𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙋. 𝙁𝙊𝙍𝙏𝙔 𝙎𝙄𝙓 ─── 𝖲𝖤𝖠𝖲𝖮𝖭 𝟯
❝ 𝗗𝗥𝗨𝗚 𝗗𝗘𝗔𝗟 𝗚𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗕𝗔𝗗 ❞
❪ 𝙉𝙊𝘽𝙊𝘿𝙔'𝙎 𝘊𝘓𝘌𝘈𝘕 ❫

𝟰𝟲. ╱ ✷      ❝ 𝗂   𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁   𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝖽𝗈𝗌𝖾   𝗈𝗇 
𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗼𝗶𝗱𝘀,   𝗒𝗈𝗎   𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴   𝗱𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗮𝘀𝘀.  ❞
▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁

"𝙆𝙄𝘿𝙎 my age, they say the future is fluid. Those old ideas of what it is to be a man, or a woman are going away. I believe it's true. I hope it is. But we're not there yet. Plenty of boys think there's not much choice at all. They have to be strong .. and steric ... and in control. they have to be a man ... and hide the things that hurt the most."

"What happens when they can't hide anymore?"

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

𝗥𝗜𝗟𝗘𝗬 stares out of her bedroom window, knees pulled up to her chest as her mind wanders off just before her phone dings from the desk next to her. Standing up, the blonde reaches for her phone, unlocking it to read the group message that had come from Alex.

"Fuck."

She's quick to throw her shoes onto her feet and gather everything that she needs to take to school before she rushed down the stairs and out of the backdoor to the small shed where Clay and Justin were at.

"Did you guys -- what the hell happened in here?" Riley looks around at the mess before her eyes land on the gun sitting on Justin's bed, "Jus--,"

"Shit." Justin quickly reaches for the gun, hiding it in the drawer next to his bed to get it out of Riley's sight. "The first guy didn't work out, okay? I will -- I got it."

"You can't just leave it lying around!" Clay exclaimed.

"Just chill. I got it."

"They found Bryce's car and blood on the ground." Riley tells the two boys. "Alex said they're calling it a homicide."

"Fuck."

"They found drugs and fingerprints." Clay finished the sentence having read the same text message just moments before.

"Drugs? What--what drugs?"

"He didn't say, but they found fingerprints that weren't his."

"Okay, well, that's alright, right?" Justin zipped his bag and stands up, throwing it over his chest, "It's a car. It's got a tone of fingerprints. He probably drove his Hillcrest friends around."

"Justin, my prints could be on it." Clay tells the boy.

"Did you kill him?"

"Of course not."

"Then don't worry about it." Justin shrugged, moving to close a drawer closed.

"You don't wanna know why my prints could be on it?"

"No, I really don't."

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝙔𝙊𝙐 found steroids in the Range Rover in quantity. You thought; "Drug deal gone bad." Makes sense. Quit a few of the guys at liberty were using, it turns out. And you can draw a line from every one of them to Bryce Walker."

"One of those lines are brighter than the others. And I'll tell you why."

"Seriously? Do you have to go through every fucking thing?" Riley asked, arms crossed over her chest as a police officer went through her locker.

"Everyone is getting searched. Besides, aren't you the one that overdosed a few years back?" The police officer asked.

"I didn't overdose on steroids, you fucking dumbass." Riley glared harshly at the police officer, "I overdosed on a few pills given to me by your murder victim."

"Riley." Justin walks over to the blonde, pulling her into him as he sent the police officer an innocent smile, "I'm sorry about her, officer. Time of the month, you know. I'm just gonna take her off your hands if you are done with her."

"What the hell, Justin?"

"You can't just talk to the police like that, Lee. Are you crazy?" He pulls her towards the library, "Look, we need to find Ani and Clay to talk, it's about Alex."

"What about Alex?"

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝗜 don't believe it, not Alex." Clay denies, sliding the binder with the red case down to Ani.

Ani unzips the bag, pulling one of the small glass bottles out as she reads the label, "Testosterone Cypionate"."

"Steroids." Justin tells her, "Bryce was dealing them."

"Why would Bryce deal?" Clay questioned, "He didn't need the money."

Riley shrugged, "Maybe it was about control. Anyone who bought from him, he had a hand on them."

"But Alex, he's a mellow guy." Clay defends the Standall boy."

Ani scoffed, "Alex is mellow?"

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 is like an invasion of privacy!" Alex angerly slams the red bag down on the table.

"He got it out of a garbage can." Clay informs the boy, sitting next to Ani.

"Fuck Justin!" Alex says loudly, "He's gonna rat people out about drugs? Really?"

"Are you ... are you okay?"

"Are you? Are you okay?" Alex asked, "Ani, are you? Fuck you guys!"

"Alex....,"

"Just -- just don't tell my dad, okay?"

"Is it about Bryce?" Clay asked him.

"No. I didn't buy from Bryce." Alex shakes his head, "Luke hooked me up with a guy.

"But why?"

"Why do you think? Just look at me." Alex gestures to himself.

"I think you're very handsome." Ani tells him, "I think you're adorable.

"Yeah. Well, you're the only one in this county that would go for a skinny, sad kid." Alex says, "And you went for Clay, so...,"

Clay nods his head, "I'm gonna let that go because you're under stress."

"Wouldn't you have done anything to have Hannah love you back?" Alex asked him. "To choose you over Zach, or stupid Justin? Even before I shot myself, it's like the pieces never worked. And they're never going to."

Alex turns his head, finding Jessica walking into the cafeteria with Riley by her side, the blonde with her phone pressed up against her ear and a smile on her face.

"The quiet boy. The gentle one. 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚'𝙨 more going on than you know. But I don't have to tell you that, do I? Sooner or later, what's hidden comes out. Sooner or later, enough is enough."

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 the hell are the two of you doing?"

Clay and Ani jump, turning from Monty's Jeep to face Riley who had her arms crossed over her chest and an eyebrow raised as she looks between the two.

"We were ... we think Monty may have been buying from Bryce." Clay tells his cousin, "He hid something in the back, and we were just looking."

"You two are the most nosiest ass people that I've known in my entire life." Riley rolls her eyes. "And you don't have to break in, I got a fucking spare key."

"You have a spare key for Monty's car?" Clay asked her cousin, "You can keep up with a key to his Jeep and your car keys, but you can't keep up with your house key, tell me how that makes any sense."

"Shut up, Mr. I'm-almost-eighteen-and-I-still-play-with-barbies."

"They are not barbies; they are action figures!"

"Same thing."

"Guys." Ani catches the attention of the cousins, showing them a student ID from Hillcrest belonging to Winston Williams. "What do you think Monty doesn't want Winston talking about?"

"This was on the seat." Clay pulls something from the Jeep, showing it off to the two girls.

"Is that...blood?"

"This is a lockdown." The PA goes off, "Return to your classrooms immediately."

"But Alex and Monty were hiding some of the same things. Some of them were things all boys hide. Their secrets. Their fears. Their deep, shameful desires. Their rage at the unfairness of everything. Their rage at the world ...,"

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝗕𝗨𝗧 Monty never bothered hiding his rage. He was just desperate to 𝙝𝙞𝙙𝙚where it came from."

"Can I ask you something?" Clay asked Ani as the two sit in his car, watching Monty. "Why do you care so much? About finding out?"

"Clay ... I heard Mrs. Walker this morning telling the cops to look at you and Riley again." Ani tells him.

"So it's about me? And Riley?" He turns to look at her, eyebrows pinched together. "It's not -- It's not about Bryce? How you felt about him?"

Ani shakes her head before looking at him, "Can't it be both?"

A car staring pulls the two back to the task at hand, watching as Monty's Jeep pulls away.

"Riley is so going to kill me when she finds out we're following one of her best friends."

"The two .... they're close?"

"Have been since the day they met each other."

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝗪𝗘 followed him home and waited. There were things he was hiding . . . that he couldn't show anyone. Though some people had already known."

Ani and Clay both sit in the back of Clay's car, sleeping as it had gotten darker outside now.

"Oh, shit, sorry." Clay sits up from where he was laying with his head on Ani's shoulders, the sounds of yelling coming from inside the De La Cruz home.

"Oh, it's alright. Really." Ani rubs at her eyes, "What time is it?"

"Oh, we gotta get you home."

"Get your ass over here! Get your ass over here!" A man yells as the two get out of the backseat of the car, "Where are you? I'll split your head open, you little shit! God dammit!"

"What the hell?" Clay mumbled as the sound of glass shattering is heard.

"Hey! I see you! Don't move!" The man stumbles from the house, collapsing on the ground as Monty comes out of the house.

Clay quickly moves around the car so that he's not seen by the teenager.

Monty kicks the man lying on the ground, "Not so tough now, you fucking piece of shit."

"Do we call the police?"

"I don't know, just get in the car." Clay tells Ani as another car pulls up, headlights shinning on them.

"You get in the car!" Ani tells him, "I'm not getting in the car if you're not getting in the car."

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Monty asked as he gets a look at Clay just as Riley steps out of her car.

"Clay, what the hell?" Riley questions, an angry expression on her face.

"We . . . Nothing." Clay stutters.

"Is that blood?" Ani questioned, earning a look from Clay as Riley glared daggers at the girl.

"What's it to you?" Monty asked.

"Monty," Riley steps in front of Clay and Monty, resting a hand on his stomach to gently push him back, "Come on. Go back inside."

"Is it Bryce's?"

"Clay, are you fucking serious?" Riley turns her head to look at her cousin in disbelief, "Go fucking home. Now!"

Monty laughs as Riley tries to push him back towards his house, "No, it's mine. And his. You want a taste?"

"No, thanks."

"He was my best friend, besides Riley, asshole. Leave me the fuck alone!"

"Hey! Go inside, I'll be there in a minute." Riley pushes Monty back with as much force as she could, "Go check on Estela. Monty, now!"

Monty stares at Clay and Ani for a moment longer before turning to walk back up the hill to his house.

"Are the two of you out of your fucking minds?!" Riley spins around to look at Ani and Clay, "I get that you want fucking answers, we all do! But following people is not the way to do it!"

"Riley--,"

"Go fucking home, Clay!"

˗ˏˋ 𖤐 ˎˊ˗

"𝗛𝗢𝗪'𝗦 Alex?" Justin sits in his bed, Riley sleeping next to him, as Clay walks into the bedroom.

"Messed up. But aren't we all?" Clay replied, sitting his stuff down on his side, "How long has she been out?"

"About an hour." Justin tells him, running his fingers through her blonde hair, "You know, I really didn't think he had anything to do with Bryce, but . . . drugs of any kind, man, they fuck you up.

Clay sighs, "Yeah."

"I'll have you know; the gun is gone for good."

"Awesome." Clay turns to look at him, "Thanks."

"You seem awfully dark tonight." Justin gently moves Riley's head off of his lap to lay on the extra pillow laying on his bed.

"How are you not?"

"I guess I am. But I'm alive, so I figure I'm ahead of the game." He smiles.

"Right. I don't want to believe someone we know killed Bryce." Clay says with a shake of his head, "But it seems like everyone we know had a reason."

"Everyone's got their shit."

"Yes."

"That's why I think it must be hard to be a boy. Because they still have no idea what a man is. Men and their rage . . . and their insecurities, their fears . . . and all the things they do to keep those hidden away. Alex was right, nobody's clean."