"I don't like being tormented. Noise, noise."

┌── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──┐
-CHERRYSUNG
└── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──┘

Let's get into it!

☁first impressions (23.5/25): Starting with the cover, I really love how aesthetically pleasing and simple it is. You've done a good job with the muted color scheme and still having the title of the book visible on the cover. Though it's not my personal taste, I can see someone being drawn to it. However, I'd like to see your username on it somewhere, because people should be able to see who this amazing book is by at first glance! Going onto the title, though it's not unique on wattpad, your book is the first one to come up, (and personally, I've never heard of that title in a wattpad book before) so I won't take points off for it. The description is the perfect mix of quirky and mysterious, with just one sentence to make me hooked on the book already. Can't wait to read another book of yours!

☁grammar & sentence structure (13.5/15): The grammar is spot-on, save for a few spots where commas are instead of periods and other minor things not worth mentioning, as you can go through them in a light copy edit. The sentence structure is varied throughout the paragraphs as well, making me more engaged with the prose while reading. Some sentences are awkwardly written, and others have repeating sentence structures right next to each other, so I suggest reading your sentences out loud and fixing it accordingly, depending on what sounds better to you or not.

☁plot (26.5/30): I really like the generational ghost thing and how the reason why they've been following the family for so long is because they wanted to collect a soul at the end. It gives a nice twist to a plot that could have gone south fast. I wanted to bring up Minho kissing Chan here since I think it's an important plot point. I feel that it was a little unrealistic and almost shoe-horned in for those who wanted to see a ship in this book. I didn't feel any special chemistry between Minho and Chan before this, nor did I feel it with Jisung and Minho. (except when they were hugging and whatnot but I thought that was more platonic.) I feel that you could've built a foundation for this a little better from the beginning, and maybe even add more filler chapters that have the goal to bring them together a little more and make them compelling love interests. Also, I noticed that there was a lot of info dumping around the end, and I think you could do with hinting at this information throughout the text so that people can infer what happened to the characters and how they became the way they did rather than being spoon fed the information. As much as I like listening to their backstories, I also think it's important for readers to feel like they have active roles in the story. Other than that, though, I can see how this plot is progressing and how streamlined it is. You obviously have a plan for how it's going to end (or at least where it's going), and I'm excited to see how it turns out!

☁characters (17/20): First of all, makes me so sad when I had to count and realize the 9th wasn't there T^T but WE'RE NOT HERE TO TALK ABOUT THAT! I really like Minho as a protagonist, because at first, he's almost like a passive observer so that we can soak in the world, then becomes his own character. I feel like he fluctuates between the passiveness and driving the plot, but I can see why that is. I'm also excited to see how his angel blood will come into use further into the plot. One thing I'd like to add about him is that I feel like he isn't as scared as he would be realistically, and instead thirsting over them a little too much after around the fifth chapter. Also, he does NOT write like an 80 year old. I feel that he should write with a little more maturity, or maybe make him younger when he's writing it, like in his 40's. 

Moving on, though, I love the different sins and the justifications for why they are that sin. I especially love Hyunjin being the sin of lust... Something about it makes me feel some type of way... N E WAYZ. I can feel the chemistry between the characters, just like Stray Kids, and that's such an important aspect for fanfics. I feel like people have such low expectations for fanfics because the readers usually know the people in real life, so they can project onto them. However, I think you did a good job making them unique and memorable in their own rite, mostly because of their compelling backstories that make them oddly human. I especially enjoyed Jeongin's backstory for that reason: I don't feel sorry for them about becoming demons, but I can understand their humanity. The only thing I would do is further characterizing them in later chapters, because I feel like I'm only getting a surface level of what they're like, mostly because each of them have to share screen time. But since you only have 30 pretty short chapters, I can see why they're not perfectly characterized yet. Keep working!

☁writing style (18.5/20): I really love the narrative style of writing in this book. It wouldn't be the same without it, and it gives the story the punch it needs to really stick out from the crowd. Every chapter made me want to read another, then another, then another, because you kept the suspense up with your flow (which I will get to) and diction usage, which fit the style perfectly. I found myself laughing out loud at the little quips he would make within the text, and it made reviewing this a lot more fun! The only thing I would say is the thing I said before, which is to make him seem more mature in some areas if you want to make the whole 80 year old thing consistent. Other than that, your style is super quirky and unique, and I wouldn't change a thing about it!

☁flow (9/10): I really like the chapter and paragraph lengths. They're easily digestible and it makes me feel like I can read 100 chapters in one sitting because of it. A way to improve the flow to make it perfect, though, would be to get rid of the info dumps and instead weave them into the story naturally. I brought this up earlier, and it's almost like hitting two birds with one stone: improve plot while also smoothening out the flow. This can include anything from adding a few lines in previous chapters to creating new chapters completely. (maybe take my advice on creating new chapters to strengthen character chemistry for Jisung, Minho, and Chan to further the killing two birds with one stone streak we have going on.) Great job!

☁total score: 108/120 or 90%!

Stunning, my dear!

☁optional advice nook: put username in cover, light copy edit, put more chapters/scenes for character chemistry between Minho, Jisung, and Chan, (HIGHLY RECOMMEND) get rid of info dumps and distribute the info more naturally in the book, evaluate if certain things are a thing that an 80 year old man would say, think about realistic reactions regarding Minho.

☁song nook: Here are some songs I thought of while reading this! I definitely got spooky vibes from this book mixed with a little lighthearted fun, so I thought of songs somewhere in the middle. Hope you enjoy these!

♔Still Don't Know My Name by Labrinth♔

♔I See Red by Everybody Loves an Outlaw♔
(365 Days anyone?)

♔Sacrifice by Black Atlass♔

♔God's Menu by Stray Kids♔
(Felix's first verse kills me... UGH)

♔WHO? by Stray Kids♔

☁summary: I wish this book was completed because I got to chapter 30 and was disappointed when there wasn't more! This was a very heartwarming story and I'd love to see what you do (or don't do, either way!) with my advice regarding the text. With a little touching up, I can see this becoming the perfect read for anyone on Wattpad. 

Aaaand... that's it for the review! Comments, questions, concerns, please let me know. One more book left, and it's onto Round 4! Who's excited? 

UP NEXT: TAINTED SAVIOUR by One-shot-writing

SEE YOU THERE!