𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙋. 𝙎𝙄𝙓𝙏𝙔 𝙁𝙊𝙐𝙍 ─── 𝖲𝖤𝖠𝖲𝖮𝖭 𝟰
❝ 𝖤𝖵𝖤𝖭 𝖮𝖭 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗦𝗧 𝗗𝗔𝗬 ❞
❪ 𝙂𝙍𝘼𝘿𝙐𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 ❫

𝟲𝟰. ╱ ✷ ❝ 𝖽𝗈𝗇'𝗍 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒, 𝗂'𝗅𝗅 𝘀𝗮𝘃𝗲
𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮 𝘀𝗲𝗮𝘁. ❞
▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁

"𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙏 𝙒𝘼𝙎 a week ago. He's been in the hospital ever since."

"Justin has given me permission to discuss his treatment and diagnosis with you." The doctor sat in front of the Jensen family in the waiting area, "I'm afraid I have some difficult news to share. Justin has tested positive for HIV-One. And based on his symptoms, we believe . . . it has progressed to AIDS."

Riley squeezes her eyes closed, a tear rolling down her face as she chocked back a sob.

"That's . . . . how is that possible?" Matt asked the doctor. "He . . . he had the flu. He's been tired."

"Well, HIV has a long period of latency after infection, which means that Jusin may not have shown any symptoms for some time." She tells them, "With his IV drug use and extended periods of homelessness, this would have made him more susceptible to rapid progression. And according to his records, he was never tested."

"How . . . how has he never been tested?" Lainie asked, "We got him the best GP. He had a complete physical."

"Testing requires patient consent. It's not uncommon for a young man with a history of IV drug use and sex work to avoid testing."

"Sex work?" Clay asked.

"Justin never spoke to you about the time he spent homeless?" The doctor asked.

"Not about that part, no." Clay denied, turning to Riley. "Did . . . did you know?"

"Justin didn't like talking about it with me." Riley's voice was raw from all the crying she had been doing, cracking towards the ends of her sentence.

"The pneumocystis pneumonia has an indolent presentation, which means that the symptoms develop slowly over some weeks, and there was a late diagnosis. There is also a neurological infection. A fungal meningitis that has not advanced quiet so far but is pervasive."

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

𝗥𝗜𝗟𝗘𝗬 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗘𝗗 behind Clay towards Justin's hospital room, dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep that she was getting. The worry for Justin had consumed every thought that the blonde had, which only worried those around her that seemed to notice the small things.

Along with the lack of sleep that she was getting, she hardly ate, and she hardly talked to anyone outside of the hospital walls. Riley also hadn't really talked to any of her actual friends either, choosing to sit away from them in the waiting room on her own, a blank stare at whatever wall was in front of her.

Everyone was worried about both her and Justin, and they knew that when Justin took his last breath, it was going to break the Jensen girl in a million tiny little pieces that would be super hard to piece back together.

"Hey." Clay greeted the sick boy and Jessica as he slid the door open, the two of them smiling at the cousins.

"Hey." Justin chuckled.

"Um . . . how is it today?" Clay questioned him.

"Uh, it's like yesterday. Just a little worse." Justin tells him, his body shaking.

"Uh, so, there's, like, a lineup of people who'd like to see you, but I understand if you don't wanna see them." Clay tells him, "And I've organized a list and given time limits, and-,"

Both Jessica and Justin chuckle.

"Of course you have."

"I told him that he was being ridiculous, but when has he ever listened to me?" Riley rolls her eyes, Justin smiling softly at her.

"Yeah, sure." Justin nodded. "Bring it on."

"I'll send in the first appointment." Jessica says, standing up and kissing his forehead before she walked away.

"Listen, the, uh . . . . the doctor was talking us through stuff, and, uh. . . . ,"

"Hey." Alex walks into the room, a giant panda bear stuffed animal in his hands with, "I'm sorry, Charlie made me.

Justin chuckled, reaching out for the stuffed animal, "Charlie can come in too."

Charlie walked in with a smile, "See, I told you he wouldn't mind both of us at once."

"I'll put it here." Alex sits the giant stuffed animal down.

"Uh . . . they wouldn't let us bring in any flowers, so. . . ," Charlie tells him.

"So, giant bears. Basically, the same thing." Alex joked with him.

"His name's Tiger." Charlie says.

"This is a panda."

Justin laughed, "Tiger Panda. I like it."

"It's like the whole world just shifted out from under our feet. Like the darkness just closed in."

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝗜 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗞 he was ashamed." Jessica spoke to Clay across from her, who was next to Charlie and across from him was Riley and behind her was Scott, "That's why he didn't tell you?"

"I . . . I wouldn't have, like, judged." Clay tells her.

"It's not that. It just . . . .it takes time. To deal with what is."

"Zach's downstairs." Charlie spoke up after his phone dings, "He says he can't come in."

"Fucking Zach."

Riley shoots up from her seat, quickly walking away.

"Riley! Riley!" Scott moves after his fiancé, "Riley, don't do anything stupid!"

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"Hey! What the fuck!?" Riley rushes out of the hospital, shoving at Zach's back as she moves closer to him, Scott and Charlie right on her heels.

"I can't, Riley. I just . . . ," Zach trailed off, "Hospitals."

"I don't care! You need to get upstairs to see Justin."

"Riley, I watched my dad die in this hospital." Zach looks up at her.

"And I had to identify my mother's body this is fucking hospital at fourteen! I had to identify my father's body! I had to listen to Matt and Lainie explain to me that my best friend was fucking dead right down the hall from where Justin is!" Riley hits at Zach's chest as she screamed, tears streaming down her face, "You think I want to be in that fucking waiting room, waiting for the moment his heart stops beating?! Because I don't! I don't, Zach! But you don't see me throwing a fucking pity party in the hospital parking lot! So get the fuck upstairs and see him before you fucking regret it!"

"Riley! Riley!" Scott grabbed her by the waist, pulling the blonde away from Zach. "Come on, baby, calm down!"

Charlie and Zach look in in shock as Riley lets out a heartbreak scream, collapsing in Scott's arms as loud and haunting sobs leaver her lips.

Scott slowly sinks to his knees, keeping Riley tightly against his chest as he rocks them side to side, "It's okay. It's okay, I got you."

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝗜𝗧 𝗞𝗘𝗘𝗣𝗦 his blood oxygenated and helps protect against organ failure." The doctor tells the family of four.

"How long does he have to be on it?" Asks Clay.

"Clay. . .," Riley's voice cracks.

"He may never be able to breathe without it again." Matt tells his son, putting a hand on his niece's shoulder as she covers her face with her hands, the blonde's shoulders shaking as she silent cried.

"So, like, when he gets out of the hospital?"

A sob leaves Riley's lips as Matt pulls her into a hug, rubbing her back as he tries to calm her back down. Riley knew what it meant. And she wasn't ready for it at all.

"The disease in his lungs is quite advanced." The doctor says, "And we're also starting to see advance neurological symptoms. The goal is to keep him as comfortable as possible and manage the symptoms as best as we can."

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗩𝗔𝗧𝗢𝗥 doors open, Riley standing up as Zach walks out with Charlie and Alex. The two stare at each other, both with blank stares on their faces before Riley's bottom lip trembles and Zach pulls her into a hug.

The two cling onto each other as the others watch the two with sad smiles, the two of them having known Justin the best and knowing that they needed each other at that moment in time.

"I'm sorry." Zach whispers just for her to hear, "I'm so fucking sorry."

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝗛𝗜."

Justin smiles as Riley stands in the doorway of his room, having been the only person who hadn't come to see him on their own, "Hi."

It had been days since she had heard his voice, heard him laugh and the sound of the one word leaving hips lips was enough for her to crack, a strangled cry leaving her lips.

"Hey, don't . . . don't cry." His breathing is labored, holding his arm out.

Shaking her head, she moves to gently crawl into the bed with him, letting him wrap his arm around her waist as she rests her head on his shoulder, "I'm so mad at you."

"I know."

"Why are you doing this to me?" Riley cried, holding onto him as tightly as she could without hurting him. "Why do you have to leave me too? I . . . I didn't want to go to another funeral. But now I'm gonna have to, and I can't handle it. It's gonna be like losing a piece of myself that I'm never going to be able to get black. It's gonna leave a terrible hole in my chest, and I'm not gonna be able to be myself anymore with you gone."

Jusin shakes his head, his own tears falling from his face, "You . . . you're gonna be okay with . . . without me. You're gonna . . . have Clay, and Scott. You'll . . . have all of our friends."

"It's not the same." Riley cries, sobbing, "It's never going to be okay."

"Maybe . . . maybe me and Jeff will . . . be friends up there. Watch over you . . . together." He smiles sadly, "You're going to move on with your life. Be . . . be the best damn . . . psychologist you can be. And you . . . you and Scott are gonna get married and be the best parents one day. . . name your first kid . . . after me." The two of them laugh sadly. "You . . . you're my best friend and I don't know how . . . I would've gotten through this life without you. You . . . you're more than just a best friend. You're . . . . my sister."

"And you're my brother, Justin." Riley cried, hugging him tight, "I love you, Justin Foley."

"I love . . . you, Riley . . . Jensen."

After a few more moments alone with the boy, and many more heartfelt words, Riley walked back out into the waiting area where everyone was waiting, letting Scott bring her into a hug as Jessica walked past them to have a turn with Justin.

"Are you okay?" He kisses the top of her head.

"No. No, I'm not okay."

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

𝗥𝗜𝗟𝗘𝗬 𝗔𝗡𝗗 Clay lay their heads on one another, Matt and Lainie sitting at the end of Justins bed while Justin lays with his head back, eyes closed.

Riley picks at the threads on her jeans with one hand as her other hand is wrapped tightly in Justins. She can feel his hold slacking up just seconds before the heart monitor that Justin was hooked up to begins to flatline.

A nurse soon comes into the room to turn it off and the family begins to cry. Riley stands up from the chair, slowly walking out of the room with her arms wrapped around her body.

"Riley." Zach is the first one to stand up as he sees the blonde coming out of the room.

"He . . . He's gone." Her voice cracks before she begins crying, letting Scott wrap her in his arms.

"After all that, after . . . everything, this is how it ends."

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗗𝗜𝗗 we get here? Again?" The priests stand before the crowd of people in attendance for Justin's funeral. "We made a cruel world. My generation, my parent's generation. Too little caring. Too much hate, anger and hurt. We talk a good game about protecting our children, but we leave too much on the table that might surely save their lives."

"Justin Foley died of a disease that from its inception thrives in silence. And there are a number of such diseases, a number of ills that thrive when we are silent about them. Because we let our fears, our shame, our twisted moral codes keep us in silence, as death stalks more children."

"I say enough. Enough shifting blame. Enough pointing fingers. Enough confusing those who report he damage with those who cause it. Let us remember Jusitn for his accomplishments on the football field and the basketball court. Let us remember his smile that I am told melted a hundred hearts. But let's also remember his death with sorrow and determination that sour us . . to action. Amen."

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

𝗥𝗜𝗟𝗘𝗬 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗦 in front of the podium, hands shaking as she starred at all of the people before her, her paper that she had written all of her words staring up at her, waiting for her to speak.

"Justin was one of the first people to really make an impact in my life. He was. . . always there to make sure I had everything I needed, even when he didn't have it himself. He was kind, caring, compassionate. . . well to some people. Justin was more than just my best friend, my brother. He was the person who held all of my secrets and never judged me when this got hard."

"These last few years ... we went through more shit together than teenagers probably do, but even when things were tough . . . he was always there to make some stupid corny joke that always seemed to brighten my day. Justin, you will forever be my favorite memory that will never ever be forgotten. You will live on with us and guide us through life from where you are. I will love you for a thousand lifetimes. Make sure you and Jeff are looking out for each other. I love you, forever."

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗝𝗘𝗡𝗦𝗘𝗡 stay seated as everyone begins to leave the church, eyes trailed on the casket that held the lost part of them. Neither of them spoke, but the silence was enough for them to know that they were there for each other.

A tear escapes Riley's eyes as she moves to put her head on Clay's shoulder, his own falling to rest on her shoulder.

"After the funeral, I couldn't move. Couldn't even stand. Stuck. This is my life now."

Jessica moves to sit by the cousins, holding her hand out for Clay to grab onto as Scott did the same on the other side leaning over to place a delicate kiss on the side of her head.

And the four sat in total silence.

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗦 felt like they were suffocating. The felt like they were closing in on the blonde and she couldn't breathe as she sat in her bedroom alone, knees pulled up to her chest and her chin resting on the top as her eyes focused on the framed photo sitting on her computer desk.

The smiling faces stared back at her in a hunting manner, it was the very last photo that she and Justin had taken together. It was few months back, right before the Winter break, right before she went to visit Scott, and he went off to rehab.

"I think that's my favorite picture of us together."

Riley turns her head, smiling softly at the sight of Justin sitting next to her, "Yeah, mine too."

"I didn't think our lives would turn out like this. I always pictured us being friends for a lifetime and growing old together."

"The conjoined house that Jessica and Scott heavily disagreed on." She lets out a sad chuckle.

"It would've been a sleepover every night."

"Yeah." Riley smiled, "I love you, Justin."

"I love you, Lee."

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝗥𝗜𝗟𝗘𝗬! 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 did we talk about?! You are gonna go broke on Amazon!" Clay called out to Riley as he notices of the box sitting at the front door of the house.

"What? I didn't by anything off amazon!" She called back in disbelief as she walked up behind Clay, noticing the rectangle shaped box in her cousin's hands, "You dumbass! Why would it have your name on it if I brought it?"

The boy rolls his eyes, the two of them walking into the house and going to the kitchen. Riley sits her bag on the kitchen table, moving to grab a bottle of water out of the refrigerator.

"Riley."

The blonde turns around, jaw dropping at Clay held up the familiar tapes, "Ah, shit. Not this again."

"Mrs. Baker sent them back to Tony and I." Clay tells her, "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Don't look at me." She holds her hands up, "Mine are still hidden."

"This is a big feeling of Deja Vu and I fucking hate it."

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝗖𝗔𝗡 𝗜 talk to the two of you?" Riley nervous stands in the living room door where her aunt and uncle sat on the couch.

"Of course, honey. Have a seat." Lainie smiles gently at the girl.

Riley nodded, taking a seat on the couch and pulling her knees up to her chest, something she had been doing since Justin's funeral, "I know if my parents will, they left me everything. The money for college, the . . . . the house."

"The house became yours when you turned eighteen." Matt tells his niece, "It's yours, Riley."

She nodded and took a deep breath, "I think I wanna sell it. It's just too many bad memories to hold onto it."

Lainie nodded, "Okay, sweetheart, we can do whatever you want to with it."

"Okay."

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝗚𝗥𝗔𝗗𝗨𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 𝗜𝗦 that special time, not only to celebrate but to acknowledge the hard work and the countless sacrifices it tool to transform dreams into reality." Bolan stands in front of the graduating class, "And let's not forget the fortitude to carry on in the face of adversity. This graduating class has shown a special kind of fortitude. I admire you all. You've been tested well beyond the classroom, and you have endured. Now, you may not believe me. Your . . ., " He chuckles, ". . . class president and class speaker, in particular, may not believe me."

Jessica and Clay look at each other.

Zach and Riley turn to each other and smile, leaning towards one another to do some stupid handshake they had made up in middle school.

"But all we have ever wished for, myself, the educators here today, all of your parents, all we have truly wished for is to see that you are all happy and healthy and safe. This class, in particular, has made that hellishly hard."

"Hell yeah, it has!" Riley calls out, making everyone laugh.

"But I have faith in you." Bolan chuckled. "All of you. And I hope that we have taught you well. I know you have taught me. I'm grateful. And I'm proud of you all." Everyone cheers.

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝗜𝗧 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗦 down to one question. Will you survive high school? Will I survive? Because I know too many people who didn't." Clay stands for his speech; one he had shown Riley to get her input.

"You got this, Tea Kettle!"

Clay chuckled at his cousins' voice, shaking his head as he sent a playful glare in her direction. "In the past two years, three people who I loved have died. And two . . . two other people . . . who I thought I hated, also died."

Riley brings her hand up to the necklace that rested around her neck, her necklace that had just been the simple 'J' that she wore around her neck for Jeff, now had a few extra letters had been included. A graduation gift from Scott.

"But I learned that hate is too simple. Jessica's right. Hate is easy. Love and understanding are harder. But they are how we take care of each other, how we survive." Clay sniffled, "My dad love to tell Riley and I stories about when he was in high school. The stories usually involve chess club and obscured bands with funny haircuts, because the '80's were a strange, strange, time."

"But he always gets one thing right. He knows high school can hurt. That it can be painful. That there are days when that all it is. And he once told us that he's living proof. . . you can survive. You can get through it. He's living proof, and am I. And so are all of you. And the thing is, for me, for us, this class, this . . . this generation, high school actually is life or death."

"We show up every day not knowing if this is the day we die. If this is the day someone shows up with a gun and tries to kill us all. We practice what we'll do if that happens. Life or death. I suffer from anxiety . . . and, uh, depression. But mostly anxiety. I sometimes think all of us kids do, in some way. And how could we not, with the world the way it is?"

"We hear a lot of promises that things will get better. And . . . and look, maybe they will, maybe they won't. And what I think I've learned, what I wanna say to you . . . is whatever happens, keep moving. Get through it. Choose to live. 'Cause even on the worst day, there . . . are people who love you."

Riley turns her head as she feels a tap to her leg, smiling slightly at Zach, taking his hand in hers.

"There's new music waiting for you to hear, some. . . . something you haven't seen before that will blow your mind in the best way. Even on the worst day, life is a pretty spectacular thing. Thank you. Good luck."

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝗛𝗜, 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗬 girl." Scott smiles softly, wrapping is arms around Riley's waist as he stood behind her, gently kissing her shoulder as she stood with her family, "I'm proud of you."

She smiles, laying her head back so that she can look at him, "Thank you. I don't think I would've been able to do it without you by my side. Even from a distance."

"Well, I'm not the only one that wanted to see you today." Scott smiles, pulling away from as he stepped back.

"What are you - Eddie!" The blonde squealed in excitement, rushing forward to hug the boy who lifted her off of her feet and spun her around.

"Congratulations, mama!" Eddie grins before sitting her down, "Now you can move a little close so that Scott doesn't whine about not seeing you every day."

"I do not!"

"The fuck you don't!"

"Zach wouldn't treat me the way that you do." Scott scoffed, moving away from his fiancé and roommate to where Zach was standing.

"Don't be a loser, Scotty!"

"Riley, Scott, we gotta kick it!"

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝗜 𝗝𝗨𝗦𝗧 wanna take pictures that matter to somebody." Tyler spoke up from the bleachers where everyone was sitting in silence, spread out so they weren't all on top of each other.

"I'd like to make enough money so that my mum doesn't have to work." Ani says next.

"Yeah."

"I fully plan on being famous." Ryan tells them, Rily giggling at the boy. "Like not social famous, I mean, so even The New York Times knows who I am."

"I just wanna remember this day." Zach leaned back before looking at Riley, "And for Riley to admit that I'm gonna be her flower girl."

Riley laughed, "Okay, you can be my flower girl."

"Yes! Suck it, Charlie!"

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗘 box full of tapes gets thrown into the hole dug up in the ground, an extra tape thrown inside right before another shoebox is thrown down.

Clay looks up as Riley smiles softly at him, "You really did have your own set."

"Did you really doubt me, Claybourne?"

Rolling his eyes, he stands up, almost everyone who had been on the tapes standing with him, Charlie and Scott included since they had played big roles in everyone's lives, "This is where I first listened to my tape. And this is where we lay them to rest."

Tony moves to stand next to him, "Rest in peace."

"Come on, people." Zach, who held the shovel moved closer, "Let's pile on the closure dirt."

Everyone began moving the dirt around to cover the tapes.

Riley turned her head off to the distance to find Jeff standing with a smile on his face. Moving away from them, she smiled, "Well, look who's making an appearance after so long."

"I had to make an appearance for your graduation." Jeff smiles his dazzling smile at the blonde, "Looks like you're circle of friends grew bigger."

Riley grinned, turning her head to look back at them before moving her eyes back to Jeff, only finding Justin and Monty standing with him. "The three of you? Hanging out?"

Monty shrugged, "We all came to the mutual agreement to watch over you."

"Yeah, we all need to be there for our girl, even when you can't see us." Justin nodded.

"I love all of you." She sends them a watery smile.

"And we love you."

"Riley!"

"Coming!" The blonde sends one last smile at the three boys before turning.

"Hey, Cole!" Jeff's voice, and his old nickname for her, causes her head to turn back to him, "I still wanted to be thanked at your wedding."

"Don't worry, I'll save you a seat."