Lab Shenanigans
AS THEY DROVE back to the lab, the car was filled with Klaus's wild, absurd ideas—each more ridiculous than the last—and Katerina's playful encouragement of every single one. It was as if they were in their own little world, where logic had no place and insanity reigned. Five, sitting in the front seat, could feel his sanity slipping away with every word they exchanged. He sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose as Katerina's infectious energy began to grow on him, despite his better judgment.
When they finally reached Mr. Biggs's office, Five turned sharply to Klaus before opening the door, his patience hanging by a thread. "Okay, Klaus, now is the time to shove all those useless remarks of yours up your ass and be serious. Capiche?"
Klaus nodded, though a mischievous grin started to curl at the corners of his mouth. Five's eyes narrowed in warning as he turned to Katerina. "And if I catch you laughing again, Katerina, I swear, I'm seriously going to flip out."
"Jeez, Five, you don't have to be such a tight ass," she retorted, rolling her eyes.
They entered the office, where Mr. Biggs looked decidedly less than thrilled to see the violent boy from that morning again. Klaus, in all his bizarre glory, flopped down on the chair across from the doctor, Katerina casually draping an arm over his shoulder like they were old pals.
"Hello, Mister..." Klaus began, squinting as he searched for the doctor's name tag, "...Biggs. My lovely son and his, uh, cousin here are curious to ask you a couple of questions." He nodded enthusiastically, as if convincing himself of the lie.
Mr. Biggs sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose as if that could ward off the impending headache. "Like I said to your son and his cousin earlier, any information about the prosthetics we build is strictly confidential. Without the client's consent, I simply can't help you."
Five, his frustration evident in every taut line of his body, leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. "Well, we can't get consent if you don't give us a name."
"Well, that's not my problem," Mr. Biggs replied with a dismissive shrug, his fingers interlocking in a gesture that practically screamed 'not my problem.' "Sorry, there's really nothing more I can do, so—"
Before he could finish, Klaus snapped out of his zoned-out state, sitting up straighter. "Well, what about my consent?"
The doctor looked at him, thoroughly baffled. "Excuse me?"
"Who gave you permission," Klaus began, his voice quivering with fake tears, "to lay your hands... on my son... and his lovely," he glanced tearfully at Katerina, "cousin?"
"What?" The three of them—Five, Katerina, and Mr. Biggs—said in unison, each with varying degrees of disbelief.
"You heard me," Klaus continued, undeterred.
"I didn't touch them," the doctor protested, his confusion mounting.
"Oh, really?" Klaus countered, pointing dramatically at Five. "Well, how did he get that swollen lip then?"
"He doesn't have a swollen—" Mr. Biggs began, only to be cut off as Klaus suddenly smacked Five in the face. Katerina couldn't help but let out a small laugh at the sight, earning a glare from Five.
"And how did this pretty little girl get that bruise on her cheek?" Klaus continued, before brutally smacking Katerina in the face as well. Five, finding some twisted sense of satisfaction in the karmic payback, smirked as Katerina shot him a 'shut up' look.
Klaus turned back to Mr. Biggs, leaning forward with a fierce intensity. "I want it. Name, please. Now."
Mr. Biggs, thoroughly rattled, pointed a trembling finger at Klaus. "You're crazy."
Klaus chuckled darkly. "You got no idea." He glanced down at the desk, spotting a small globe. With a devilish grin, he raised it to his face. "Peace on Earth! That's so sweet!" Then, with a wicked gleam in his eyes, he smashed the globe against his head.
Mr. Biggs recoiled in horror as Klaus groaned, trembling from the pain. "God, that hurt!" he exclaimed, wincing through gritted teeth.
As Mr. Biggs reached for the phone on his desk, intent on calling security, Klaus snatched it away, holding it to his ear with dramatic flair. "There's been an assault in Mr. Biggs's office, and we need security, now. Schnell!" He dropped the phone back on the desk with a flourish, leaving Mr. Biggs staring at him in shock.
Katerina, who had been quietly enjoying the chaotic spectacle, couldn't help but let a proud smile creep onto her lips. Me and Klaus are going to be very good friends, she thought.
With blood dripping down his face, Klaus leaned in close. "Now here's what's gonna happen, Grant."
"It's... Lance," the doctor corrected weakly.
"In about sixty seconds, two security guards are going to burst through that door, and they're gonna see a whole lotta blood, and they're going to wonder, 'What the hell happened?' And we're going to tell them that you..." Klaus's voice trembled with mock fear, "beat the shit out of us." He finished with a sob, as if the very idea broke his heart.
Katerina shot Five an approving nod, and he shrugged, as if to say, That's just my brother.
"You're gonna do great in prison, Grant. Trust me, I've been there. Little piece of chicken like you... Oh my God, you're gonna get passed around like a..." Klaus paused, subtly gyrating his hips, "you're just—you're gonna do great. That's all I'm saying," he concluded with a dismissive wave.
Katerina softly elbowed Five, whispering with a smirk, "What do you think, Cinco? How many boyfriends is Mr. Biggs here pulling in prison?"
Five couldn't help but chuckle at her comment, a chuckle that was... different. Softer. Almost warm. It was a side of him Katerina had never seen before, and it caught her off guard.
The doctor, eyes wide with disbelief, finally muttered, "Jesus, you are a real sick bastard."
Klaus, utterly unfazed, grinned. "Thank you," he replied, spitting out a shard of glass.
Mr. Biggs took one more look at the three of them, his gaze flicking nervously between Klaus, Katerina, and Five. Katerina flashed him a wide, fake smile. "Let's get going, Grant. Wouldn't want security seeing all this mess."
With a shaky nod, Mr. Biggs led them to the office where they kept all the client records. He rifled through the folders, searching for the eye's serial number, his hands trembling slightly.
"Oh, that's strange," he muttered, staring at the file in confusion.
"What?" Five asked, his frustration barely contained.
"The eye. It hasn't been purchased by a client yet."
Katerina, rubbing her cheek where Klaus had slapped her, shot Five a glare. "Seriously, Five? I got smacked for something that hasn't happened yet?"
Five ignored her, his focus entirely on the doctor. "What do you mean?" Klaus asked, leaning in closer to the file.
"Our logs say that the eye with that serial number... This can't be right. It hasn't even been manufactured yet." He looked at Five, utterly baffled. "Where did you get that eye?"
Five sighed, scowling as he turned on his heel and gestured for Katerina and Klaus to follow him out. As they walked down the hallway, the doctor stared after them, his expression one of sheer confusion. Klaus, never one to miss an opportunity for drama, turned and gave the doctor a mock salute before whipping around and stumbling a few steps, nearly tripping over his own feet.
Once outside the building, Five looked more frustrated than ever, his brow furrowed in deep thought. "Well, this is not good."
"No shit, Sherlock," Katerina responded sarcastically.
Klaus, still riding the high from his performance, grinned. "I was pretty good though, right? 'What about my consent, bitch?'" He chuckled, clearly pleased with himself.
They came to a halt at the top of the stairs, Five deep in thought. Klaus, sensing the tension, tried to lighten the mood.
"Klaus, it doesn't matter," Five began, dismissing the whole affair.
Katerina, still nursing her bruised pride (and cheek), rolled her eyes and sat down on the stairs. "Well, I, for one, think Klaus did a—"
But Klaus cut her off, "What? What? What's the big deal with this eye anyway?" Klaus asked, his tone shifting from playful to genuinely curious.
Five paused, turning to face them both. "There's someone out there who's going to lose an eye in the next seven days. They're going to bring about the end of life on Earth as we know it."
Klaus let out a small gasp before shrugging it off. "Yeah, can I get that twenty bucks like, now, or what?" he asked, his tone shifting back to casual.
"Your twenty bucks?" Five asked, his eyebrow twitching in disbelief.
"Yeah, my twenty bucks," Klaus responded dryly, crossing his arms as if this was the most important matter at hand.
Five edged closer to him, his voice rising in frustration. "The apocalypse is coming, and all you can think about is getting high?"
"I don't blame him. I'd get shit-faced right now if I could," Katerina cut in.
Klaus nodded sagely, as if this were a profound truth. "Well, I'm also quite hungry," he said, rubbing his stomach dramatically. "Tummy's-a-rumblin'," he added, imitating the sound of a growling stomach.
Five looked at them both, completely exasperated. "You're useless. You're all useless!" he shouted, throwing his hands up in the air before slumping down next to Kat on the stairs.
Klaus, ever the instigator, threw his hands up in mock surrender. "Oh, come on, you need to lighten up, old man!"
Five sighed, his shoulders slumping as he stared at the ground, avoiding eye contact with Kat.
Klaus's eyes twinkled with mischief as he leaned in, his voice lowering conspiratorially. "Hey, I just now realized why you're so uptight! You must be horny as hell!" Five shot him a deadly glare while Klaus gave a suggestive look towards Kat. She scrunched her nose in mock disgust. "Ew, no," she muttered, shaking her head.
Five let out another long sigh, clearly done with the conversation.
But Klaus wasn't done yet. He sidled up to Five, his tone more genuine. "It's gotta screw with your head, being alone."
Five paused for a moment, then spoke quietly, almost to himself. "Well... I wasn't alone."
Katerina looked at him, suspicion and curiosity flickering in her eyes. Not alone? she thought, wondering what he meant.
"Really? Is that so?" she began, her voice teasing. "What an unimaginable thought, Five actually knowing the touch of a wo—"
Five cut her off, still not meeting her eyes. "Her name was Dolores," he said with a sigh, nodding slightly as if confirming it to himself. "We were together for over thirty years."
Katerina's eyebrows shot up. Thirty years? she thought, suddenly seeing Five in a whole new light. Maybe there was more to him than just the grumpy exterior.
Klaus, always one to find humor in any situation, chuckled. "Thirty years? Oh, wow. God, the longest I've ever been with someone was, I don't know, say, three weeks? And that's only because I was too tired to find somewhere else to sleep."
Katerina rolled her eyes as she realized Five had blinked out of sight. Right, I forgot this little twerp can do that, she thought.
Klaus, noticing the silence, turned to Katerina, his grin widening. "So, Kat, what about you? What's the longest you've ever been with someone?"
Katerina sighed, leaning back against the stairs as she answered dismissively, "My only boyfriend was a piece of shit in high school. Not exactly a stellar track record."
Klaus's eyes widened in surprise, and a mischievous glint appeared. "You know, you should really try getting with Five. I bet you could—"
Katerina cut him off sharply, her tone brooking no argument. "Absolutely not."
Klaus raised his hands in mock defense. "Okay, okay, just a suggestion! But, I gotta say, he's way too old for you anyway." He squinted at her, curiosity piqued. "Speaking of which... how old are you, anyway?"
Katerina smirked, leaning closer as if she was about to reveal a big secret. "I'm 29."
Klaus's jaw dropped. "Wait, what? How is that possible?
"Well, Klaus, believe it or not, I have this" she says, opening her palm and to soft light forming around it. She gives him a sly smile. "I can heal wounds people, whatever- including wrinkles."
Klaus looked at her, utterly baffled. "No way. Show me!"
Katerina shrugged, then reached out, placing her hand over the wound on his forehead from earlier. She closed her eyes, and a faint glow emanated from her hand as the wound began to heal. Katerina winced as the transferred pain briefly flashed through her before it vanished entirely. "There. Good as new."
Klaus clapped his hands together excitedly, his eyes wide with amazement. "That was thrilling! You're like a walking, talking miracle!"
They paused for a second, the air between them filled with a strange mix of camaraderie and something else—something unspoken but understood.
Then Katerina turned to Klaus, a wild, reckless grin spreading across her face. "So, Klaus, how about we get absolutely thrashed? The world's ending, and my employer's probably sending someone to kill me in the next two days anyway."
Klaus's face lit up with delight. "Now that is the best idea I've heard all day."
•••
Around 11 PM, Klaus and Katerina stumbled out of the dimly lit bar, their arms slung around each other's shoulders as they cackled about Five's eternally grumpy demeanor. The settling night air was cool against their flushed cheeks, and the city streets were a blur of neon lights and distant car horns.
Katerina, teetering on her heels, nudged Klaus with a playful grin. "Can you imagine the look on Five's face if he ever found out we were laughing at him? He'd probably just scowl harder. Like that's even possible!"
Klaus snorted, nearly tripping over his own feet. "Oh, please! He'd give us that death glare of his—like a tiny, homicidal librarian."
Katerina let out a soft, almost affectionate laugh at the thought. "You know, I've never met anyone who could be so insufferable and yet... weirdly charming at the same time. It's almost endearing. Almost."
Klaus glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, somebody's catching feelings! Careful, Kat, the apocalypse might not be the only thing sneaking up on you."
She rolled her eyes, shoving him lightly. "Shut up, Klaus. The only thing I'm catching is a headache from listening to you." But even as she said it, she knew there was a kernel of truth in his teasing. Five was starting to grow on her—his dry wit, his relentless determination, even his grumpiness. She found herself yearning for more of those rare, fleeting moments when he let his guard down, just a little.
As they walked through the parking lot, Katerina's eyes caught sight of her car, still parked exactly where she'd left it the night before. She gasped in drunken delight. "My car! It's still here! Oh my God, I can't believe it!"
She fumbled in her pocket, grinning triumphantly when she found the keys. "This night just keeps getting better and better," she giggled as they both climbed into the car, the seats creaking under their weight.
Before turning the ignition, Katerina twisted around in her seat and dug through the back, her hand brushing against a crumpled pack of cigarettes. With a smirk, she pulled it out and offered one to Klaus.
"Fancy a smoke?" she asked, her words slurring slightly.
Klaus accepted the cigarette with a mock-serious nod. "Why, thank you, m'lady. Don't mind if I do." He lit the cigarette, taking a deep drag before exhaling with exaggerated satisfaction. "Ah, the sweet taste of terrible decisions."
Katerina chuckled, lighting her own cigarette and blowing smoke rings towards the windshield. "You know, life's funny," she mused, her voice taking on a more reflective tone. "I haven't spoken to my brother in years. Darius. We used to be so close, but when I took the job at the Commission... well, let's just say he wasn't too thrilled about me leaving."
Klaus glanced at her sideways, his usual playful demeanor softening into something more genuine. "Why don't you reach out to him? It's never too late to patch things up, especially with the world ending and all."
She shook her head, a bitter smile tugging at her lips. "He hates me, Klaus. For leaving him. For leaving our family. I didn't even look back."
Klaus sighed, taking another drag of his cigarette. "People change, Kat. Maybe he's not the same person he was back then. And maybe... neither are you."
She let his words hang in the air for a moment, the cigarette dangling from her fingers. "Yeah, well, I guess some things are better left in the past," she said, her voice trailing off as she started the car.
The drive back to the Academy was quiet, the weight of their conversation settling between them. When they finally pulled up to the grand old building, Klaus helped her gather her clothes from the backseat and led her inside to one of the guest rooms. The corridors were dark and silent, the house asleep under the watchful gaze of the moon.
Katerina pushed open the door to the guest room, the hinges creaking softly. She dumped her clothes onto a nearby chair and turned to Klaus, who was still lingering in the doorway.
"Thanks for the help," she said, her voice softening.Klaus gave her a lazy salute, his grin lopsided. "Anytime, Kat. And remember, if you need someone to make terrible decisions with, I'm your guy."
She chuckled, shaking her head as she gently closed the door behind him. The room was still and quiet, the bed invitingly soft as she sank into it. Within minutes, she was fast asleep, but her rest was anything but peaceful.
She found herself back in her childhood home, the scent of fresh-cut grass and blooming flowers filling her senses. She saw her younger brother, Darius, standing in the doorway of her old bedroom, his eyes pleading with her to stay.
"Please, Kat, don't go. We need you here," he begged, his voice trembling with desperation.
But Katerina, her face hardened with resolve, shook her head. "There's nothing left for me here, Darius. I have to leave."
The memory twisted into something darker—her brother's face contorted with anger and hurt as he shouted at her, his words cutting deep. "You're abandoning us! You're abandoning me!"
She woke with a start, her heart racing and her skin damp with sweat. Her hands fumbled for the pack of cigarettes on the nightstand, desperate to calm her frayed nerves. As she lit one, the soft glow of the flame illuminated the room, and her eyes finally adjusted to the darkness.
That's when she saw him—a shadowy figure standing in the doorway.
She squinted, her breath catching in her throat. It was Five, a green army bag slung over his shoulder. He walked in, setting the bag down with a soft thud before closing the door behind him.
"What's gotten into you? Too much booze?" he asked, standing at the edge of the bed with his hands in his pockets, his tone teasing but his gaze sharp.
Katerina looked at him with hollow eyes, barely hearing her own voice as she replied, "Nothing."She turned away, resting her elbows on the edge of the window and lighting her cigarette, the smoke curling up toward the ceiling. It helped, a little, to calm the panic still simmering in her chest.
Five edged closer, his eyes studying her carefully. "Katerina," he said, almost as if he were speaking to himself, testing the sound of her name on his lips. "Where are you from, anyway? That name isn't exactly American."
"Romania," she replied, her voice flat, almost robotic.
"Huh. Never been. What's it like?"
Katerina's gaze softened as memories flooded back—the rolling hills, the ancient forests, the small town where she grew up. "It's beautiful," she said quietly, her tone tinged with nostalgia. "The mountains, the forests... there's a wildness to it. And the people—they're tough, but they know how to laugh, even when things are hard."
Five tilted his head, smirking slightly. "Sounds like my kind of place. I bet they'd love my charm."
Katerina turned to look at him, her eyes studying his face, searching for something. After a long pause, she scoffed, letting her eyes travel up and down his disheveled appearance. "What the hell happened to you?"
Five shrugged, his expression shifting to something more serious. "Right, that. Forgot to tell you, Commission goons are back, and they're probably hunting you too. There's two of them."
She let out a humorless laugh, flicking her cigarette ash into the tray. "Of course. Wasn't expecting anything else."
She stubbed out her cigarette and turned to face him fully. Five found himself staring at her—really staring. Her white t-shirt clung slightly to her frame, and her sweatpants hung low on her hips. Her brown eyes, normally so full of playful mischief, seemed darker, more vulnerable in the dim light filtering through the curtains. They caught the glow from the streetlights outside, making them shimmer with an almost magnetic pull.
For a moment, Five couldn't tear his gaze away. There was something about her, something he hadn't noticed before. She was undeniably beautiful, but there was a hardness to her that intrigued him—a strength hidden beneath her playful exterior. He wondered what it was that had shaped her, what had made her the way she was.
Katerina broke the silence with a stupid, but somehow perfectly timed remark. "You know, if we survive this, you owe me a drink. And I mean a good one, none of that cheap whiskey you keep stashed in your room."
Five couldn't help but laugh, shaking his head at her ridiculousness. "Sure, why not? Assuming we're not dead in the next 6 days, I'll even spring for top-shelf."
She grinned, and for a moment, Five's gaze softened as he looked at her. There was something comforting in her humor, even in the face of the chaos that surrounded them.
Five approached her slowly, his gaze fixed on her face. "Do you ever miss it? I mean, uh, you know, Romania. The place, the people?" he says, continuing their last conversation.
She looked up at him, her eyes reflecting the quiet sadness of her memories. "Yes and no. Anyway, it's not about missing my family. That I definitely don't miss. It's about missing the person I used to be."
Five took a step closer, his hand reaching out to gently touch her arm. "You know, sometimes I think we're all just trying to find a place where we fit. A place where we feel at home."
Katerina's breath caught for a moment, feeling the warmth of his touch through her sweat-soaked t-shirt. She looked down at his hand, then back up into his eyes. "And do you think you've found that place?"
"Not sure," he said, his voice low and contemplative. But being here with you, even in this mess, feels... different, he thinks.
A gentle silence fell between them, the only sounds the distant hum of the Academy and the soft rustling of the leaves outside. Katerina took a step closer, their faces only inches apart. "Five, what are we doing here? What are we really looking for?"
Before he could answer, the room seemed to shrink around them, their proximity amplifying the unspoken connection. Five's eyes softened as he reached up, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "I don't know. Maybe we're both just trying to find something real in the chaos."
Katerina's heart raced as she looked into his eyes, the tension between them palpable. "And what if we find it?"
Five's fingers lingered on her cheek, his touch sending a shiver down her spine. "Then maybe we stop running."
Their faces were so close now that she could feel his breath against her skin. Katerina's voice was barely a whisper. "Maybe that's all we need."
Five's gaze dropped to her lips, his own trembling with a mixture of hesitation and longing. The air around them seemed to crackle with unspoken words and unresolved feelings. Just as their lips were about to touch, a faint knock on the door interrupted the moment.
Both of them pulled back, the bubble of intimacy abruptly burst. Five cleared his throat, stepping away, and Katerina struggled to regain her composure. The moment had been fleeting but intense, leaving both of them wondering about the path ahead.
Five turned toward the door, his voice more composed but still holding a trace of the tenderness they had just shared. "Guess we're not done yet. Let's see who's at the door."
Katerina nodded, her heart still racing as she watched him move toward the door. She took a deep breath, trying to steady her thoughts.
Five opened the door to find Allison standing there, a look of surprise on her face. "I heard unfamiliar voices coming from this room," she said, her gaze shifting between Five and Katerina. "I didn't realize I was interrupting something."
Katerina and Five both blurted out, "No!" in unison, their voices mingling in a rush.
Allison's eyes flicked to Katerina, taking in her slightly disheveled appearance, the white t-shirt, and sweatpants. "Are those my clothes?" she asked, her eyebrows arching.
Katerina, caught off guard, fumbled for words. "Uh, yes. I was just... borrowing them. Sorry, hope you don't mind." She forced a smile, trying to sound casual.
"Oh, I see," Allison replied, sensing the awkwardness in the room. She extended her hand with a friendly smile. "Hi, I'm Allison."
Katerina shook her hand, feeling a warm energy radiating from her. "Katerina."
The two women exchanged polite smiles, and Allison's easygoing demeanor made Katerina feel more at ease. "Nice to meet you, Katerina. Sorry for barging in."
"No problem at all," Katerina said, her nerves easing a bit.
Allison glanced back at Five and then at Katerina, sensing the awkward air. "Well, I'll leave you two to it. Goodnight, Five. Nice meeting you, Katerina."
As Allison walked away, Five closed the door and turned back to Katerina with a colder tone. "You should get some sleep," he said curtly.
Katerina nodded, feeling the chill of his words but understanding. "Yeah, I'll get some rest."
She walked over to the bed, trying to shake off the awkward encounter. Five watched her for a moment before closing the door and heading back to his room.
In the quiet of his own room, Five lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. His mind buzzed with confusion and frustration. Why did things feel so different tonight?
The unexpected closeness he felt earlier was unsettling. He had tried to maintain a professional distance, but the brief moment of intimacy with Katerina had shifted something inside him. It's too much, too fast, he thought, trying to rationalize the emotions swirling in his mind. We barely know each other. There's no reason to read too much into it.
He turned onto his side, running a hand through his hair. Maybe I'm just overthinking it. She's just a new ally. Nothing more. He attempted to push his feelings aside, focusing on the immediate task at hand. The Commission, the apocalypse, everything else—those are the real concerns.Five sighed deeply, letting the thoughts dissipate. He knew that keeping his emotions in check was crucial, especially with everything going on. I need to stay focused. No time for distractions, he told himself firmly.
As he drifted off to sleep, Five struggled to dismiss the lingering feelings about Katerina, pushing them into the back of his mind. For now, he needed to be sharp and vigilant, no matter what complications might arise.
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