S3, Chapter 10: Something That Can Be Said, But Difficult To Say

Shizuka: Don't summarize what you have in a simple word like "codependence." Can you honestly pack all of your feelings into just a single word? 

Y/N: No...I can't.

Shizuka: Precisely! (sigh) Giving advice to students isn't new, but giving it to one who's going to be your brother-in-law soon is a big difference.

Y/N: Heh. He finally had the balls to do it. Besides, I won't be able to stand it if it ends with just a single word. Besides, this isn't something that words aren't enough to convey. 

Shizuka: (smiles) You already have the answer inside of you. You just don't know how to let it out. (grabs tissue paper) There's more than one way to do this, L/N.

Y/N: You know, you can call me by my name, right?

Shizuka: R-Right. (clears throat and goes into coat) There are an infinite number ways to express a single word. For example...there are a lot of things I think about you. You're quiet, sometimes foul-mouthed, caring, and a hard worker. But you don't care about most things that I worry about you.

Y/N: (deadpan) You're writing some harsh things.

Shizuka: (grin) And I could write a whole lot more. But...when you put all those together...

Quickly scribbling it out and erasing something to leave some white space, she holds it up in Y/N's face. He knew. The thing Shizuka wrote was "love" in kanji.

Shizuka: "I love you." You know, don't you?

Y/N: (scratches head in embarrassment) Y-Yeah...

Shizuka: To me, you are one of the most amazing students and will soon be a loving brother. In that sense, I am quite fond of you.

Y/N gained a quick grin, Shizuka gaining a smug smile as she wraps Y/N in a headlock, ruffling his hair. Usually, he'd grown annoyed, but Y/N accepted it, giving Shizuka a warm smile.

Shizuka: If you can't solve this in one word, then use all the words you need. If you can't trust words to get the job done, then you can pair them up with actions. You can use any words and take any actions that you like. Let each of them become a dot to connect...until you've managed to form your answer. 

After taking him home, Y/N took a quick shower and was lying down on his bed, looking through different photos that had been taken over the year. Some of them were him having faces of annoyance, but he'd see himself to have the rare smile he would show, especially when he was around Yukino Yukinoshita.

With a sigh, he laid his head down and closed his eyes. A few days from now, or any day for that matter, his answer would determine the climax of their relationship.

---

The day had come and the seniors had officially graduated. The senior classes all had writing on the chalkboard, saying congratulations. It was hard to believe that the senior class were leaving and heading to university.

There was no club to go to, since Yukino didn't want to continue it any longer. And he understood. But, he didn't want to accept it was for something to compensate to give up on. After all, now that it was over, they wouldn't be connected. There wouldn't be a reason for Y/N to keep going to that empty classroom. He had finally found it, just to see that smile, and everything would be okay for the day. And he promised to himself that he wouldn't abandon her or cut any ties with her.

---

Iroha: Can you explain to me what's going on here? Why exactly is there a joint prom project happening that the student council is not involved in?

In the student council room, Zaimokuza, Hatano, and Sagami were looking away. An irritated Iroha, who was putting on a fake smile, along with an irritated vice president were in front of the three. She held her phone up, which showed the site Y/N and the others of their dummy prom.

Sagami: ...I-I plead the fifth.

Iroha: Denied. 

Hatano: (raises hand) I'd like to consult my lawyers.

Iroha: Denied.

Zaimokuza: (attempting to get up from seat) There's a deadline coming up for my manuscript, so...

The vice president prevented from Zaimokuza from leaving, a look of fear on his face as he turned to the student council president. Iroha on the other hand wasn't having it, still keeping on her fake smile as she slammed the table repeatedly.

Iroha: Give me an explanation!

Zaimokuza: ...Hai. 

Sagami: W-Well, you see...we got forced to do all this without warning yesterday...

Hatano: Even though we were told the operations of the dummy prom were finished.

Iroha: "Dummy prom"?

Zaimokuza: Y-You'll have to ask Y/N L/N for the details! (pushes up glasses) We were nothing more than a third party acting in good faith, you know!

Hatano and Sagami: Yeah, yeah!

Iroha: (sigh) There are a list of things I would like to ask him directly...unfortunately, senpai is totally preoccupied at the moment.

In the conference room, Yukino and Shizuka were looking at Y/N, who kept a straight face. Sitting on the couch in front of them, Mrs. Yukinoshita held up her phone with a disapproving look with Haruno next to her, a grin plastered on her face.

Back With Iroha

Iroha: Tch. Since that old hag showed up, that means this is gonna be a huge fiasco. Ugh, I hate that old hag, what is she even here for? What a pain in the ass.

Zaimokuza/Hatano/Sagami: "Old"...

Iroha: Why did senpai go out of his way to do something that's nothing but trouble. I just don't get it. 

Hatano: I agree! I seriously don't get that guy! We told him it would be impossible!

Sagami: But he was like "just spread the info and I'll handle it." I knew the guy had a screw loose. 

Zaimokuza: He even declared it was okay if it was a complete bust...I just don't get it!

The other two boys let out small laughs, Iroha letting out a small "tch." This caught their attention, them shutting up in fear.

Zaimokuza: But he was so desperate for help, it's only natural that we helped him out of sympathy. 

Sagami: Yeah, but then he casually made us redo the whole thing. 

Hatano: When he asked me for three different design patterns I totally thought about killing him. 

Zaimokuza: Yeah, I had no idea why he'd do that. I thought maybe he lost his soul! An ogre! A demon! An editor!

Iroha: Pipe down over there, I'm thinking so please be quiet. (grin) ...I really don't understand. 

Back In The Conference Room

Mrs. Yukinoshita: (sigh) I thought you were a bit more clever than this. This isn't a proper negotiation. I'm not seeing anything you're providing that makes it worth accepting the risk. 

Y/N: Well, yeah, that is true. I wasn't really trying to negotiate with the PTO in the first place. I just want to hold the event without a fuss, so I'm just here to explain it to you. 

Mrs. Yukinoshita: (rubs temple) I don't quite understand why you are doing something like this. 

Yukino: (elbows and whispers to Y/N) What are you planning? 

Y/N: (whisper) For what? 

Giving him her signature glare, Y/N sighed as he prepared to explain.

Y/N: Putting the specifics aside, I think there's a good reason to hold a joint prom. It seemed that some people weren't satisfied with how the previous prom turned out. 

Taking a glance at Haruno, she looked surprised before she smirked at him. Mrs. Yukinoshita looks to her oldest daughter.

Mrs. Yukinoshita: Was there something you found dissatisfying?

Haruno: Not really. Yukino-chan seemed to be satisfied with everything. And you were okay with it, right, mom? Then this isn't my place to voice any complaints. 

Y/N: ...I wasn't satisfied either. 

Mrs. Yukinoshita: (narrows eyes) May I ask why, Y/N? 

Y/N: (smirk) Because, now matter how you think about it, the plan that I came up with is better. It's pretty normal for me to want to know how it turns out if it was actually put on. And even if it did turn out poorly, I'd still see it to the end. If I don't do it, the thing I want to say will stay smoldered in forever. 

Haruno: (laughs) So stupid! You're an idiot! You're going to all this trouble to put on the prom for THAT? How dumb can you get.

Y/N: Pretty dumb, if you ask me. I'm doing this all for entirely my personal reasons, so I don't expect any understanding or support. Fortunately, this plan doesn't have the student council's name attached to it. It's an entirely volunteer-based effort. 

Haruno: (taps finger on table) That won't work out either, will it? The people who crushed your dummy plan and used it to shut up the noisy PTO, were us, you know? Our family will definitely get complaints if this is allowed to happen. 

Mrs. Yukinoshita: That's true. 

Haruno: That means we have a direct stake in this. (looks to Yukino) Besides, the other prom was something that Yukino-chan decided to do on her own and worked hard for it. Even our mother has acknowledged her efforts. Y/N, are you trying to negate that? Do you really understand what it means to get involved in our family matters?

Y/N: Not like it's happened before. You should know, I intend to take full responsibility. 

Yukino looked at Y/N wide-eyed. Haruno's eyes widened slightly, but they relaxed, her grin widened even more.

Haruno: Wow...you ARE an idiot. 

Y/N: Yeah, I know that.

Mrs. Yukinoshita: (small laugh) You should try to make yourself look a little better when you say things like that. Do you honestly think you can do this? 

As Y/N was about to speak, Yukino interrupted him.

Yukino: It's not even worth trying. The budget that we had has been mostly used up, and seeing as how this isn't a student council event, the school won't provide any compensation. And above all else, there's just no time to get it done. It's impossible. 

Mrs. Yukinoshita: Well, you heard her.

Y/N: True, it's impossible for me on my own. Fortunately, I have someone in mind to help out who has experience with running a prom. Of course, I'm talking about Yukino-chan.

Yukino: (stands up) Wh-What!? Wait--

Y/N: Or do you believe that she's not cut out for the job? I believe there weren't any concerns with the last prom, right? 

Mrs. Yukinoshita: (sighs and smiles) No matter how I answer, it seems your conclusion won't change. I appreciate your explanation. If this is a volunteer-run event, then I suppose I can't exert much influence over it as a member of the PTO. 

Haruno: Not as a member of the PTO, but what about as a mother? 

Mrs. Yukinoshita: As a mother, I'm against this. This seems doomed to fail, so I see no benefit to my daughter being involved with it. Which is why Yukino...you should decide. 

Y/N closed his eyes as he grinned. Yukino looked up at her mother, completely shocked.

Mrs. Yukinoshita: You're the one in charge, are you not? 

Y/N: (thoughts) That's right. Yukino has already decided on her answer. 

Yukino: ...I don't even need to think it over. The answer is already obvious. 

Y/N: I'll be honest. I don't have confidence that we can pull this off. On top of being short on time and money and basically everything, I can't guarantee everything. It's a tough problem. You don't have to force yourself. 

Yukino: You're clearly baiting me. 

Y/N: Yeah, so can you take the bait? I know I'm asking for the impossible. (bows and whispers) Please save me.

Yukino: (smile) Sure. I'll take the bait. You know I hate losing. (looks to her mother) As the person in charge, I will get a handle on the situation. 

Mrs. Yukinoshita: (small smile) I see. Yukino...I have said what I should as a mother. If you're still going to do it all the same, then be sure you see it through.

Yukino: (flips hair) You don't have to tell me that. 

Timeskip-Night

Y/N: Sorry to drag you into all this.

Yukino: It was inevitable. There's no way I could have refused in that situation. Seriously, what are you going to do? I don't get this at all.

Both Y/N and Yukino were walking home together, mostly to discuss their plans. She kept a slightly angered look on her face as Y/N trailed behind her.

Yukino: It actually felt terrifying watching my own family get coaxed all along like that. 

Y/N: I wasn't going to do anything of the sort. I'm just terrified about the fact that they back downed. 

Yukino: Good point. Mother and Nee-san definitely aren't the type to give up that easily. ...That look my mother had...it was the same one she has when she looks at Nee-san. 

Y/N: Has she acknowledged you then? 

Yukino: She might have given up on me instead. Why did you say something so absurd?

Y/N: ...It was the only way to stay associated with you.

Yukino: ...Huh?

Y/N: With the club ending, we'll just lose our real place of contact. Sure we'll see each other in the hall sometimes or maybe if we actually attend the dinner parties our families will hold, but that'll probably be the only time. I just couldn't get another excuse to get you to come to me.

Yukino: Why would you do that? What about you? Don't you have a wish?

Y/N: Perhaps I do, maybe not. I said I wouldn't abandon you and I'd always help you, no matter what. I just do want to lose you again, I guess.

Yukino: That may be true, but I'm going to do this. I'm going to get better at doing this!

She goes to walk past him, but Y/N pulls her into a tight hug. Her eyes widened as Y/N kept hugging her tightly.

Y/N: I know it may hurt to hear, but I don't want to lose you again. I thought I nearly lost you again after you left...I was lost. That's why...if I lose you again, I can't grab a hold of you anymore.

He let go as he stared into her blue eyes, tears waiting to come out. He bit his lip as he sighed to himself as he put on an embarrassed look.

Y/N: Saying all that stuff about "taking responsibility" was insufficient. I never had the obligation, but more like I want to take responsibility or rather...I want you to let me have it. I want to remain involved with you. It's not an obligation, but my desire. So, please...allow me the permission of distorting your life.

Yukino: (slight blush) Wh-What do you mean "distort"? What do you mean by that word? 

Y/N: I don't have the influence to change your whole life or anything. Both of us will probably go to university like normal, join the workforce, and go on with our lives. But if we're involved with each other, we'll take detours, stay at a standstill, and things like that, right? That's why, I just want to distort your life a little.

Yukino: (stifled laugh) If that's what you mean, then my life's been distorted for a while now. 

Y/N: (smile) I agree. We were separated once, then met up again. We talked, learned, then separated again, and at each step my life got distorted. 

Yukino: I'm pretty sure we were already distorted from the beginning. 

Y/N: And things will get even more distorted. As long as I keep distorting your life, I intend to pay the price for it. No matter the cost. I basically have no asset, so really the only things I can give you are time, emotions, the future, a life and other vague stuff like that. I'm going to be honest, I'm not living much of a life, and I don't have any prospects for the future. But as long as I'm involved in yours...I have something to give, otherwise it's not fair. So I'll give you everything...anything. So please, let me be involved in your life. 

The red on her cheeks began to increase as Yukino let out small tears. She wasn't sure if she should be happy or sad that Y/N was willing to sacrifice anything. She then buried her face into his chest, Y/N hugging her once more as he rubbed her back.

Yukino: You're wrong...there's no balance to that at all! There's not that much value in the path that I walk to the future. In comparison, you have...

Y/N: That's a relief, then. There's not much value in my life. It's a value that can't get any lower than it already is. 

Yukino: ...You make it sound like a huge scam. (punches Y/N's chest) Learn to present yourself better! Why are you spouting all this stupid stuff that doesn't matter? There's something else you should be saying!

Y/N: I can't say it. Not here. It's something that...that's hard enough to put into words. 

Yukino: ...I think I may be a very tiresome person to deal with. 

Y/N: And I'm tiresome as well. 

Yukino: In any case, I've done nothing but cause you problems. 

Y/N: I've been used to it and it's never turned me away.

Yukino: I'm stubborn, and I'm not very charming. 

Y/N: That's not exactly true. 

Yukino: I feel like I'll only become more useless as I continue to rely on you. 

Y/N: I've been useless, too, and that just means I'll have to become more useless than that. If we're all useless, than no one else is. 

Yukino: And also--!

Y/N: It's fine. 

She turned her head upwards, only seeing a smile on Y/N's face. One of his hands had come up, patting the top of her head.

Y/N: No matter how tiresome. Or how burdensome. I can even say that's a good thing about you.

Yukino: Wh-What? That doesn't make me happy at all!

She kept repeatedly slamming her fist onto Y/N's chest, although it was weak. Slamming it a few more times, her hand rested on his school uniform's tie, her looking away.

Yukino: Th-There's more than that, right? 

Y/N let out a small chuckle, pushing her off slightly before he grabbed her hand, flipping his over before he intertwined his hand with hers. The blush furthered increased on Yukino's face.

Y/N: It may not be enough compensation for distorting your life, but well...I'll give you everything. If you don't want it, then throw it away. If it's annoying, then forget about it. I'm still going to do it regardless. 

Yukino: Well, I'm going to say it clearly.

She stepped back closer, once more burying her face into his chest. She then let her tears out as she clutched Y/N's jacket.

Yukino: Please allow me to have...your life. 

Y/N: (chuckle) That's stiff.

Yukino: I don't know any other way to say it, so deal with it. And don't laugh.

With a small smile, Y/N brought his arms around her again. Hugging her tightly, he rubbed her back as he looked up at the night sky.

Y/N: (thoughts) Dammit...how did I fall in love with a girl like you, Yukino Yukinoshita? I don't deserve you and yet you still captured my heart and still accepted me. Me, a fool who's done nothing but lost a lot...someone who had no purpose. And yet, you're still the same girl that was there all those years again. Damn it...I'm really in love with you...and I'm glad to be in your life.

---

Wow, I was almost crying on writing this chapter. Again, sorry for it being short as a bit of the beginning was with Yui and Hachiman and it was quite lengthy so there wasn't much to adapt there. Anyway, the next chapter will be for the final episode and the confession will take place.

Yeah, I have been evil and the confession had perfect moments on the last two chapters and it could've happened, but I wanted it to be almost like the anime. So, the confession that will happen will take place near the end of the episode and at the time this chapter has been posted, the planning of the next chapter has already taken place.

Thanks for reading up until now. We're so close to the finish line, and this book will then come to an end. It's freaking crazy considering that I started this back in the beginning of October. I amassed so many people reading this with the current reads of the posting of this chapter being 18k reads and 1.2k votes. I just want to say it again. Thank you for reading and I hope that the next chapter will give the finale to season three that you all want and deserve. Until the next chapter.

-okami

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