it's been two months since yeonjun's friend's sudden death , and he's doing better now. although he's still a little more reserved than usual , he does his best to keep his head in the group's activities , both for the members and for moa's sake.

"i hope we get to do a live togather sometime again" taehyun speaks up as beomgyu leaves his dorm room , caught off guard by how the boy holds onto his wrist with a happy smile.

he thought taehyun has tagged along with soobin and kai to go get ice cream between schedules while yeonjun took a power nap. he quickly hides the cutter behind his back , smiling to his dongsaeng.

"i hope so too! we don't get enough lives togather that's for sure" beomgyu laughs awkwardly as he struggles to put the box cutter into his back pant-pocket.

"are you..... hiding something?" taehyun questions , brow raised as he looks closely to the boy in front of him , as if trying to read him.

of all people , kang taehyun

seriously universe!?

why couldn't you send hueningkai?

"hiding? hiding what? i don't hide stuff from you guys" beomgyu smiles as it's suddenly gets very hot , hands feeling sweaty.

he subconsciously scratches at his lower arm , which he always does in times of distress , the pain being oddly soothing or calming. taehyun's eyes snap to the boy's wrist drowning in the black oversized hoodie sleeve. when was the last time he'd seen him wear something other than hoodies?

"beomgyu... have you been doing something to yourself?" taehyun questions as beomgyu's eyes widen , laughing lightly as to cover up the panic he feels that is tightening his chest.

"i-i'm not taehyun , i have no reason to. why would you think such a thing?" beomgyu questions as taehyun's grip on the boy's wrist tightens.

"are you sure? you've been so.... off lately. are you sure you don't want to talk about anything?" taehyun asks as beomgyu shakes his head with a tight smile.

"no no i'm okay i swear!" beomgyu says as he tries to pry his wrist away from the younger , but much stronger , boy.

it doesn't help that beomgyu has had no motivation lately to go to the gym like he had started before ( thanks to taehyun's nagging ) so now he's so much weaker physically too. looks like both of his health levels had dropped significantly.

"no beomgyu. i'm sure something is wrong. you've been quieter lately , you get angry easily , you shut yourself in your room much more and your appetite is almost always non-existent! please... i just want to help you" taehyun pleads softly , gentle eyes meeting beomgyu's tear-filled ones.

"okay..." beomgyu whispers underneath his breath before opening his bedroom door softly , inviting taehyun inside.

"beomgyu , taehyun! what's going on?" yeonjun asks as he rubs his eyes , yawning lightly before looking to the boy's wrist.

"what? jun it's fine , i was just about to have a talk with beomgyu about what we would so for a liv—" taehyun tries to cover up the true reason to beomgyu's relief.

"umm.. what's that poking out from inside your sleeve...?" yeonjun questions shakily as beomgyu looks to him confused , gulping slightly at the possibility of being found-out.

"what...? i have nothing there!" beomgyu says defensively , yeonjun furrowing his eyebrows as he lifts beomgyu's arm up , snatching him away from taehyun's comforting and gentle grip.

"hyung!" taehyun shouts , trying to pull him back as beomgyu tries his best to pull out of the elder's tight and uncomfortable grip that makes it hard to breathe , heart pounding loudly and painfully in his chest.

"what's going on?" soobin calls out urgently as the two other boys walk into the dorm and immediately notice the commotion , dropping their ice cream off on the counter before rushing over.

beomgyu curses under his breath , tears sticking to his eyes and burning them as he tries to blink them away. his heart falters as their expressions change into ones of horror , mouths and eyes wide as they stare at beomgyu's arm. he looks up to it too , gulping , and notices yeonjun had slipped his sleeve down and put his lined arm on display.

oh i'm done for...

beomgyu swallows harshly , hot tears spilling out over his cheeks as he stands there , feeling more exposed than ever. he has no idea how long he's been standing like that , but it feels like forever. he shuts his eyes , chest painfully tight , breathing rigid , and it feels like he's about to pass out until someone steps up to him and embraces him tightly.

he opens his eyes to check who it is and notices taehyun , his heart slowing down and breathing easing down as a sense of calm washes over him as he hugs the boy back... the panic attack fading away... finally.

ꗃ will my skin feel numb to the blade ?