"You make me begin."

┌── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──┐
itsnotutopia
└── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──┘

Let's get into it!

☁first impressions (21.5/25): Your whole aesthetic for the story is really sleek and well put-together. It's evident you had a clear direction on what you wanted out of this book. Starting with the cover, I notice you change it/your theme in general quite often, so I'm not sure if this review will be outdated by the time it's out, but I feel that it could have more oomph to it. I don't really have any idea what it's about, since there's no text or any indication that it's even about BTS from the looks alone. I understand that this is a theme, however, and you clearly know how to make covers, so I would just say do whatever you feel is good for your story, whether it's making a cover that is indicative of what the story is about or not! The description, though simple, illustrates the point of the story perfectly because it is a short story, since it intrigues me just enough to keep going. If this were a novel, I would say it should be longer, but this is a great length for those who want to read short stories... probably those who don't have a lot of patience (like me!). Lastly, "New Birth" is not a title I've come across on wattpad before, but what I'd suggest is adding the fact that it's about Jungkook, (like a little jjk at the end or something) since I have no idea if it's a BTS fanfic from the cover, nor title. The whole thing is very aesthetically-pleasing, and it puts me in a good mood to begin the book!

☁grammar & sentence structure (14.5/15): The grammar is perfect. I don't think I found one mistake. The sentence structure is also varied and keeps me on my toes. It's like you're weaving a tapestry that always shifts. You have a gift with words that poetry quite suits, actually. There were a few spots with diction, (using a near word instead of the actual word) but I don't think anyone noticed. If you take my later advice, you can touch those up as you do the other things very easily.

☁plot (28/30): The plot is simple, yet that's perfect just the way it is. It's something that the readers can insert themselves into so easily because it's what people have experienced through all of time: wanting love and the journey behind your own self-discovery. I'm glad you didn't try to shove some weird subplots in there to pad it out, because that would've been really jarring and frankly the message would not have been as clear as it was. However, I feel like I didn't really get to see the whole "new birth" aspect of the story, because it was so short. I don't know HOW exactly katastrophe changed him over the years, nor how he effects her. It's almost as if she exists FOR him, which plays into the metaphor but doesn't do well as an actual character that should be believable. I'm actually leaking into the character section by now, so let's head over there.

☁characters (16/20): I thought the characters were the most simple, yet most complex thing of this whole story. I almost can't help but feel that katastrophe isn't meant to behave like a real person, but a metaphor for the journey of self-love and discovery that Jungkook needs in order to have this new birth for himself. They're both CONCEPTS brought to life, not real people themselves. (I don't know if I'm interpreting this correctly, so please feel free to correct me!) I'm really not sure how to describe what I felt about their dynamic, honestly. If I look at it objectively, it's simple and doesn't have that much drive to it, but when looking at it from the inside, it's not just the relationship between them, but themselves as they work to improve each other and such. However, there are a few things I'd like to discuss. I see the end of their relationship on the talk show, and then the beginning, but the important part is the middle, which I'm not able to read because that's all that it depicts. I'm not sure how you'd fix this, but I thought I'd bring it up because you can shift the focal point from the journey so that it isn't as important as their relationship and their duality itself. Secondly, I'm not sure if Jungkook being infatuated with Kat after the poetry reading is very realistic. The poems were good, yes, but is it worthy of infatuation... I'm not so sure. Maybe you can frame him as being more intrigued rather than fallen head over heels in love with her. Finally, I notice that you have a specific style when it comes to writing dialogue, and it's almost like poetry. However, sometimes, it comes off as stilted and awkward, so I would use this appropriately. Think: would someone REALLY say this, even the most pretentious of them? I can see how katastrophe could say what she says, since she's a kind of whimsical character. (I actually thought she would be a manic pixie dream girl, but then they got married so nvm) Overall, I'd just like to see a little more humanity from both of them, because they seem a little archetype-y to me. If you include more of their chemistry through the dialogue and such, I have a feeling people will relate even more to the message.

☁writing style (20/20): The writing style is perfect for this story. Sensitive, descriptive, and leaves room for you to breathe at the same time. The whole book reads as poetry, which is so fitting for a story about self-expression through words and painting. It flows and creates actual pictures in my mind. I would also just like to say that I really loved katastrophe's poems. I can see them being published. I think if you revised them just a bit, you actually could publish them as contemporary poetry, since I'm assuming that's the genre katastrophe/you write in. Amazing work.

☁flow (9/10): I'd say the flow is perfect, except for the character dynamic part, which we already talked about before. It feels like there isn't a natural pacing to their development because I can't see them as real people, the whole beginning and end thing with no middle part. Again, I'm not sure how you'd fix this, but shifting focal point might help.

☁total score: 109/120 or 90.8%!

You're all that and a bag of chips!

☁optional advice nook: consider changing theme/cover/title to depict jungkook so that the readers know what the story is about, light copy edit, consider the character dynamic between JK and Kat, shift focal point of story so that the middle that's missing isn't so pronounced, revise poems and overall prose so that they really hit their target.

☁song nook: Here are some songs I thought of while reading this! I thought of a lot of lofi hip-hop songs as I read this (I actually had my In Love With a Ghost playlist on the background as I read lol) but I didn't want to include just that, because that's lame lmao. I included some acoustic songs that portray a bit of a whimsical feel or the feeling of "renewal" in them. Hope you like these!

♔Begin by BTS♔

♔Home by SEVENTEEN♔

♔We've Never Met but Can We Have a Cup of Coffee or Something by In Love With a Ghost♔
(perfect song for this. the atmosphere, whimsical-ness, everything!)

♔Enchantment by Corinne Bailey Rae♔

☁summary: This book took my breath away. From the writing style to the character dynamics, this flows like a work of art that has come to life because of you. With a little revision, this could really hit the mark for A LOT of different people, so never stop trying to improve, because you have real talent, and you should use it! I'm very excited to see YOUR journey as an artist and your growth in your time on wattpad.

Aaaand... that's it for the review! Comments, questions, concerns, please let me know. We're finally onto Round 3, folks! I'm genuinely so excited to see the new submissions and read all of them. I see that more and more people are waiting for the release of new rounds each time, which makes me so happy! I'm so glad I actually make an impact on real people, and I appreciate all the support and love I get through this. The next round will be posted within a few days, so watch out for it!

SEE YOU THERE!