"Catch me once, catch me twice, and I'm yours to keep."

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icyhotbunny
└── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──┘

Let's get into it!

☁first impressions (22/25): I'm already hooked by the title. It definitely lures the audience in, and I think it's pretty original. The cover image is very haunting and nicely done, but the font is not very professional, so I would change that. I would also change the color, as well, and add a username so that people can see who wrote it from the cover! For the description I really like how short it is, with a nice quote and a sentence for the synopsis. I don't find a lot of short and sweet descriptions like that anymore, so it's very refreshing to see. I would just rephrase it like "In which Jimin finds a house in the middle of the woods" and maybe add an element of mystery to it. Not coming out and saying it's inhabited by a witch but something that sounds more sinister... 

☁grammar & sentence structure (12/15): There aren't any grammar mistakes as far as I can see, which is super great for me to read. The sentence structure is also pretty sound, but one thing I would do is expand your sentences to make them longer. I feel like they're a bit choppy, which could also add to a hole in the flow of the overall story. I suggest reading your text out loud and fixing the sentences accordingly.

☁plot (29/30): Someone finding a seemingly abandoned house or place is definitely a cliche, but when it's done well, it can be expanded to be very unique, which you do. I really like the little rabbit hole we go into, and it almost gives me Alice in Wonderland vibes with all the random things happening, and Jimin just getting used to it, as if he's in a dream. It almost makes me wonder if what I'm reading is real. I really liked how you also wrote in the diary entries to make it more unique as Jimin explored more of the house. I can tell there will be more backstory that will come later, and I'm super excited to read it!

☁characters (18/20): Jimin reminds me of Alice from Alice in Wonderland in the best ways: though passive, he is the device in which we explore the world. You pull this off very well. Although, since there are only 4 chapters (including character descriptions for the first chapter), I'm not really sure how he will change. I'm guessing he'll remain static throughout the whole thing, because he's not really the point of the story, just like Alice? This is just my theory, but I'm willing to be more lenient of the fact that he only shows curiosity and fear throughout the whole thing so far. I only deduct points out of the fact that he doesn't display any significant character traits. I obviously don't know the other characters, so I can't really judge them.

☁writing style (18/20): Every time you describe something, I really get chills. Everything is so detailed, and it feels like I'm really there. This is crucial to horror writing in my opinion, more so than any other genre, because the genre solely depends on the audience's imagination and their ability to become immersed enough to get a rise out of them even after they close the book. I believe you succeed with this. There is an underlying feeling of doom with every book of yours, yet there is also something whimsical about this story that is very interesting. However, I would implement harder vocabulary into the text to suit the style better, because this story, with the Alice-in-wonderland feel, calls for readers who can handle something like that. I wouldn't overdo it, but sprinkle the harder vocabulary in at just the right places so that it emphasizes a paragraph you want people to remember.

☁flow (7.5/10): The chapters are a comfortable length, and I always found myself wanting more after reading one! I would focus on how you pace the story, though. Some parts feel kind of choppy, and especially because of the subject matter, I feel a little confused at times at what's happening. Also, there are random spaces between the paragraphs where I don't think there should be? And if there are supposed to be the spaces, I would add dividers. There are some super cute ones on amino! (That's where I got the ones for euphoria hehe) There are also indents before some paragraphs but not others. Usually people aren't a fan of indents on Wattpad, though it is grammatically correct, so I would maybe erase those to make it cleaner.

☁total score: 106.5/120 or 88.6%!

Fantabulous!

☁optional advice nook: Change the cover font and color to make it seem more professional, as well as adding a username to it. Read your text out loud to get rid of the choppiness in the text, implement harder vocabulary into the text, and get rid of the spaces before the paragraphs/utilize dividers when needed.

☁song nook: Here are some songs I thought of while reading this! I've been waiting for a horror book to list some creepy songs, and this is the perfect one to do so! I went for the "madness in the mundane" type of feel, as well as just straight up creepiness. Let me know what you think about these!

♔How Beautiful It Is by Must Save Jane♔
(this song... is so creepy... just listen to it pls)

♔Mad Hatter by Melanie Martinez♔

♔Dollhouse by Melanie Martinez♔

♔Blind Will Lead the Blind by Must Save Jane♔

♔They Never Know by EXO♔

☁summary: I wish you had more chapters in the book because it was so amazing to read! I was enraptured the whole time, wondering who the girl was, wondering what else he would find in the house. Though it has a simplistic plot, you succeed in drawing the reader in with your alluring writing style and leading character. I'm so excited to see what comes next in this book, and I know you have a lot of other amazing things in store for us for the future. (I'm loving Whispers in the Walls so far!) With a little bit of editing all around, this will be the perfect book for any audience.

I would DEFINITELY CHECK THIS AUTHOR OUT! If you like spine-tingling horror and another side of the 'mature book section', (gore and description, etc.) she's the person to go to. I highly recommend it.

Aaaand... that's it for the review! Comments, questions, concerns, please let me know. I hope everyone is being safe in these trying times. Only 3 books left until round 2! 

UP NEXT: SUMMIT by miintymiin

SEE YOU THERE!