11:11 a.m

to:kenma♡
its the last day of spring

i find myself wondering

if you were here, what would do you?

would you congratulate me or kick me in the shin maybe?

that sounds about right

you would probably give me some sort of mean remark

and then fall into my embrace

and i would hold you tight.

kenma

if i asked you if you love me

you would probably say

yes of course i do

i realize that

i was selfish

i only thought of myself

i only thought of my feelings

i disregarded anything you had to say.

im sorry.

im tired of living in pain

and you wouldn't want me to

you would tell me to get my lazy ass up and

do something better for the world

you would tell me to stop dwindling in the wind

and actually be productive

so

im gonna do that

i had some time to decide my future

who i will rely on

and what i will do

and every time i thought of you

and i realized i had a mission

i told you that already.

remember how i said that when i was a child

i wanted to be a hero?

well

kenma, you would want me to chase my dreams

i won't do that

i will chase my nightmares instead

i will go out there

and fight for the broken souls that suffer from abuse

that suffer from suicidal thoughts and tendencies

that suffer from cutting their own skin in order to feel something

that suffer from anything and everything that makes them unhappy

i will go out there and i will help them

even if it reminds me of you every single time

and when they ask me why they should keep living if they are so weak

i will tell them that i knew a person so strong that they lived through nightmares

a person so strong he held out there even when he had no one else

and he still thought he was weak

if only he had help

he could have conquered the world

he would have realized how much strength he actually had

and then i will extend my hand to them

and tell them that i will be the help they need

i will be the hero they need

their strength and support

kenma i will do it for you

i will for it for the world

and if anytime i find myself in a pinch

i will just remember your smile

that will keep me going

if i ever feel down i will look at the framed picture of you

and i will read your letter to me over and over again

kenma

you would want me to move on.

you would tell me to stop being so caught up

and move on.

so i will.

but dont think i will ever forget you

you are part me, part of my soul, part of my heart

as long as i am alive, so are you.

even if there are days i don't think of you, you are still here with me.

i have to move on.

i have to learn how to live.

i have to learn how to love again.

kenma

...

you forgave me a long time ago

you forgave me even before you took your last breath

and i will cherish that forgiveness

i will keep it close

and whenever i feel hopeless i will remember your bright smile and keep moving

kenma

i love you ♡

you are my one and only

forever and always

and im yours

for the eternity

so wait for me

while i fight the evil

while i rescue those like you from the pits of hell

and one day

i will come back for you

i will come save you

my love

my sun

my heart

and my soul.

i love you to infinity and beyond.

i love you kozume kenma ♡

.
.
.

failed to send.

the number you are trying to reach is no longer in service.

.
.
.

the end.