I'm sorry, so sorry

That I was such a fool
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

HE HISSED WHEN SHE DABBED the last of the alcohol, the sting catching him by surprise and pulling him out of his daydream, followed by an apology from her.

Melody placed the cloth down and grabbed her penlight, "I'm going to have to check your eyes. Is that alright?"

He only nodedded, as his heart beat faster and faster as Melody's pale face came up to his own. Her soft hands proceeded to brush his hair out of the way from his eyes and checking his reaction.

He was looking into her eyes while she was checking his pupils. She was standing so close he could smell the vanilla from her perfume, the same perfume that flooded his senses every time she was near.

This is what he craved. Not Melody patching him up after every mission, rather the closeness he felt at that moment. Someone caring. Caring for him.

"You did good today."

He dropped his eyes momentarily before looking, his head tilted to one side and a small hopeful smile playing on his lips.

"I did?" He asked, his voice weak and hollow.

"Yeah..." Melody sighed softly, the smallest of smiles gracing her own features as she remained crouched before him. "Yeah, you did."

However, as she went to rest her hand on his shoulder she could see conflict in his eyes. It was like there was no more air left in the world. And he was gasping, and he was panicking.

"солдат?" Melody spoke, her voice no louder than a whisper and she placed her eyes upon the broken man.

"солдат?" She asked again.

The words she had spoke in such well intentioned purity, triggered something in him that came from fear.

He had suddenly wrapped his hands around the collar of her coat in a tight grip before throwing her onto the table with such a force.

She felt the muscles of her chin tremble like a small child. There was a static in Melody's head once more, the side effect of this constant fear, constant stress she lived with.

She could hear the other soldiers in the room ready their weapons. Guns loaded and pointing towards the man above her as a sign of warning. However, he paid no mind to them.

"Stop! Stop!" Melody screamed as the sensation of a tightness in her chest and a quickened heart beat was so pronounced, it felt as if the final bars of Ravels Bolero were being played beneath her breastbone.

Her burning blue eyes darted back and forth as she took deep breathes. Her pink lips trembling as she mumbled something over, and over, indecipherable, before she could form words.

She refused to look away, even as her lips trembled and her shoulders heaved with emotion, unwilling to back down.

"Bucky... Bucky." She shouldn't have said it. She knew as soon as the words spilled from her lips in a panicked whisper that she shouldn't have said his name.

"Hey! Hey, it's me! It's me!"

A tiny lapse let him pull away, blinking lashes heavy with confusion. He looked at her. Gazing into her eyes with such a rare intensity it almost made her shiver. Buckys eyes cleared, as if he'd gained one last trembling gasp of sanity, and his grip softened. She saw a raw emotion deep within his eyes that reflected his soul. An emotion she had never seen cross his features before.

Guilt.

Words left her as all she could do was stare into those bright blue eyes burning with regret, as her heart fell silent.

...

The iron gate had been forged a century ago. It was a clear seven feet tall and made of twisted black rods. The echo of it being thrown against the wall as Rumlow and Alexander Pierce is what broke Melody from her thoughts.

"Mission report." He stated as he sat in front of the солдат.

"Mr pierce if you would just let me-" She spoke, trying to inturrupt. However, all she received in return was ignorance as Mr Pierce continued to speak.

"Mission report, now."

His hand cracked across the солдат's face, snapping it back with the force of his blow and causing the soldiers head to reel sickeningly. Melody had to turn away, almost feeling a small pain erupt in her chest at the sight.

"The man on the bridge. Who was he?"

"You met him earlier this week on another assignment."

"I knew him." Shutting his eyelids, tears pooled in the crevices between his eyelashes and his under-eyes. His face crumbled up slightly as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. In that moment he felt lost and empty like he didn't belong anywhere.

Melody slowly crept towards the two men, intrigued at what the soldier was saying.

"Your work has been a gift to man kind. You shaped the century. And I need you to do it one more time; But if you don't do your part, I can't do mine. And HYRDA can't give the world the freedom it deserves."

"But I knew him."

In that moment, the guilt was like gasoline in her guts as she heard his voice brake as he softly spoke the words. Her insides died slowly in the toxicity, needing no more than a spark to set it ablaze. The fire burnt her out so badly there was nothing left but a shell, an outline of a person.

She prayed that one day she would feel removed from her sin, washed clean of it, but the guilt was a stain on her, an ugly scar.

She watched as Mr Pierce raised from his seat, and made his way towards the exit where Melody was placed. "Prep him."

"He's been out of trial phase to long."

"Then wipe him... And start over."

Melodys hands clenched into shaking fists as she heard those words. She stared into those bright brown eyes burning with anger, and her heart fell silent.

"Mr pierce that's not necessary! Please, I can get through to him. You don't need to wipe him again."

She didn't care about the others in the room anymore. Not the other Doctors confused glances or Rumlows harsh glare. The chaos around her seemed to siphon away her hard exterior.

"Miss Moore, we exist for one purpose and one purpose only: to save the world from catastrophe." He paused for a breif moment before continuing, "With all do respect I feel it's your personal feelings preventing you from doing the right thing."

"Well Sir, with all due respect I don't think there is a right or wrong anymore. Only horrible and not-quite-so-horrible."

He laughed heartlessly, looking down at her as if she was just another child begging him for pity. But she wasn't. Instead of lowering her head she lifted it, a stony glare carved into her dark eyes. Fury blurred her sight but she tightened her jaw and glared at him.

"I'm going to have to ask you to Stand back doctor Moore."

His gaze fell like an act of violence, a glare to stop her heart.

With her heart falling into a black abyss Melody turned to the broken man sitting in front of her and placed one of her hands on his shoulders. "I'm here. I'll be here the whole time."

Angry and tremendously sorry, she turned away as her elbow was grabbed and she was forcefully dragged outside of the room. However, before she left, she turned to see him watching her with those two dusty blue eyes. She refused to look away, even as her lips trembled and her shoulders heaved with emotion, unwilling to back down.

She didn't know he felt empty and lost like he didn't belong anywhere, all because he felt her absence. It was like waking up one day with no teeth in your mouth. You wouldn't need to run to the mirror to know they were gone.

As much as she tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from her throat in the form of a silent scream as she heard his cries of pain. It was the kind of noise that made your skin crawl and made you press your hands to your ears and pray it went away.

She turned to the doctor beside her, stiffened herself militarily and cleared her throat. "Let me see his file."

Every time he opened his mouth she got angrier. "I'm sorry doctor Moore I don't think-"

"His file." Usually, at first she would swallow her retort and just do it, smile and move on but this time she couldn't, her patience was wearing thin.

As her eyes skimmed the essay before her, she focused on the picture of the handsome man she did not recognise at the bottom of the page.

"What are you doing to me Bucky?"

The guilt sat not inside her brain but in her chest. What she had done... she could not un-do.