word count: 2211

status: edited

Ponyboy's POV
I had never been down this route before. The pitch dark soil caught in my shoes, but I still kept my pace with Johnny. My heart was hastening as we skimmed down a smaller trail of bushes that led to a pack of cargo trains lined up on the rails. The night was pursuingus in the dark, tantalizing our feet and forcing heat in our lungs like rapid waves of catching your breath.

As soon as we swifted past the men beaming their flashlights around, Johnny pulled himself up after me, panting for air as we snook inside on our throbbing feet. My mouth was dry from the hot midnight air, and our bodies were close in a spooning heat against the wall of the freight. His dark umber eyes darted to me at the sound of leaves shuffling; he was still so alert. Johnny tugged on the seams of my coat, shoving me behind the open entry where the moonlight leaked in.

Suddenly his jet dark locks blended with the darkness of the freight, his palpable eyes coming close again. I wasn't new to this engagement, this heavy thump in my chest as we got on our rears and sat down, not bothering to separate an inch apart.

"That was close." he muttered. I could hear a note of relief in his whisper clear as day, watching as the flicker of lights died in the distance outside of the freight. I shuddered at the touch of Johnny's hand on my shoulder pulling me back in. "Not yet." he whispered again, not seeming to notice that my hand was loosely grasping his fingers.

"Johnny..." my voice hung in the air, realizing Dally's gun was slipping out of his pocket.

He tugged me back close, as if to make sure I was there and not still gazing outside. At the look of my cautionary eyes, he glanced down and pressed the gun back into his jeans, causing it to stick out of the material. "You tired?" he voiced, the soft words like a feather on my cheek.

I couldn't dodge the question, I knew I was tired from the moment I sat beside Johnny on the freight. The moment I ducked my head out into the moonlight, I knew I couldn't be any more worried or scared sick than the feeling I held in my stomach after my eyes met with a pool of blood. This sick feeling, this drained and cold feeling. Johnny killed him. Johnny really killed him, all over a fountain, all in one night, all in a few minutes.

Soon I would probably be back home, getting interrogated. Darry and Soda would be home to remind me I was still a kid, that I was going to grow up one day and write about sunsets perhaps. I could feel the ice packets seizing my skin with a frosty bite as Soda's hand grazed through my hair, his dreamy voice capturing every word I had missed since I had left.

"This is temporary..." I turned around to Johnny. "Right?"

His raven bangs curled close to his eyebrows as his eyes filled with this look I had never seen before. Johnny gave a soft, harmless nod. "It's okay." he whispered, quiet again, like a hush. I felt myself doze off, as much as I didn't want to give in to sleep.

"Are we sleeping here?" I muttered, bending my head into the wall.

"Yeah." Johnny cleared, bringing my head away from the hard metal. "It'll do you no good in staying up the whole night. You blacked out, Pony."

In part, it was like Johnny allowed me to give in, to rest, to lull me down and be my pillar. What was rest going to feel like without my brothers? What was I going to dream about with Johnny beside me, and what about if he gets tired and we dream in unison?

"Relax now." he laced an arm around my neck, patting my head down on his shoulder. "We'll be there soon."

"Hm..." I groaned half-consciously, picking up the lingering smell of the fountain water in my hair. Two-halves of a minute passed and I stretched my limbs to adjust, but my hand crossed Johnny's knee.

My breath caught in my throat when I recognized that my hand skimmed over his pants, secretly
flustered with myself. Nobody was to blame as long as we laid in the dark. As far as Johnny was concerned, my eyes were still shut, and I was passed out.

A cold wind swept in and slashed my skin, and soon I felt Johnny bury his face into my neck. I nestled close too, tilting my chin over his head. He caught my fingers in his own, our breathing drifting slowly.

This glowing, vibrant feeling hit my stomach when we stayed this way as the sunlight washed in. My eyelids twitched open to see Johnny's fingers still brushed on mine. Then the feeling. In my stomach. It was not a sick feeling. Not like anything.

"Johnny.." I uttered, barely above a whisper.

Dark cinnamon eyes slowly fluttered open to meet mine, like the world was warm and beautiful once again. "Morning there..." He let out a small sigh, trying to sir out the drowsiness in his eyes, then he got out a small noise. "Are we...?" he shot a glance at me with furrowed brows.

"I'm still tired too. But it's best if we leave now-"

"Were we holding hands?"

I refrained, peeling off my palm from his hand reluctantly. "I... yeah. You were still sleeping so I didn't try to wake you..."

Johnny paused. "Did I say anything to you last night?"

"No? We both fell asleep." I shook my head.

"Okay..." he respired, as if he was immensely relieved from something that never happened. Meanwhile, I was coming up with mental notes in my head of his face in the morning. The look in his now disturbed eyes was reminding me we needed to move from our spot.

"We should go." I speculated outside the freight, bringing the both of us to our feet as we hopped off to the open, grassy dunes.

"Before we ever get caught... I just have one thing I need you to know..." Johnny's legs shuffled closer to me, but then we heard rustling in the leaves.

Before Johnny could trail on again, I grabbed his hand and pulled him up. "Come on..." I muttered, dragging him down despite our fatigued muscles.

We hastened out of the sight of railroad tracks, thankfully past any view of strangers or traveling men. As we made it to the plains where the abandoned church sat, Johnny gave me this desperate look as I walked up to him. I tightened my grip on his hand, giving all I had to smile.

He glanced down at our twined hands and locked them some more, our fingers suddenly attached to each other. My heart swelled.

"I'll walk you up there, you get some sleep. I'm getting supplies." he said, his eyes crossing mine. "You claim territory first."

"Okay." I answered, letting him take the reins. In retrospect, if I wasn't tired, I would have been more eager to accompany him for scouting supplies. But this was the effort I could give at the moment.

Johnny and I scavenged inside, taking all the critters, dust and tattered wood as a sign we should stick in one spot. Then as we found a close-knitted spot, he offered me to lay with him.

"I thought you were getting supplies."

"There's no rush... just... lay with me." he gave a soft command, but I knew he wasn't dismissing my idea.

I did so, positioning my body down by Johnny's chest. It was quiet, gentle, and his demeanor was awfully calm while I had focused on getting material before we got swept away by time.

Then I shut my eyes and turned on my side, somewhat aware that from behind, Johnny laid a hand on my arm. It didn't bother me to feel something regularly friendly and intimate. I had no objections being close to Johnny.

"We'll be okay, Ponyboy..." he sensed, rubbing my arm. I didn't abandon this feeling of his touch in my head, for as long as we were there. This connection left ripples of butterflies in my stomach, this yearning but also this tenderness.

I turned my body around to face Johnny, and his hand shifted as soon as his eyes opened when he detected I was there. My desperate reach for words didn't take me far as I thought them through.

His dark cocoa eyes took me in, probably scoping for a sign of worry or utter shock. Instead, the stillness in his face was so peaceful, and I found so much out about what I felt, even feelings I didn't know were there. My eyes wandered over his sun kissed skin, the rose-pink tint of his lips, and the smoothness of his hair.

"You're safe." Johnny whispered, stroking the sleeve of my arm as I felt a slight tug. "Nothing's gonna hurt you now."

I simply smiled. "I can't tell if this is the place or not to say this to you, but..."

"Say anything at all. This is the place." Johnny smiled back faintly

"I would have killed a soc if they beat you up too."

"Huh?"

"I said..."

"I heard you." Johnny's deep eyes settled on me longingly. Some feeling rocked in my body, making my heart race. "Ponyboy, you shouldn't say things like that."

"I'm saying them to you."

"No, you -- you shouldn't. I did that for you because I didn't have any other plan, okay?" Johnny's eyes became glazed. "I couldn't let you die. I can't have you die. I did that for you, and you shouldn't do that because we're just kids!"

"What, am I too young to understand? I'm not old enough?"

"You're old enough to know that you shouldn't say things like that!"

"Oh, is that it? I think if you were drowning, and some life force was keeping you from breathing... I would kill for you, Johnny."

His eyes held this uproar of emotion, like he was panting and desperately breathing for life. I felt his every bit of energy and tears. Johnny told me to stop talking, to come and help him gather the supplies.

We both got to our feet, subsequently exchanging looks of mixed, clashed emotion. Bits and pieces of fragmented words and anger hung in the air. The boy across from me approached me, in a rage, a peaking distress that prepared me for the worst.

Then, Johnny took my lips in his own, matching our every emotion into one single kiss. I moved back, bringing my back to the hard wall as his taste enhanced on my lips. We collided, again and again, unable to find a reason to stop. The air of exploded emotion made us realize how much was missing, how much we needed this.

My hands explored over his rugged shirt, pressing him in like I tried to pin him all over my own form. Johnny groaned in my mouth, one hand curled on my sides and the other at the bottom of my back. In something normal like the stillness of his eyes and face, there was so much passion and so much commotion.

"Johnny.." I gave a breathy noise as his lips traveled to the bend of my neck. My eyebrows scrunched in as I basked in a sensation of fulfillment. Johnny left a trail of murmurs and kisses up my jaw and behind my ear. I rolled my eyes shut and shuddered at the unbelievable touch, pulling his hips closer to mine.

I was running high on passion now, gripping onto Johnny's every move as our mouths met time and time again. After some time, we realized how burning hot we were from the collisions. We had gone quite far in exploring each other's feelings. The electricity was still there, the need for closeness didn't wear off for the night to come, but we proceeded in gathering all we could find for the hours we'd spend in our hideout.

"How'd you like that chapter?" I probed to Johnny, finishing the last of my sandwich. He was crouched down on the floor, specifying every small image of the book that made sense to him.

"Yeah... the Civil War was a mess." I chuckled, and he smiled warmly like he took note of the same thing.

"I'm sorry about earlier." he flicked his head up at me. "I just... didn't see my reaction ahead of time, and you're the smartest kid I know... I didn't expect you to think of me that way."

A small, radiant sensation of warmth hit my stomach. "It's okay, Johnny... I guess it takes a smart kid to show you you're important. Maybe I've done my job."

Johnny chuckled sweetly. I didn't feel like any other smart kid now; I felt like I had gone beyond even my own expectations. He supported his body up on one knee and pressed a kiss to my cheek. "You're one in a million, kid."