hello. 

so i actually went to sleep last night and now i remember why i never sleep more than 4 hours a night. 

i had a horrific dream and it was not a good time 😔🤙🏻 if you're queasy or death & blood set you off, i would suggest skipping this chapter. i just need to talk about it because i'm not feeling too great abt it rn 

here's the dream. ⬇️

i don't remember a lot of it, so there will be many holes and things probably wont add up, but i do remember that there was a serial killer. (((((((: 

he was literally killing idols. i think we found out abt it because he murdered kim namjoon (😔) and then jinki right after jinki was enlisted (😔). some other stuff happened but then bam, i was at the skz concert i went to in february. 

only, it wasnt actually a concert ?? like the members weren't performing, they were just standing on stage. it was creepy as fuck, but wow plot twist !!! the killer came and yeah you can guess what happened. 

then i get home (to my old house for some reason) and the killer is waiting for me in the living room. this is lowkey kinda funny, but before i freak out over a serial killer being INSIDE my house, i check to see if my dogs and books are okay. then i freak out 

he takes off his mask (which looked exactly like him, but this is a dream so wtv) and it's my uncle. the uncle i have a restraining order against and have had a restraining order against since i was 10. anyways, he said he was so sick of me listening to kpop that he took it upon himself to kill everyone 

he proceeded to blame me for all their deaths, etc etc, and then i shove him in our fireplace—

he also gave me these rad pairs of sunglasses with white rim and pink lenses. before i shoved him in the fireplace, i mean. 

okay, that's the end. 

some stuff happened after that, but i can't remember enough to get a clear picture. 

i really don't know why my brain is like "o YES let's give sarah lovely nightmares so she can wake up feeling nauseated and uneasy 🥰," but it's Big Rude™️ and i'm disturbed

i've googled it before and i'm always getting mixed answers. my friends say i should talk to a therapist abt it, but i did when i had a therapist. she wasn't much help tho. 

anygays, if you read this far, thank you for putting up with that.