Tequila, Teleportation and Trouble
KATERINA TOOK ONE last puff of her cigarette before throwing it out the car window. She had stopped in the parking lot of a quaint liquor store.
As she stepped out of the car, her gaze fell on a disheveled man slumped against a wall, a needle still embedded in his arm. What a hellhole, she thought, shaking her head. She strode toward the liquor store, pushing open the door as a small bell jingled overhead.
Behind the counter sat a gruff, heavyset man, his frown deepening as he looked her over." We don't serve minors here" he rasped, his voice as rough as his appearance.
Katerina fixed him with a piercing stare, her silence more intimidating than any words. Without breaking eye contact, she yanked out an ID and slammed it onto the counter, then snatched the first bottle of tequila that caught her eye.
"You look awfully young, lady" he muttered, suspicion lacing his tone.
She flashed a wicked smile. "Yeah, well, what can I say, perks of being a supernatural freak." With a flick of her wrist, she tossed a fifty dollar bill onto the counter.
"Keep the change", she added, spinning on her heel and leaving the store, the man still staring at her, utterly baffled.
Jesus, finally a drink, she thought, walking in a very determined manner toward the car, keys clicking and clacking while traversing the parking lot.
About six feet away, a telephone booth stood under the dim streetlight, its presence almost eerie in the quiet of the night. Suddenly, it began to ring, the sharp sound slicing through the silence making her jump. Who the hell would be calling at this hour? she wondered, before rolling her eyes in realization. The Commission, she thought. Only they would pull something like this.
With a sigh, Katerina strode over to the booth and snatched the phone off the hook.
"Yeah, what?" she snapped.
"Hello, Miss Katerina. We have a new assignment for you. You must begin first thing in the morning." the voice droned.
"Seriously?" Katerina drawled "I literally just wrapped up my job, like, two hours ago. Can't a girl get a night to get absolutely thrashed in peace?"
There was a pause, then the voice responded, unfazed "Check the compartment behind the phone."
Before she could fire back another quip, a series of beeps signaled the end of the call.
She scowled, hearing a a swoosh from the back of the phone. It took some effort, but she finally managed to pry open the hidden compartment. Inside, there was a small canister. She unscrewed it and pulled put a roll of paper, unrolling it slowly.
"Eliminate Five Hargreeves" she read aloud.
Katerina stared at the name, her brow furrowing. Five Hargreeves? The name rang a bell, but she couldn't quite place it.
•••
With a half empty tequila bottle in her left hand, Katerina slowly guided the car into the parking lot of Griddy's Donuts. Only two other cars were there. She parked, settled back into her seat, and took another long swig from her bottle. She wasn't drunk- she knew she couldn't get drunk, not with the Commission breathing down her neck, refusing to give her a single day of peace.
Through the large windows of the shop, she spotted what looked like a man and a kid, sharing a quiet conversation. Curiosity piqued, Katerina grabbed her binoculars and studied them. The man had a chocolate éclair in front of him, but it was the kid that made her frown- he was sipping black coffee. What kind of fifteen year old drinks black coffee in the middle of the night?
She continued, watching the boy, scrutinizing him closely. Then, he shifted slightly, and she caught a glimpse of something on his ugly uniform- the unmistakable Umbrella Academy symbol. Gotcha, she thought.
The boy said something to the man, scribbled something on a napkin, and then the man stood up and left. Just as she was about to stub out her freshly lit cigarette and step out of the car, she saw them. Commission buffoons, she groaned. Might as well let them do the dirty work and save me the trouble.
She watched as they entered the shop, the boy still seated, not even flinching. But in the span of three minutes- maybe less- he had killed them all with.... a butter knife? And that freaky teleportation power? They hadn't mentioned that. Jesus.
"He's good" she muttered to herself, sighing in annoyance as she opened the car door. "Well, looks like it's up to me again."
Five had just took out the tracking device in his arm when he heard the door chime. He turns his head around, catching his breath, when suddenly, he spots her.
In the doorway stood a woman... no, it was a girl. She was scanning the room with her brown eyes, unfazed by the destruction, her eyes immediately locking onto Five. He scanned her features- soft face, long chestnut hair resting on her shoulders. She was dressed in a long fitted coat, subtly hugging her figure, hands in her pockets while still staring at him. She looked familiar- too familiar.
Five casally wipes the blood off his face, eyeing her. "Great. Just what I needed- a second wave. Didn't the Commission get the memo? I don't do encore performances!"
Katerina, still scanning Five, takes a couple small steps towards him. "Oh, I'm not just any encore. I'm the main event." she says, a small smile creeping on her lips.
Five raises an eyebrow, intrigued " Really? Because you look more like the 'last minute replacement' type to me."
Katerina laughs softly, with a hint of sarcasm. "I've been called worse by people who didn't live to repeat it."
Five starts circling her slowly, sizing her up. "I'm guessing you're here to collect whatever's left of those idiots." he says, gesturing to the unconscious assassins. "Good luck with that. They didn't exactly make a good first impression."
Katerina takes a second to analyze the boy. His green eyes were piercing hers, his sharp jawline clenched in frustration. Quickly, she snapped back. "I'm not here to clean up their mess. I'm here to clean you up."
Five stars chuckling at her remark. This is interesting, he thought. "Is that what they told you? You must be new here. Let me guess- killer looks, killer skills and a killer headache waiting for you by the time we're done?"
Katerina crosses her arms, and that same smile appears on her face. "And here I thought you'd be more of a challenge. But if you're this cocky, maybe I'll get to clock out early."
Five pauses, looking her up and down. "You know, for someone sent to kill me, you're almost likable. Almost."
"Flattery won't save you, Mister Five." she responds, tilting her head, amused at his remark.
Five starts grinning, slowly shifting into a defensive stance. "Didn't think it would. But it's fun watching you try to resist it."
With tension thick in the air, Katerina narrows her eyes on Five, preparing herself for a fight.
Without hesitation, she charges at him, their fight erupting in a blur of swift, brutal exchanges.
As she finds herself in front of the boy, she moves her leg up to strike him. Five dodges her strike, barely missing her kick. "You're fast, I'll give you that."
Katerina, dodging his fists, lands a blow on his jaw that sends him staggering. Five steadies himself, wiping a trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth with a smirk. "Not bad- for someone who's barely old enough to drive?"
Katerina rolled her eyes, already back on the offensive. "You're one to talk, shortstack. Aren't you a little young to be playing with knives?"
Five sidestepped her next punch, catching her wrist and twisting it just enough to make her wince. " Age is relative, sweetheart. But I suppose you'd know that, given your, uh, supernatural freak perks."
She yanked her wrist free, using the momentum to spin and land a roundhouse kick at his head. "At least I don't need to wear a school uniform to feel important."
Five ducked, and the kick sailed over him. "You know, this whole 'mysterious assassin' act is cute, but aren't you tired of always being someone else's errand girl?"
Katerina's eyes flashed with irritation. "Says the guy who's been running errand for the Commission for- what- decades now?"
Five's smirk faltered for a split second, but he recovered, leaping back as she lunged at him. He blinked out of sight just as her fist cut through the space where his head had been, reappearing behind her.
"Touché," he muttered, landing a precise jab to her ribs that made her stagger. "But you're not exactly one to lecture about bad decisions."
She grit her teeth, spinning around to meet his attack head-on, but he was already gone, blinking just out of reach every time she got close. "Stay still, you teleporting twerp!"
"Why?" he quipped, blinking behind her again and hooking his arm around her throat in a swift, controlled motion. "So you can keep wasting both our time with this little scuffle?"
Katerina struggled in his grip, her breath hitching as he tightened his hold. But then, as she elbowed him in the ribs and forced him to loosen his grip, she noticed something strange. His expression had changed, confusion flickered in his eyes, followed by recognition.
He abruptly released her, stepping back. "You..."
Katerina, catching her breath, looked at him warily, ready to strike again. "What? You've decided to call it quits?"
Five didn't answer immediately, his brow furrowing as he stared at her. "I've seen you before," he said, almost to himself. "In the apocalypse."
She froze, the words hitting her like a cold wave. "What are you talking about?"
Five shook his head, his stance relaxing, though his eyes remained sharp and calculating. "You were there.... But that's impossible. You shouldn't-"
He stopped himself, glancing around as if suddenly aware of the danger in the surroundings. Without another word, he blinked away, leaving Katerina standing alone in the middle of the donut shop, her heart racing with more questions than answers. There was only one thing she felt for sure- he was telling the truth.
•••
Five blinked into Vanya's apartment, a small whoosh echoing. The silence of the room was almost suffocating, a stark contrast to the chaos that had been his life mere minutes ago. He stood still for a moment, letting the calm settle over him, but his mind was anything but quiet.
The girl's face echoed in his thoughts as he moved deeper into the apartament, his eyes scanning the modest furnishings. She wasn't just another target; she was something more- something that unsettled him in ways he hadn't felt in years.
He paused by the window, staring out at the city's glow. When he first arrived in the apocalypse, he had seen it- her lifeless body sprawled among the ruins, alongside his siblings. The sight had been seared into his memory, a grim reminder of the world's end. But there she was now, alive and very much a threat, though one he couldn't quite categorize. How was she here, in this timeline, walking and breathing as if that future had never touched her? It didn't make sense.
His thoughts kept circling back to her, to the way she fought- vicious and unrelenting, yet with a control that hinted at something deeper. He hated to admit it, but he was intrigued. More than that, even. There was something about her that pulled at him, a curiosity that was dangerously close to attraction.
Focus, he told himself sharply, tearing his gaze away from the window. She's not some puzzle to figure out. She's a job. A target. But the words felt hollow, even as he repeated them in his mind.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. You saw her dead, he reminded himself, trying to ground his thoughts. You saw her lying there with the rest of them. And yet, here she was, alive and as dangerous as ever. What did that mean? Was she somehow tied to the apocalypse, or was she just another victim of the Commission's twisted machinations?
He shook his head, trying to brush off the thoughts, but they clung to him stubbornly. He could still feel the weight of her presence, the way her energy had crackled in the air between them. And despite himself, he found it harder and harder to dismiss the curiosity. What did she have to do with all this?
•••
Katerina stumbled out of the donut shop, her footsteps uneven on the pavement as the distant wail of police sirens echoed through the night. She heard a sudden swoosh, and her eyes darted to the right just in time to see a small can clattering out of a rusty pipe. With a sigh, she bent down, picked it up, and unrolled the familiar slip of paper inside.
Deduction in reward for every failed elimination attempt.
"This is bullshit!" she shouted, her voice ringing out in the empty street as she hurled the can to the ground with a fierce scowl. Deduction my ass! she thought bitterly. These little shits can't even bother to give me a place to sleep! Frustration boiled over as she kicked the pipe from where the can had fallen, the metal rattling in response.
Still seething, she stomped back to her car, grabbing the half-empty bottle of tequila from the passenger seat. Without hesitation, she tilted it back, draining the last of it before tossing the bottle aside. She slid behind the wheel, her anger fueling her as she revved the engine and drove toward a bar near Maritech's Prosthetics.
Inside the dimly lit bar, Katerina nursed one drink after another, trying to drown the chaos in her mind. But the more she drank, the more questions bubbled to the surface. What the hell did Five mean when he said he saw her dead? And what was this apocalypse he'd mentioned? It was as if every answer she thought she had slipped through her fingers like sand, leaving her more lost than before.
She took another swig, feeling the warmth of the alcohol seep into her veins, dulling the edges of her thoughts. That boy... she mused, her mind swirling. There's something about him, something off. And why the hell do I care? She shook her head, trying to push away the nagging thoughts, but they clung to her, persistent and confusing.
As the night wore on, the bar grew quieter, the patrons thinning out until it was just her, a distant man and the bartender. By the time the clock neared 5 a.m., Katerina was tipsy, her movements sluggish as she stumbled out of the bar, her head spinning. She barely noticed the man following her until he grabbed her arm, spinning her around.
"Hey, beautiful," he slurred, a lecherous grin spreading across his face. "You forgot to give me your number."
Katerina yanked her arm free, glaring at him. "Not interested, buddy. Move along."The man's grin vanished, replaced by a sneer as he stepped closer, looming over her. "I don't think you get a say in this."
Across the street, Five was driving toward Maritech's Prosthetics when he heard the raised voices. He stopped the car and blinked to the scene instantly, appearing just a few feet away from them. He watched for a moment as Katerina tried to reason with the man, her frustration clear.
"Back off," Katerina warned, her voice low and steady, though the alcohol made it difficult to keep her balance. "I'm not in the mood to hurt anyone tonight."
The man chuckled darkly, about to say something, but before he could, Five moved in a blur. In a swift motion, he snapped the man's neck, the body crumpling to the ground without a sound.
Katerina blinked, momentarily stunned. "Okay... that was efficient," she muttered, eyeing Five. "You always go around snapping necks, or is that your idea of foreplay?"
Five shot her a dry look. "Only when someone is being particularly annoying."
Katerina smirked, brushing off the shock as she looked at the body. "Well, thanks, I guess. Name's Katerina, by the way." She paused, eyeing him warily. "So, are you gonna kill me too, or was that a one-time deal?"
Five shook his head, his eyes sharp. "No. I have things to do."
Katerina raised an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued despite herself. "Like what?"
He didn't answer, simply turned on his heel and started walking back to his car. Katerina hesitated for a moment, her mind still spinning from the alcohol and the bizarre events of the night. Her instincts told her to let him go, but something else—a mix of drunken recklessness and the unsettling knowledge that he'd seen her dead—pushed her to follow him.
As she trailed behind him, her inner monologue was a jumble of conflicting thoughts. What the hell am I doing? This is insane. But he's not lying about the apocalypse. He saw me dead...
They reached the car, and Five turned around, his expression a mixture of annoyance and curiosity. "What are you doing?"
Katerina crossed her arms, a defiant look in her eyes. "I need answers about what you told me back at the donut shop. About the apocalypse, about me... I'm not just letting that go."
Five studied her for a moment, then sighed, clearly weighing his options. Finally, he nodded. "Fine. Get in."
As they settled into the car, Five began to speak, his tone detached but tinged with the weight of experience. "Years ago, I ended up in an apocalypse. The world was gone—nothing but ruins and corpses. My siblings were dead... and you were there too. Dead. I spent decades trying to find a way back, to stop it from happening."
Katerina listened intently, the haze of alcohol making everything feel slightly surreal. "So, you're saying that in eight days, we're all screwed?"
"Unless we figure out how to stop it," Five replied, glancing at her. "And for some reason, you're tied to it."
Katerina frowned, her mind trying to process everything. "Great. Just what I needed—another crisis."
Five smirked slightly, his usual seriousness softening just a fraction. "Welcome to my world."
He continued talking, recounting his years in the apocalypse. But when he turned to look at her again, he noticed her head had lolled to the side, her breathing even and slow. She had dozed off, the alcohol finally taking its toll.
Five watched her for a moment, a flicker of something unreadable passing through his eyes. She was an enigma, someone who could be an ally—or a threat. As he turned his gaze back to the road, he couldn't help but wonder if he could ever truly trust her. But for now, she was part of this twisted puzzle, and he had no choice but to see where it led.
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