WHEN HOME ISN'T A HOUSE.

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CARRY YOUR THRONE (book one).
°•        CHAPTER SIX        •°

"        TRY IT AND DIE.       "

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THE LIGHT PRESSURE OF PAIN ON ASPEN'S WRIST DIDN'T LINGER FOR TOO LONG. It was gone by the time she laid down for rest that night. The puncture holes from the needles were still there, though, proof that she was once under The Ark's control. No longer. Never again. The permanent reminder comforted her into she was rested into what should have been a peaceful slumber. It would have been so if the tiny, punctured holes in her skin weren't a permanent reminder of her loved ones. What were they thinking? Did they know Aspen's vitals went out? Did they care at all? Or was it possible they've already forgotten her?

She knows to dwell on these questions and letting them haunt her helps nothing, but she can't help it. All Aspen could do was admire the stars and pretend they were watching her too. That's what finally sends her drifting off.

It wasn't only the Alonso family, Raven Reyes, and Jax Harvey that kept Aspen from having her beauty sleep. Jasper Jordan had woke up in his own personal hell. She wanted to feel bad every time she heard the kid scream every time he shifted the wrong way in his sleep, but excuse her for the crankiness from lack of sleep. Aspen dared one delinquent to get on her nerves that morning as she stormed through the camp with raven hair disheveled, heavy bags circling scowling eyes, and lips pinched into a threatening frown. Fists or knives would start flying depending on her mood and what line they'd cross.

But that mood changes quickly. It's difficult to spot through the tiredness, but waves of guilt wash through Aspen when she sees Jasper's state. He looks dead. He's ghostly pale, thin limbs twitching, with either a groan or wail of pain passing through his cracked, bloody lips every minute or so. Aspen can't imagine how he's suffering. The grounders sent a spear through his chest. It's beyond her how he's still alive in such a state.

Maybe Clarke Griffin is a reason for that. Aspen wondered if the princess had slept at all instead of taking care of Jasper. She's acting as a nurse, carefully tending to the wound open in his chest. Aspen can tell she's doing her best, but the anxiety of causing one wrong move is holding her back from the true potential she has yet to discover.

But Clarke is smart in a way Aspen admires, wishes she was. There was so far nothing she's done that hasn't amazed her. She watches in silence as Clarke briefly studies the injury staring back at her, unaware of the audience around her. Aspen doesn't know if she's speaking to the others or mumbling to herself when she states, "The grounders cauterized the wound. It saved his life."

"Saved his life so they could string him up for live bait." Finn paces the top level of the dropship with a shake of his head. His voice is barely above a mumble. "Garden of Eden this ain't."

A chill crawls up Aspen's spine. She tugs at the sleeves of her jacket for the warmth that would hide it. She loves this planet. She loves it so much more than space. Aspen just never imagined the horrors it would bring that she would have to brave.

"This is infected. He could be septic," Clarke announces with a heavy heart after an even heavier silence. She shifts to look over her shoulder. "Any progress on using the wristband to contact the Ark?" She asks.

Their engineer, Monty, was busy surfing through what little supplies they could strip - or so Aspen thought. She sees he actually had been silent this entire time because he was too busy staring at his best friend. His expression, so full of sorrow and desperation, breaks Aspen's heart a little more. She couldn't bear something like this if one of her best friends was in the same position.

"Monty?" Clarke exclaims when she doesn't receive an answer.

His head snaps in her direction as he is forcefully yanked back to their painful reality. Monty shook his head. "That would be a firm no," he says quietly.

"A firm no for now." Aspen bends her knee and rests her arm over it. "Monty Green, I have full faith in you and your genius little head," she encourages with confidence. Monty smiles. It's faint, nearly hidden in the dim light, but Aspen sees it. It starts to mend her heart that it could lift his spirit, that is, until Jasper cries out again beneath them.

The horrible sound wipes Monty's smile away and sends his focus on the wristbands again. Aspen is almost terrified to touch Jasper in fear he'd crumble before her, but her fingers tremble as they gently comb through his sweat-slicked, dark hair. The damp curls stick to her skin as Jasper lets out a few series of grunts. Aspen wishes a simple touch of comfort could bring more to him.

Clarke watches as Aspen rakes her hand through Jasper's hair slower with each movement. Her shoulders slump with tiredness as if the exhaustion was starting to sink in. "My mother would know what to do," she whispers.

"Maybe." Aspen pulls her hand away from Jasper to squeeze Clarke's knee. She knows the girl longed for Doctor Griffin, her mother, and she had every right to do so. But she wasn't here. "But she's not here. You are. And what would you do?" Aspen questions firmly.

"I - I mean, I don't know," Clarke stammers. She uncomfortably shifts and observes Jasper again. Her blue eyes flicker across the injury as she struggles through an internal panic. "It's infected because - 'cause the cauterizing didn't work, right? Bacteria could have still - "

She suddenly stops when the dropship ladder creaks and the door's latch flew open. Four heads immediately turn to the sound in alarm. Aspen can't say she's relieved to see it's Wells of all people. His dark eyes fill with concern as he joins the group who barely act at the sight of him. He's hesitant, but curious, when he asks, "How's he doing?"

"How does it look like he's doing, Wells?!" Clarke snaps. Her rising voice echoes and bounces off the closed dropship walls.

Wells reels back like Clarke physically struck him. He squats on the other side of her and she pushes her legs closer to Aspen, the lesser of two evils. "Hey," he defends quietly, "I'm just trying to help." Aspen can't comprehend how Wells remained pacific when it seemed like every delinquent was against his existence. She almost pitied that.

"Right." Clarke refuses to meet Wells's eyes. She only eyes Jasper again closely, the gears in her head turning as she thinks long and hard about the boy groaning in pain below her. "You want to help? Hold him down."

They stare at Clarke in confusion for a swift second before their minds catch up with hers. Wells presses both hands on Jasper's long legs and Aspen leans past Clarke to pin his chest against the floor. She's careful not to apply any pressure on the wound, but she figures that would be less painless than what Clarke had in mind when a silver blade shimmers in her hand.

"I'm not gonna like this, am I?" Monty, who had grew paralyzed at the knife he sees, guesses with fear.

Aspen wishes she could shut her eyes when Clarke lowers the weapon and pierces Jasper's skin with it. The sight of blood had always made her nauseous and the scream of agony Jasper lets out doesn't help, but she can't move. She can't risk hurting him further. Aspen has been given no choice but to watch in dismay as Clarke forces a steady hand to torture him to save his life.

"Hold him still!" Clarke warns them when Jasper starts to thrash. Wells tightens his grip. Aspen doesn't know what to do. It's so hard for her to listen to someone in so much pain. She's positive Jasper was praying to die instead. Death would have been an easier choice that he couldn't take on his own yet. It was up to fate and Clarke's hands.

The ladder behind them squeaks behind them with the new weight. Octavia had been drawn to them by Jasper's screaming and falls to her knees beside Clarke. "Stop it!" She begs. Her green eyes widen as the flesh starts to peel away from being sliced into. "You're killing him!"

"Look at the wound - it's turning green. She's trying to save his life," Aspen tells Octavia gently. The girl doesn't like it if the way her lips thin from being pressed together says anything, but she doesn't protest the matter further. She only clenches Jasper's hand like a lifeline.

The knife finally breaks through and the procedure Clarke was performing was over. Aspen feels Jasper's stomach release the tight clench it held under her arms as he relaxes against the ground once more. She was concerned that he finally slipped away, but she could still feel his chest rise and fall underneath her. Aspen lets out a puff of air and relaxes back again. She can feel her heartbeat start to slow to a regular pace again. Jasper wasn't alright at all, but he was alive. That's what mattered.

"She can't," a voice interrupted them. Aspen's startled as she hadn't heard anyone follow them up. That fades when she realizes it's only Bellamy. He must have overheard what she told Octavia by the grave look on his face.

Wells rose to his feet. He sends Bellamy a glare with, "Back off."

"We didn't drag him through miles of woods just to let him die," Clarke reminds Bellamy. The words are spit out sharply and Aspen doesn't know if she's trying to convince herself or him more.

"Kid's a goner. If you can't see that, you're deluded. He's making people crazy," Bellamy argues.

"Sorry if Jasper's an inconvenience to you, but this isn't the Ark. Down here, every life matters," Clarke declares. She leaves little to no room for argument and Aspen faintly smiles with admiration until it's gone due to Bellamy.

"Take a look at him. He's a lost cause."

Aspen's head snaps towards Bellamy. "The only lost cause around here is you." She presses her palms on the steel flooring and uses her knees to stand. She tilts her head back to stare Bellamy directly in the eye until she's appearing as the deadly one, threatening to stick a knife in someone just for existing. "You're pathetic. What is it with men and thinking power makes them look bigger down south?"

She watches in pleasure as Bellamy's jaw snaps shut. He has nothing to say that could make him look above Aspen. The masculine insecurity he has is no match for a woman like her.

"Back off," is all Bellamy whispers gravely.

"You're the man." Aspen spits the word sarcastically before she takes another step forward until her chest bumps Bellamy's. "Make me."

Their spat comes to a stop when Wells plants himself in between the spitfire and the wannabe leader. "Let's take it easy, guys," the mediator suggests quietly.

Aspen nearly throws her first of many punches of the day. The son of Chancellor Jaha is the last person she needed to defend her and attempt to shield. She could protect herself from Bellamy of all people without anyone's help. Plus she's still a little pissed off that Wells managed to snag Bellamy's gun from her without her noticing.

"Take it easy," Bellamy parrots him with a scoff. His attention averted to Aspen again. "That's funny coming from you, the girl trying to lead a rev - "

Aspen lunges before he could finish. Her hands tightly clench with every intention to catch Bellamy in her crossfire of sudden rage but she's stopped when Wells throws his arm in front of her. She tries to shove him aside, but it's no use. Wells's force is too heavy. He refuses to allow Aspen to attack Bellamy no matter how much he deserves it.

"Bite me," is all Aspen can snarl if she can't pound his face in.

If Aspen's fury hadn't clouded her head, she would have used the minute she had to wonder how Bellamy Blake knew about her plans to revolt.

The soft but firm voice of Clarke quickly calms Aspen in the midst of her struggle as she cuts in. "Look, guys, I - No matter who Pen was on the Ark, I'm the one who spent my whole life watching my mother heal people. Octavia, if I say there's hope, there's hope."

"This isn't about hope. It's about guts. You don't have the guts to make the hard choices," Bellamy accuses coldly. "I do." He takes one last look at Jasper. "He's been like this for three days. If he's not better by tomorrow, I'll kill him myself."

Aspen rolls her eyes and flicks the stray hairs that brushed against her face during her fit out of the way. "Try it and die," she mutters with sarcasm that tastes like honey on her tongue. Bellamy would have to get through many of them if he wanted to kill Jasper in cold blood. They were an army of soldiers that would protect him if need be.

Bellamy must decide that's the end for him and he's no longer welcome on this level of the dropship. He retreats to the ladder again with a, "Octavia, let's go," thrown over his shoulder.

"I'm staying here," Octavia spat without as so much as a glance in her brother's direction.

He watches for a minute. Aspen is the only one who holds eye contact. She refuses to break it first because she wants Bellamy to know who's really in charge. The intense gaze makes him crumble and tense all at the same time as he leaves them alone.

"Power-hungry, self-serving jackass," Monty angrily says when he's gone. He shakes his head in dismay. "He doesn't care about anyone but himself." Monty falls into a pause when Octavia's face fell. "No offense," he offers, but Octavia merely shrugs like it hadn't bothered her.

"Yeah, Bellamy is all that," Finn agrees. Aspen would have nodded towards one of her best friends if he ended it there. However, he adds, "But he also happens to be right."

"You're kidding me, right, Spacewalker?" Aspen demanded. It was sad, really, how the fear of death was getting to everyone; specifically the men. "Guys are more pathetic than I thought." Yet another roll of her eyes catches Monty and she tacks on, "Sorry. No offense."

"None taken."

Sweat dripping like beads drip down Clarke's forehead is wiped away by the back of her stained hand. Aspen frowns. She can see the stress was going to start suffocating Clarke soon. She knows holding the life of a friend in your hands must be an unbearable burden to carry. Aspen wishes she could do more than be empathetic to how she feels.

This is why starting a revolution for equality was important to Aspen. Because she didn't want people to suffer anymore.

"I need some air," Clarke whispers. "Octavia, could you - "

She doesn't even have to finish. "On it," Octavia promises wordlessly to look over Jasper even if she couldn't get through to her brother. Clarke smiles in silent thanks before leaving.

Aspen realizes when she's gone that she isn't the only one who watched Clarke leave. Finn had too and she can tell he's interested. It breaks her heart a little more when he stands and follows her trail almost desperately. "Finn," is all Aspen can say, but it's helpless. Pathetic.

He shrugs. Simple. "She shouldn't be alone," he defends. Aspen says nothing. She's fallen into silence as Finn takes off after Clarke like she never existed at all.

It makes Aspen ponder what hurts a little more. She was so lost that she didn't notice that Wells left too. Finn was acting like she never existed and that sucked. They were supposed to stick together, weren't they? It only made sense. Aspen, Finn, Raven, and Jax. That's how it always was. While the other two were still on a floating station in space, he shouldn't abandon Aspen here. She felt like a second choice, something she's felt her entire life.

Then there was Clarke. She wasn't an object or a prize to be won. Why did Finn feel the need to compete with Aspen for Clarke's attention when he had an amazing, brilliant girlfriend already in space? It didn't only make her feel uncomfortable because of her admiration for the certain blonde. Aspen didn't think it was right to do. But what could she say? How could she go against her best friend or speak to him about it when he isn't even around anymore?

Aspen curses herself for only thinking of her own struggles while Jasper is probably dying in front of her. Guilt stabs her in the gut. Her problems seem so minor to what everyone else is facing, but maybe that's just a voice in the back of her head telling her so.

This was Aspen's norm. She had listened to her parents belittling for so long that it became a way of life. If she messed up stealing, she was useless. If she was scared, she was a coward. If she cared about someone enough that her heart could explode with it, she was weak. These were consequences drilled in her head so deeply that Aspen was torn down the middle. This was her tragic upbringing and the worst thing was... She hadn't even realized it because it was so normal for her. There was nothing else she knew.

This was her messed up life. Aspen hates everything she does because she learned it from them, the Alonso's.

Aspen was so lost in her own maze-filled mind that she hadn't realized that she mumbles, "What about you, huh? What about your family?" with a gentle hand stroking Jasper's jawline to his cheek. She feels his skin shiver under her touch before he's moaning in pain again. Aspen's lips pull into a deep frown after she winces at the sound. "I bet they need you here."

"They're as great as he is. Smart and all," Monty speaks up. He returned to his original spot by the wristbands instead of his best friend's side and Aspen can see how it pains him to have the distance between them.

"Family," Octavia echoes with a scoff. She runs a hand through her straight hair in wordless frustration. Aspen and Monty are patient as she tries to speak, the only sounds heard coming from Jasper before, "I got my mother killed."

Octavia's firm declaration leaves the other two speechless. They couldn't possibly understand how she felt. It was hard to even empathize. Every action Octavia makes, the tossing of a washcloth into a bucket of water, squeezing the excess, is forceful until she drapes it across Jasper's forehead. The cool treatment is what ceases his cries for now.

"Octavia," Aspen says softly before she reaches over and grabs the girl's wet hand, "You were not responsible for your mother's choices. She wanted you to live." She waits until Octavia seems touched to squeeze her hand and let go. "I was fighting on the Ark, you know, for everyone to be treated the same. For the laws to be lenient, fair." Aspen pauses.

The laugh she lets out next is short and bitter. "I wanted to be a revolution, to be worthy enough for history books. I trusted the wrong people to help me. I was arrested before I could even start."

"You have an amazing heart, Pen," Octavia tells the other solemnly in case she didn't know. "We're lucky to have you here."

"Me?" Aspen could have laughed again with more sincerity. "Please, we need geniuses like... Like Monty over there and great leaders or nurses like Clarke." She slugs Octavia's shoulder. "We're just stuck with each other."

The situation, as gloomy as they all felt, started to brighten them up. Aspen could see even Monty was smiling, all faint again, when he calls over, "Am I left out?"

Aspen blew him a fake kiss. "No, Monty, you're just my favorite."

The three of them laughing was quiet enough not to alert anyone or bounce off the walls, but loud enough to be special enough for them. Death didn't exist, neither did pain, hate, or even grounders. It was a peaceful bliss. They all basked in it for as long as they could even though it didn't last when Jasper screams.

It feels like hours have passed since Clarke left with the other two boys following her like lost puppies. Aspen was starting to wonder out loud where the hell that trio was "getting air" after too much time went by. She didn't know how long Jasper could last under their care. They had no experience, no medical knowledge like Clarke did. Aspen's worries only grew more. She felt stuck with nowhere to go, no hand in the dark to help.

It seems like Jasper surviving isn't going to be their only problem when every level of the dropship starts to fill with delinquents. They cough into fists, skin painted in faint blisters, rushing to seal any open windows or doors. Aspen sees a hint of fog colored in an ugly shade of bronze that starts to leak through before everything is slammed shut.

"What's going on?" Monty panicked.

A girl falls to her knees in front of them. She hacks again and again until her throat is clear enough to talk. "Air got thick. Everybody's skin started burning."

"Thick with what? Fog? Is it spreading through the forest?" Aspen interrogated. The girl doesn't answer in words. She nods. She wouldn't have even had to because Aspen can see for herself how they're all suffering to even breathe enough air from the cloud just touching them. She sure as hell wasn't going to risk taking a foot outside to see for herself.

A sudden thought is delivered like a punch to Octavia's stomach. "Monty, Pen, my brother's out there," she anxiously expressed.

"He'll be fine," Monty reassures her with a hand on her shoulder. He casts a look around. "We'll all be fine."

"Hey, he's right," Aspen adds. "Bellamy's too annoying and stubborn to die." Octavia makes an attempt to smile at that, but there's a pain hidden in the gaze she gives that holds her back. Aspen waits until Octavia seems stable enough to stand. "Guys, we can't have a crowd like this in here around Jasper. Everyone's going to have to gather around the lower level - there's water, blankets, come on!" She claps her hands when no one moves. "Go get some rest."

They file out one by one until one remained. Aspen had been helping the delinquents make their way to the ladder that she hadn't realized someone stayed behind until she turns away from the open latch. Nova Sydney stood a few feet away. Her back was against the wall, blue eyes following Aspen's every move even when she receives the darkest of all scowls in response. "You take charge in bad situations. You care about other people. You'd make a great leader even if you don't believe it."

"I was a leader." Aspen can feel her blood boiling so fast that the heat starts to rise. She doesn't want to explode and take Jasper with her, but she can't help adding, "You ruined that for me."

Octavia's green eyes flicker between the two. She senses the tension that rose into the air, so thick it could be cut with a knife, but is almost afraid of making it worse. Maybe she was trying to put what little pieces Aspen gave her together at the same time.

Nova steps out of the shadows. A splash of her cheek is red from the blister she received what Aspen supposed was all done thanks to the fog. "You don't have to like me. I know you won't. I know I came to you asking for your trust, and I betrayed that." She knelt until she's at Jasper's level. "But Earth gave us a second chance. I plan on using it."

Thunder started roaring in Aspen's eardrums. Just being in Nova's presence had that effect on her. She doesn't even touch Jasper in fear she'd only bring him further pain by squeezing his hand too hard or being too forceful. The deep breath Aspen sucks in is shaky and everyone in the dropship must know she's broken when she hisses, "You will never earn it."

She doesn't look long enough to notice Nova's expression shatter. Aspen's too busy caring about what really matters over what she can't change. The past was the past and Aspen was determined to choose how she lived in her present, fury and all, if that's what drove her to better things. Her second chance, as Nova put it.

On the other hand, Aspen was once again torn down the middle. Did she need a second chance, was what she did so bad? Or did she not deserve one at all?

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No one can sleep. Guilt continues to sweep over Aspen every time she plugs her ears and drops her head between her knees. She was brutally exhausted, so badly it was taking over her core. There was nothing she wouldn't give for at least an hour of silence to fall asleep. She couldn't even doze off. Jasper's screams continued to rattle in her skull. It didn't help that dozens of the kids downstairs would shout from the lower level to shut the kid up. Aspen cared about Jasper, but she just wished -

She's startled when Monty suddenly jumps up from the latch, hollering breathlessly, "Murphy's going to kill Jasper!" Before breaking free and tries to close the door only for Murphy's head to pop out next. Aspen only sees him for a second, but she knows the murderous glint in his eyes.

A shot of adrenaline drives Aspen to her feet. It's so strong that her exhaustion vanishes for a moment. Octavia swung her leg and kicked Murphy in the face as Aspen grabs the door and slams it shut before he could return. Monty throws his body weight over it just as Murphy begun pounding on it. "The lock's on the other side!" He panicked as his body thumps upwards with every push underneath. Nova pounces over Monty, her belly acting as another pressure to keep the door shut.

"Don't let him in!" Octavia exclaims before taking off. She races to the line of poles against the dropship wall and gives the metal a few forceful yanks, but the rust doesn't budge. They don't have time to find something else or cut it down.

"No shit!" Aspen cries back. She follows Octavia's lead and plants one boot against the wall for leverage, gripping the pole with both hands, and using what little strength she has left to pull.

A few harsh thumps echo behind them. It's followed by Murphy's demands to let him in and Monty grunts, "No rush, we're fine here!"

The pipe finally starts to loosen the hold they have on it. Aspen huffs in relief when it finally gives way and breaks free. She thrusts it in Octavia's hands so the girl can run it to Monty and stick it underneath, freeing the boy from being the weight when she jabs it over the latch's handle to stick out through the ladder. Nova waits to see if it truly works when Murphy pushes the door again, but it doesn't budge. She slowly pushes herself up.

It works almost as good as the lock. Murphy is furious below them, violently screaming, "One of you better open this hatch right now!"

"Simmer down!" Aspen calls back. "Jasper isn't going nowhere and neither are you, you prick!" She slams her fist against the latch for good measure. She just wants Murphy to know he lost and suffer with the knowledge they've won. It satisfies Aspen there's nothing he can do.

It's probably the highlight of her night.

Until Clarke returns leading Finn, Wells, and surprisingly enough, Bellamy as well.

Aspen could sense something was wrong the minute she sees them. She felt safe enough to leave Jasper with Monty and Nova when Murphy exits the dropship too because he submitted when Bellamy was around. It was sad, truly, how he followed the man like he was in charge. Murphy wouldn't make any further attempt to kill Jasper as long as Bellamy was here and didn't order him too. If he tried, Aspen would be sure to knock his teeth out before he would be allowed to finish.

Wells separates from the group as Bellamy lays a heavy drape onto the soil. Aspen still ponders over what could possibly have gone wrong because her head can muster no answer as Octavia rushes to Clarke. "It's about time!" She exclaims. "They were gonna kill Jasper."

"It's okay, I got the medicine," Clarke informs them. She clutches the strap of her bag a little tighter before gently tugging Octavia's shoulder. "Come on. Let's go talk."

"Clarke? What's wrong?" Aspen questions. Her boots sink into the dirt as she moves as fast as possible further down a slope that guides her like a trail to the girl. Clarke seems to be made of stone. Something was bothering her, something heavy enough that should make her frazzled, but she's as steady as ever.

The plea Clarke uses with Octavia to follow her goes ignored as she storms towards her brother. Bellamy begs her to stay back. The Blake siblings go back and forth for a long minute, struggling with each other until Octavia finally wins when Bellamy gives up. She slowly lowers herself to the heavy items he had carried, wrapped with what Aspen can now see is a jacket, and peels it back. A familiar face stares back, eyes shut.

Aspen's breath gets lost in her throat and forms a lump. She knows she can't possibly grieve enough to cry, but she can still feel something dark and full of sorrow worm it's way into her when she stares down into the empty face of Atom. His skin was covered in crimson red welts that have stopped bleeding and were covered in dry blood. He died suffering. The thought is horrible.

"There's nothing I could do," Bellamy quietly explains. Aspen senses he's telling the truth. If the fog is what killed Atom, Bellamy would only kill two men if he had gone after him.

Octavia throws a hand in his direction to silence him. "Don't!" She snarls. Her hair falls to cover her true tears like a sheet as she shakily covers Atom once more. Bellamy pleads with her to listen, but Octavia refuses to stop, and barrels past him.

He doesn't try to follow. Aspen stays behind long enough for their gaze to connect. She sees something she never noticed before and takes a second guess on how much she may have assumed about him. Maybe Bellamy Blake carried as much as Clarke Griffin and was falling apart under the weight.

Aspen would have given Bellamy the benefit of the doubt if he wasn't a major dick. She shakes her head in what Bellamy must think is disappointment before she decides her place isn't here, outside. It was somewhere else even if she hadn't found it yet. Aspen chooses that her gut must know what's best when it guides her inside, passing Nova, where everyone else had started to gather around Jasper while Clarke applied the medicine.

They wait until Jasper has been treated until Clarke whispers to Octavia, "I'm really sorry about Atom."

Octavia nods. Aspen squeezes her shoulder when she sees her tremble. "I guess we're gonna have to get used to people dying down here, aren't we?" She guesses quietly. Aspen doesn't know what words would be right to say. All she could do was deliver her a sad smile that couldn't possibly comfort her. However, Octavia returns it before she strokes Jasper's sunken cheeks. "But not you. You hear me? You're not allowed to die."

It didn't take long after Clarke left to talk to Wells that Finn whips out the bottle of booze he discovered on his little adventure when the fog chased them through the forest. It's exactly what Aspen needed. Moonshine wasn't a luxury in Factory Station, in fact, it's what many of them had grown up drinking since it was much more common than water. Aspen missed it, but some hundred year old whiskey would do for now.

The amber liquid burns sliding out of the rusty bottle and down Aspen's throat. She's not a quitter, though and pushes through it. Her first taste of alcohol was much worse involving a fit of coughing and spitting everywhere. She proudly takes what the whiskey gives her like a champ before she lowers the bottle again and passes it to Octavia with a grin. Aspen wonders if the girl under the floor was ever blessed with the chance to rebel. If Monty and Jasper were arrested for smoking plants, they've surely had drank before.

She feels a sense of pride when her friend swallows easily as well. Octavia only gives a slight cough into her fist before shaking her head. "Disgusting." She smiles back and leans forward to give it to Finn. "Love it."

The rim barely brushes Finn's lips when he's forced to lower it from the soft groan on the other side of the level. Jasper shifts, his head lifting with a pained mumble, "Can I, uh, get a hit of that?"

The four burst out of their seats or jump off the floor. "Jasper!" Monty exclaims and shoves asides the dropship seats they've used as chairs to race towards his brother.

"Let's start with the soft stuff," Finn suggests kindly. He grabs a canteen and carefully lifts it to Jasper so he can drink. Aspen softly shushes the boy who eagerly slurps at the water and aids Jasper in holding his head up so he doesn't choke. She waits until he's decided he had enough so she can lower his head onto the makeshift pillow again. Finn smiles. "Welcome back, buddy."

Monty is more excited than any of them. He grasps Jasper's hand in his and squeezes, tight, their fingers laced.

"Was that a dream or did I get speared?" Jasper asks. His voice is a slur, eyes barely open. Aspen giggles and gives a slow stroke to his hair. She doubts this is something he'll remember tomorrow. He relaxes under her touch.

"You'll have a very impressive scar to prove it," a voice from the ladder promises. Aspen would have jumped if she didn't recognized them.

Clarke steps out of the shadows and a wide, dopey smile spreads across Jasper's face. "My savior!" He greets happily.

"Thank you for not dying." Clarke is trembling as she leans above Jasper as if it's taking all of her strength not to fall apart then and there. "I don't think I could've taken that today."

The wounded boy is so out of it he doesn't realize Clarke's state. His smile is still there as he starts to drift off, muttering, "I'll try not to die tomorrow, too, if that's cool." He's about to doze off when he sees Octavia on the other side of him. "Oh, hello!"

A burst of laughter is shared between them. Aspen runs her fingers through Jasper's curls again until he tilts his head back tiredly. "What about me, Jasper? Am I not pretty enough?"

"Oh, no, no," Jasper slurs. "Pen... Beautiful." His eyes finally shut then. Aspen smiles to herself as he can feel at peace enough to let go and sleep.

Their next laughter that comes is quieter in fear of disturbing him. Aspen has Octavia's arm slung over her shoulders, eyes darting between Clarke and Finn, a smile flashed from Monty, when she realizes something.

This was where Aspen belonged even if her gut told her differently.

━━━━━━━━

author's note:

me: i am going to stop thinking deeply about aspen's story and write more! i'll write beautifully! it'll be so grand!
also me: *writes this trash*

no but fr im so sorry it's trash and it took me so long to take it out 🗑. i gave it my all. i know forcing writing isn't good for anyone, but i just want to get this done. i'm so excited for aspen's future. i can't wait for everyone to see it.

anyways, have a great father's day if you're celebrating today (i have daddy issues so i won't) but thank you for taking time to read this! ❤️

- koda

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