Probably wasn't expecting this, huh? It's been months since My Ice Cold Queen has finished and yet still many people enjoy this book. Thank you!

But this little chapter is in celebration of My Ice Cold Queen's first anniversary. That's right. Last year on October 3rd, 2020, this book was published and became one of my best written fanfics. The support it had accumulated is something I will always be thankful for. Anyway, onto the OVA chapter that takes place after S1.

---

Hachiman: (thoughts) Marriage. The institution where one's existence goes to die. All married people prattle on about their so-called marital bliss.

The scene had opened up to the home of Hachiman Hikigaya, him sitting at the dining table as his sister, Komachi Hikigaya, is currently cooking the both of them their breakfast. Simultaneously, the scene would change to the L/N apartment.

Itsuki L/N, the oldest of the three L/N siblings was sitting at the dining table, his phone in hand as it was pulled up to the local news article that was released thirty minutes ago. In his other hand is a hot mug of coffee. Over by the stove, humming to herself is Setsuna L/N, the second oldest sibling of the L/N children.

As she continued to cook herself and her siblings breakfast, the youngest L/N sibling had walked in, Y/N L/N. The green-eyed teen yawned as he fixes his bedhead, joining his older brother at the dining table.

Back to the Hikigaya household, Hachiman was staring aimlessly at the wall, continuing his pondering thoughts.

Hachiman: (thoughts) About how saying "I'm home!" to their spouses, or how seeing their sleeping kids motivates them for tomorrow. But think about it. You can say "I'm home!" if you live with your parents. You can even buy mouthwash and say "I'm home!" to the hippos on the label. And if they're talking about seeing their sleeping kids, that just means they're working hellish overtime hours. How is that in any way blissful? They preach the joys of marriage, yet their eyes are as soulless as my own. Just like zombies who drag people into their swamp.

As Hachiman continued to ramble on his thoughts, the younger Hikigaya had finished cooking. Making her way around the table, she sets the plate of food down in front of Hachiman.

Komachi: Here you are!

Hachiman: Hmm?

The eyes dead like a fish boy looks down, seeing an omelet dressed with ketchup on top of it, sliced tomatoes and lettuce, and toasted bread.

Hachiman: Oh, sorry for always troubling you.

Komachi: Onii-chan, you promised me you'd quit saying that.

Hachiman: Uh, I don't like tomatoes.

Komachi: (eats her own tomato slice) That's exactly why I added them.

Hachiman: (sweat drops) Now see here, Komachi...

Komachi: You're way too picky, Onii-chan. When it comes to people or food.

Hachiman: You say that like it's a bad thing. Putting up with things one loathes ends up making everyone miserable.

Komachi: (sigh) I can't imagine you ever getting married.

As she said that sentence, Hachiman, who was drinking a cup of condensed milk, choked on it. He then clears his throat and wipes his mouth of the liquid.

Hachiman: (thoughts) People who grow up in different environments will invariably have different tastes and preferences. Therefore, one could say that the subsequent marriages necessarily lead to happiness?

Hachiman continues to eat his breakfast, stabbing his fork into a piece of the omelet. Taking a bit out of it, some of the ketchup got onto the side of his mouth.

Komachi: (leans up from chair) Got some ketchup on you!

Komachi's brother then groans in annoyance as Komachi had swiped the ketchup off his face. The younger Hikigaya grinned.

Komachi: That one scored high in my book!

Hachiman: Maybe if hadn't said the last part. (thoughts) When it's all said and done, people will have to accept that having a little sister is just as good as being married. If certain merchants included free games with consoles, free little sisters would guarantee more sales.

At the L/N Apartment...

Setsuna/Itsuki: Itadakimasu!

Y/N: (monotone) Itadakimasu.

While the older L/N siblings were bright and cheery, Y/N's voice was more on the monotone side. The older siblings sigh internally, Setsuna then gaining a cheeky smile as she puts both her hands on her face as she looks to her older brother.

Noticing her unusual stare, Itsuki knowing that Setsuna is pondering something, he gulps down his food and lets out an awkward cough.

Itsuki: Wh-What?

Setsuna: You know, Nii-san...

Itsuki: Y-Yeah...?

Setsuna: It occurred to me that you don't have a wife yet. Aren't you at that age, already?

Itsuki: S-So what if I am!? Why do you want to know!? Huh!?

Setsuna: Why are you getting all defensive? Anyway, I propose that you find a wife so me and Y/N can have nieces and nephews!

Itsuki: Huh!? What are you talking about!? (sigh) I swear, you and your crazy ideas. You don't agree with her, right, Y/N?

The older L/N child looks to his younger brother with hopeful eyes. But Y/N didn't bother to look up, his eyes closed as he kept eating and nonchalantly spoke.

Y/N: Gonna be honest, I agree with Nee-san. You are at the age already, so I'm surprised you aren't married yet.

Itsuki: You too!?

Y/N: Why don't you marry Hiratsuka-sensei? She's single too, right? And you two are the same age.

Setsuna: (nods rapidly) I was thinking the same thing too! You should marry Shizuku-chan! You two will have the cutest children ever and I'll spoil my nieces and nephews! Hah!~ Just thinking about it gives me happiness!

Itsuki: (blushes profusely) Sh-Shizuka-chan!? I-I doubt she likes me anyway! I mean, why would she want to date a guy like me!? I mean, I'm so bland, I'm not that great looking, and she doesn't even like me! You guys are so crazy!

The two other L/N siblings drop their heads onto the table in a comically manner, Itsuki getting up and zooming around the two, overly concerned for no reason. One thought ran through Setsuna's and Y/N's mind.

Y/N and Setsuna: (thoughts) ...Idiot.

Next Day, Sobu High School, Service Club Room

Yui: So... "Love Marriage: Chiba Wedding"?

Hachiman: Uh, huh. A special issue on youth and marriage?

Y/N: (deadpan) What the hell kinda idea is this?

It was another school day in Sobu High, the Service Club room having met in their usual clubroom. In their normal spots, although Yukino's seat is closer to Y/N's, Hachiman was pacing around the table with the other three looking at a magazine and a packet of papers showing details for a request by the school.

Hiratsuka was also in the same room as the four.

Hiratsuka: Yeah. They're starting a municipal magazine as part of the whole Chiba revitalization thing. The local government, bridal shops, and hotels with large reception halls are banding together to make marriage more appealing to today's youth.

After reading the document, Y/N leaning next to her to read it as well, Yukino sighed and rubbed her temple in slight annoyance. She wasn't even sure why Hiratsuka had handed them this.

Yukino: So what on earth does this have to do with us?

Y/N: I don't know two shits about marriage.

Hiratsuka: (nervously looking away) Oh, you see... The higher ups wanted this school to help out in some way, and I wound up having to take the lead...

The older woman stopped talking for a moment as she received an unamused stare from Y/N and Yukino giving the teacher her signature ice cold glare. Hachiman was next to pipe up.

Hachiman: Why our school? Or rather, why us?

Hiratsuka: You want a reason? Well... When they tell you to jump, you ask, "How high?" That's the way of the working stiff.

Hachiman: I didn't need to hear that. That was the last thing I needed to hear!

Yukino: (clears throat) What I'm asking is why should we be the ones to do this?

Yui: Oh yeah. (looks to Hiratsuka) Wasn't this supposed to be your job in the first place?

Hiratsuka: I-I know! But... I'm totally clueless when it comes to marriage!

The older woman then crouches down, holding a cup of coffee as she began to weep. The four members of the Service Club only sweat drop as they give her looks of pity.

Hiratsuka: (sniffle) I... All I wanted...

Hachiman: (thoughts) Dear God, will somebody please take her? At this rate, that somebody will have to be me!

Y/N: (thoughts) ...Nii-san, just marry this poor woman already.

Yui: Yukinon...

The orange-haired girl of the group gives the Ice Queen of Sobu a pleading look. She looked to Y/N for advice, the green-eyed teen noticing her gaze. He simply shrugs and leans back in his chair, propping his feet up on the table. Yukino sighs as she has no other choice but to help.

Yukino: (stands up) We're no experts on the matter either, but we'll help you anyway.

Hiratsuka: (nods with a sad look) Thank you.

Timeskip

After calming down, Hiratsuka joins the four at the table. With his head propped up on his hand, Y/N was staring down at the details of the request with Yui and Yukino. Hachiman had leaned back in his chair.

Yui: Where do we even start?

Hachiman: All we have to do is fill those pages with a bunch of stuff.

Y/N: Seems simple enough.

Hachiman: Ah, we can even sell the pages to vendors as ad space. There's no work and we get paid. It's perfect.

Hiratsuka: Hikigaya, we can't do that!

Y/N: I'm pretty sure the deadline is the main concern here.

Yukino: How much time do we have?

Hiratsuka: It goes to press next week. That means we have a week to submit a proofread copy.

Y/N: What the hell kind of time is that? That's hardly any time at all.

Hiratsuka: (sigh) A lot of these projects are put off till the last minute. Especially unwanted projects.

Yui: Ah, I sort of get that!

Y/N: Then how about writing a bunch of fake articles?

Yukino: Yes, but creating walls of text will still take too much time. I never thought I'd hear a suggestion like that come from you, Y/N. In fact, that's something I'd more likely hear from Hikigay-kun himself.

Hachiman: (visible tick mark) Oi...

Y/N: (yawn) Well, you were asking for ideas, so I gave one. I just want to hurry this up and head home and sleep.

Hachiman: How about fudging with the graphic layouts?

Yukino: That would work if we had the time and the expertise. Plus, do you think our amateurish graphics can carry these pages?

Hachiman: We can use past templates. Just toss a few of them in, then fill out the margins with text.

Y/N: (sigh) For cutting corners, you make a stupid savant, dumbass.

Seeing the three argue back and forth, Yui tugs on Hiratsuka's coat, who leans her ear to Yuigahama's level.

Yui: (whisper) Hiratsuka-sensei, they're starting to scare me.

Hiratsuka: (grins and whispers) Which makes them all the more reliable. Not that anyone would guess that those three are in high school.

Hachiman: You mean when it comes to being efficient?

Yukino: You're still overruled. They ordered articles written by high schoolers.

Hachiman: Then they've got a real problem, since neither of us thinks like a normal high school student.

Yukino: (sigh) Indeed, we don't.

Hiratsuka: People usually begin by pitching ideas for articles! Who on earth would start off by arguing over how to fill the space?

Y/N: Sensei, you're asking students who tend to argue and another student who isn't the best at giving at the brightest ideas.

Hiratsuka: And which one do you fall into?

Y/N: Hmm? Me? The type that wants to sleep all day and play with the cats.

Looking away, Yukino begins to day dream. Just the thought of the L/N boy sleeping and cuddling with the cats looked adorable in her mind. In fact, she was already beginning to have a light blush on her face and a bit of a nosebleed.

Hachiman Hikigaya then looks to the only person in the room who hadn't pitched an idea.

Hachiman: Yuigahama. You need to put that average brain of yours to work.

Yui: I don't like the way you said that!

Yukino: (refocuses) Yuigahama-san, will you help us?

Yui: (thoughts) ...I wish she'd pick a better time to ask a favor!

Small Timeskip

After a short while, the Service Club members were still in their seats. Both Y/N and Yui had their heads leaned forward, eyes closed as they crossed their arms. While all of them were trying to think of ideas, Yui was struggling the most. The orange-haired girl kept going into different thinking positions, trying to put her brain to work.

In some instances, she started to balance her pencil on her nose. It wasn't until a few minutes later that she gave up, her head lying face down onto the table. Seconds after that, she quickly sat up, prompting her fist onto her other palm.

Yui: Maybe have people design wedding dresses!

Y/N: (mutters) Hmm...if I put Saki to the task, could she do it? Nee-san could probably do it, too...

Hachiman: There aren't many people who can manage even a rough sketch.

Yui: Okay, what about...a wedding dress contest! Or something?

Yukino: We don't have enough time to solicit contestants, much less plan the whole thing.

Yui: I don't get the whole marriage thing. It's like it doesn't seem real to me.

Hachiman: Well, we're not supposed to be old enough to even think about it.

Hiratsuka: True. I know I never thought about it when I was your age.

Both Yui and Hachiman sweat drop at her response. But thanks to her response, Y/N and Yukino seemed to have an idea.

Yukino: "Thought about it."

Hachiman: Huh?

Y/N: Think about it. The thought that no one has even thought about marriage could give as a valid research question.

Yui: You're right! If we did a survey or something, that might be neat!

Yukino: There's no time to do the whole school or even a single grade, so we might have to limit ourselves to one class.

Yui: (nods repeatedly)

Hachiman: That won't give us much of a sample size.

Yui: (nods repeatedly)

Yukino: We have no choice on the matter. If we hammer out pages around that topic and add columns and such, it'll give us a workable product.

Yui: (nods repeatedly) Then all that's left is to think of the survey questions!

Hiratsuka: How about we fill out some here before asking other students?

Small Timeskip

With their current plan of action, Hiratsuka and the four club members began to write down questions and answers. Shortly after, they finished.

Hiratsuka: Okay, let's see what we've got. Q: How much money should your spouse make? A: Ten million yen or more.

Yui/Y/N/Yukino: Hikky/Hikigaya/Hikigaya-kun.

Hachiman: (stands up) Wait a minute! How did you know it was me?

Yui: We can tell by your handwriting!

Y/N: And you're the only one dumb enough to write a question and answer like that.

Yukino: Does he really think he's worth that amount of money? He has no friends, he's turned bleakness into a science, and his employment and future prospects are shaky at best. On top of that, he has the eyes of a dead fish.

Hachiman: Buzz off. The world is crawling with idiots who would give pretty much the same answer.

Hiratsuka: Geh! (nervously laughs) Well, duh! It's better to aim high, I always say! Mm-hmm!

Y/N: Huh? When did you ever say that? As far as I'm concerned, your answer is to always end up punching kids in the stomach.

Hiratsuka: (cracks knuckles) Are you looking to die, brat?

Y/N: ...I retract my previous statement.

Hiratsuka: Anyway, we have our questions. Let's get our samples!

Yui: Yeah!

Timeskip

Y/N, Hachiman, Yukino, and Hiratsuka were the only ones who remained in the clubroom. After a bit of time had passed, Yui walked back into the room.

Yui: I got people who were still at school to fill out some surveys!

Yukino: (pouring tea) Thank you. I feel bad for having you do this for us.

Yui: No, it's totally fine. It looked like the only people still here are from our class.

Hachiman: Plus, people wouldn't cooperate if I were the one asking.

Y/N: And there's too many fan girls out there, it's insane.

Yukino: (mutters) Tsk. I'll beat those skanks.

Y/N: Hmm? Did you say something?

Yukino: ...No. Nothing of the sorts.

Y/N: (looks to Hachiman) And to answer your reasoning, most people would think that you're some kind of cult leader or a shady salesman.

Hachiman: Got that right. I'm such a charismatic non-conformist it's scary.

Hiratsuka: It's scary because I can actually see you turning into a cult leader.

Yui: Anyway, why don't we take a look?

Putting the stack of papers onto the table, the others began to look at the responses. There were some...interesting answers to say the least. For example...

Zaimokuza: (voice over) I want to marry a seiyuu.

Just by looking at one of the sheets, they could tell it belonged to Zaimokuza. After all, there was no other geek who would put that down on the survey.

Hachiman: Okay... Moving on. Wait, he isn't even in our class!

Next question, "Do you have any misgivings about marriage?"

Yumiko: (voice over) I'm seriously not cooking. And I'm not cleaning either.

Saki: (voice over) What my mother-in-law will be like and whether I'll be moving in with her. Plus my inheritance. Since I have a lot of siblings. And I'd rather not burden my cousins.

Y/N: Yeah, that's Saki alright. (sigh) All she has to do is ask. We're always happy to help out. (looks at next response) What...

Hina: (voice over) I'm worried about the HayaxHachi coupling! No, I worry about the Y/NxHaya coupling even more!

Y/N: (blank look) ...Burn that one.

Hachiman: It's pretty easy to tell who wrote that.

Yui: Well, it is our class.

Yukino: Should we even publish these?

Y/N: (shrug) It's better than nothing.

Yui: Still, it's not all that surprising since they don't know what married life is like. So unless they were actually married, they wouldn't have all the right answers.

Yukino: If there were a teen who was going through a similar experience, she might have a better idea.

Yui: You think so?

Yukino: (mocking smile) Of course. When it comes to performing the thankless job of taking care of useless deadweight, I would presume that she would be quite the expert.

Hachiman: (thoughts) Huh? She knows someone like that? Does she really? She'd be the perfect person to support me! She'd better hook me up with her. It'll be like hitting the ultimate jackpot.

A grin made it's way to Hachiman's face. Y/N saw this and looked to Yukino, knowing what she was planning. Looking the other way, he sighed.

Y/N: ...Dumbass.

Timeskip

Hachiman: (thoughts) ...Or so I thought. (normal) So, why Komachi?

The supposed expert that Yukino had called in was actually Hachiman's own sister, Komachi. Right now, the Ice Queen of Sobu stood next to the younger Hikigaya, who was standing there with a huge grin on her face, her hands on her hips.

Yukino: Didn't you hear me say "a girl who takes care of useless deadweight"?

Komachi: Yahello! Can I take a peak at the marriage surveys you got back?

Y/N: Here. They're all spread out on the table.

Komachi marches towards the table and leans down, a finger on her chin as she begins to examine each and every one of them.

Komachi: Okay, I'm getting a good picture of what people are most concerned about.

Yui: But I'm not sure about how to proceed with that insight.

Yukino: Of course we can't publish these as is. If you have any other ideas, we wish to hear them.

She seemed to have nodded her head a little bit before she jerked her head up. The others look at her both weirdly and confused.

Komachi: Komachi Light Bulb! (grabs chalk and writes on chalk board) First off, everybody's wife points are too depressingly low! We need to raise your wife points!

(A/N): I digress, Komachi-san. I believe Yukino's wife points have been maxed out already... What I say has no opinion, right? In fact, they can't hear me anyway, so it doesn't even matter...eh, whatever.

Y/N: ...Huh?

Hachiman: (confused) What are "wife points"?

Komachi: Don't sweat the small stuff. We just need to focus the whole project on what it takes to be a better wife!

Hiratsuka: Ah, so it's basically a bridal crash course.

Komachi: Ooh, awesome phrasing! Komachi likes!

A bridal crash course, lessons on how to be a better wife. Yukino took a small glance to Y/N, her thumb right under her chin as she was in a thinking position. If anything, Yukino would love nothing more to be the wife of the youngest L/N. She's had a huge crush on him since childhood.

Y/N quickly notices Yukino staring at him, the blue-eyed girl noticing it quickly as she turned the other way. Y/N tilts his head in slight confusion.

Komachi: Let's get on with the bridal crash course! The Thrilling Wife Points Contest!

As Yui and Komachi yell in a cheery attitude, Hachiman looks at his sister with confusion, especially considering the situation they were now in.

Hachiman: ...Seriously, what the heck are "wife points"?

Timeskip-Kitchen

Komachi: First, we're going to have a cook-off! Judges, are you ready?

Sitting at a table off to the side were the judges. Hachiman, Zaimokuza, Saika, Y/N, and the most unexpected one, Y/N's older brother, Itsuki. With a dumbfounded look, Itsuki raised his hand.

Itsuki: Um, Komachi-san?

Komachi: Hai, Itsuki-san!

Itsuki: ...What am I doing here again?

Komachi: Hmm? Oh! I needed more judges, so I asked Y/N-san to get you over!

Itsuki: (looks to Y/N) You called me over here for just that!? Are you kidding me!?

Y/N: What? It's as Nee-san said yesterday. It's time we find you a--

Itsuki: (zooms over to Y/N and covers his mouth) I will pay you 10,000 yen! No, double, no triple that if you keep your mouth shut about the discussion from yesterday!

Y/N: ...You've got yourself a deal.

Hiratsuka: What discussion?

Itsuki: I-It's nothing, Sh-Shizuka-chan!

Hiratsuka: Itsuki, you okay? Your face is kinda red. You sure you don't have a fever?

Itsuki: Y-Yep! I'm raring to go!

Hiratsuka: O-Okay...? If you say so...

Y/N: (thoughts) Nii-san...just marry this poor woman.

After a short while, the judges were seated at a round table. The judges were Y/N, Itsuki, Hachiman, Saika, and Zaimokuza.

Saika: (shyly) I have no idea why I was called here, but good luck, everybody!

Zaimokuza: Umu! My current imaginary setting has a completely esoteric plot that only adds depth to it. I approve! This master swordsman-shogun will gladly take up this post!

Y/N: And I'm starting to regret recruiting you for this... (sigh) I still don't understand why I'm a judge.

Yukino: Because I asked you to do so, Y/N.

Y/N: Yeah, yeah.

Itsuki: (thoughts) Eh? It's a cook-off? Does that mean...Shizuka-chan is going to be cooking for me? No!!! This is wrong! She's not my wife yet! 

Hachiman: (whispers to Komachi) Shouldn't Totsuka be over there? You know, with the other contestan--

Komachi: The first challenge is recreating mom's home cooking for your man! First batter up is Yui-san!

The three contestants were the three females of the school. Shizuka Hiratsuka, Yukino Yukinoshita, and Yui Yuigahama, Komachi being the announcer. Upon hearing her name, Yuigahama straightened herself in nervousness.

Komachi: (reads note card in hand) So what do we have here? 

Yui: Japanese hamburg steak!

She set the dish and took the top off, revealing the dish...if that's what you can call it. The five boys leaned forward slightly to examine the "dish."

The "hamburg steak" was burnt on both sides, along with some chopped up broccoli, mushrooms, and potatoes. There seemed to be a sauce to go with it as well. However, the boys were hesitant to eat it, especially Y/N and Hachiman as they recalled their experience with her cookies. It wasn't until the four boys look to Zaimokuza, who was now harping away.

Zaimokuza: Gollum, Gollum! Who gives a happy Nanjorno!? Like I've always said, never judge a book by it's cover!

The glasses otaku was the first to take a bite. Taking his chopsticks, he sticks it into the dish and takes a piece, picking it up and bringing it to his face to get a more closer examination.

Zaimokuza: Perhaps these victuals, too, contain a hidden brilliance. 

He sniffs it and then opens his mouth, chucking it in. Zaimokuza chews on it for a bit before his eyes widen.

Zaimokuza: This is... Death!

And like from before with her cookies, it seems Zaimokuza had suffered damage. The glasses otaku falls face first onto the table, him seemingly have died. The others stare at him in disbelief and shocked looks.

Komachi: Uh, since that eighth grader has passed out, next we have...my brother.

Hachiman: Eh!?

Yui: Hikky, you don't have to eat it.

Even though she said that, Hachiman still felt like he had an obligation to eat the dish in front of him. But he was scared he'd suffer the same fate as the glasses otaku. Saika leaned forward for a bit and looked at him.

Saika: (smiles) Hachiman, what's wrong? 

Hachiman: (thoughts) God, I don't want to lose that smile. So I can't let Totsuka eat this thing!

Gritting his teeth and grabbing his chopsticks, Hachiman began to scarf it down, surprising Yui and everyone else. Yui smiled slightly as she held her hands to her chest, Hachiman setting the chopsticks onto the plate.

Hachiman: (clears throat) I guess... It's somewhat edible once you've prepared for the worst. 

Yui: Tell it to me straight!

Komachi: Next, we have Yukino-san! Tell us what you made!

Yukino: I made paella.

Revealing her own dish, the boys marveled at the sight. With yellow rice as the base, it was topped off with clams and mussels on the side, shrimps, and small bits of other vegetables. In the middle was half an egg, a single strand of cilantro on the egg yolk. 

Yui: (impressed) Ooh, Italian food!

Yukino: Paella is Spanish cuisine. 

Yui: Eh? But I had some at Saize...

Saika: (amazed) Yukinoshita-san, you're really good at cooking!

Yukino: It's nothing special. It just takes practice. 

Hachiman: It's oddly good enough to put me at a loss for words.

The Yukinoshita girl's eyes then lingered on over to Y/N, his green orbs focused on the dish. She watched carefully as he took some with his chopsticks and shoveled some into his mouth.

She was nervous. Nervous of what Y/N would think. She hid her nervous expression well, so the others couldn't really see. Y/N munched on his portion for a bit before he let out a satisfied gulp. His eyes then meet Yukino's, him looking away as he blush a bit and scratched his cheek.

Y/N: It's, uh...you know...good. Um, thanks for that.

Yukino: (quietly) ...Y-You're welcome.

Komachi: Next up is me! Here's your nikujaga!

Next, presenting her own dish, Komachi puts hers on the table. Taking off the top, the dish was put together with potatoes, string beans, and carrots, along with strips of pork. The presentation was good so far.

The boys tried, excluding Zaimokuza who seemingly looks dead, taking their time on it. Hachiman responded in a casual manner, since Komachi is usually the one who cooks the food at their place. Itsuki and Y/N give their praises, but felt that Yukino's was a bit better. Saika admits it's delicious, as when he said the same thing with Yukino's. He didn't want to make it seem which one was better, so he stayed neutral.

And finally, it was time for the last person.

Komachi: Last, but certainly not least, Hiratsuka-sensei! What food have you made for us?

Hiratsuka: (chuckles and grins) This!

Hachiman: Th-That's stir-fried meat and bean sprouts covered in meat sauce?

Yukino: (skeptical) Is that something people cook?

Hiratsuka: What do you think, Hikigaya, L/N, Itsuki-san?

Both Y/N and Hachiman were shocked that she was able to cook something this good, but their stares went on over to Itsuki. He had been silent this entire time.

Y/N was about to ask his brother what was wrong, him jumping slightly. Itsuki let out an excited scream, getting on top of the table as he held the dish up into the air.

Itsuki: This dish...! This dish is the best there is! The meat is so tender! The meat sauce has just the right amount of taste, and everything about it amazing! This dish is the best! Shizuka-chan! You'd make an excellent wife!

Silence enveloped the room, shortly after Itsuki falling over as he mentally wanted to die. Shizuka had to process the words herself as she began to stutter, a dreamy look on her face as she blushed a bit. 

Timeskip

Komachi: Now, next up on our program, we have... The Bridal Quiz! What would you do? You all need to imagine yourselves as wives and answer these questions. First questions is...what are you doing there?

Off to the side were Saika and Y/N, who was looking after his older brother, who was mentally breaking down at his proclamation. At the front of the room were the four girls, excluding Komachi. However, there was one more person joining them.

Hachiman: I plan to be a stay-at-home husband. 

Saika: Hachiman, good luck!

Y/N: I hope you lose. 

Hachiman: Piss off, L/N!

Komachi: Whatever. Here we go! First question! "What would you do if your mother-in-law criticizes your housekeeping?" Write your answers on your flip boards!

The four people began to ponder and write down their answers. Off to the side, the bystanders, Saika and Y/N had their own mixed looks. Saika was a bit interested while Y/N was just bored, as per usual. Although, he did wonder what his mother would say to Yukino about this topic. In fact, his mother did tease them when they were together when they were much younger.

Komachi: All right, times up! Okay, all together now!

Yui: "Apologize and do it over."

Yukino: "Thoroughly explain how my housekeeping methods are perfectly reasonable."

Hiratsuka: "Let my fists do the talking."

Hachiman: "Add too much seasoning to the miso soup."

Y/N: Huh? What the hell kind of answer is that? 

Komachi: Hmm. Those are very distinctive responses. I'm afraid my brother and Hiratsuka-sensei are out. 

Y/N: "Let my fists do the talking"? Yeah, sounds about right.

Hiratsuka: Wanna say that again, brat?

Y/N: I didn't say anything.

Komachi: Here's what a Komachi answer would be! "I'd complain to my own mother but try again tomorrow!"

Yui: That's actually...realistic. 

Y/N: Hmm...so the dumb girl can tell what's realistic and what's not realistic, huh?

Yui: I-I'm not dumb, L/N-san!

Komachi: Let's keep moving! Here's your next question! "Tomorrow's Christmas! But your good-for-nothing husband didn't save up enough for this month."

Yukino: Wow, sounds like someone I know.

Y/N: Hmm. It does, really.

Yui: Me, too.

Hiratsuka: You'll find those men lurking everywhere. Can you call the women who stand by those lowlifes good wives? 

Komachi: I'm not finished! "Face with that situation, what'll you do for your kids' presents?"

The word "kids" rang through Yukino's mind. Of course, it was quite obvious to the L/N siblings, except for Y/N, and a few others in the room, that Yukino is indeed in love with the youngest L/N. While she has fantasized about him in certain situations, the thought of kids wasn't one of them, leaving her to day dream what her future would be like if she did have kids with the L/N boy.

Komachi: Time's up! Let's see those answers!

Yui: "Cheap toys!"

Yukino: "B-Books." (quietly) And showing them lots of love with Y/N...

Y/N: Hmm?

Yukino: N-Nothing!

Hiratsuka: "A classic anime's Blu-Ray box set!"

Hachiman: "Just tell them they were on Santa's naughty list."

Y/N: (deadpan) You really are despicable. Not even I would do that.

Hachiman: Piss off!

Komachi: Oh, guys! You didn't listen carefully! The heart of the question is how you will resolve that situation.

Y/N: Which is?

Komachi: That means the right answer is... This! "Let their grandparents take care of it!"

Yukino: (puzzled) Is that a good idea?

Y/N: Well...it's not entirely the wrong answer.

Komachi: Of course it is! Grandmas and grandpas live to spoil their grandkids rotten! Take it from me!

Hachiman: Can't argue with that. Though they tend to spoil the younger sibling a lot. 

Hiratsuka: (chuckle) It's tough being the oldest.

Y/N: Your life must be a sad sack of shit, then.

Hachiman: Shut up.

Komachi: Let's hear what our judges Totsuka and Y/N-san think about the responses. 

Saika: I think receiving a book as presents is wonderful!

Y/N: (picking at fingernails) They were fine, I guess.

Komachi: Thank you very much! Now here's your last question! "Your husband has been coming home later and later. What if he's cheating? What do you do?" Write your answers on your flip boards!

Once again, Yukino was left to ponder to her thoughts. Hypothetical, if Y/N were her husband (which he will be), she wondered what she'd do if she found out he was cheating on her. She gained a visible tick mark, sending a glare Y/N's way, which he looked mighty confused as to why she was glaring at him.

Popping off the cap on her marker, she began to write multiple answers. Komachi then tells them to stop.

Komachi: Now show me those answers! 

Yui: "I don't know."

Yukino: "Burn him. Castrate him. Torture him. Hunt him down. Toss him and his bed outside the house. Leave him to the wolves. Make him suffer as much as possible."

Y/N: ...Eh? Eh!? Then why were you looking at me!?

Yukino: Sit down and be quiet. 

Y/N: ...H-Hai. (thoughts) The hell? When did she get so scary? And something tells me not to do anything terrible in the future.

Hiratsuka: "The Iron Fists of Justice!"

Hachiman: "Divorce him, take half of what he owns plus alimony."

Komachi: (nods multiple times) Oh, so I see. 

Hachiman: (looks to Yukino's board) What the hell? Now you're scaring me. 

Yukino: Ara?~ I think I meant to add some more. These were just half the answers I was thinking.

Y/N: There's more!? 

Yukino: (smiles "innocently") But I believe that no matter how much more I put, it's all the same difference. 

It was this moment, Y/N began to feel a bit more of fear for the Yukinoshita girl. He wondered who the unlucky guy would be that would marry her. Oh how much of a surprise he'd be in once he finds out what'll happen in the future.

Everyone soon backs up away from Yukino, the smile she kept on was creeping them out.

Komachi: I think everyone except my brother has the right idea. But the right Komachi answer is this! "Believe in him!" I think this scores high in my book!

Yukino/Yui/Hiratsuka: Oooohhh!

Hachiman: You sure about that?

Komachi: Hmm... My ideal man would be one who's not likely to stray, someone serious and honest to a fault. He'd also be a Mr. Crabby Shy Pants, so I wouldn't worry too much. 

Hachiman: Does that guy even exist? 

Komachi: (grin) He's a lot more real than you think. 

Knowing he wasn't going to get an answer, Hachiman simply sighed.

They were now onto the final round. The room was dark, until a spotlight turned on and it shined down on Komachi, revealing her to wearing a bride's dress.

Komachi: The Happy Blushing Bride Runway Show! And your host, Komachi is dressed for the occasion! Onii-chan! Lookatme! Lookatme!

Hachiman: (nonchalant) Hai, hai. You're the cutest thing ever.

Komachi: (disgusted) There's his patented handwave response.

Y/N: Siscon, huh?

Hachiman: Shut up!

Itsuki: Wait, wedding dresses...it can't be!?

Komachi: Whatevs! We'll start with Yui!

And just like that, another spotlight went on, the door of the Service Club room opening. Stumbling into the room and awkwardly getting onto the podium, the orange-haired girl was dressed in a pink wedding dress, her wearing a large pink bow with a small hot pink top hat. Her hair was also put into a bun on the side.

Yui: (awkwardly shaking) Um, Komachi-chan, where did you get these?

Komachi: That's classified! Next, we have Yukino-san!

Yukino: Why am I doing this?

Despite being displeased, she did admit to herself that the dress looked good. Y/N was in the dark, Yukino unable to see him. In his situation, it benefited him.

He wasn't going to lie, Yukino was a pretty and good looking girl. That was the truth. But at the current moment, he was awestruck. She wore a pure white dress with white gloves on, a white veil over her head that covered her face. Soon, a spotlight turned on over the L/N boy, him jumping slightly as he looks back to Yukino.

Now, her full attention was on him, the two now blushing. Yukino was only blushing because Y/N could see her in such a dress, she thinks it's embarrassing towards him. But no, that wasn't the case. Y/N is just completely in awe over how pretty the Yukinoshita girl is that he can't even describe how good she looked. Yukino could see Y/N was stuttering with his words, him looking away, but his eyes always coming back to her as he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

Komachi: And last we have...Hiratsuka-sensei!

The Service Club door opened once more as Shizuka walked in. Now, all eyes were on her. The older woman was wearing lipstick, something that surprised the students as it was the first time they saw her wear such a thing. Hell, even the dress was a surprise. 

They were all surprised that they didn't even realize that the woman who walked in with a pink flower bouquet was their own teacher. Itsuki couldn't even believe it, his eyes not leaving the woman. If anything that Itsuki has noted, the dress really showed Hiratsuka's curves. Shizuka then shyly looks towards Itsuki.

Hiratsuka: Wh-What do you think, I-Itsuki-san? 

But the blush on Itsuki's face was too much. The amount of visual information he was trying to process overloaded him, blood exploding out of his nose as he falls backwards with a content smile.

Hiratsuka: E-Eh!? Itsuki-san!?

Y/N: (thoughts) Holy shit...he's finally kicked the bucket.

Timeskip

Komachi: The results are in!

Y/N and Hachiman: (monotone) Yay.

Hiratsuka/Yui/Yukino: (unenthusiastic) Yay.

(A/N): Keep in mind, Itsuki is still passed out.

Komachi: Ahem. Aww, every one of you failed miserably. Which means the winner is Kom...

The younger Hikigaya stopped herself as she was met with a menacing glare from Hiratsuka. With Shizuka's glare intensifying, Komachi finally collapsed.

Komachi: Th-The winner is... Hiratsuka-sensei!

Hiratsuka: Ah!~ Yes!~ (laughs) I can't believe I won! I think I'm starting to hear real wedding bells!

Y/N, Yukino, and Yui were giving applause to the older woman, Hachiman off to the side as he was consoling his little sister. Itsuki remained on the floor, essentially dead. 

Well, it seemed that the event had went off without hitch...sort of. 

Although Y/N couldn't wonder what his future would have and store for him. And most importantly, why was it Yukino Yukinoshita most prevalent on the path towards his future. Only time would tell.