IT WAS ALWAYS ALEX !

☀︎

FLEEING THE MOVIE THEATER, STEVE AND ROBIN WENT ON A SEARCH FOR SOME WATER. They had figured by the time they had gotten a drink, they would be back inside before Dustin or Erica had realized they went missing. To them, it hadn't been fair that they were forced to watch a movie they thought had made no sense while the others were free to leave when they wanted to contact others.

Once they had found that water and discussed the ridiculousness of Back to the Future, the world began to spin. The drugs inside them had threatened to force itself out of their system and give them back their rightful state of mind. It ended with them in the bathroom, vomit-filled toilets, and headaches that pounded against their skulls.

In a stall, Robin had rested her feet on the stall walls, arms extended out as she watched the ceiling above her. "The ceiling stopped spinning for me. Is it still spinning for you?"

In the next stall over, Steve had sat beside the toilet, regaining his sober state of mind as he checked the ceiling above him. "Holy shit," he whispered. "No. Do you think we puked it all up?"

"Maybe. Ask me something," Robin suggested. She had expected the question to be able to put a smile on her face. It's what she felt she needed to get through the rest of the night. After all, she had faced more today than she ever had. She needed the reminder that the world was still normal in some ways.

Steve thought for a moment. "When did you last pee your pants?"

Robin grinned. Of course, Steve Harrington would question her on something so ridiculous. It was very much like him and told her he was back to his normal self. "Today," she answered honestly.

"What?"

"When the Russian doctor took out the bone saw," she said quietly. Unable to hide her amusement in her response, she couldn't help but let out a laugh. "It was just a little bit though!"

Steve chuckled, resting his head in his hand. "Yeah, it's definitely still in your system."

"All right, my turn," Robin said, sitting up against the bathroom wall. Her heart started to pick up at the thought of asking Steve the question she had been dying to know. It was a moment to be open and honest with each other in a way that would have never allowed them before. She had heard from Alex who the real Steve Harrington was, but this time, she wanted to hear it from him.

"When was the first time you fell in love?"

He lifted his head out of his hand as his eyes focused on his feet. There wasn't anyone but Alex he had ever been that honest with. It made him feel vulnerable. Still, somehow, Robin had made him comfortable. "Uh, yeah," he began hesitantly. "Well, I thought I was at the time. Nancy Wheeler. First semester, senior year," imitating a gunshot to the side of his head, Steve frowned at the memories of the girl he thought he could have been in love with.

"Ugh, she's such a priss."

"Turns out, not really," Steve mumbled.

Scoffing, Robin's ears perked up for her next question, "Are you still in love with Nancy?"

Steve's silence had Robin hold her breath. Those few moments without any words exchanged, she had only thought of the worse. She wondered, perhaps he still did love Nancy and felt the guilt weighing on him for keeping it in so long or maybe she had crossed the line with such an insane question. To suggest he could ever have feelings for her still felt like a slap in the face— and it sort of did, but he didn't blame Robin for that. Finally breaking the silence, Steve laughed, "No."

"Why not?"

"Because I found someone a lot better for me. You know, I really don't even deserve it. For her to even love me, I mean. I, of course, would take a bullet for her and... and I don't think it'd be worth it for her to do that for me. She'd be better off letting me go, you know? Ever since Dustin came back he's been saying you're not each other's type, you're not each other's type, you're totally different, people look at you weird and he's... totally right."

"I don't think so," Robin said softly.

"The point is, I was a dick to her when I was supposed to be her friend... Then I became an even bigger dick when I pushed her away for Nancy. She deserves someone like... Jonathan Byers. He at least treated her like a person when everyone else gave her shit... While I just called her a freak to make sure I didn't lose stupid popularity points with assholes like Tommy H. I just hate to think that it took her getting possessed by some shitty monster for me to realize that I was a total dumbass and kept telling myself, 'You don't love her. We're just friends. She'll never love you back.' And you know what? Maybe I should've listened. Would've made her life a whole lot better."

Robin had bit her lip as she thought it over. They were different but the way they were together had somehow made perfect sense. "You know how I told you I was obsessed with you, how I would watch you? You always loved her and believe it or not, she felt the same, Harrington. Trust me, neither of you would be better off without the other. Maybe you wouldn't have been prom king or Mister Cool, but you both would've been happier."

Steve shook his head, not wanting to believe the words coming out of Robins's mouth, "No way. She would've... I don't know, doing this all alone with her brother or... Maybe working with Jonathan at Hawkins Post and completely out of this bullshit. If I wasn't such an asshole and talked to her and told her I loved her from the start then she wouldn't have even been around to go to that place and have that thing... disease her. Barb would've been alive since I wouldn't have had that stupid party to impress Nancy to take my mind off the girl that was clearly made for me. I mean, Alex, god, she's everything I want. She's hilarious, she cares about me and all the kids that ever come across her path and even cares about the people that did shitty things to her. She's way smarter than me. Some people think it's useless knowledge but I think it shows how much she puts into what she loves. She eats way too much damn ice cream and has way too many stories. She's absolutely perfect. And you know me... I'm just bullshit."

Robin laid her head on her knees, running her fingers through her hair, debating on what she should tell Steve and what she should keep to herself. However, after hearing how much Steve Harrington had doubted himself for the girl that was made for him, Robin knew she couldn't hold back.

"Robin?" Steve questioned, knocking on the stall wall.

"You're not bullshit. And I guarantee you Alex doesn't think that either. God, Harrington, the way she talks about you... even looks at you... You might think you're totally worthless compared to someone like her but she looks at you like you're the only thing that makes her happy. Putting up with parties and Tommy H, I'm pretty sure you're with someone that loves you just as much as you love them. I mean, how many boyfriends would hang out with their girlfriend's younger brother, treating him like they're best friends and run around fighting monsters or knocking out Russian guards? Even knowing her exact schedule just so you have her ice cream ready for her so you can spend your whole break listening to her talk about whatever she wants? You're the least shitty boyfriend to her."

The silence settled in once again, Steve unsure what to say and Robin unsure what to tell Steve to make him feel better again. Suddenly, a pair of feet slid underneath her stall wall and Steve came sliding under, propping himself on the stall wall, looking at Robin with a hurt expression, "Is that what you really think about us?"

"She's awesome," Robin said with a smile.

"Oh, she is. What about me?"

"I think you're on drugs and not thinking straight," Robin laughed.

"Really? Because I think I'm thinking pretty clearly."

"You're not. I think you're just making excuses to break up with her."

Steve shook his head immediately. The thought of losing her destroyed him inside. Nothing would have made sense without her. How he had been without her before didn't even make sense. She was everything to him just as he was everything to her. "I don't want to break up with her, Robin. I think it'd destroy me."

"You would if you really felt you didn't deserve her," she spoke truthfully. "Like it or not, Harrington, there's a part of you that actually feels like you deserve something good in your life and that's her. And you are good enough. She has King Steve, the biggest asshole in the world, and a monster from another world tripping over their goddamn feet just to have her and she wants you, King Steve, Mr. Cool, Mr. Popular. Just because she's such a catch doesn't mean you don't deserve it, man. How many times do you think she thought Steve Harrington was too good for her? Or that you didn't deserve to be put through all the hell she drags around?"

He kept his silence, keeping his eyes on her though as she spoke. It was confirmed at that moment for him that Robin Buckley genuinely was his best friend. She may have been someone he never would have paid attention to in high school, but now, it was all different. She told him the truth and never made him feel less for how he felt inside. She never had a reason to mock him and tear him down when he showed anything but being cool. It was refreshing— Robin Buckley was refreshing.

"Listen to me, Harrington. It's shocked me to my core, but I like you. Alex likes you. Sure, we're not like your other friends. Nothing like Nancy Wheeler."

"Robin, that's why I like her, why I like being friends with you."

Robin scoffed, holding onto a sad smile, "Do you remember what I said about Click's class? About me being jealous and, like, obsessed? It isn't because I had a crush on you. It's because she wouldn't stop staring at you."

"Who? Mrs. Click? Alex?"

Robin let out a laugh and shook her head, "Tammy Thompson. I wanted her to look at me. Look at me the same way that you and Alex looked at each other. But she couldn't pull her eyes away from you and... and your stupid hair. And I didn't understand because you would get bagel crumbs all over the floor. And you asked dumb questions. And you were a douchebag! And-and you didn't even like her. I would watch you... the way you'd look at her. Even when she wasn't looking or you were with Nancy Wheeler, you'd just look at Alex and not even realize that there was another girl that was staring at you the way I wanted her to stare at me. I would go home... and scream into my pillow."

Steve furrowed his brows, unsure what he was processing was completely correct. Robin had been so open and honest and all of it had felt confusing. It wasn't something he was expecting. "But Tammy Thompson's a girl."

"Steve," Robin said softly. She had wanted him to see it for how it was, hoping he wasn't going to judge or hate her for it. He was so honest with her that she felt she could be the same. But she knew she could trust him. If he was who she discovered he truly was, then he would accept her for exactly who she was.

"Oh, holy shit," he whispered as the realization hit him. Robin Buckley liked girls and it didn't bother him at all.

"Yeah, holy shit," she repeated back nervously.

"Does Alex know?"

Robin nodded her head with a smile, "Not a total shock that she was cool with it."

Steve nodded his head along, "Yeah. That's her all right."

"After this, I want to stay friends with both of you. Maybe just because I want to see if your kids come popping out with insane hair like yours, but I want to."

"Yeah, yeah. We got enough kids already," Steve chuckled, running his fingers through his hair. "Apparently we've forced you into our made-up family too, so, yeah, you have to stick around."

Robin laid her head back with a soft smile. Her cheeks began to flush a light pink from the happiness she had felt inside. She was accepted in so many ways into their group. They may have been dysfunctional, but she was just the same.

Steve extended a hand out towards in agreement to her before letting it fall back into his lap. "You're right, though. I'm making excuses. I just... I can't lose her." Sighing, he gave Robin a sad smile. "To answer your question, I always thought it was Nancy because we were dating so I thought she had to be my first love, but I think I'm realizing he didn't love her as much as I told myself. It was always Alex."

"Always Alex," she repeated back with a kind laugh. "Good, because she thinks the same about you. And if she ever finds out you shit on yourself for loving her this much, she'll kick your ass and from what I've heard, you'll lose."

Steve rolled his eyes with a small smile. "And, you know, Tammy Thompson, she's cute and all, but, I mean she's a total dud."

"She is not," Robin scoffed.

Brows furrowing together, Steve couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, she is. She wants to be, like, a singer. She wants to move to, like, Nashville and shit."

"She has dreams!"

"She can't even hold a tune. She's practically tone-deaf," Steve said, causing both to laugh. Robin had been the most honest she ever had and the issue she did not see herself dealing with was that Steve and Alex wouldn't like Tammy. She had been the issue and did not stick on the fact that she was a girl. Even if Tammy Thompson was considered a dud between the two, Robin was filled with warmth to know they knew the truth.

This happiness had led the two to duet with one another in their impersonations of Tammy Thompsons' muppet voice. It had been a genuine, heartfelt moment shared between the two. And just as usual, all moments like these come to an end. When this one had ended, it had come to a silent stop when the three left behind in the movie theater had burst through the bathroom doors to find Steve and Robin sitting on the floor of a bathroom stall singing to one another.

"Okay," Dustin began loudly. "What the hell?"

"You guys left me," Alex frowned. Holding onto her stomach she had felt the room spinning and her insides threatening to finally expel the drugs in her system. "Are you guys good?"

"Just totally in love with you, Henderson."

Ignoring Steve, Alex rushed into the stall next to the two, finally letting the drugs out of her system.

She held her hair back behind her, finding some relief inside her to finally let it all out. The room had started to slow around her, finally falling back into place now that she had been able to come back to her senses of sobriety.

"I would've barfed too if you said you loved me," Robin said through a laugh. Smacking her on the arm, Steve lifted himself, heading to the next stall and taking a seat once more. Rubbing her back as she threw up, Steve let out a sigh of relief that Robin had talked some sense into him.