"Tell me, what should I choose? Either angel or devil."

┌── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──┐
my_boo_i_u
└── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──┘

Let's get into it!

☁first impressions (21/25): I really love the vibes of the cover. It's calm, and the blue theme really helps me get into the mood of the story. However, I feel like it could be more professional with the font. You seem to have made a stylistic choice when you put the title twice, but I think you can afford to take one of them out, as it looks cluttered. I also suggest a more professional font to go along with the picture as to tie the whole thing together. I like the excerpts for the description of the story, but it goes on for a while, so I would cut out, like, 3/4 of it to just have 2 dialogue exchanges. Then, add a paragraph describing what the book is about, because from this, I can't really tell. Lastly, while the title is plot relevant, I see a lot of books with that same name, so maybe add a few words or change it to make it stand out from the crowd.

☁grammar & sentence structure (11/15): The grammar structure is pretty sound, and there wasn't anything I could see that was too egregious of a mistake, so good job on that! I only saw a few missing punctuations inside quotes and misused commas and such. However, I'd like to talk to you about your sentence structure. You sometimes repeat the same sentence structure during the same paragraph, which can become a little boring to read. Also, I would try combining a couple of your shorter sentences together to create compound sentences so that it's not too jarring to read. Other than those things, I really liked that you had little to no grammar mistakes and that you kept to your past tense instead of switching back and forth from present to past, because a lot of people have trouble with keeping their tenses straight.

☁plot (25/30): Though the mafia plot is overdone, I think you made it work with the different subplots, unique writing style, and characters. I don't think I've read a book where the main character of a mafia AU is a doctor that actually has something to do with the plot, so kudos to you! It's a super interesting spin on things, and it made the story jump out at me a lot more. I could tell from the beginning that you had a plan in mind for how things were going to play out through the shooting and the rivalry between JK and V, and this is really great because the readers can feel like they're reading something that actually has a direction and isn't meaningless! Aside from that, there are some things I'd like to point out. I felt that the info dump at the beginning about Haneul's job and background was a bit overwhelming for me. I want to be SHOWN what her job is like, not told, and you actually did a fairly good job at that in chapter 2, when you talk about her doctor's instincts and all when it comes to blood. Little things like that can really make or break a reader's attention and the book itself. I also liked JK's introduction with him "on the job", if you know what I mean... It shows what kind of person he is and how Haneul will, mayhaps, change him for the better. (Eyyyy title reference lol)

☁characters (16/20): The book is definitely made more interesting by the characters, especially Haneul. She's super spunky, and I love that we get to hear her thoughts with perfect clarity and get to see all of her actions from her POV. I don't think this would have the same tone without that decision. I also like that she's just as confused as the audience and reacts pretty realistically in certain situations concerning the mafia business. However, the first thing I noticed is the Y/N aspect of the character. I honestly don't think this is necessary, because the whole point of "Y/N" is to insert your own name into the story, yet you already have Haneul as the name. (teehee). I would suggest that you take Y/N out and replace it with Haneul for this reason, because with it in, I almost feel like it's a little jarring to read, going back and forth between Y/N and Haneul. Also, I'm personally not a HUGE fan of Y/N stuff anyway (crucify me I know I'm terrible) so it might just be my personal bias. Aside from Haneul, the side characters are pretty good, though a little info-dumpy at times. Info dumping is pretty tempting to try and flesh out the character in question, but it's not good in the long run. By taking those long excerpts of info out of their dialogue, you can not only make their dialogue flow naturally, but also make them feel like real people! Jungkook is a heartthrob, of course, with his bad boy persona and brooding dialogue. It's fun to see Haneul, such a bubbly person, interact with her opposite like that in their scenes together. Lastly, JK and V having a rivalry is so cool! I loved their dynamic as well as V's and Haneul's. It made the plot a whole lot more complicated in the BEST way possible! Awesome job!

☁writing style (18/20): Your writing style is very stream-of-thought, which is a style that can be a hit or miss, depending on the plot and the author using it. I think you execute it fairly well, but sometimes, it can be a little overwhelming. I feel like I'm being bombarded with a lot of details that I don't need when it comes to her inner monologues, so maybe you can take some sentences out to streamline your prose more, as this can also effect your flow. Other than that, though, the writing style really let me see the personality of Haneul, and I found myself laughing at her dorkiness in a lot of points, which is a good sign that you're on the right track! It shows me a lot of your own personality, and I had a ton of fun with this book because of it. I think it makes readers feel invited and welcome to read the book, because you're also very friendly with them, just like Haneul is in the story.

☁flow (7/10): the chapter lengths are pretty good, as well as the paragraph lengths. I would say just to look out for overwhelming bouts of information (as said in the writing style section), and using longer sentences. (as said in the sentence structure section.) I found that the shortness of some of the sentences kind of threw me off guard and didn't let me really immerse myself in the story as it was overall kind of choppy. I also noticed that you sometimes combine paragraphs together when they should be separate? For example, the opening line should have a space between "It was dark" and "Way too dark for me to see clearly!" OR just combine those together into one line, if that makes sense. With these minor fixes, you can really streamline your flow and make it much smoother for the reader to immerse themselves into the prose.

☁total score: 98/120 or 81.7%!

Good stuff, broski!

☁optional advice nook: change cover font, make description shorter, change the title to make it more unique, light copy edit for sentence structure and specifically making sentences compound, (STRONGLY RECOMMEND) take out Y/N and replace it with Haneul, take out unnecessary info dumps/exposition to streamline flow, put some sentences in the same line as the paragraph below or separate them into two separate paragraphs.

☁song nook: Here are some songs I thought of while reading this! I definitely thought of Jungkook a lot and how you made him pretty devilish in this book, as well as the developments with him and Haneul throughout so far, since I thought that was pretty interesting. Hope you enjoy these!

♔Beautiful by MONSTA X♔

♔No by CLC♔

♔Angel or Devil by TXT♔

♔Hard Carry by GOT7♔

☁summary: As much as I nitpicked everything in this review, I truly had fun reading this book. I remember laughing at a lot of places because of how dorky Haneul is, and I genuinely want to see this book being improved in all the right ways, because it has so much potential and definitely could blow up even more than it has! If you follow my advice through a few edits, I think you will definitely be on the right track to becoming a more experienced writer than you already are.

Aaaand... that's it for the review! Comments, questions, concerns, please let me know. Love you all!

UP NEXT: THE DOOR THAT LEADS TO YOU by urprincess2be

SEE YOU THERE!