𝗮/𝗻: 𝗚𝗨𝗬𝗬𝗬𝗦 𝗜𝗠 𝗦𝗢 𝗦𝗢𝗥𝗥𝗬 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗧𝗢𝗢𝗞 𝗦𝗢 𝗟𝗢𝗡𝗚 𝗟𝗢𝗟. 𝗦𝗖𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗟'𝗦 𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗕𝗨𝗦𝗬

---

François was done with being a nurse, at least for today. He took a warm shower, changed his bloodsoaked clothes into his nightwear, and went into his office.

He's one of the lucky few nurses with a TV in his room. It's not a good one. It's one of those fat TVs, and the only things he could watch were anything on VHS. There were only a few things to watch, and since almost all the generals were old men, it was grandpa stuff. Old black and white movies, The Beatles Cartoon (which was a certain someone's favorite), Car 54, The Batman series, and The Monkees series. There were only three exceptions to this role: Catch 22, only seasons four and nine of The Simpsons, and due to popular demand, Cops.

He sat down on the couch, sighing deeply as he finally felt his feet relax. He leaned over to reach for Cops when he heard quiet crying from under a blanket. He could recognize who it was without even to look under it.

"Lloyd, what's wrong?"

The general popped out the blanket, tears on his cut and red face. "Nothing!" François titled his head, so the other crossed his arms. "White and Kim are being assholes!"

"How?" He crossed his leg.

He sat up, wiping his tears. "I wanted to watch The Beatles show with Kim, but he was pissy and said it was stupid! I asked White, and he wanted to play basketball with his dumb friend instead!" He cried into his knees, his arms hugging them. "Everyone hates me! Nobody wants to be around me!"

François frowned and touched his boney shoulder. "Lloyd, that's not true. Everyone loves you! You see those propaganda posters with your face all over them and those commercials about you." He wrinkled his nose when he smelled the cigarette. "White doesn't like those things, but that doesn't mean he hates you. Kim, well, you know how he is."

Lloyd sniffled as he smoked, not fully believing those words. He felt bad about buying those cigarettes he was smoking. He was saving up for the wedding ring. He perked up when François put a VHS in the TV and heard the theme song of the show.

"Y'know, my grandpa used to watch this show when he was a kid." He sat back down. He looked and grinned when he saw that cheesy smile. "You feel better now?"

"Yeah."

--

"Franny?"

François looked up and saw Lloyd was flying above him. He didn't realize he was so zoned out.

"Um, I don't think I can do the appointment. I'm just too scared." He was hugging the other's head with his upper arms and his body with the lower. "But I still want you to do it."

"I will, but why are you scared?" He put the Beatles album he was holding down at the desk.

He liked the piano room. It had shelves of books, a desk for drawing or writing, two windows that showed off the greenery outside, a fan, and their paintings were on the white walls. The only thing he didn't like was the guestroom room, so in the summer of last year, he had it painted over. He left everything inside it there. An untouched memory. Lloyd completely forgotten about its existence and what occurred. François didn't.

He looked away. "Baby, isn't it obvious?" He pointed to his horns. He put two gold necklaces on them, almost looking like a halo.

"Oh, love." He dragged him down and put him on his lap. "You don't have to be ashamed of this. You look very pretty."

He sighed. "To you, at least."

François frowned and stroked his cheek. It was a strange feeling of scaly and soft, although he didn't mind it. "Don't be like that, Lloydie. You're still super hot."

Lloyd stayed quiet as the taller played with his hair, bouncing the thick curls. He had his tail slightly around his ankle. He didn't like the way he looked now. He did like how useful it was, though. Now, he could reach anything he needed and fly freely around the house. He could pick up all the animals at once, even if it scared Benjamin. The best thing, at least to him, was being able to hold François with his arms and tail. It was another level of closeness. And since that brings so much warmth to the redhead, he's started taking off his shirt at night to get more comfortable. Lloyd just eats that up.

"Remember when you gave me this?" He showed him the Rubber Soul album.

He smiled. "I do. I can't believe you still have that. The cover is all ripped up."

He chuckled and stood up. "Baby, of course I kept it!"

He put him in the bedroom and tucked him in the bed. It was almost time for the Zoom appointment. He turned on the TV.

"You have to watch Tiger King. It's insane."

---

"F-Franny, I'm cold."

It was December in Annie's little house in Normandy. Lloyd's been depressed and sick all day. He was beginning to show his face, but he was still worrisome to his loved ones.

"Come here, my love." François picked him up, being mindful of his breathing tube. Poor thing was a skeleton. The tank probably weighed more than he did. He foolishly hoped he would never need it again after this.

He carried him by the window. He put a blanket on him as he rubbed his back. Lloyd liked this. He likes being held, and he likes it even more because it was his boyfriend.

"You're going to laugh when you see my room soon." He rubbed his back. He didn't like the way it felt. "It's covered in musical posters. I was in plays in high school."

He looked up and grinned. "Really? Were you the main star?"

"No, the closest I got to it was a fish."

They laughed about that. Lloyd never knew. It was funny to think about him dancing and singing on stage.

Finally, the redhead stopped to stroke his back again. "But yes, I thought I wanted to be an actor, but reading the scripts is too hard. I want to be a baker."

"That's nice, love. I'll eat everything every day."

---

Lloyd woke up, covered in sweat. He hated having nightmares. He knew this one had no meaning behind it, but it still felt so real.

He looked outside. It was still bright, though it looked like the sun was going to set soon. He heard the redhead talking with his therapist from the other room.

"Ugh."

He heard Blueberry licking her paws. He put her on his lap of sorts. Jr hoped up on the messy bed. He's been very mixed about the new look. He didn't like snakes, but he loved Lloyd. He hissed at him, then rolled on his belly for pats.

François came and sat on the bed. "Therapy went well. I asked her to decrease my antidepressants, makes me feel like a robot."

"Beep boop." He laughed, then stopped when he heard the other sniffling. "Allergies?"

"Ugh, yeah. It's so bad this year. The flu is going to be hell."

"Watch." He kissed his head.

Suddenly, his nose cleared up, his eyes stopped being so watery, and his headache disappeared. He took a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of freedom again.

"You're a lifesaver." He laid his head on his upper shoulder, feeling a kiss on his forehead.

"Anytime you get sick, I can take-" he noticed a bruise on his arm. "-when did this happen?"

The other looked at it. "Oh, I was taking out Benjamin last night, and he got zoomies and knocked me over. Didn't think it would leave a bruise, though."

He touched it with his cold hand. The taller watched in amusement as the bruise slowly went away until it was gone. It'll never fail to amaze him to watch all the new things Lloyd could do.

"Are you hungry?" François nodded, so Lloyd snapped for milk. He crushed it, making ice cream.

"That's awesome!" He smiled when Lloyd spoon fed him. "Baby, I'm supposed to be losing weight."

He frowned slightly as he fed him. "But you look good like this. You don't need to lose weight."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Not really."

"But you're so warm.."

He huffed and looked up at him. "Well, okay, I guess I can stay like this. But I'm not gaining any more weight."

"That's fair. I think I should watch mine too." He grabbed his gray stomach, then ate a spoon of ice cream.

The taller thought back to when he was anorexic. He wouldn't eat for days at a time. He never told him why, but he had his suspensions. Sometimes, the soldiers would run out of food. Lloyd never told him this, but James said that one time he became so famished that he hallucinated that rocks were pieces of bread and began eating them one by one. When food was plentiful again, he wouldn't eat unless everyone around him ate first. When he was a king and had feasts for guests, he wouldn't even look at it unless each guest had enough on their plates.

Another reason, at least what François thinks, could be the bullying. Everyone called him Tubby, even when he was a stick. He wouldn't want to eat after that, even if White begged him to. His self-esteem was nonexistent during the war, and it took months to get him to say he was decent looking.

"I don't want to you either. You look the best you've ever looked."

Lloyd blushed so deeply his cheeks turned a dark purple. "Really? Even like this?"

François had his arm around him. "Of course! You look like a fairytale!"

He giggled and kissed his head. It made him feel foolish for hiding this in the first place. He should've known he would've still been handsome to him.

The tone changed slightly. "What color is your ring?"

His eyes widen. He's been hiding this well for nearly a month. He should've known he would find out eventually. He's been doing his research about snakes. He keeps boxes around for him, he's brought dead mouse even if it digusts him, and a heat lamp for him in the bedroom.

"Oh, uh," He looked at the gray diamond on his finger. "...orange?"

François gave him a disappointment look. The ring was bright red. "I knew it." He stroked his claw-like hand. "Why did you hide this?"

"Well, I kinda hiding the snake thing, and being colorblind isn't fun." He looked down. "I'm sorry, baby."

He touched his face. "I'm not angry. At least I know what colors to put in the house. What colors can you see?"

"Yellow, blue, a little green, and I've started to see gold."

He nodded. He knew what to do now. Lloyd already likes blue. He has tons of gold jewelry. They don't have that many green things, but there was always money to fix that. François sold everything that was yellow. Squishmellows, some of his clothes, yellow crayons, and paints.

Coming up with an idea, he let Lloyd kiss his beard before heading out.

---

Lloyd watched François sleep. It was their first week together in their new house. He didn't realize how much he had missed France before. He missed the smell of all the bakeries and the fresh bread. He missed the quiet streets in the afternoon and the loudness in the morning.

He missed François the most. Those months without him felt so strange. It's funny. He's gone sixteen years without him and was completely fine. But a few months apart, it felt like the end of the world.

He played his curls. He liked the way his pale hand looked in the red forest. He hoped they'll never spend time apart ever again.

He wished the world would stay like this forever. His heart wanted to marry François right now, but his mind knew that was insane. He held his freckled hand up to his face.

He had very nice hands. Not too long, not too short. His index finger was his longest finger. Very clean, painted nails. He noticed a small detail about the hand he was holding. His pinky had the least amount of freckles on his body entire body. Only twelve. His legs had the most. 1,256 on his left and 1,002 on his right. Lloyd liked that they both ended in even numbers.

He liked everything about him. His ocean eyes, ruby hair, what couldn't he like? He likes the way he sleeps. He looks like a little Medieval child who will die of the plague any minute. The cutest thing, really.

---

Lloyd looked in the mirror as he brushed his hair. He kept thinking about the nightmare. He was going to meet his parents. When they saw him, his mother screamed.

"You're not my son!" He remembered her scared voice. "My son isn't a monster!"

He tried to reason with her, but his father put his pistol to his neck. He knew it wasn't real, but it hurt. It was like pouring lemon juice into an open cut.

"Get away, you freak!"

He sighed as he put his green brush away. Benjamin was picked up and held like a baby. He was scared at first, but the big mush grew to love being cradled. He did those pitbull purrs as his owner stared in the mirror.

He was conflicted. He was a healthy weight, had curly hair, and looked pretty cool. François really liked it, so he really liked it too. It was just the reactions he was scared of. He thought about who to see first. Definitely not his parents, his uncle is dead, his siblings are dead, maybe his adoptive siblings?

"Baby, I'm home!"

He gasped and happily flew downstairs to him. He gave him a fat hug before carrying him around. He didn't even notice he was wearing a hat. He was talking away and put the bags in the bedroom. He moved left and right, kissing him all over.

"Did you miss me?" François was grinning and bright red.

He raised his eyebrow. "No, I'm going to throw out the window." He playfully pretended to throw him, the two laughing.

"I have a surprise." He took off his hat, revealing his bright blue highlights."Tada!"

The other gasped and touched it, a huge smile on his face. He whispered it about being so beautiful. He could finally see his beautiful curls. François was hesitant to do this, considering that he had never dyed his hair before. But seeing that big smile was all worth it.

---

François sat in his birthday garden. He was loothing royalty more with each day. He just wanted to go home.

"Ah. Good morning." Lloyd was taking the dogs out. The guards offered do it, but they were his babies. 

"Morning, Lloydie." It broke his heart to see him so exhausted. He could barely keep his eyes open.

Lloyd let the dogs off their leashes to run around and sat next to his husband. He could feel how tired he was. He could also see those blue eyes staring at him.

"Papers." He could barely speak. "Luna was awake...too."

The redhead nodded and put his arm around his shoulders. Luna was awake dancing to music, but she fell asleep at around ten. The papers were the main reason. It was about taxes. Lloyd didn't want too much, and thankfully, he was able to reduce them. It pays to have a math student as king.

He went to light a cigarette. The lighter fell out his hand. He clicked the air, put the cigarette in his mouth, then tried to smoke it. The taller could feel his heart twitch.

"Why don't you take a nap? You're so tired." He took the cigarette in his mouth and put it in his pocket. He'll break it later.

He shook his head. "The..what's it called?" He snapped his fingers until he remembered. "Oh, representative for South...Korea is coming in the afternoon."

"Mhm." François made Lloyd put his head on his shoulders. He rubbed his back until he heard quiet snoring. "I'm sorry you're so stressed."

-----

"Okay, I think we should change the aesthetic of the house. Make it more snake friendly." François looked down to see the other staring at his hair. "Baby, stop looking at my purple hair."

"Tehe." He picked François up and floated around the house with him. "Let's do the kitchen first."

Their house doesn't have a particular style. They usually just did what felt right. The kitchen was pale yellow and had brown cabinets and oven. François was more than happy to change the color.

Lloyd snapped his fingers, turning the room light pink. "Red. It's your favorite."

He chuckled. "No, love. We're making you friendly colors. Besides, you made it pink."

"Oh." He made it white. "Like it?"

"Are we going for a white look? Like clean?"

He titled his head. "Yeah, I guess."

He snapped with his three hands, and everything in the kitchen turned white. François really liked it. The only outlier was the table that was marble table, but it honestly looked better.

"It's giving...holy."

Lloyd put his finger on his lips. "It's giving like peaceful." He looked over at the table. "Oh, your bags."

The other picked them up. "It's time for the bedroom."

Lloyd made plane noises as he started to fly to the stairs. He stared at them, then snapped his fingers. Both were relieved, the memory was gone. It was Victorian style stairs, the railing being golden.

They ended up getting distracted and doing the living room instead. The once beige room was now a comforting shade of brown. They tried to make it look like the bookshop from Good Omens. The book shelf was bigger, the TV was on the left instead of the right, the white couch was changed to dark brown, and they fixed the cabinets. They moved and changed their decorations.

François didn't notice that he still had the holiday decorations up from two years ago. Not only were the sliver and blue garland and the gold menorah centerpiece out, but they also had Christmas decorations because of White, Beom, and Valentino. A tiny Christmas tree (though they only put white and blue ornaments on it out of respect), a sneaky mistletoe in the doorway, and a little snowman next to the tree. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed until now.

"Aw, look at this." Lloyd reached for the family portrait on top of the black mantle. It was the couple and their pets.

François was touched but also hurt. He really let himself go. He was fit and attractive, and now he's fat and ugly. Lloyd looked different, too. Brown-eyed and haired. Benjamin was at his feet. Jr and a thick book were held by Lloyd as he sat in a blue chair, the other's hand on his shoulder while he held a sliver globe with the other. The girls were with the redhead. It ached both of them when they saw the crowns. It was the day before their worst fight.

"We have to get that redone." Lloyd put it back before snapping fake plants next to it.

"I guess. Jr really grew up since then." He pointed to the corner. "I know snakes like trees, and I think one would make the room look cool."

The other couldn't do it, but he snapped his fingers anyway to try. Luckily, Grandpa was watching and did it for him. He made a tall orange tree that extended into the hallway, the veins getting on the coffee broom celling.

"Ahh!!" Lloyd put him down to climb on it. He wrapped his tail around the branches, feeling comfortable.

François felt warm to see him so giddy. An orange fell on his head. He piled it open as the other got down and picked him up again to fly into the bedroom.

The shorter put the taller down. "What's the vibe we're going for?"

"Well, I know that snakes like green, and I was looking at Pinterest and saw cottagecore." He showed him a picture. "So I think something like that?"

"That looks awesome." He snapped and changed the bedsheets. The blanket looked like grass, the pillows looked like rocks, and there were little mushrooms lights around it. It was red light, but that was alright.

François squeezed his hand. Lloyd loved seeing him so happy, and he snapped his fingers to turn the walls a light mint green. He added more things. The rug was dark green, and he added flower lights and everything else the other wanted. When he finished, the room was completely different. It was good. They wouldn't be reminded of the terrible nights of rare arguments or illness.

"I brought some things you might like." François first gave him a dead mouse. Lloyd split it with Jr. He moved the pride flag away. He took down his own. "The gay community made a new flag for you guys."

He showed him the new blue, white, and green flag. Lloyd really liked it. He could see all the colors. He put it up next to the bed.

"Did yours get a new design too?" He looked at him and saw his face. "What's wrong?"

"I don't think I identify as pansexual anymore. I hate everyone, except you, of course."

He nodded. "I see."

Lloyd was busying, taping their little pictures to the wall, leaving François to overthink.

"I'm sorry about it. I didn't want anything to change, but I think I changed the most."

Lloyd looked at him after he snapped a new brown nightstand and little stuffed frogs to go with it. "Franny, I'm not angry. People change. We've both have." He had his lower arms around his waist and the upper touching his face. "And I think it's a good thing."

He felt a bit embarrassed that Lloyd was touching his stomach, but he didn't seem to mind. "I love the way you think."

"What's your sexuality now?"

The taller shrugged. "I don't know."

"That's okay, dear boy. You don't need to know right away." He stood back to admire the work. "Looks good?"

He smiled at him. Their house never felt so much like home before. "It's perfect."

----

It was the day of the diagnosis. Lloyd threw himself onto the couch and sobbed. If only he didn't waste so much time. If only he had listened and got checked sooner. If only.

François was right next to him. He hugged him as tight as he could. Maybe if he did, he could sponge up the cancer so his husband would be okay. If only he noticed before. If only he paid attention to the random bruises and stomach aches. If only.

The word spun around the room. It was like a paradise crawling up the walls, whispering it so it could echo around the room.

Cancer. Cancer. Cancer.

"François, what are I'm going to do!" He was hysterical, clinging to the pillow.

"What are we gonna do?" He reached Lloyd's back. "You're not going through this alone."

He looked up at him. His eyes looked like shiny Tiger Eyes. "Then I ruined both our lives!" He hugged him, crying in his chest. "Oh, François!"

He rubbed his back. The fight between him and Marie was still in his brain. On the ride home, he begged Lloyd to change his mind. Who knows, maybe the medicine could've worked. But no, he wouldn't do it. Honestly, he didn't blame him. The people who take it look like death. They either look like balloons or skeletons, have yellow skin, no hair, and they have no energy. He couldn't imagine what his beautiful boy would become.

"We're going to get through this together. I promise."

---

"Beau has been..something else." They were reading on the couch.

"How?"

Franny hugged his torso, putting the book on the floor. "When you left, he was a total asshole. God, he was so mean to me. Then last week, I think, he called me a fat fuck."

Lloyd scoffed. "Fuck him! He's a dick!"

"Yeah, I blocked him." He sighed. "Still hurts to think about, though."

"Don't think about it too much. We have other things to keep us busy." He put him on his lap. "Like your birthdayyy."

He blushed. "Oh my goshh. I can't believe I'm celebrating. I didn't do it last year, or the year before that."

He frowned slightly. He really had to make this one big. "You'll celebrate this year. I have something planned."

He smiled when the shorter grinned. "Okay."

--

Beau went over to the house after the sun went down. For what, he wasn't exactly sure. He just knows that he brought flowers.

He was going to knock on the door, but he instead went to the side of the house where the living room window was. Jr was closing his eyes and staring outside, not really bothered by Beau's appearance.

He peaked in, and what he saw made his stomach sick. His best friend was sleeping and hugging a creature! He ducked down so it wouldn't see him.

Who was that? Why did it have a tail? Wings? Horns?! Why was François snuggling up with it? Why were the animals not doing anything? Blueberry was even laying her head down next to it! It-

Pointy nose. The eyes he's only seen on one other person. The light gray bowlip.

Its voice sounded familiar. It rung every bell in his brain. Smooth, dragging, soft, high-pitched, almost motherly sounding.

He looked at what it was doing. It cracked its claw-like fingers, it patted the dog with the lower ones and stroked his friend's blue hair with the other. It turned the pages one at the time, grabbing it at the center instead of the edge so it didn't get ruined.

This wasn't a creature. This was Lloyd.

How dare he! He disappeared for two years, ruined their friendship, destroyed his friend, and then has to nerve to come back looking like this! He took a picture for proof.

He drove away, his hands griping the wheel. It was beginning to make sense. François is real stupid for a smart guy. Nearly a month ago, he posted on Instagram for the first time since the incident. Apart from thousands of people liking and giving positive comments, there were a few people including himself that noticed something off. In the corner of the third photo, there was a tiny white thing in the corner. He chalked up to it being a plushie, but now it made sense. If Lloyd was back, the other two dogs must be back as well.

Another thing he did, although it was unnoticeable if you didn't know him, was that he stopped picking his nails. The last time they talked through zoom, his nails not only looked long, they were also painted.

By the time he was home, he was fuming. He called Bella, who just came back to her apartment after a movie.

"What? I'm still mad at you."

"Bella! Bella! Lloyd's back!"

She paused before saying, "You're drunk, are you?"

His voice was manic. "No! I have a picture!"

He waited to her to get it, and when she did, she was shocked. "I'll dicuss it with him tomorrow. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for all this."

"AM I THE ONLY SANE ONE IN THIS SHIT COUNTRY!" His white face was bright red. "THAT MONSTER CAME BACK! AFTER EVERYTHING HE PUT US THROUGH-"

"US?!" She lowered her voice. She already had a noise complaint last week because she was celebrating her birthday and apparently the music was too loud. "Beau, stop being so selfish! François has been suffering for so long, and from the look of it, he actually looks happy again! We'll go over there tomorrow and talk to him!"

"GOD, YOU DON'T HELP! I'M GOING TO GET RID OF HIM! WHEN FRANÇOIS ISN'T SHOVING FOOD DOWN HIS FAT FACE, HE'S BEING DELUSIONAL!"

Bella felt her heart racing. "I hate you! You're unbearable! How dare you talk about him like that!"

"FUCK YOU!" He hung up. 

She stared at her phone. She felt so angry. It seemed like she was the only person that didn't care about François' weight. Why should she? It's just weight.

She looked at the picture. Lloyd did look a bit freakish, but it was still Lloyd. She knew he was utterly harmless. He looked as sweet as ever. There was so much love in his eyes as he looked her best friend in the world. Blueberry, who looked like a depressed old lady every time she saw her, looked young and happy again. Even Jr looked more relaxed. On the rare times she came over, he was extremely naughty. He would scratch her if she got too close to him or his owner, he hissed if she moved, and he would steal food out of her hand to eat it. The fact that Beau was even able to get a photo that close to the cat on the other side of the window was a big deal.

What Beau said scared her. Get rid of Lloyd? Why would he want François to be miserable again? If something happens to him again, she doesn't think the redhead would survive it this time.

She decided to wait until tomorrow morning to go over to his house. What's the worst that could happen?