(CONTENT WARNING: SEXUAL SCENES)

Thinking of him left a sour taste in my mouth. I'd been so young and naive. I wasn't the same person I'd been back then, but sometimes whispers from my past made me question everything I'd had achieved and strived for.

Those whispers mixed with the strong alcohol I had minutes before the wedding ceremony made my head ache. On top of everything, seeing Jeonghan made it worse. Maybe I should have talked to him-

"Nari!"

Jeonghan's panicked shout pierced my ear at the same time squealing tires screeched through the night. I lifted my head, my eyes widening at the sight of headlights barreling towards me.

I had been so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't notice when I had walked into the middle of the street.

My brain screamed at me to move but my body refused to obey. So, I just stood there, frozen, waiting for the car to hit me, until an iron grip closed around my armed ad yanked me back into the sidewalk.

Momentum took over me and my face hit Jeonghan's chest. The force from the action and the spike of adrenaline combined. robbing me of words. All I could do was stand there, face pressed to his chest, while he engulfed me in a tight embrace.

"Are you okay?" His heart thundered beneath my cheek.

"I'm fine," I said hoarsely, too stunned to form a better response.

I raised my head and gulped when I saw his expression.

Concern lined his brow, but his eyes blazed and a vein visibly pulsed in his temple.

"Good." His arms tightened around me until I lost my breath all over again.

"Now what the hell were you thinking, walking out into the middle of the street like that?" His low voice vibrated with anger. "You almost got killed!"

"I..." I didn't have a good answer.
What was I supposed to say? I was too caught up in memories of him to pay attention to where I was going? I had a feeling that wouldn't fly.

"I called your name twice and you didn't even react." The pale glow from the streetlights slashed across Jeonghan's face, throwing his razor-sharp cheekbones and the hard, chiseled line of his jaw into sharp relief. "What the fuck happened?"

"Nothing. I just got distracted." Technically true. Still, my stomach twisted at what would've happened had Jeonghan not been there.

"Thank you for saving me, though I'm surprised you did." I attempted to lighten the tension blanketing the air. "I thought you'd be more liable to push me into traffic than save me from it."

"That's not funny."

"It's kind of funny."

"Not. Funny," Jeonghan repeated. He bit out each word like it was a bitter pill. "Do you think death is funny? Do you think it's fun for me to watch someone almost die?"

My smile waned. "No," I said softly.

Jeonghan released me and stepped back, his expression like
granite.

"I'm driving you home," he said flatly.

"Who knows what trouble you'll stumble into if I left you alone?"

My home was not very far from the wedding hall but that was not what I was worried about. Jin had driven me to the wedding and I had planned to go home with him but who knew something like this would happen. And seeing Jeonghan so angry, I didn't bother saying anything. I decided to call Jin after I reach home.

We drove in silence to my house.

I stepped onto the porch and fished my keys out of my bag with a shaking hand.
"You've delivered me home safe and
sound. Five stars for service, two stars for conversation," I quipped, inserting the key into the lock. "I'd give you one star on the latter, but since you saved my life, I'm being generous."

Perhaps I should've been more serious, considering Jeonghan's
mood, but when in doubt, I defaulted to sarcasm. I couldn't help it.

A muscle pulsed in his jaw. "Is everything a joke to you, or are you really that oblivious?" he demanded. "You are an adult, so I assume you have some awareness of the world around you. So stop with the fucking act. It's a play no one wants to see."

My spine hardened into iron. I recognized that tone of voice. It was the same tone he'd used when he asked for a reason for my sudden decision to end our marriage. The same one he always used when he saw me after that. Sharp. Judgmental. Self-righteous.

An angry flush scalded my face. "What's that supposed to mean?" The front door clicked open while a hard, defensive note crept into my voice.

"It means you act all tough and unbothered when it's just that. An act." Jeonghan took a step toward me. A tiny one, just enough for the tips of his shoes to kiss mine. The point of
contact acted as a channel for his anger, which funneled into me and stoked the embers of indignation burning in my stomach.

"I wouldn't care, except your recklessness doesn't affect just you. It also affects the people around you. But you never thought about that, did you?" Dull red burned on his cheekbones. "You only think about yourself. You're a scared little girl who chases highs to run from your demons, never caring about the
destruction you leave in your wake. Classic fucking Baek Nari."

It was very rare for him to get angry, tell or swear at someone. As long as I had known him, despite having certain bad habits, he had always been what his fans described him as, 'angel'. He was truly an angel who handled every situation calmly and without hurting anyone. The only three times I had seen him angry were the time when a guy in our high school tried to assault me, when I had told him about the divorce and now. But instead of remaining calm like those time, I had also decided to show my anger even after knowing that it could worsen the situation.

Deep, bone-rattling hurt stole the breath from my lungs and stung my eyes.

It wasn't just about tonight, and it wasn't just about us. It was about the past 28 years-every insult, every sneer, every argument and frustration in our lives, even if it had nothing to do with the other. It all boiled over until a crimson haze passed before my eyes and the only thing I could focus on was how angry I was. Instead of trying to calm down, I reveled in it.

Anger was good. Anger prevented me from dwelling on the truth behind his statement, and anger coated my words with venom when I spoke again.

"You're one to talk." I tilted my chin up, my eyes searing into his endless midnight ones. "Yoon Jeonghan, the angel. The adrenaline junkie. You want to talk about chasing highs? How about you putting your life on the line every time you pursue some stupidly reckless new activity? How about the fucking moral high horse you ride around on because you're a famous actor and everything you do is for the supposed greater good?"

My nails dug tiny crescents in my palms. "You're the one who can't let go of shit that happened so long ago. You lied to me, you betrayed me." I mimicked his voice. "Tough shit. That's the way the world works. You survive and get over it, or you get stuck in your own martyrdom. You say I hide behind my act? I say you hold onto your grudge because that's all you have left to hold onto. It's the only thing keeping you alive, and you don't give a damn if it hurts the people you supposedly love."

It was a low blow to match a low blow until we were both in hell, caught in the culmination of months of animosity and words we would've never uttered to anyone except each other.

Lies stripped away, truths uncovered only to be disguised as insults. Part of me was disgusted. Another part sang with exhilaration.

In a world that expected politeness and praised restraint, there was nothing more freeing than finally letting it all out. No holds barred.

Fury carved savage lines into Jeonghan's face.

"Fuck. You."

"You. Wish."

The white plumes of our breaths mingled in the mild cold. The air around us fell unnaturally still, like it was waiting with bated breath for our next move.

"I don't need to wish." His voice turned dark. Smoky. It slithered past my defenses and kindled a heat in my lower belly that had both nothing and everything to do with my anger.

"I could fuck your brains out right now. Make you take back every word you said and have you begging for more by the end of it."

What he said was something I had never imagined I would hear from him. He had definitely changed in a span of few months. I couldn't help but wonder whether I was the reason.

Knowing that it was a warning, not seduction made the fire burn even hotter in my vein.

"You know what they say about men who talk a big game." Anticipation climbed up my spine at the danger
swirling in the air. We were one step away from crossing a line we couldn't come back from, and I was riding high enough I didn't care. "They're overcompensating for the smallest
packages."

A smile slashed across Jeonghan's face, vicious enough it introduced a seed of trepidation.

"Oh, Honey. You're the one who knows just how untrue that is," he said softly.

He moved so fast I didn't get the chance to draw another breath before he yanked me against him and crushed his mouth against mine. And my world as I knew it shattered into a million pieces.

Shock glued my feet to the floor. I'd suspected this would happen, that I would push Jeonghan past his breaking point.

I'd goaded him into it, after all. But now that it was happening, I couldn't formulate a response. No words, no movement, just utter disbelief and dark, disturbing heat that raced through my veins like wildfire. The warmth from earlier had erupted into a full-blown volcano, dripping lava until every nerve ending blazed with sensation. My heart thundered with the force of a thousand galloping horses, and the pounding spread until it throbbed in every part of me-my head, my throat, the suddenly, agonizingly sensitive spot between my legs.

Jeonghan curled his hand around the back of my neck, holding me captive while he plundered my mouth. He kissed the way we fought. Hard. Rough. Explosive. I hated how much I loved it.

I regained control of my limbs and raised my hands to push him away, but to my surprise, I fisted his shirt instead. I gathered handfuls of the white blazer and yanking him closer
until we were pressed so tight against each other I wasn't sure where I ended and he began.

A small moan escaped when Jeonghan shifted his hips just enough so his hardness rubbed against my core.

"Can't get enough of me, can you?" His mocking whisper ghosted over my lips, its softness a sharp contrast to the force with which he tugged on my hair.

Tears sprang to my eyes at the flash of pain. The throbbing in my lower belly intensified.

"Fuck you," I hissed.

"I already know that's what you want, Dear." He closed his teeth around my bottom lip and tugged hard enough to send another twin frisson of pain and pleasure spiraling through my body.

"No need to beg for it."

A low growl rose in my throat. I finally shoved him off me, my heart racing and my lips and pussy throbbing in equal measure. "I will never beg you for anything."

Jeonghan wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, the movement so slow and deliberate it became more sexual than it should've been. A flush of arousal colored his high cheekbones, and the intensity of his gaze as he dragged it over my face to where my coat gaped open seared into my flesh.

"Don't be too sure about that." The embers in his eyes burnt brighter.

"Let's make a bet like the old times. I bet if I bent you over and yanked up that little dress of yours, I'd find you
soaking for me. And I bet I could have you begging for my cock, for me to make you come so hard you'll see fucking stars before the night is over."

My teeth clenched in aggravation. I hated his ego, his arrogant smirk, his everything. And yet, I was so wet I could feel myself dripping at the images his filthy words conjured.

"Nice try. But I'm not taking the bait."

It was the coward's way out, but I was one touch away from detonating, and I refused to give Josh the satisfaction of being the one to press the button.

"Didn't think you would," he taunted.

"Scared, Nari?"

"Can't take a hint, Jeonghan?"

We glared at each other, our anger tangible in the cold night air, before the gap between us disappeared and our mouths crashed against each other again. Harder, more desperate than the first time, our tongues fighting for dominance while our hands roamed over every inch of skin.

He pushed me through the half-open door and kicked it shut behind us without breaking the kiss.

Our fingers flew over our clothes in a frantic rush to remove them.

My coat. His blazer. My dress. His shirt and pants.

They all fell to the living room floor until we were naked, our skin heated with the hum of electricity surging through my blood and in the air.

"Get on your hands and knees." My skin pebbled with goosebumps at Jeonghan's rough command, but instead of obeying, I lifted my chin in defiance.

"Make me."

The words barely left my mouth before he closed the distance between us in two strides and twisted me around. He drove his knee into the back of mine, forcing me to the ground. I struggled half-heartedly, but I was no match for his strength.

One hand locked my wrists together behind my back in a steel grip while the other slipped between my legs and rubbed my swollen clit.

The jolt of pleasure wrenched a half gasp, half moan from my throat.

"What was that you were saying?" Jeonghan mocked.

He pushed a finger inside me while keeping his thumb on my clit. I was so wet I didn't feel any friction even when he was knuckles deep in me.

"Just like I'd guessed. You're fucking
soaking."

My hands curled into fists. I was already panting, so turned on I could barely think straight, and we'd barely started.

"Beg for it, Honey." He curled his finger and hit my most sensitive spot, eliciting another moan, before he slowly dragged it out and shoved it back in. His breathing harshened.

"Beg me to fuck you. To make you come all over my cock like you so desperately crave."

"You wish." My nails dug into my palms.
"My vibrator does a better job than you. On its lowest speed."

Jeonghan let out a soft laugh. "You have to make things difficult." He released my wrists and fisted my hair, jerking my head back until his mouth hovered near my ear.

"But I love a good fight."

My response died on my tongue when he thrust another finger inside me. In, out, in, out, faster and faster until the
telltale tingles of an impending orgasm gathered at the base of my spine. He reached around and pinched my nipple, and a full-body shudder rolled through me right as the-

He yanked his hands away.

No!

My body slumped forward on all fours without his support, and I let out a small scream of frustration at the ruined orgasm.

I twisted my head around to glare at him. "You fucking bastard."

My only solace was that I wasn't the only one suffering.

Hiss chest heaved with deep, ragged breaths, and his cock jutted straight up, so hard it looked painful. A blade of moonlight sliced through the windows and cast sharp shadows
across his face, highlighting the stony set of his jaw and the blaze of lust in his eyes.

"You know what to do if you want to come." His mouth curved as he pushed my legs further apart. "Look at you. You're a mess."

I didn't have to see myself to know he was right. Wetness slicked my thighs, and every brush of air against my bare pussy triggered another needy shudder. Still, I clung on to enough of my rational brain to twist the
situation back on him.

Two could play his mind games.

"Scared you can't live up to your promise?" I purred.

"What happened to fucking the attitude out of me? You talk a big game, but it looks like you're lacking in follow-through." I dropped a pointed glance to his arousal.

Despite my taunt, my core clenched at the sight before me.

Jeonghan had always been too lazy to workout but I could see the results of working out once in a blue moon to keep his body fit for acting. He had naturally broad shoulders, not very defined abs but it looked good enough when seen from so close, since he had to wear sleeveless tops often, the only work out he did was for his arms and it was quite visible when looked at his sculpted arms...and a long, thick cock that looked like it could wreck me with little effort.

My mouth dried.

He leaned forward and, without taking his eyes off mine, slowly wrapped one hand around my throat. He squeezed hard enough to cut off my breath for several beats before he
loosened his grip. I gasped in a lungful of air, my head swimming from the brief deprivation of oxygen.

"One of these days," he said. "That mouth of yours is going to get you into trouble."

I didn't get a chance to respond before he slammed into me from behind with a vicious thrust. A scream ripped from my throat at the painful stretch of his size and the roughness with
which he fucked me. Tears sprung to my eyes, but my scream eventually faded into a string of mindless whimpers and squeals as he pounded into me.

"What was that?" His breath grazed my cheek.

"You always have so much to say. Where are your words now,
hmm?"

"Go. To. Hell," I panted. It was the only sentence I could manage before another sharp thrust scrambled my thoughts.

His dark chuckle reverberated through me. "You're my personal hell, Honey."

The way he called me 'Honey' had always seemed so sweet. It was a nickname he had given me when we used to play around and acted as if we were married. After that it never stopped. He kept calling me by that name till my announcement. After that he had so much hatred for me that he never even talked to me. If I had heard him calling me 'Honey' in any other situation. I would have jumped with happiness but today it sounded different. Obviously.

It was filled with hatred, lust, anger and so many more but the list did not include love.

He gave my hair another sharp tug, stopping me from dwelling into the past.

"And God help me, I don't want to fucking leave."

Before I could untangle the meaning behind his words, he flipped me around so I was on my back. He kept his hand on my throat, pressing me into the ground while he propped my leg on his shoulder. At this angle, he hit spots I didn't even know existed.

My nails dug into his skin, partly out of instinct and partly as payback for what he was doing to me right now, not that I wasn't enjoying.

Satisfaction bloomed on my lips at his pained hiss when I raked them down his back. In retaliation, he fucked me even harder until our groans and the furious slap of our bodies against each other were the only sounds in the dark space.

I deliberately clenched around him until Jeonghan let out a low hiss.

Sweat beaded on his brow; tension lined his face and turned it into granite.

"Seems like I'm not the only one who needs to come," I taunted.

I clenched again, and his hiss morphed into a curse.

"I was going to take it easy on you. But now..." He pressed harder against my throat until faint spots danced across my vision and the heat blazed hotter in my body.

"We'll have to do it the hard way."
His next thrust was so savage I lost whatever breath I had left.

Nothing about what we were doing was sweet or sensual.

It wasn't about emotional connection. It wasn't even about physical attraction, no matter how wet I was or how much he ruined me. We fucked like it was our catharsis, a purge of everything dark and ugly that'd festered over the years. There
was a certain liberation in not giving a fuck what the other person thought about you. We could be the worst, most untamed versions of ourselves, and in a world where everyone tried to fit everything into neat little boxes, it was as exhilarating as it was painful.

But as good as it felt, my orgasm remained out of reach.

Every time I grazed it, he would slow down, drawing out our session of furious, exquisite torture.

"Beg me, Honey." He reached between us and stroked my clit, sending another sharp burst of pleasure through my body.

"Tell me how much you need to come." He scraped his teeth against my neck and sucked hard.

"How much you need me to make you come."

Normally, I would make a joke about self-esteem issues, but I was too gone to think clearly.

"No." My refusal sounded weak to my own ears. I was too desperate for relief. It was only a matter of time before I caved, but I sure as hell could put up a fight before I did.

"No?" He eased his thrusts, and another scream of frustration welled in my throat.

Fucking sadistic asshole.

"I hate you," I moaned. I rolled my hips, seeking the friction I needed to no avail.

"I'm counting on it." His eyes glittered down at me. "Use your words, Honey, or we'll be here all night."

He slid into me with torturous slowness again.

I couldn't hold back my pathetic whimpers as he played with me, edging me over and over until I was about to lose my damn mind.

"Please." I choked out the word.

"Please what?"

"Please let me come." The words faded into a moan as he increased his speed.

"You can do better than that." Sweat gleamed on his skin,and taut muscles corded his neck. Holding back tortured him as much as it did me, but I couldn't take much satisfaction
from that when I was on the knife's edge of insanity.

An electric spike of sensation speared through me when he
hit that spot.

"Jeonghan, please," I sobbed, not caring anymore.

"I can't-"

"I need-"

"Please..."

Me saying his name must've snapped something inside him, because he finally stopped teasing and started fucking me with full force again.

"You feel so fucking good," he growled. "I had forgotten how good it felt. Well...it wasn't so good. I was into vanilla sex back then because I was afraid of hurting you but now hurting you gives me so much pleasure."

I was a little shocked at what he said but I couldn't blame him.

"You love my cock wrecking that tight little pussy, don't you?"

"Yes." I gasped, forgetting how much his words hurt me.

"Yes, God, please. I'm going to...I'm...Oh God, oh fuck!" I screamed as white-hot pleasure blazed through me. Every thought and memory incinerated, leaving only mind-numbing pleasure in their wake.

Jeonghan kept fucking me, and another orgasm chased the first one, followed by another. They rolled on and on, wringing me out until I was little more than a boneless heap on the floor.

After my third or fourth orgasm, he finally came, and we lay there, our breaths heavy in the sudden quiet, before he pushed himself off me.

I watched him dress in silence, the import of what we did hitting me.

I'd had sex with Yoon Jeonghan. My ex-husband and one of the people I despised most...or maybe not. And not just any sex. Angry, toe-curling, brain-melting sex. Sex where I'd begged for more and came so hard I still felt the aftereffects.

Oh my God. My stomach lurched.
What have I done?