I sit somewhere in the depths of Thirteen, fiddling with the pearl Austin gave me from the oyster in the games.

The door suddenly opens and in steps Gale, my older brother. He looks at me with a gaze that is nothing but sorry. I feel so small compared to him.

"There can't be a ceasefire," I eventually say, after sitting in silence. "Not after everything Snow's done."

"He could've done a lot of damage tonight."

"And?" I ask, my voice and my body rising. "You're not the one fighting for your life in the Capitol, Gale!"

"You're not the one that watched home get firebombed!"

"It's my home, too, stop using it as a way to win an argument! Austin has the worst deal and you know it!" I yell at my so-called brother.

"So why do you think he said that, Willow, huh? Why do you think he stood up there tonight and tried to protect himself and only himself?" Gale fires question upon question at me.

"I don't know!" I shout back. "But he wasn't protecting himself, he was protecting-"

"Who? Who, exactly, Willow? The only other person he would be protecting is you! Maybe he's made some little deal with Snow-"

He stops when I drop down, exhausted, tears in my eyes. I slowly utter out. "He's still playing the game."

And he is. He's still trying to protect me.

And I am.

Because I'm protecting him as we speak.

☘︎☘︎☘︎

I wake up screaming that night. A nightmare that I can't even remember has breached my brain. Crying a river, I never stop the noise.

Until Austin runs in.

"It's okay," I assure him whilst panting. "It's just a nightmare."

"It's fine," he assures me. "I get them too."

He goes to leave when I call his name. "Austin?"

He turns. "Yeah?"

I utter three words. "Stay with me."

He walks back towards me, getting into the bed. "Yeah sure."

It's not until he thinks I'm asleep that he says his last word. "Always."

That's when I wake up in my compartment, with no warmth, and no Austin to comfort me.

"Hey," I heard a voice sound from the other bed. "Can't sleep?" I look up and see Rory walking towards me. He pulls my covers up and envelopes himself in them, lying down so we're facing each other.

"Tell me what's going on. I'm good at keeping secrets, even from mum, Vick and Posy," he requests.

I sigh. He does deserve to know what's going on. But this is a fight I don't want my family in.

"No one hates the Capitol more than me," I whisper back. "And I know I should help, but I just keep thinking, what's going to happen to Austin? I mean, I know he's not safe there, but after all he said on camera he's definitely not safe here."

Rory closes his eyes. "You really love him, don't you?"

I avoid his gaze. "So much I can't even look at Katniss and Gale together... or you and Prim."

He avoids this as he speaks again. "I don't think you know how important you are to them. Anything you want, you just have to ask, and they have to agree to it, because they need you."

I smile softly. "I should wake you more often."

"You should, I am an expert at giving advice after all," he brags in a joking manner. I slap his arm lightly as we both silently snigger.

"You should get some sleep," I finally say. "But thanks for the advice."

"You're welcome," are his final words before his head hits the pillow. He's out in a second.

☘︎☘︎☘︎

I've prepared a short speech that I'm going to give to Coin and Plutarch, trying to convince them to save Austin. I'm nervous, but I keep reminding myself of what Rory said. They need me. All I have to do it ask.

Eventually, I get taken to command (the room in which we'll be meeting) and I see Coin and Plutarch sitting at the table. I stand up and begin.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me today," I start. "I've decided I'll be your mockingjay, but I have some conditions."

They look at each other in worry as I hold up my paper, reading from it. "Austin and the other tributes, Johanna Mason and Annie Cresta, will be rescued at the earliest opportunity. If and when Austin is rescued, he will receive a full and unconditional pardon for all he has gone. And the same goes for the other tributes."

I look up, expecting to see them jump to my every demand. I see two blank faces. "No," Coin eventually says.

"It's not their fault you abandoned them in the arena," I insist. "They're doing and saying whatever they can to survive."

"Individuals do not make demands in Thirteen," Coin says, still calm. "There will be a tribunal with a fair judgement."

"The victors will be granted immunity," I can feel my voice rising. "And you will announce that in front of the entire population of Thirteen! You will hold yourself and you government responsible, or you will find. Another. Mockingjay."

I end panting with a hard face. Plutarch instantly jumps. "That's it! That's her! Right there! Isn't that who I promised you?"

"You shouldn't've made promises you couldn't keep," I retort.

Plutarch raises his eyebrows. "Willow, I know your heart's going crazy at the moment, but your head's always going to return back to what I said."

He goes back to taking with Coin and I stand, flabbergasted. "You know, if she wears the costume, with the sound of gunfire in the background, a hint of smoke, that's our mockingjay. Madam President, we're losing ground because the people are losing heart. This is worth the risk, she's worth the risk. Pardons, tribunals, power of the people, they can all be the bedrock of the new Panem, but... in this time I think even the noblest of causes can be bent a little bit."

I stare at her, begging her to listen. Finally, she looks at me. "Do you have any other conditions?"

I look down at the paper. "Prim gets to keep her cat."

☘︎☘︎☘︎

Coin did the announcement later that day, just after dinner. I walked down the tunnel with Prim and Rory on one side and Finnick on the other.

When we get into the heart of Thirteen, we see Coin, standing up on the balcony above us. She begins swiftly.

"Good afternoon. Thank you for interrupting your schedules, they have already been adjusted to compensate for the delay," I look around. At least two thousand people are in the place, which is the populations of Thirteen and Twelve together. It's not like they had any choice to interrupt their schedules.

"Thank you all of Thirteen, who have worked so hard, and welcome to our guests from Twelve. Now, Willow Hawthorne has consented to be the face of our cause, the Mockingjay, to help unite the districts against the Capitol. In exchange, I have promised her a few concessions."

She breathes in and I wince. Thirteen isn't going to like this. "First, we'll assess all opportunities for the extraction of the victors held hostage in the Capitol. Austin Thatcher-"

There's massive uproar at his name. ("Traitor!") I try to stay strong for Austin, but I sigh, closing my eyes.

"Johanna Mason..."

"Finnick, I asked for Annie, too," I whisper to him beside me.

"And Annie Cresta..."

"Good," he whispers back. I turn to look at him. "That's good, Willow."

I nod slowly as we tune back in.

"Once freed, they will receive a full pardon for any and all crimes committed against the rebel cause."

This causes more yelling. I feel eyes on me as I get most of the muttering aimed at me. But I bear it. Austin's been through much worse.

"If Willow Hawthorne fails to fulfill her duties, the deal will be off," Coin proclaims. "Thank you for your time, you may carry on with your schedules."

In other words, if I do anything stupid, we're all dead.

☘︎☘︎☘︎

"Effie?!"

I feel a considerable amount of surprise on walking into the dining hall when I see my old escort sitting there. Thirteen has obviously been hard on her, as she no longer has any frilly wigs or ridiculous dresses. She's wearing the same grey outfit as everyone else. But her head is covered in a grey turban, wrapped into an elegant knot atop her forehead.

I sit down at the table beside her, Gale and Katniss (whom I was walking with) following me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, hugging her.

"I'm a political refugee," she answers, grabbing my hands with hers.

"Plutarch rescued you?" I ask, smiling.

"Rescued, yes, that's what he calls it," she says with an eye roll. This confirms my thoughts, then. "You and I were both in the dark, Willow, and now I've been condemned to this life of jumpsuits," she sighs.

This has been one of the funnier parts of my time in Thirteen. Watching the rebels from the Capitol have to adjust to having no high fashion, just enough food to live and strict rules. But Effie? I could never laugh at her for this. Even if it is funny.

She lets go of my hands and shakes hers with Katniss and Gale. "Wonderful to see you both again, dears."

They both entertain her before she turns back to me. "Can you believe this place? I miss coffee! I never knew any place could be so strict! I mean, I thought at least in the higher ranks there'd be some... side action. I miss my wigs! Luckily I remembered that this was all the rage when I was coming up," she gestures to the turban. "You know everything old can be made new again... like democracy."

I sigh as she pulls out something that looks like a sketchbook. "Which brings me to this."

I open the book to see designs of every shape and size. "Cinna," I say softly. I look to Effie. "He's dead, isn't he?"

"Yes," Effie sounds choked up. Clearly this is hard for her, as well. "He made Plutarch promise not to show you this until you decided to be the Mockingjay, on your own. He knew the risks, as we all do. But he believed in this revolution."

I flip over the page to see a beautiful outfit that Cinna has circled. He's labelled it the final design. Then my heart melts as I see the little message he has left.

I'm still betting on you, and I always will be.

"He believed in you," Effie's voice pulls me back to reality.

"It's beautiful," I slowly touch the sketch of the final design.

"They have it," Effie says excitedly. "They have the Mockingjay outfit. There's not much of a prep team here in Thirteen but, we will make you, the best dressed rebel in history."

I look back to Cinna's note, and suddenly feel a whole new wave of support wash over me. Since Austin went, he's the first person to really make me feel like I'm not alone.