fumble with the buttons of his shirt.

Elizabeth's fingers finally tickled against the skin of his arms as she pushed the white fabric off his frame and off the bed. Her heart was beginning to beat a little faster when he trailed his fingers over to the strap of her dress and slipped it off of her at an agonizingly slow pace.

She hummed faintly when he kissed down her jaw and began nipping at the soft skin of her neck.

Continuing to line kisses down her jaw, Five's hands made her shudder as he slid the rest of her uniform off of her body and dropped it to the floor. It wasn't long until his pants joined.

His hands roamed her body, lingering on the spot where she had been hurt for a few moments before continuing as his lips finally moved from her jaw to her lips. Passionately, he kissed her.

It was safe to say that Elizabeth was glad that Five had locked the door.