𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐥 
Bang Chan x male oc 

❝ There's nothing weird with liking a boy, stop telling yourself there's something wrong with you, because I've never seen anyone more perfect in my life ❞ 

4100+ words 

Ryan was laying on his bed, a phone in his hands, as he was texting the famous idol. He was fully aware of how many people would kill someone just to be able to text with the Christopher Bahng, so the fact he was able to do something like this felt like a dream.

Even though the two of them have been texting for a few months already, Ryan still couldn't believe it. He couldn't figure out why someone like Chris would be his fan, watching every single one of his youtube videos even when he was so busy.

"Took you a while to answer," Chris muttered with a chuckle into the phone, making Ryan freeze. Of course it took him a while to answer when his call was completely unexpected. They've never called, only texted, so why now?

"Are you okay?" Chris spoke up again when Ryan didn't say anything.

"I am... I am good," he answered, slowly sitting up. "You- Why are you calling?" He questioned, rubbing his fingers through his hair. This was all wrong. It shouldn't be happening. He shouldn't be attracted to his voice.

"I genuinely didn't think you would pick up," the male laughed, looking around. "I am in the park close to you," Chris informed him, continuing to walk. "Wanna come?"

And just like that, Ryan was already picking up his skateboard, leaving his house to meet up with the boy he's been flirting with over texts for the past two months for the first time. He was definitely not nervous about it, how could you even think that?

On his skateboard, it took him almost no time to get to the park. He stopped, placing his feet on the ground, and with one smooth move he picked up his skateboard, walking around to find the famous boy.

"Hey," he muttered quietly when he found him. The currently black haired boy turned around immediately. "Hey, Rie," he said, trying to hold back his smile.

Ryan was now smiling too. No matter how much he hated when people outside of his family called him Rie, it felt different coming from Chris. Better, almost as if he created the nickname and it was something only he could use.

"Bang Chan in all his perfection," the younger boy chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. He had to admit, he definitely looked amazing in his white sleeveless top. "I would have never thought I'd actually get the chance to meet you."

Chris couldn't hold back his smile anymore, the boy was too cute for that. "I told you to call me Chris before, didn't I?"

"Right," Ryan nodded. "What brings you here then, Christopher?" He asked, a slight smirk appearing on his face. He had seen before what it did with Chris over texts when he called him Christopher, so seeing his reaction face-to-face was on top of his to-do list tonight.

The older male did his best to ignore the smirk on Ryan's face, slowly walking again so he wouldn't notice that his ears turned red. "I just needed a break," he mumbled, getting every thought about the way Ryan said his name out of his head.

"You? You needed a break?" Ryan caught up on him quickly, his skateboard still in his hand. "I remember very clearly how you told me last time that you don't need a break. That in fact, you can't take a break until you finish the new song," he commented, a sign of laughter in his tone of voice. "Did something else happen?" He asked again, this time more serious, and worried.

"Ah," Chris laughed awkwardly. "It's nothing, don't worry. I was almost kicked out of the dorms because Changbin and Jisung said they just needed to do something without me there, but that's normal. And while thinking about what to do...I thought about you."

Ryan raised an eyebrow at that, making his ears turn even redder. "Not like that! Oh my god," Chris exclaimed immediately. "I meant that I thought I could see you. We've been texting for a while already, you know."

"I know," Ryan laughed. "I just wanted to see your face when you realized. It's pretty cute," he proclaimed with a smile.

Chris turned his head the opposite direction, pretending that he was looking at nature as they walked, so the younger male next to him wouldn't notice his uncontrollable smile. How did he even do that to him? Chris had no idea. 

"How's your new song going?" Chan asked as they got on the bridge.

Ryan next to him tilted his head to the back, slowing down as he was currently on his skateboard. "It's finished," he answered, watching the night sky. "I am not releasing it though."

"What? Why?" Chris asked immediately, glancing at the boy. "I thought you wanted to make your own music, not just covers."

"I do, yeah, but.." Ryan stopped, slightly biting his bottom lip. "Not this one. It's just...I don't want others to hear it."

Chris sighed, with a sign of worry in his face. "Can I listen to it? Maybe it would help you build up some courage if someone close to you listened to it first."

"No, no way," he shook his head immediately. "I mean," he panicked, avoiding Chris' curious look as much as possible. "Izzy and Astran heard it already, there's no need."

"Then why don't you want to release it?" He asked, again. Ryan sighed, really not wanting to explain it to him right now. "I doubt they told you it wasn't good."

"It's not that," Ryan mumbled, stopping his skateboard completely, which made Chris stop too. "Astran said it's really good, that it surpassed all his expectations," he proclaimed, making the shorter, but older, boy smile. He was already proud of him and he hadn't even heard the song yet. "But...it's personal, I don't want all my fans to hear it and judge me," he muttered.

Chris' smile turned into another worried look. "No ones going to judge you, Ry," he said, placing his hand on Ryan's shoulder to make him feel better. "No matter what your song is about, I'll like it either way, and make others listen to it too."

"Your fans would start a lot of rumors if you just started recommending my song," he commented. "And you might also get in trouble with your company, I doubt they would like it if you started recommending everyone a song about falling for a boy even though it's wrong.."

That's why he didn't want him to hear it. Christopher realized, his hand squeezing Ryan's shoulder. "Rie, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that," he assured him. "No one will ever judge you because of who you are."

"Chris, you have no idea how things are when...you're not normal. You wouldn't know," Ryan mumbled, taking a step back so his hand wouldn't be on his shoulder anymore. "Just forget it, let's go," he proclaimed, picking up his skateboard from the ground.

"Ry, wait," the older boy sighed, but Ryan was already walking away, regretting he brought it up. "Rie, wait," he repeated, quickly grabbing onto his arm, which made the younger boy turn around.

"Chris, just ignore it, really. Let's pretend I never said anything and that I am a very normal hetero guy, alright?"

"Oh god, Ry, stop telling me to ignore it. That's the exact opposite of what I want to do," he proclaimed. He could see the pain in Ryan's eyes, but he wasn't letting it go just like that. Especially not when this could be his only chance to do something about his little crush.

"Chris, please," he whispered. "I don't want you to think any less of me." And there it was. Ryan had dropped a bomb that made Chris' heart ache. Why on earth would he think he could ever think any less of him? It was impossible, he was perfect in his eyes.

"You're so fuckin oblivious sometimes," Chris sighed, pulling the boy closer to himself, and before he could react, or even realize how close they suddenly were, he had placed his lips on Ryan's.

Ryan stood there in shock, trying to sort out his thoughts, but before he could do so, his body moved on his own. His hand wandered behind Chris' neck, pulling him even closer as he kissed him back.

This time, it was Chris who was shocked, but he definitely didn't mind. "I could never think any less than the best of you, Ry," he whispered, still only a few inches away from him. Their lips were basically still touching and they could feel each others' breath on their skin.

"Did you just.." Ryan breathed out, hiding his face in Chris' neck to hide his red face. He was freaking out right now, he couldn't give him a reason for teasing on top of that.

"I did," Chris chuckled, hugging the taller boy. His hand caressed his back gently to calm him down, while trying to calm himself down too. Did he really just kiss him? After all the talk with his members about how they can't just go and kiss anyone they want, he did the exact thing.

The two of them started walking again when they realized they were still outside, with anyone who walked past them able to see them, both of them smiling like little kids.

"You should release your song, I want to hear it," Chris proclaimed with a smile. "I know there's more people who think liking the same sex is bad, so it might help them."

Ryan didn't say anything to that. Instead, he took out his phone and earphones, connecting them together before offering the right airpod to Chris. "Take this," he said, himself putting the left one into his ear. He didn't question anything and just took the airpod from the boy. Ryan glanced at him, hesitating for a second before he played the song of his.

Christopher carefully listened to the starting melody and then the lyrics themself. He truly loved Ryan's voice and this song was only proving it to him. He was so talented, he couldn't help it and grinned even more than before.

"Were you perhaps...thinking about someone while writing those lyrics?" Chris asked carefully, giving him back the airpod.

Ryan chuckled, looking down at the ground in embarrassment. "Yeah...someone I like," he muttered with a smile on his face, refusing to look him in the eyes.

"Was it...maybe someone that likes you back?" He questioned again.

"I don't know, do you like me back?" Ryan turned the question against him, glancing at him, a hope in his eyes.

Chris' eyes widened. If this was happening through texts he would definitely start fangirling, but he couldn't right now. So instead, he took all the courage that was in him, putting it into a slight nod and a simple word; "Yeah."

Ryan definitely didn't expect that answer, so when his face became completely red, no one could blame him for it. "Your confidence somehow disappeared, sweetheart," Chris chuckled, making Ryan's mind completely blank with the nickname.

"Shut up, old man," Ryan panicked, making the shorter boy next to him laugh. He couldn't even be offended by him calling him old when he was so cute while doing so.

Ryan had come back late that night. Or should he say soon? It was already morning when he arrived back at his apartment, and immediately jumped to his bed, deciding to skip his lessons and just sleep.

Not even in his dreams could he escape the older boy. His mind just couldn't get enough of him, and apparently dreaming about their kiss was the best way his mind could cope with already missing him. He couldn't say that he would mind, it was a dream about a boy he liked after all.

When the dark haired boy woke up again, it was almost time for lunch. He tiredly turned around on his bed, giving up on getting up from his bed anytime soon. He simply reached for his phone - he knew ended up somewhere on his bed when he came back - seeing a bunch of new notifications.

His eyes widened when he noticed the amount of new followers on his youtube channel. What the hell happened over night? He quickly scrolled down through them, deciding to open the messages between him and his two best friends. At first, he thought that maybe Izzy had one of her weird moods again and decided to release his song without him knowing, but soon after he found out it was something completely different. 

It's so fruity in here  
─────────────────────  

Gay bud 
Ryan wake up 

Have you seen the news? 

Another gay bud 
Boi wake tf up 

I've been spamming you 
since I woke up 

Are you skipping school 
because of what happened 
or do you not know yet?? 

RYANNNN 

denying gay 
What are you talking about 

Gay bud 
So you don't know...? 

denying gay 
Know what? 

I just woke up, my brain isn't 
working enough for this shit 

Just tell me 

Another gay bud 
Ah well... 

Someone saw you and Chris 
hanging out 

And took a pic you might not 
like... 

denying gay 
What pic? 

Gay bud 
Of you two kissing... 

It's everywhere 

Another gay bud 
I am sorry ry 

It'll be okay though!! 

I think.. 

denying gay 
... 

Are you joking? 

Please, tell me this is one 
of your stupid ass pranks 
because this is not funny 
at all Iz 

Gay bud 
Ry... 

denying gay 
Fucking no 

Don't "Ry" me rn 

Another gay bud 
Ryan come on, it's not Astran's 
fault 

denying gay 
Iz, please, shut up 

I love you but not now 

I need to think 

───────────────────── 

Ryan closed his eyes, feeling them watering. This was not happening right now, there was no way. He kept telling himself, regretting everything. Not only was he just outed - by someone he didn't even know! - but so was Chris, and he must hate him now. "Fuck," Ryan whined, hearing another notification buzz. He glanced at his phone, after hesitating for a second deciding to open the new message.

chrizztopher  
───────────────────── 

chrizztopher 
Ryan? 

Can you call me please? 

I need to talk to you 

I think you know about what... 

Please, just don't ignore me 
yeah? I'll take care of it 

It'll be okay 

───────────────────── 

Ryan felt his eyes watering again, he would probably start crying soon. He bit onto his bottom lip, holding back the tears as he started recording a voice message to the boy, he wouldn't be able to handle a call even if he wanted. 

"Hey..." he mumbled, sighing. "I am sorry, Chris. I know you asked me to not ignore you but...let's just stop texting, it's for the better, I think. Just act like it didn't happen, say that it's photoshopped and you have no idea who I am. Maybe one day...in the future, we can talk again," he managed to say, his voice cracking only once at the very end. He sent the voice message, turning off his phone completely afterwards so he wouldn't need to deal with any other new notifications. 

Ryan had laid in his bed for another half an hour before he decided to get up because he needed to use the toilet. As if someone was spying on him, it was the exact same moment someone knocked on his front door. He stopped in the middle of the hall, confusedly watching the door. If it was any of his friends they would probably speak soon.

And he was right, a female voice spoke from the other side of the door soon after. "Ryan! Open the door, I know you're there!" Amy, he realized. He sighed, still not moving. "Please, I am being followed!" She tried to knock again, but it only made him shake his head.

"I know you're not," he proclaimed. "Amy, go away, please."

"No, open the door, we can talk about this," she said, worried for her friend.

"Who sent you? Izzy or Astran? Tell them I don't want to speak to anyone."

"Yeah, I figured when your phone is turned off," she sighed. "None of them sent me but...Minho called me," she explained. "He said Chris is having a breakdown. Not because of what happened, but because you're not answering his texts. He cares about you, Ry, a lot."

"I am doing what's best, now, leave me alone," he said, walking closer to the door. He wasn't going to open them no matter what, he was certain of that, but for some reason, he felt less sad knowing one of his friends was with him now. "Please, Ams."

Amy sighed, slightly nodding even though she knew he couldn't see her. "Okay," she agreed. "But just so you know, I love you, no matter who you like. And if you need anything, I am here for you, no matter how much you piss me off sometimes," she chuckled at the end, trying to lift up the mood. It surely worked, because Ryan chuckled too. "Just turn on your phone when you feel like talking to people again and I'll call you, okay?"

"Bye, Amy," Ryan smiled, waiting to hear her walk away before he finally went to the toilet.

Throughout the day, there were more people who tried to talk to him, but Ryan ignored all of them. No matter if it was Astran, or Bora, or even Jisung - who he was surely surprised to hear talking behind his door - he didn't open for any of them. 

And it went like that for another two days. Ryan stayed inside of his apartment, ignoring everyone and everything, just scribing the new lyrics that were appearing in his head. He couldn't help it and thought of Chris the whole time. He wished he could show the ideas to the boy, but he knew it wasn't the right time to do so. He had no idea how he handled it in the end, but he knew that no matter what it was, if anyone saw them together again it would be a problem.

"This is stupid," he whined, leaning back on his chair. He sighed, turning his head towards his bed. His eyes automatically ended up on his skateboard that was leaning against the wall right next to the bed, and he wanted nothing more but to go out and skate for a while.

Eventually, his heart won the inner fight he was having and he got up from his chair to take his skateboard. Just for a minute, he told himself, leaving his apartment.

Ryan ended up in a skatepark, smiling at the place that holds many of his memories. It was even more beautiful during the night than when he went here during the day. It was probably his favorite place ever.

He started with some simple tricks at first, just to calm down his mind and all the thoughts of his before he started speeding up, trying some of the harder stuff.

Maybe he shouldn't have done so, he realized as his leg slipped, making him fall to the ground. "Fuck," he whined, holding his ankle, trying so hard to not scream from the pain he was feeling.

"Ryan!" He heard a familiar voice behind him, and before he could even turn around to see the face for himself, the boy ran to him, kneeling down next to him. "Are you okay?" He asked, a visible worry in the tone of his voice. "Don't do tricks that could hurt you, damnit," he basically commanded, trying to see the ankle for himself to check if it was broken or just sprained.

Ryan didn't say anything, instead, he just watched the boy in front of him, holding back his tears, again. Maybe he was just weak, but seeing him hurt his heart.

Christopher looked up at him, pain in his eyes too. "You're pissing me off so much, Ry," he sighed. "Can you stop ignoring me at least face to face?"

"I am..." Ryan started, gulping. "I am sorry," he mumbled, staring into the ground. "I am going to go."

Chris' eyes started shaking, he wasn't letting him run away again, especially not when he was hurt. "No, wait," he panicked. "Ryan, wait a minute."

"Chris," he sighed. "Let's go, yeah? I'll call Izzy to come pick me up, you can go."

"No, what- Ryan, listen to me," he tried to stop him, seeing him try to get up. Obviously, it wasn't working how he would want. He had no other choice - maybe he did, but this one was the best in his opinion - how to make him stay, so he gently pushed him to the ground, leaning on him to kiss him.

Ryan's eyes widened when he felt Chris' lips on his, not pushing him away but also not kissing him back. He could see Chris' eyes watering and it hurt him, so much he thought his heart might explode. He couldn't resist it anymore and pulled the boy closer to himself, his tongue pushing itself into his mouth.

"Just listen to me, please," Chris whispered, making Ryan's heart ache again. "I like you so much, Rie, I can't just ignore you, and I hate how easily you can ignore me."

"It's not easy for me either," Ryan interrupted him. "It's so fucking hard, Chris. I can't get you out of my mind."

"Then stop trying to do so! I am right here because I want to be with you, why can't you see it?"

Ryan sighed, "but your carrier..."

"This has nothing to do with stray kids, this is about us, Ryan," Chris stopped him. "No one, and absolutely no one, can do anything about what I feel towards you, not even you by ignoring me."

"Chan..." Ryan started again, making the older boy shake his head.

"You don't get it, do you? Not only were you ignoring me for the past three days, you were ignoring everything. I don't care what people think, they can argue with the wall if they don't want me to like a boy, the only thing I care about is you, and everyone knows it."

"What...?" Ryan asked confusedly.

"While you were offline, I told everyone everything. I said the picture was real, I told them that I like you, I said it's not changing anything regarding stray kids, everyone supports us, Ry. You're the one who's against it," he explained.

"I am not against it," Ryan argued.

"Then show it to me somehow."

Ryan stared at the boy in front of him, it hurt knowing he didn't even believe he wanted him anymore, but he couldn't blame him. He would think the same if he was in his shoes.

He took a deep breath, leaning closer to him again, pressing his lips against his. "I want to be with you more than anything, Chris," he mumbled into the kiss, only getting pulled closer by the older boy when he said so. "I am just scared."

"I know you are," he nodded. "I am too, but we'll get through it together. You're not alone in it, trust me. I'll do anything to make you safe and happy," he proclaimed.

"Promise?" He asked carefully.

"Promise," Chris nodded. "Just let me help you back to your apartment so I can take care of your ankle and ask you out."

Ryan smiled at the boy, nodding. "I am sorry."

"Don't be," Chris shook his head, helping him stand up. "People argue when they care about each other, this was needed for us to work." Ryan nodded, understanding where he was coming from, but he still blamed himself for how he handled the situation. He should have just called him that morning. "Don't think about it too much, yeah?" Chris said, as if he was reading his thoughts.

"You're too great," the taller boy sighed. "Thank you."

"Always, love," he smiled, taking the boy to his car to drive him home. 

IZZY— 
I was working until now so the update is later than usual but oh well. Ryan<3 I love my boy sm