"I'm fallin' to pieces."

┌── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──┐
puppiejoon
└── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──┘

Let's get into it!

☁first impressions (22.5/25): The cover draws me in completely. The dynamics of the photo (especially the purple! WOWZA!) and the font together is VERY pleasing to the eyes. Though, one thing I would like to remark on is the fact that it doesn't have an author's name on it, and it would be nice to see that, because readers might want to see from first glance who wrote it. I don't know if you change your covers often, but definitely keep this for a while before changing again, because it's very good. Going onto the title, it's a pretty generic one, and I think you can afford to change it up a little bit, whether it's with something more thematically important or tacking a few words to it to make it unique. Lastly, the description, while the quote is intriguing, it tells me virtually nothing about the book itself. Personally, when I see books like this, I completely skip over them because I don't know if I'm going to like it or not, so I don't open it in the first place. I would put a short synopsis of about 1-3 sentences in it to let readers know what they should expect in this book. Can't wait to dig in!

☁grammar & sentence structure (11/15): There are simple grammar mistakes you can fix with a light copy edit, like apostrophes when distinguishing between "it's" and "its" and other similar things, and disjointed sentences and the like. I also noticed the capitalization of some beginning sentences and the lowercase of some beginning sentences. You should fix those to be one way or the other for consistency's sake. I also noticed that you switch tenses sometimes from past to present, so I would just look over that or read it out loud to see if it flows! Lastly, I would try to vary sentence structures so that your prose stays fresh after each chapter.

☁plot (20/30): The plot is pretty generic, and I've seen it so much that I'm not sure what makes it stand out. While the angst is there and I feel some things for Seokjin, I just can't immerse myself completely into the story. For example, I guessed the ending before I actually got to it, because it's such an overused trope to have the MC commit suicide in the end. I feel like maybe you could use a different ending to make your book stand apart, or even make Seokjin a different type of character/bringing in side characters more. (I'll get to that in the character stuff) I might have good advice for how to make your plot stand out a little more from the others. Ask yourself: "Why?" Let me explain. Pretend there's a scene of someone confronting their long-lost father about why they left. WHY is that scene in there? Answer: it's an important part of characterization for both the (assumed) MC and father, so that should be left in. However, if you ask yourself "why" to a scene that has basically been done before in your story, trim the fat! The audience already knows the scene's message, and they don't need to see it a billion more times to really "get it". Instead, use that extra space for EXTRA characterization, EXTRA plot development, EXTRA of everything you feel that you're lacking! Maybe you can have Seokjin observe little clues as to what Y/N had been doing throughout the relationship to hint at the fact that she was really into the brother the whole time. Seokjin's growing dismay and suspicion that all is not what it seems. Finally coming to the realization when undeniable proof is given to him that he can't live like this anymore. He has to choose between his dignity and a world based on lies. Now THAT'S suspenseful! Anyway, give it a thought!

☁characters (14/20): Because this isn't really a traditional type of book, it's hard to distinguish the characteristics of everyone, but hopefully I can analyze them just the same. They're all static from what I can tell, with Seokjin the only one that changes since he's the MC and the most described. He goes from being hopeful to suddenly suicidal, which I'm not sure is a good fit. All the way up until the second to last chapter, he still holds out a tiny ray of hope, and I feel like you could've gone with that instead of suddenly making him commit suicide, because it would've been more consistent with his already established character. However, that's just my opinion, so no need to take it! Going back to Seokjin's personality, though, I think he's a little generic, and you could implement more characteristics to make him more fleshed out, as well as show more side characters. However, this is supposed to be a short book with the main plot on the angst, so I'm not sure if this will be useful to do. We also don't get to see a lot of aspects of Y/N other than the fact that she cheated on him for his brother, and that it made Seokjin sad. I would actually advise you to take "Y/N" out of this story completely and just have the pronouns be "you" or "she/her", because Y/N might throw people off. Overall, think about your characters as people, how they might behave in a certain situation, what causes them to change, and their vitality in the story at hand.

☁writing style (15/20): The writing style suits this story very well, but it's also used by the most people for this story. It's very poetic, and you are so close to perfecting it. I would just like to go over a few things. Firstly, sometimes the flowery language doesn't fit in some contexts, and it comes out as stilted, awkward, or even pretentious. For example, "I crave that laugh which sounded like the singing of angels from the very heaven above." It's very poetic and flowery, but I feel like it doesn't fit in that context and you can actually go with something a little more simple to describe Y/N's laughter. Overall, I would just say know when to be poetic in your book so that it will hit the hardest. It'll really benefit you in the long run (it certainly benefits me!) to put YOURSELF in the reader's shoes and think, "Will this make me emotional?" "Is this where I should put that clever one-liner, or can it wait?" There's this writing tip that I've never forgotten that you might have use in like I do: Kill your darlings. Oh no! The paragraph sounds so lovely and amazing, yet it doesn't fit the context/it feels out-of-place. Kill your darlings. Oh no! That subplot leads nowhere and doesn't really have any place in the book, but I just really like it! Kill your darlings. This writing advice has helped me so much in developing everything from plot to writing style, and I think it can help others, as well.

☁flow (6.5/10): The chapters are very easily digestible, as well as the paragraphs, but I felt that some chapters went by a little too fast because of lack of things to say. Maybe you can add more details in the chapters that only have a couple of paragraphs and one-liners to balance out the flow. You can also consider how one-liners effect the flow of the story, in that it's a full stop where the reader must focus on the one-liner. Yours are really well done and it has a lot of emotional impact, but I would just be mindful of it! I covered everything in the last sections, so I really have nothing more to say here. Awesome sauce!

☁total score: 89/120 or 74.2%!

Coolio!

☁optional advice nook: put author's name on the cover, put 1-3 sentence synopsis for description, copy edit for grammar, capitalization issues, and sentence structure, "trim the fat" and add in vital things to the story, think about Seokjin's characterization and edit accordingly, "kill your darlings", take Y/N out for "you" or "she/her", add details to the prose to balance things out.

☁song nook: Here are some songs I thought of while reading this! Obviously, the book was very angsty, and I felt a lot of back and forth on Seokjin's part as a narrator, as if he was trying to convince himself rather than the audience that he is okay and that he'll get through it. Anyway, hope you enjoy these selections! 

♔Breakeven by The Script♔
(literally the first thing I thought of when I started reading)

♔HAPPY WITHOUT ME by MONSTA X♔

♔Trauma by SEVENTEEN♔

♔everything i wanted by Billie Eilish♔

♔badbye by RM & eAeon♔

☁summary: Though I had a lot of critique to offer for this book, please don't think this is an insult to your overall writing, because it's not! I believe that if you take some of my advice, this book can be transformed into something that you didn't even know was within reach. I can see so much skill in you with your other work, and I believe that this book can be elevated along with you. If you need to talk to me about something specific, please don't hesitate to comment on here or just message me in DMs or MB! Love you so much! 

Aaaand... that's it for the review! Comments, questions, concerns, please let me know. 3 more left until round 4! I'm honestly not sure if I'm gonna have a back-to-back release for round 4 because school is going to start up soon and I don't wanna let anyone down. What do you think? Would you guys be okay with review rates being a little slow but having me put out a round soon anyway? 

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