Word count: 4071
Disclaimer: In this chapter, they're gonna meet Adult Five, but since he's thirty-six, he's not gonna look like he does in the show. Just imagine Aidan Gallagher as a thirty-six-year-old I guess lol

𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐙𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 arrived back in the alleyway in front of Elliott's place, and Five immediately headed towards the dumpster that he had stashed the briefcase in before pulling it out.

As he scrambled to get the watch out of his pocket, a panting Luther came up behind them. 

"Hey," Luther greeted, his eyebrows then furrowing as he noticed that they were the only ones occupying the area. "Where is everyone?"

Five glanced around before a miffed smile came onto his face. "You're the first!"

Their eyes then turned to the front, where Klaus came dashing in, his arms spread out as he stumbled his way towards them.

"We made it!" he shouted gleefully as a grin came onto his face.

"What do you mean, 'we'?" questioned Five with a wrinkled nose.

Klaus didn't answer, instead pushing at his own arm as he grunted before pushing up his chin. He then turned around and vomited, the yellowish fluid spilling all over the pavement, before he dropped to the ground, groaning.

"I can't believe it," Luther muttered, his face scrunched up in disgust as he stared at the moaning man. "I mean, you're here."

Five checked his watch, and he shook his head as he exclaimed, "We've got eight minutes left!"

"I just had the strangest dream," Klaus, who was now laying on his back, whimpered as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"Where are the others?" Five questioned angrily, though no one had a response for him.

Elizabeth leaned against the wall, closing her eyes in frustration as she began to rub her tattoo. She knew that this wasn't going to work.

Not that she didn't have faith in the others . . . but she didn't have faith in the others.

After what felt like a million hours, Luther slammed his fist against the dumpster that he was leaning on as he growled, "We've got a minute left!"

"What's going on, guys?" Klaus mumbled, his voice a little hoarse. "Are we going somewhere?"

"It was a simple task. It was a simple task!" Five exclaimed angrily as he paced back and forth. "All we had to do was be here! Didn't have to fight a giant sea monster, no. An army of mutants? Nein."

Luther checked the watch that he had strapped onto his right wrist. "I can't believe this."

"It was handed to us on a silver platter," Five continued.

Klaus slowly sat up and waved a hand at Five. "Could you just moan a little softer? My head is killing me."

"Listen to me, you useless puke bag," Five seethed as he stepped over to him, "we just blew our chance to save the world!"

Suddenly, their attention drew to the sitting briefcase as it began to whir and click; their time was up.

Five gave a small scoff, muttering an irritated "Goddammit" as he grabbed the briefcase and tossed it into the air.

The vortex that they had seen a couple of times appeared again, causing Klaus to fall back down, and swallowed the briefcase with a zapping noise before disappearing.

Five stared at where the vortex had just been. "We were that close. That close."

Luther walked back over to the dumpster, resting his elbow on top of it as he put his head on his hand. "Now what?"

"Now nothing, Luther, all right?" shouted Five as he paced around once more. "Make your peace with God."

"What?" Elizabeth questioned, her eyebrows furrowing. "What about Allison and Vanya?"

"Screw them both, all right?" Five scoffed. "They should have been here."

"What about Diego?" groaned Klaus as he slowly sat up. "He's quite a responsible young man, no?"

Elizabeth nodded in agreement, running a hand through her hair. "Something must've happened to them."

After giving a frustrated kick to a cardboard box, Five spread his arms. "Screw Diego, all right? Screw everybody! I was better off on my own in the apocalypse."

"Five, come on," Luther chided.

"You know what, Luther? It's every sibling for himself now." Five began to walk back towards the entrance to the building, spreading his arms out as he called, "How 'bout that?"

Klaus's face scrunched up, his fingers tugging the two sides of his button-up. "Did Five just get meaner?"

Elizabeth sighed, frowning as she stared at the door that Five had slammed behind him. "Yeah." She turned back to Klaus, who was still whimpering on the ground, and instructed, "Klaus, go check on Allison, okay? Make sure she's okay. Find the others, and we'll meet back here. Luther and I can handle Five."

She gestured for Luther to follow her as she headed towards the door, and upon entering, she saw that Five was still going up the stairs.

"Hey, Five," she called as she rushed up the steps, Luther a step behind her, "doomsday is still coming. We gotta think of a new plan."

"Don't you get it, Elle?" Five shouted. "It's over, all right? We're already dead."

"Then where are you going?" Luther questioned as they reached the top landing.

Five turned to them as he furiously told them, "I'm going to do the unthinkable."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" asked Luther with a scrunched face and furrowed eyebrows.

Five ignored him as he reached the door and sighed, "I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this."

"Come to what, Five?" Elizabeth asked irritatedly as she and Luther followed him inside.

Five headed inside their bedroom and shut the door, and the click of the lock sounded.

—☆—

Elizabeth sighed, shifting in her spot on the sofa chair as she read one of Elliott's crazy conspiracy books.

She glanced up at Luther, who was napping on the couch with a small quilt spread over his lap and then turned her gaze to the bedroom door, still pondering on what Five was doing.

She turned back to her book, a frown on her face as she continued to read.

Only a couple of minutes later did she hear the fridge door open, and Luther jerked awake at the sound.

"Five?" Elizabeth called as she pulled Luther off of the couch.

The two of them walked to the kitchen, where they saw Five standing in front of the open fridge, chugging water from a white bottle.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she watched him guzzle the water down. "Are you okay?"

He pulled the bottle away, closing it as he sighed, "I'm gonna need to be hydrated."

"Hydrated?" Luther repeated in confusion.

Five ignored him as he shut the fridge door, and he then grabbed a container of baby powder and began to sprinkle it into the sleeves of his shirt.

"What's with the baby powder?" questioned Elizabeth with a wrinkled nose.

"It'll help with the itching," Five answered, tilting his head up as he bounced on his toes and continued shaking the powder in.

"What itching? There's itching?" Luther inquired. "What the hell is going on here?"

Realization dawned on Elizabeth as she watched Five pour the powder down his pants. "You do have a plan."

Five put the container down and gave his body one last shake to settle the baby powder before straightening his sweater vest.

"Well, it's a desperation move, but" —he grabbed the blazer that he had left on the table and brushed past them into the living room— "since our brain-dead siblings are incapable of meeting a simple deadline, I got no choice."

"No choice about what?" asked Luther in bafflement as the two turned towards the boy.

Five threw the blazer over his shoulder, keeping his clutch on it with one hand while the other pulled out the watch from his pocket. He checked it before shoving it back into his pocket. "I just arrived in Dallas fifteen minutes ago."

"Should I be worried about you?" Luther questioned with a wrinkled nose as Five began to put his blazer on.

"Luther, if you recall, I was sent to 1963" —he began to stretch— "on a job by the Commission to make sure the president was assassinated."

"Oh" —Elizabeth nodded— "so, your old self is out there."

Five rolled his neck as he confirmed, "Precisely."

"What, just walking around Dallas?" Luther asked.

"Walking around Dallas," Five continued as he leaned forward and raised his eyebrows, "with a briefcase that can get us home."

"Oh my God," Luther breathed out, his eyes wide. "Five, you're a genius."

"However," Five cut in, "there are two significant problems with this plan. Problem number one," he began as he turned around and began to pace back and forth: "I am a trained assassin, arguably the most dangerous assassin in the space-time continuum. If I know me, I'm not going to react kindly to bumping into myself. Problem number two, and this is the real fly in the ointment here: you're not supposed to exist in close proximity to yourself in the same timeline. The side effects can be disastrous."

"Side effects?" Elizabeth echoed worriedly, her eyebrows knitting together tightly. "What sort of side effects?"

"Well, according to Commission Handbook, Chapter twenty-seven, subsection three-b," Five said as he paused and turned towards them, "the seven stages in paradox psychosis are—stage one: denial, two: itching, three: extreme thirst and urination, four: excessive gas, five: acute paranoia, six: uncontrolled perspiration, and seven: homicidal rage."

"Homicidal rage?" Elizabeth repeated softly, her eyes wide as she exchanged an incredulous look with Luther.

"Yeah," Five confirmed.

"Jeez, I don't know," Luther sighed. "This maybe isn't such a good idea."

"It's a hail Mary," Five called as he began to walk towards the back again, spreading his arms out. "But what choice do we got, Luther?"

"I don't know, you already seem a bit squirrelly if I'm being honest," Luther pointed out.

"Look, Luther," Five said quickly as he walked up to him and grabbed his arms, "I'm gonna need you to help me through this one, all right? Both of you." He glanced over at Elizabeth before continuing, "I need a spotter."

"A spotter?" Luther repeated, his nose wrinkled. "What is that? Like, a wingman?"

Five nodded quickly, adjusting the waistline of his pants as he murmured, "In case the paradox psychosis gets too severe, I need you to help me stay on task, all right? So, whatever happens, whatever I say, we need to get that briefcase. Okay?"

Luther nodded. "Okay."

Five turned to Elizabeth, his eyebrows raising. "Okay?"

She sighed, a small frown on her face as she nodded. "Okay."

—☆—

The three of them entered an Irish pub, and Irish jig music and chatter immediately greeted them upon their arrival.

Small, printed Irish and American flags lined the walls, along with small posters that welcome President Kennedy's arrival. There were quite a few people that sat and ate at the square tables, though none of them paid the three any attention as they huddled off to the side.

"Well, there I am," Five breathed out.

Elizabeth and Luther looked towards the bar to see someone who they quickly realized to be the adult version of Five.

Most of him had remained quite similar with the teen version of himself: the dark hair that was parted on the side; the bright green eyes that were so concentrated on the notebook he was writing in; and the height that seemed to be only a little taller than the teen version of himself.

Still, it was obvious that he had aged; silver streaks accented his dark hair, and a few wrinkles were added onto the skin next to his eyes and on his forehead. The circles under his eyes were a little darker than normal, and he had a little bit of a scruff on his jaw.

Underneath his chair sat the briefcase that they needed so badly, and Luther's eyebrows furrowed upon seeing it.

"Why don't we just grab the briefcase and run?" asked Luther.

"Luther, I would never let that happen," Five answered as he shook his head. "We're trained to guard these briefcases with our lives."

"Right." Luther nodded.

"Plus, it's the inherent paradox where this gets tricky," Five sighed, looking back towards the older version of himself. "I'm endangering my existence just being in the room with myself."

"Huh—what do you mean?" Luther questioned in confusion.

"Luther, try to keep up," Five exhaled as he looked towards Luther. "If old me doesn't travel back to 2019 like he's supposed to, the whole thing unravels itself. I cease to exist. You got me?"

Luther definitely did not get him. "I get you."

"So," Five continued as he turned his gaze back to himself, who was taking a sip of his beer, "our best chance is to talk with him, to reason with him. He'll understand. Trust me. I know myself better than, uh" —he shrugged as he scratched the back of his neck— "better than I know myself."

Elizabeth's eyes widened as she pointed a finger towards him and accused, "You just itched your neck. That's stage two of paradox psychosis!"

"No, I didn't," Five denied, shaking his head. "I didn't itch my neck."

Luther shrugged, giving him a knowing look as he pointed out, "Denial is stage one."

"I am fine, okay?" Five insisted. "Let's stay on task, shall we?"

He began to walk towards the bar before Elizabeth pressed a hand against his chest and muttered, "Wait."

Five turned to her, his eyebrows furrowing as he questioned, "What?"

"Maybe Luther and I should go first," she suggested, looking to Luther, who nodded.

"Why?" questioned Five, his eyebrows furrowing further.

"Well, you'll freak him out," Elizabeth pointed out. "Bumping into your own tiny doppelganger? he will lose his shit. Just let us break the ice."

"Elle," Five scoffed, glancing nervously towards his older self, "you've gotta realize that he'll lose his shit if you go, right?"

"What?" she questioned in bafflement. "Why?"

"Because he hasn't seen you for nineteen years," Five told her with raised eyebrows, "and he's in love with you. God" —he threw a look of distaste at Adult Five— "do I have to compete with myself now?"

"Five, it'll be fine," she reassured him as she kissed his cheek. "Give us a second."

She followed Luther up to the man, and Luther leaned against the bar, hiding Elizabeth's figure, as he exhaled, "Five."

Adult Five slowly turned his head to face Luther as he asked, "What'd you call me, big man?"

Luther leaned in, a smirk on his face as he told him, "It's me. Number one?"

Adult Five dropped his pen, his eyes widening as he murmured, "Luther. How did you . . . ?"

"Luther, let me," Elizabeth muttered as she shoved him to the side, receiving a grumbled complaint in response. 

She looked towards Adult Five, who was gaping at her, and smiled.

"Elizabeth?" he whispered, leaning forward.

"Hi, Five," she murmured.

"How are you . . ." He shook his head, his eyes roaming over her before he asked, "How do you still look like that?"

"Listen, Five. Everything is fine," she reassured him with a small smile. "I can explain. But first, I need to introduce you to somebody. Just . . . promise me you won't freak out."

His eyebrows furrowed. "What are you—"

"Five" —she grabbed his hands and clutched them tightly as she raised her eyebrows— "don't freak out. Okay?"

Adult Five glanced down at their intertwined fingers before giving a curt nod. "Okay."

She turned around to Teen Five, who was hiding behind a wooden column, and gestured for him to come out.

Slowly, he stepped out, and his gaze met his older self, who now looked shocked.

"Hey there, stranger," Teen Five greeted.

Quickly, Elizabeth and Luther led them to one of the empty square tables, where they took their seats and got their own glasses of beer.

Elizabeth and Luther sat opposite each other while the two Fives sat opposite each other. The two versions of the same person kept their eyes locked, their gazes hardened upon each other as the other two glanced at them nervously.

"Well . . . this is nice, isn't it?" Elizabeth said tentatively, receiving an encouraging nod from Luther as she patted both Fives's hands. "The four of us, together like this."

"No," growled both Fives simultaneously, their stares cold and their jaws clenched as they panted.

"Somebody explain to me how it is I'm having a pint of Guinness with my younger self," Adult Five muttered, his nose twitching.

"Older, actually," Teen Five corrected with a small tilt of the head. "I'm you, just fourteen days older."

"I have pubic hair smarter than you," scoffed Adult Five. "How's that possible?"

"I can explain," Teen Five told him with a small sigh. "You see, one hour from now, on the grassy knoll, before the president is killed, you break your contract with the Commission. I already know you're thinking about it. All those years in the apocalypse, we never stopped worrying about our family. Well, today, you are going to do something about it. Today, you are going to attempt to time travel forward to 2019. However, you are going to screw up the jump and end up in this twip of a body," he informed him as he gestured to himself, "trapped forever, small."

Elizabeth folded her arms, a small pout on her face as she mumbled, "It's not the worst thing."

"Okay," Adult Five said slowly, beads of sweat dripping down his reddening face as he clasped his hands together and stared at his younger self. "Even if I was to believe you, what am I supposed to do about it, not jump?"

"No, no. I need you to jump," Teen Five said quickly as he shook his head. "If you don't jump, I cease to exist. What I need from you is to jump correctly."

Adult Five gave a small nod, leaning forward in his seat as he told him, "I'm listening."

"The first time through, I got the calculation wrong," Teen Five admitted. "That's how I ended up in this body. But now, I know the correct calculation."

"What is it?" questioned Adult Five, his voice eager and his eyes a little wide.

"I'll be glad to tell you," Five promised him as a sly smile played on his face while he leaned forward, "in exchange for that briefcase you're holding under the table."

Adult Five didn't respond, and the two of them resumed their silence and staring contest from before.

Elizabeth exchanged an irritated expression with Luther; clearly, this was going to go on for some time.

"Yeah, yeah, so you go back to 2019, as planned," Luther explained, nervously glancing between the two men, "but this time with the right math, so you remain a full-grown man. In exchange, we get that briefcase that you no longer need."

"Timeline restored, paradox resolved," Teen Five confirmed with a nod, spreading his arms out as he raised his eyebrows. "Everyone goes on existing happily ever after."

"That's quite a bit to take in," Adult Five murmured, his eyes lowering to the table as he scrunched his eyebrows in thought.

"What do you think?" Elizabeth asked apprehensively, her forehead creasing.

"I think . . ." Adult Five took on silence once again for a few moments as he thought, and, finally, he continued, "I need to piss."

As the other three shared a look of annoyance, Adult Five stood up from his spot before bending over and grabbing the briefcase that he had previously stashed underneath his chair for safekeeping.

Keeping his grip tight on the handle, Adult Five headed over to the bathroom, which was on the other side of the room.

"Oh. Well, besides the flop sweat," Luther sighed, grabbing a napkin from the table and beginning to dry Five's sweat-ridden forehead with it, "I think that went pretty well, am I right?"

Teen Five's eyes were glued to the back of Adult Five, and he shook his head wildly as his eyebrows furrowed. He pushed Luther's hand away as he continued to shake his head, and muttered, "No, no, there's something . . . Something doesn't feel right about this."

"What . . ." Elizabeth's forehead creased as she looked between the departing Five and Teen Five as she asked, "What do you mean?"

"I don't trust him," clarified Teen Five as he kept his gaze on the man, who had just entered the bathroom.

Elizabeth's expression morphed into one of bafflement as she settled her gaze on Teen Five. "But he's you."

Teen Five turned his eyes to Elizabeth for a moment before looking back at the bathroom and nodding. "Exactly."

"Oh, dear Lord," Elizabeth sighed, her thumb beginning to rub on her tattoo as she shook her head. She looked up at Luther and raised her eyebrows. "Could you go talk to him?"

"That one?" Luther questioned as he pointed towards the bathroom, his nose wrinkling.

"Yes," she exhaled as she nodded. "Go."

With a small frown, Luther got up from his spot, giving Teen Five a small pat on the shoulder before following the old man's footsteps and heading to the bathroom.

"Stop," Teen Five muttered as he grabbed Elizabeth's hand and pulled it off of her reddening skin, though he kept his eyes on the bathroom door.

"Why?" she grumbled as she yanked her hand out of his grip and returned to the rubbing from before.

"Because you'll hurt yourself," he scoffed, grabbing her hand once again. He turned his gaze away from the bathroom door for a moment to glare at her. "It's a bad habit."

"It helps me think," she mumbled, though that clearly didn't convince him any further.

"You're a supergenius, you don't need help to think."

She only sighed in response and frowned as she noticed all the sweat dripping from his forehead and the sides of his face as he stared at the door.

"Jesus," she muttered as she grabbed a new napkin and began dabbing his face with it. "You should put deodorant all over your face."

"It's fine," Teen Five dismissed. "It's just hot."

Elizabeth scrunched her nose. "It's November."

Five shook his head as he itched the back of his neck. "Don't worry, Elle. I'm fine."

Her eyes widened as she leaned away and accused, "You itched your neck again!"

"What? I didn't," he protested, his attention snapping to her as he quickly shook his head. "I didn't!"

"Let me know if you feel the need to murder," she warned as she pointed a finger towards him. "You're getting close."

"I am not going through paradox psychosis!" Five insisted, though his eyes returned towards the bathroom door as it opened to reveal the two men they were waiting for.

Elizabeth shook her head, muttering, "Denial."

Teen Five raised his eyebrows as the other two came up to them, and nervously questioned, "We good?"

"We're good," Luther confirmed, a little apprehensive as the two Fives began staring at each other once again.

"You got a deal," Adult Five reassured him, though his eyes flickered nervously over the boy's face, which was just as sweaty as his. "We gotta hurry. Kennedy's en route. Less than an hour until showtime."

Teen Five's eyes narrowed as he stood up, and he quickly accused, "Why are you so anxious to get going all of a sudden?"

"Relax." Adult Five scoffed as he rubbed his chin on his shoulder to comfort his itch. "You're getting paranoid."

"Oh, am I?" Teen Five mocked, his hand inching towards his neck.

The two of them then proceeded to let out a couple of farts, causing Elizabeth and Luther to lean away and share a look of revulsion.

"Okay," Luther said quickly as he turned around and motioned for the others to follow him, "let's roll."