fourteen mundane affairs

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HER FINGERTIPS WERE BECOMING NUMB BUT SHE DIDN'T MENTION IT TO TOMMY. He had his camera out, no gloves on his hands, and he took pictures of the chilled and mostly dead nature as if there was some hidden beauty behind it. When she looked, all she saw were dead trees that looked incredibly naked, nothing art worthy about them, but he saw something different.

          She wanted to ask him about it, and ask him if they could leave the park and go somewhere that had some hot chocolate to warm her up because she was getting incredibly cold. The winters here in Hilltown were no joke, and Evanora had a feeling she had already invoked its wrath for all the terrible remarks she had made about it over the months she had lived there.

          It definitely did not resemble a Halloweentown anymore; that kooky place was lively, with creatures crawling everywhere, but no one was found anywhere near the park. Besides, this place was just dead even in nature's sake, which Halloweentown would never be like. It was always alive, except for when they were all going grey in the second movie, but that's a whole different thing.

          Still, Hilltown didn't have any ghouls and ghosts, no gargoyles or skeletons. They were human...so very human. She looked at the small town life, the gossiping mothers who whispered about her and Colleen, who Colleen was so kind to take her in after the death of her mother. The rumor mill that went around whenever Carly Whatever made out with Kyle Who Cares even though she was dating some Jason – ooh-la-la!

          But it was so human, so terribly human, and everything she ever wanted. They didn't have to worry about actual demons trying to come kill them, an unsolvable murder of their mother's because it was a fucking demon who came into their house and did it. They didn't have to worry about being an overlord to other witches like their mothers and they definitely didn't have to worry about controlling the magic in their veins. But that was always a struggle for Evanora, who felt the water inside of people and how sometimes, when she was incredibly annoyed, how easy it would be to just snap and control it...

          No, that wasn't right at all. She couldn't do that.

          All she wanted was to be human, think about college and not worry about demons or a cult trying to get her to join. She wanted to be like Tommy, who photographed dead trees and had dreams of making it big with his photography. She wanted that, wanted those simple dreams and not a destroyed youth promised away to the Council because that's what her mother did.

          She wasn't her mother, though, and the Council should know that by now. They should know that she wasn't going to join them, didn't want their stupid help, and didn't want them messing around in her life. She could take care of herself, just her and Colleen...yeah, just her and Colleen.

          She could count on Colleen, could trust Colleen, and she knew that the whitelighter would protect her. This was the best thing the Council ever did for her, give her this whitelighter, and that was all she needed. Didn't need that stupid Elder Culver putting blockades on her mind and trying to weasel information about the demon before coming up with nothing.

          No, she could handle it all on her own – just her and Colleen. And when the mess with the demon went away, she could go back to being just another regular teenager like the rest of her friends. She could focus on college, finishing off her senior year with a bang, and being human. Nothing more, but she didn't need to be.

          After this, she was done being a witch. It would be the normal human life for her, that's all she wanted.

          "Are you almost done?" she called out, looking at Tommy who had his back turned to her, still taking photos. She didn't understand because he was photographing the same thing only in different angles and it had been multiple times.

          "Almost," he answered, "I just – I can't get it right. I want to capture this, but every picture just doesn't feel like enough. Like...like I'm missing something. I don't wanna miss anything."

          Evanora peered to the scene was trying to capture. "They're dead trees, not much to capture there."

          Tommy laughed, like he thought her comment was funny even though she wasn't trying to make a joke. He turned to her, and his eyes looked mirthful, it made her uncomfortable because it almost felt like he was making fun of her.

          "They're not just dead trees, Nora, they're so much more than that," he shook his head, "They're – they're beautiful. Even though they're just dead, but in the process of rebirth. Think about it, they represent the cycle of regeneration and right now they're going through the stages but eventually, in spring, they'll be reborn."

          "That's a pretty deep way to think about it, didn't know you had it in you," Evanora commented, blinking a little and focusing on the trees. Maybe he was right, what he said about rebirth, and maybe that's what she was going through. Maybe she died the same day her mother did, because she certainly wasn't that same Evanora anymore, and maybe she had been reborn here in Hilltown.

          Before, she was more Evanora the Teenage Witch than Evanora the Teenager, but she was changing that. Growing from that, regenerating to another form. And maybe, when the demon was gone, she could complete her transformation, let spring come, and change her even more.

          This was her rebirth; this was her dead tree moment.

          "Most people don't. They just think I'm the weird kid who likes to take photos," Tommy smiled at her, "But I like to think that I'm smart."

          "You are," Evanora assured him. It was automatic, as if to make sure he didn't think of himself as anything less. He was smart, and he was brilliant, and he found something beautiful in something dead that Evanora hadn't even comprehended before.

          He was a whole lot smarter than her, anyway.

          "Thanks," he shot her a look of appreciation, and she nodded, because it wasn't like she was going to disagree with him.

          "Do you think you've been reborn before?" she asked him, because her mind was already spinning around in circles thinking about her own regeneration cycle like she was the Doctor and now she had to confirm that he thought about this as well. "Like, do you think you've been a dead tree before?"

          Tommy paused, bringing down his camera. "Yeah, of course," he nodded after a moment, "It's only natural, right? I mean, I'm definitely not the emo MCR-loving kid I was in seventh grade."

          He shuddered as he mentioned that, causing Evanora to giggle at him. He looked happy that he could make her laugh with his confession, and she felt happy that he felt comfortable enough to tell her that because there was no way she would divulge her own past when she went through that dreaded emo phase...

          God, it was the worst.

          "Yeah," she said after a moment, rubbing her hands together, "I think I've gone through that to. I think I still am."

          Tommy nodded, going over to sit next to her. "Are you okay with that? Changing?"

          She thought about who she was before, the girl who liked power and liked that she attracted people who wanted to please her. She wanted people under her instead of right beside her, because her friendships were about the only thing she could control. Her life was already decided, her hair had to be a certain length, and she had to have the best grades for her future to be possible.

          She thought about who she was now, the girl who wrestled between the human and witch world, tugging towards the freedom her friends gave her rather than the chains she felt wrapping around her when magic was involved. Her life was a blank canvas now, and she was determined to fill it up with what she wanted rather than her mother, and that meant living a mundane life.

          She thought about who she could be, a girl with went to college and studied literature, who lost her connection to magic and didn't speak with the Council or other witches. She could be someone who didn't use her magic ever, who focused on her studies and had a girlfriend who had no magic either. She could be human.

          "I am," she decided, eyes meeting Tommy's, "I think I'm changing into someone who takes control of their future rather than having it decided for me. My mom...I was supposed to follow in her footsteps. She worked as this high councilmember in an organization and she was supposed to train me to take her spot. I never wanted to, but now I don't have to. I can be whatever I want."

          Tommy smiled, leaning into her and she welcomed it gratefully. This was nice, having him lean on her and leaning on him back. Equals. "Well, a dead tree always springs into something beautiful. All the color, all the flowers...I bet you'll grow into that too."

          The comment made her feel warm inside, and she leaned her head on him, watching the dead trees. They would be beautiful one day, and so would she.

☆

          COLLEEN WAS COOKING WHEN SHE GOT HOME AND SHE COULD SMELL BISCUITS. She took her jacket off by the door, walking into the kitchen where the whitelighter was mixing some mac and cheese together.

          "And here I thought I would be eating alone tonight," Colleen commented dryly, a sly smile on her face that let Evanora know she was glad she was home now. It made her feel warm inside, which was a great contrast to the cold outside, the same warmth she felt earlier with Tommy. Now, it was extended with Colleen, which she never thought would happen at first.

          She looked forward to having dinner with Colleen now rather than dreading it, wanting to escape to her room and making plans with her friends especially if she was already out with them just to get away from the whitelighter. Now, though, this domestic scene was something she craved.

          It wasn't like she had this with her mother, Juliana always focused on work rather than these little moments with her daughter. These were unnecessary and a waste of her time, but now it meant everything to Evanora as she looked at Colleen. This – this was what she wanted right now.

          A normal family had dinner together, and a normal family shared their days with each other over a good meal. And yeah, maybe she and Colleen weren't a normal family, but they were still family. The whitelighter was her family now, and they were as normal of a family she could get, so she would take it. This was better than at the beginning, and it was just a testament to how she was close to spring and close to sprouting her leaves and flowers.

          "And let all your cooking go to waste? I don't think so," Evanora shook his head, a small smile gracing her own lips. Colleen laughed a little.

          "Dinner will be ready in a second, go ahead and set the table, will you?" it was phrased as a question, but Evanora knew it was more of a command.

          Before, maybe, she would have seen this – and even though it was so simple and small – and rebelled because she didn't want to be ordered around by Colleen even if it was just for setting the table, but now she didn't argue. She placed everything on the table, grabbing plates, and loading food on it when the food was officially ready.

          It was so domestic, so human, and she loved it. This – this was good. "Hey, Colleen?" she asked and the whitelighter hummed, showing her that she was listening and ready for whatever she had to say, "I really appreciate this, thank you."

          She didn't say thank you often, or show gratitude especially towards the whitelighter, but it felt necessary today. And she wanted to say it, wanted Colleen to know that she appreciated her efforts. It was them against the world, against the demon, and she thought the whitelighter should know that.

          "For what?" Colleen raised an eyebrow, a little suspicious but for the most part still relaxed. Intrigued, but not worried, calm where before she would have been a storm.

          Evanora shrugged. "Everything, I guess. I just – I want you to know that I appreciate you."

          Colleen blinked in surprise, because this wasn't the regular Evanora, this wasn't how she usually acted, but she was in a mushy mood after Tommy and she couldn't help herself. If she didn't tell Colleen now then she never would, and she wanted to at least say it once in her lifetime.

          "I appreciate you too," Colleen admitted before clearing her voice and beginning to eat. It was a small moment, and she promptly ruined it, but Evanora wouldn't have it any other way.