fᵣₒₘ ₘₐₜₜ,

the more people surrounded her, the more lonely arielle felt.

it felt almost like mockery. people holding hands and chattering. all crinkle-eyed smiles and toothy grins. they were sipping on their overpriced coffee, talking about their lives. all whilst arielle sat at the corner of the starbucks outlet, half a doughnut on a plate and an empty cup. her cup was completely empty - even the caramel drizzle around the cup was wiped clean. proof that she had spent way too long moping at the corner, waiting for matt to show up.

"tardy asshole," the girl whispered under her breath.

if the lighting in the coffee shop wasn't so dim-lit, the whole outlet would see the gloomy face on arielle's face. if somebody measured her pout length, it could compare to a duck's beak. countless times she checked her watch, then her notification bar like clockwork. only to be disappointed. time continued to move forward, yet no texts from matt whatsoever. she felt like a little girl waiting for her parents to arrive from work all over again.

more people entered starbucks, to the point where there was a queue. arielle took it as her cue to leave the store, she didn't want to be an asshole who'd take up so much space and not order anything. the day she becomes that type of person would be the day the clouds rain gold.

four hours had passed by, but matt still hasn't come around. the sun began to set, creating a marmalade line on the horizon. arielle watched from the mall rooftop, recording the scenery with her camera. she adored sunsets much more than she did sunrises. for one, you wouldn't have to wake at the break of dawn to witness a sunset, and secondly, she enjoyed how the world seemed to settle down as the sun sets. how people would slow down and just stare at the sky. she loved it. she wished she had the capability to stop and awe people like sunsets do.

a deep sigh. the sunset was able to calm her down for a moment, until worry began clouding her thoughts back again. at first she was fueled with anger, cussing matt's name in her head but the more hours passed, the more worry began to cloud her. matt would never leave her hanging. especially when she's all alone. matt wouldn't even dare to leave her side whenever they go out together, something about matt having the responsibility to protect her. he would stay by her side with her hands wrapped around his arms, and glared at any guy who got too close to her. she used to call it idiotic, said that she didn't need a shorter boy to protect her. but at that moment, when she didn't have matt by her side, she started feeling vulnerable. scared that she didn't have matt's arm to hold.

"this can't be," she monologued, heading out of the rooftop entrance, "he must've had an accident or something. maybe the idiot got lost in the mall."

anxiously, arielle checked every parking lot in the mall. her green eyes wildly searched for matt's van in hopes the boy already arrived but got lost in the mall. he never had the best sense of direction, after all. you could go to a specific mall with him a hundred times but he'll forget the way each time.

the familiar van wasn't seen.

like friendships, malls don't last forever. at 10 pm, arielle was forced to exit the mall. pathetically, she sat at the stairs of the entrance, staring into nothingness. the embarrassment from being stood up was eating her alive. she contemplated hers and matt's friendship - how one-sided it has been lately. everything came crashing back to her - the way she'd make effort to talk, set up a hangout, yadda yadda - only for matt to not even show up. at that very moment, she didn't know how to feel. worry, because something might've happened to his best friend or anger because perhaps, matt had simply forgotten.

"oh my god ari, you're still here," a familiar voice shook arielle.

her head snapped towards matt who was bent forward, palms clasped on kneecaps as he steadied his breaths. arielle immediately went to mother mode, inspecting matt's body for any injuries.

"i knew you wouldn't forget! matty, are you okay? did you get into an accident?" she rambled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she checked matt's arms.

the brunette boy waved her off, shaking his head.

"no i'm okay, ari, really," matt ensured, flashing a small smile, "was at a party and i sort of got caught up. sorry."

sorry?

the audacity.

arielle had to take a moment to let his words sink in, like she couldn't believe that matthew, in fact, had forgotten. she bit the inside of her cheeks, and so her cheeks were sucked in. it scared matt, who stood before her dumbfounded.

"i'm really, sorry. really. swear to god."

"you can't just ghost me for like, ages in a bloody mall and just say sorry, matthew," arielle finally spoke, "it doesn't work that way. it's so unfair matt. you can't just do me like this."

"i said i'm sorry, ari. i know, i was a total asshole for blowing you off but i swear it really slipped my mind. i'm sorry, just please, let me make it up to you."

a frown appeared on arielle's porcelain visage, "sorry won't cut it matthew. not this time."

the moonlight barely glowed, as though it was mirroring arielle and matt. the usual crickets weren't singing either, giving room for the two to argue. it was all tension and pent-up anger.

matt licked his lower lip as his pointer picked on his thumb. he picked and picked on his skin 'til his thumb was slightly bleeding. the act surely hurt but he didn't seem fazed - simply stared at arielle's disappointed face. neither had a thing to say - a contrast to all those years spent with each other, constantly filling their surroundings with laughters.arielle's worst nightmare had came true - they changed.

"i don't know what to say anymore," matt breathed out - he never held his breath but somehow, it felt like he was.

"i'm sorry for disappointing you," he added, "i don't know what else to say besides i'm sorry."

"am i not good enough of a friend for you?"

the sentence rolled off arielle porter's tongue before she could bite it.

"what?"

"am i not good enough of a friend for you?"

matt shook his head, "let's not go there, ari."

"no," arielle insisted, eyes boring holes into matt's, "let's go there. let's talk about it. let's talk about how you were gone for months and never bothered to start a conversation with me. let's talk about -"

"stop it, arielle. stop it."

"- what do you think i am? a stool? a paper towel? your disposable friend? i waited for you at the mall like an idiot, matt. for what? five hours? how long, huh? how long were you at that party, matt?"

"stop."

"i'm not going to stop!" her voice boomed - she was no longer speaking, rather spitting alphabets like venom. her chest no longer moved with ease, it heaved as she breathed.

"you can't tell me to stop - i'll stop once you stop acting so mean. you've been so mean, matty," there was a switch from anger to sadness, how tears began to pool in green eyes, "you've been so mean."

matt's heart shattered into pieces.

"i'm sorry," his voice was shaky, "shit, i've been such an asshole. i'm sorry."

"am i," words got stuck in her throat while she breathed out, "am i still your best friend?"

the boy knew he severely messed things up when he had to hear that question leave his best friend's mouth. he knew he had let arielle down big time when the usual confident girl had to ask such a question. arielle was his best friend, it's a no brainer. nobody could ever come close to her, and it hurt to know that he wasn't doing good as a best friend to see her such a wreck. eyes welled up with tears, lips quivering, hands balled up into a fist and breathing pattern a mess.

"of course you're still my best friend."

"it doesn't feel like it."

"and i'm sorry."

"i'm tired of hearing you say sorry," she spat, clutching on the straps of her bag, "i'm going home."

"no it's like almost midnight, let me drive you home."

"nah. you go back to those friends you replaced me with."

the sentence hurt matt more than it should've.

he watched arielle walk away, head hung low. from the back he could see her wiping away stray tears from rosy cheeks and god - only god knew how horrible he felt.

✧

arielle was good at hiding - matt'll give her that.

it took him approximately two weeks to locate her. two agonizing weeks where he couldn't eat nor sleep. hell, he felt bad to simply breathe.

cora's diner was one of arielle's most hated places. she found the french toasts to soggy, and the waitresses on rollerskates too breast-y. matt used to poke fun at her and say that she disliked them because she didn't have any. he earned a smack across the head for the comment. the neon lights decorating the 90s diner was the same as matt remembered. a disco ball in the middle of the diner and fluffy bar stools. the sounds of rollerskates rolling across the floor rang in matt's ears as anxiety ate him whole.

arielle was sitting in one of the booths, with cooper sitting infront of her. the french toast was truly incredibly soggy. matt even pulled a face when he caught glimpse of her plate. he observed the two conversing - cooper talkative as ever.

he sighed. gathering up the courage to finally speak to arielle was tough - with cooper, in front of them? even tougher. cooper was the type of guy everyone wants to impress. not because he was judgemental - he was just so cool, you wouldn't want him to catch sight of your flaws.

"yo matt!" cooper's voice called out.

matt lifted his head to look at cooper. he awkwardly smiled and waved. the other boy smiled back - one of his bright and charming smiles as he gestured for matt to come over. arielle on the other hand, had no reaction. she already saw matt entering the diner.here goes nothing.

"hey," matt greeted, "cooper, can i talk to arielle alone for a sec?"

"oh," cooper's lips formed into an 'o', nodding profusely, "yeah dude. sure, sure, take your time."the athlete slid out of the booth, then out through the door. matt wasted no time to sit in front of arielle.

"what do you want?"

she placed both her hands on the table, the same look on her face that night plastered across her face once more. matt hated that look. the look of utter disappointment, like he was a lost cause. had he really disappointed her that much? probably.

"i want to say that i'm sorry."

arielle sighed.

"again?"

"sincerely this time," matt continued, "i did a lot of reflecting and realized what a total douchebag i had been. it's just that all those months, i expected you to start a conversation first. yet you didn't, so i just assumed that you were mad at me for having to stay at la for so long. but i realized that it makes total sense that you would want me to start a conversation first, i was the one that went away after all."

arielle's face softened.

"matt - i could never be mad at you for pursuing your dreams."

softly, she placed her hand on top of matt's on the table. he could feel her soft grip - a reassurance. a much-needed reassurance.

matt sighed of relief, earning a chuckle from arielle.

"thank you. and for the record, i could never replace you. you're the best best friend someone could ask for."

"that was so sappy bernard - geez, come and give me a hug."

she really could never be mad at him for too long.

✧

note from rin .ᐟ

an overdue update!!! i'm sorry i haven't been as active, i've been preparing for university 😟 it's been supeeeer hectic.

anyways!! i hope you guys liked this chappy <3 lmk what y'all think mwa!