𝐍𝐨 𝐄𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐞
ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ
𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘴 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳
𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗸'𝘀 𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁

"𝐔𝐠𝐡," Noah groans as she holds the handle of her comb between her teeth. "Damn it."

The teen takes the comb out of her mouth and slowly runs it down a section of her hair from the root to the end. She puts the piece of hair back and picks up another section, smoothly brushing the dye over the strands. After hours of lighting her hair, she's on her last round of dye.

"Noah," Derek says behind the bathroom door.

"Derek, I'm not done, which hasn't changed since you asked me twenty minutes ago!" Noah says as she focuses on her comb.

"We have to be there at three," the man says.

"And I'll be there, but, please, let me focus."

Noah doesn't hear a reply, so she assumes that he's listened to her. She continues with her hair and once she finishes the last section, she lets her hair sit and cleans up. She grabs some toilet paper, wiping the dye that she spilled off the counter. She takes off the gloves she was using and throws them in the trash.

She walks out of the bathroom and into her bedroom right next door. She looks through her closet that's still extremely disorganized. She grabs a pair of black jeans and a red ribbed tank top that was Emily's. She walks around the mess that's covering her floor, accidentally stepping on something and limping the rest of her way out of the room.

Noah closes herself in the bathroom again and slides her pajama shorts off to slide the jeans on. She listens to music in the bathroom until the timer on her laptop goes off. She turns the sink water on and tips her head over, rinsing out the dye in her hair. When she's done, she dries it with a towel and runs a brush through it, but the strokes eventually slow. She looks in the mirror, furrowing her brow at the sight of her hair.

With the new color, she thought she'd look different. But she looks like herself, tired and depressed, but with red hair.

"Noah!" Derek calls from the kitchen. "We're gonna be late!"

The teen quickly throws the tank top over her head and swings the bathroom door open. She goes to her room and looks for her shoes, finding one in the corner.

"Really?" Derek asks as he watches her pick up the black Converse from the floor.

"JJ said it was the only color they had, I didn't really have a choice," Noah replies as she slides the shoe on her left foot.

Derek walks over to her nightstand while Noah slides her shoes on. When she's finished tying them, she goes to walk out of the room.

"Nice try," Derek says as he stops the teen from leaving. He wordlessly holds his hand out, revealing a fluoxetine pill in his palm.

The teen rolls her eyes and takes a deep breath. She grabs the pill and puts it in her mouth, grabbing a random water bottle on her desk and using it to wash down the pill. She shows Derek under her tongue and shoots him a glare.

They walk to the front door together and Derek opens it, allowing her to step out first. They take the elevator down to the first floor and when the doors slide open, she's met by the natural light flowing into the small lobby. She takes a deep breath as they head toward the door, squinting her eyes at the bright light from the sun.

When the first blast of the early June humidity hits her skin, it sets a fire in her chest. She feels her heart pound and goosebumps rise on her arms. It's the first time she's truly been outside since she moved into Derek's apartment.

But the dreamlike sensation quickly turns dark as she sees the agents standing by their cars. She looks up at the corner of the building across the street and sees agents on the roof as well. All this is just for her to go to a dinner party. She can only imagine what they would do when she has to go back to school.

The drive is quiet and Noah watches the black SUV follow behind them. She tries to ignore it, but there's no use.

She wonders if her life will ever be normal again. Will her father hunt her down in college or when she's thirty? One of these days, will she end up like her mother?

The sound of her name snaps her out of her thoughts. Her eyes adjust and she sees Rossi's house in front of them. Noah steps out of the car and looks at the agents following them up to the house.

"Are they coming inside too?" Noah sarcastically asks under her breath.

"No," Derek replies. "They're just here as a precaution."

He puts a hand on Noah's back and walks her inside. Noah peers into the house and sees the rest of the team. Penelope is the first to walk up and put a comforting arm around her.

Everyone notices something different about her. JJ eyes Noah's arm and the bandage that's covering the branding Doyle forced. Spencer takes notice of the teen's tank top and how it's loose around her figure, showing she's lost significant weight. Aaron looks at her shoes, noticing the crooked laces and how they have bite marks from the cat. Dave sees the dark spots under her eyes, exposing her exhaustion.

"Cherry Chocolate?" Penelope asks, eyeing the teen's hair.

"Yep," Noah sighs as she straightens out her top.

"I like it," the blonde chimes and hooks her arm around Noah's. "Let's eat."

"We have millefogle for dessert," Dave says. "And don't worry, I made you a separate one to take home."

Noah nods and shows a small smile, but it never appears. No matter how much she tries, her lips force a constant frown. Even when everyone around her is talking, she looks like she's somewhere else. She might as well be as gone as Emily.

𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘸 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳

JJ closes the front door and turns around, seeing Spencer standing behind her. He watches Noah and Derek walk down the sidewalk through the window. He can't help but show the frown that he hid all throughout dinner.

"She'll be okay, Spence," JJ says as she puts a hand on his shoulder.

He looks at her and shakes his head. "When?"

"It'll be a while."

"I just wish I could do more," he mutters.

"We all do," JJ replies and pulls him into a hug.

In the kitchen, Aaron washes dishes while Penelope dries them and Dave puts them away.

"Did you see her?" Penelope asks as she runs the towel over the plate. "It's like she wasn't even in the room. It was just a shell of a person."

"I know it may not have looked like it, but she was in there somewhere. And I'm sure she appreciated all of us being together," Dave assures the blonde.

"I'm just worried," she says.

"I know, but it's hard to put on a smile when you lose someone that important," Dave replies and puts some of the plates in the cabinet. "Even though we can't see it, I'm sure she was happy to get out of the apartment. She needed it and she got to see that, whenever she's ready, we're all here for her."

"She's strong," Aaron adds. "She just needs time to build herself back up."

𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗸'𝘀 𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁

"That was fun, right?" Derek says as he and Noah walk into the apartment, locking the door behind them.

"It was exhausting," Noah mumbles as she walks to her room.

"Noah, look, I get it, okay?" Derek says, making the teen turn around as she stands in her bedroom doorway. "You're not ready to move on, but everyone is trying to be there for you. I mean, we can't even get a small smile out of you—"

"You want a smile?" Noah snaps as she raises her voice. "That's what you want from me? Because last month, you wanted me to talk and I did that. And last week, you wanted me to eat at least two meals a day and I did that. And a few days ago, you wanted me to dye my hair and I did that. And now you want a smile?! What more are you going to ask me to give that I'm not ready for?!"

"Hey, lower your voice—"

"No!" she shouts. "I won't lower my voice, I won't smile, I won't pretend like I'm ready!"

Derek just stares at her, not wanting to say the wrong thing again. He simply waits for her to be ready to speak.

"I can't keep feeling like I'm letting people down," she says quietly as tears sting her eyes. "I already feel like I failed. Like maybe I could've done something if she would've just talked to me. All I know is that I did nothing! And I'm watching everyone else in my life, and they're all moving on. My friends are at school, going to basketball games, hanging out on the weekends. You're all back at work, solving cases, having team dinners. But I'm stuck."

Derek chooses his words carefully. "I understand. But we haven't moved on, we're just trying to do what she'd want us to do. She'd want you to be with your family—"

"She was my family! She was all I had! And now she's gone!"

"Noah—" he's cut off by the sound of her bedroom door slamming shut.

Derek groans to himself and grips the kitchen counter as he bows his head. He's a protective man, it's always been in his nature to look out for those he loves. He also has a strong moral compass, so when someone thinks differently than him, he can't understand their choices and actions. But he never thought one of those people would be Noah.

He gives her space for a while before going to check on her. He carefully opens Noah's bedroom door and peers inside. He sees her passed out under her covers with Sergio curled up by her chest. He smiles to himself, walking over to pull the duvet right up to her neck, shaping it around Sergio so he doesn't move.

"I'm sorry, kid," he whispers. "I don't mean to make it worse."

𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘸 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳

Noah sits up in bed and blinks to adjust her eyes to the darkness. She looks around and flinches as she sees a figure in the corner of her room. As her heart pounds and she tries to calm her breathing, the figure steps into the moonlight from the window.

"You didn't think you could hide from me, did you?"

Noah's eyes widen as she recognizes her father's face. She moves back in the bed, pushing her back against the headboard.

"What are you doing here? What do you want from me?" she asks in a panic.

"Noah, you're my daughter," Ian says as he sits on her bed. "Look at this life you're living. You don't wanna be here with Derek for the rest of your life. You could have a real family with me."

"I don't want anything with you," she says with disgust.

"Noah—" he says as he reaches his hand out to her, but she flinches. He slowly moves forward, putting his fingers on her cheek, then his palm.

Noah shakes in her spot, feeling a chill run down her body. The icy cold of his blue eyes moves through her like poison.

"I'm not the monster you think I am," he says quietly.

"You killed my mother," she shakily whispers.

"She deserved it."

"She deserved nothing but—"

"She betrayed me," he says, sounding desperate to convince her. "Lied to me, made me trust her, only to destroy me. To take away my freedom."

"So, you thought you'd take away mine? You'd take her life?"

"I'd take the one thing that meant the most to her."

"And what do you think that was?"

"Her life with you."

"And what did you get in return?"

"Satisfaction," he says with confidence. "And you."

"You don't have me—"

"Not yet," he says with a devilish smile. His hand suddenly falls to her neck and he squeezes tightly.

Noah grabs his wrist, but the restriction on her air is making her weak. Her strength crumbles under his controlling touch. Her legs move to try to push him away and her body jerks as it reacts to the lack of oxygen. The room around her fills with spots, but before she blacks out, she gasps for air as she quickly sits up.

She's alone in her room. Safe. It was just a nightmare.

The teen takes deep breaths as her hands instinctively go to her throat. She looks around, trying to give herself peace of mind that she's alone. But that's not what she's the most scared of. She fears her father's ability to be ubiquitous, abiding in her mind. Her nightmare is just another reminder that she can move on, change her hair, and hide behind the agents who wait outside the apartment, but her father will always haunt her.