03:38 a.m

to: kenma♡
...

look at me

i just finished crying.

i finally did it kenma.

i

went to visit

your grave.

i was avoiding it.

because visiting your grave

is the same as acknowledging that you are gone

no longer alive.

it means that i have to let go of this thought

that you will come back.

i have to realize that you won't.

instead you will wait for me on the other side.

i asked my friends to accompany from afar

because i knew that the moment i see your name engraved on stone

i will break

and i was right

as i saw your grave

flowers wilted with no one to put new ones on your grave

i just

i broke down

i fell to many knees and started wailing.

all this time i was looking up to find you

and this time...

i had to look down.

the sheer realization that you are below me made me choke on my tears

if i had gone to your grave earlier i would have dug you up

i really would have

but now

i can simply imagine you peacefully sleeping

i think

i managed to let you go.

i acknowledge that you aren't here

and that you are never coming back.

all i have are memories of you

and messages to keep me going.

i left a bouquet of your favorite flowers on your grave

i have a feeling i will be coming there often

so you never feel alone

no matter where the future takes me

i will never forget you

and i will never stop loving you.

i will never be able to love anyone as much as i love you.

delivered.