𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙋. 𝙁𝙊𝙐𝙍𝙏𝙀𝙀𝙉 ─── 𝖲𝖤𝖠𝖲𝖮𝖭 𝟭
❝ 𝖶𝖧𝖸 𝙈𝙀 ❞
❪ 𝙏𝘼𝙋𝙀 𝙁𝙊𝙐𝙍, 𝘚𝘐𝘋𝘌 𝘈 ❫

𝟣𝟦. ╱ ✷ ❝ 𝘄𝗵𝘆 me, zach?
why 𝗺𝗲 ❞

"𝙔𝙊𝙐'𝙍𝙀 𝙂𝙊𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙊 tell me this one's no big deal...but let me tell you about being lonely. Humans are social species. We rely on connections to survive. Even the most basic social interactions help keep us alive."

"Statistics prove the subjective feeling of loneliness can increase the likelihood of premature death by twenty-six percent. If it sounds like I'm quoting from a textbook...I am. Too bad nobody bothered to read it. And let me tell you...there's all kinds of ways to feel lonely."

"Hannah Baker didn't just die." Lainie spoke to her husband as her niece and son stood next to the door in the kitchen, going unnoticed by either adults, "She slit her wrists and bled out in a bathtub."

Matt is the first to notice the teenagers, looking over at them.

Lainie followed her husband's gaze, standing up straighter as she locked eyes with the boy and girl, "Riley, Clay."

"We have to go to school." Clay motioned between him and his cousin.

"I haven't made your lunches yet."

"We'll buy lunch."

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"𝙄'𝙈 𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝙏𝘼𝙇𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂 the garden variety lonely, in a crowd lonely. That's everyone, every day. And it's not that, "when will find love" kind of lonely. Or that "the popular kids are mean to me" kind of lonely. Popular kids are always mean. That's how they get popular. I know. Ironic. Old news."

"The kind of lonely I'm talking about is when you feel you've got nothing left. Nothing. And no one. Like you're drowning, and no one will throw you a line. Well, the subject of this tape worked his sneaky magic...that's how I was feeling. And when you're that kind of lonely, you reach for anything...no matter how silly it may seem."

"I'm sick of it, you know? Just because I don't have her skinny ass body doesn't mean I'm fat!"

Riley sat in communications class in a group with Zach, Justin and Pratters, ready to get out of the class and go to her next one. She had always hated the fucking class with a burning passion.

Zach notices Riley slowly falling asleep, her head about to fall against the desk, so he reaches his hand out, quickly catching her chin in the palm of his hand before it could hit the desk.

"Did you sleep any last night?" Zach mumbled as she leaned back in the chair, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I had to close last night." She mumbled back, letting out a long yawn.

"And communications class could be supremely silly...as you know."

"Maybe she should try a diet." Patters spoke up, turning to look at the front of the class.

Hannah turns her head to look at him as Riley brings her hand up to slap the back of the boy's head, "Seriously, Pratters? Jesus!"

"I'm just saying, alright, if you're getting fat shamed, then...you know, don't be fat."

"Mr. Pratters!" Mrs. Bradley exclaimed.

"Pratters, that's like someone saying to you, "don't be an idiot and a dickward." Zach spoke up, leaning back in his seat, "Can't help it."

"Exactly. Thank you."

"He isn't on your side, fucking idiot." Riley rolled her eyes at the boy sitting in front of her, "Can I switch groups? I don't know if I'll be able to restrain myself from wrapping my hands around his neck and choking the life out of him."

"No, you can't switch groups. And watch your language." Mrs. Bradley tells the blonde just as the bell rings, "Alright, people, so remember the complement bats. Um, it's always best to give a compliment face to face, but sometimes it's easier to be anonymous. Alright. See you tomorrow."

"Bye, Zach-y." Riley playfully pulled the boy down to kiss his cheek since she was so much shorter than he was.

"Get out of here." He laughed, letting Justin pull the girl out of the room. Zach looks at Hannah who pulled a note out of her bag, "I always feel stupid."

"Looking?" Hannah questioned.

"Yeah."

"Yeah. These are the stupidest, most embarrassing things that I check every day, no matter what." Hannah tells him.

"Right."

"Sometimes the silly things can mean more than anyone knows."

"Get a good one?" Zach asked as Hannah opened the index card to find a drawing of a bunny.

"Nothing earthshaking." Hannah laughs, "You?"

"Nada." Zach tells her, "It's kind of soul-crushing, you know?"

"Seriously?" Hannah asked as Sheri stood next to her as Zach walked away, "He's Zach Dempsey. Does he really need compliments?"

"We all need it. Human contact. And communications class, crazy as it was, was human contact for me. Until someone in that class cut my lifeline...someone who is known for being sweet. I'll tell you who it is...but you're going to have to wait. Just like I did."

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"𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗗𝗢𝗡'𝗧 𝗟𝗢𝗢𝗞 so good." Tony walks up to Clay with Riley by his side.

"I think I'm listening to my tape."

"It's about time."

"What?" Clay broke out of his daydream.

"He said let him know if you need to talk." Riley repeats to her cousin.

"Anytime."

"Yeah, thanks."

"He can't be on his tape." Riley tells Tony as the two walk further down the hallway.

Tony looked down at her, "What do you mean?"

"He was just on Marcus' tape last night. He told me he was."

"That means he's onto Zach."

ミ⛧ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⛧ﾐ

"𝙄'𝙈 𝙂𝙊𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙊 play mind games with you, just like you played me. It happened over Valentine's Day...when you really feel that lack of human contact. Especially when you make contact with the wrong human. That's a new level of lonely."

"But through it all...you still want to believe there are good guys in the world. You were kind that night. You just sat there, letting me ignore you...until it was almost comical. You were so sweet. Just like Kat and Riley said, once upon a time. So sweet."

"Well, welcome to your tape, Zach Dempsey. For those who aren't Zach, you can relax. For now, at least. As for you, Zach...I wonder if you ever felt what it's like to be lonely. Like I did that day. Is it even possible to know when you're one of the most popular jocks and not one of those kinds who sits alone in the cafeteria, hiding behind a book? Have you ever noticed us?"

"Come on." Riley walked over to the table where Zach sat, tugging on his jacket, "Let's take a walk."

"What?"

"Take a walk with me."

"Yeah, I'll be back." Zach stood up and followed after the blonde out of the cafateria, "What's up?"

"Clay's closer to finishing the tapes." Riley crosses her arms over her chest, looking around just in case of prying eyes and ears, "He's not close, but he's there."

"Who's tape is he on?"

Riley bits her lip, staying quiet for a few moments, "Yours."

ミ⛧ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⛧ﾐ

"𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝙎𝘼𝙄𝘿 𝙎𝙊𝙈𝙀𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂 stupid, Zach....and I yelled at you. Big deal. You should have let it go. But you didn't let it go. You didn't like that someone told you no. 'Cause guys like you get anything you want, right?"

"You're both home early." Matt sits on the front steps of their home as Clay and Riley walk up. "Hey. Come sit with me a minute."

"I have stuff to do." Riley stated as she walked up the stairs past him, disappearing into the house.

"What's wrong with her?"

Clay shrugged, "I've been asking that since she moved in."

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"𝙈𝘼𝙔𝘽𝙀 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝙅𝙐𝙎𝙏 think you deserve everything you get...and more. Maybe you're just used to hearing the cheers of a crowd."

"Clay. Riley." Courtney spoke as she took notice of the cousins walk into the gym, "What are you guys doing here?"

The blonde scoffs, sending a sharp glare to the girl, "I don't have to tell you a damn thing. But if you must know, I always support my boys."

"It's a basketball game. I'm here to show some school spirit." Clay tells her, "Riley asked if I wanted to know and I thought, why not?"

"That's great. Great, Clay. I'm glad you're, you know....," Courtney trailed off, "Feeling better."

"Hey," Marcus walks over, glancing at Courtney for a second, "How's it going?"

"Everything's great, Marcus." Clay stated.

"What the fuck are you doing here, dued?" Marcus leaned closer to him, "What's your play now?"

"Hey, guys." Tyler walks up to them, "Can I get a picture?"

"Nothing's going on, Tyler. Just go away." Courtney says.

"I seriously just wanted a picture for the yearbook."

"If they knew the kind of pictures you really took!" Courtney starts to get aggravated as Marcus rests a hands on her shoulder, both teens stumbling slightly as Riley shoves the girl.

Riley sends a deadly glare at the two, "Don't even try to put your fucking hands on him."

"You're defending him now?" Marcus says harshly to the Jensen girl.

"So what? He took a few fucking pictures. At least he wasn't trying to put his hand up Hannah's skirt for some dirty ass cash from Bryce Walker."

"Hey." Porter walks over to them, "These t-shirts look great."

"Umm, I'm glad you approve, Mr. Porter." Marcus smiles at the guidance counselor.

"I appreciate all the hard work you guys put into it."

"Mr. Down." Marcus turns to Tyler, causing Riley to scoff, "Would you get a picture of us for the yearbook?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Come on." Riley mumbles to Clay as he starts to walk towards Zach just as they were getting ready to start the game, "Oh, fuck me running! Really? Now? Of all the places in the world. Clay! Come on!"

"Clay, what are you doing?" Zach asked, "Get off the court."

"Jensen! Get off the fucking court!" Justin calls out to him.

Zach looks off with a sarcastic smile before looking back at Clay, "What the hell, Jensen? Games about to start."

A whistle rings out, "Hey, you! Get off the court! Get off the court! Go!"

"Clay!" Riley yells out to her cousin, "Get your ass over here!"

"Hey, skinny kid, get the hell off the court!" The coach yells.

"Riley! Get the dumbass off!" Justin yells out to his best friend.

Riley quickly runs onto the court, and pulls the boy off of the gym floor, rolling her eyes, "I'm in need of a serious vacation when all this shit is over."

"Clay, you okay?" Sheri walks over to the two.

"Of course he's fucking okay." Riley snaps.

"Do you care?" Clay asked.

"Maybe you can't imagine what it feels like to be on the sidelines, Zach...like most of us are. You can't imagine why a little piece of paper could mean so much."

ミ⛧ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⛧ﾐ

"𝙐𝙈, 𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙍𝙔𝘽𝙊𝘿𝙔, 𝘽𝙀𝙁𝙊𝙍𝙀 you leave, we've added an anonymous class discussion bag to the racks." Mrs. Bradley says as the students get up to move onto their next class of the day, "We're gonna check it every Friday and talk it over."

"You do realize shilling for votes is not a compliment, Courtney." Skye turns to the girl, both her and Riley flashing her their flyers she had put into the compliment bags.

"I don't vote for that shit anyway." Riley shrugged, ripping her paper with a shrug.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Skye, but I'm proud of my efforts, and I wanted to share that with the class."

Skye shared a laugh with Riley before the two walked out of the classroom, "You don't vote? You always vote."

Riley grinned as she noticed Jeff waiting for her next to her locker, "She doesn't need to know that."

ミ⛧ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⛧ﾐ

"𝗛𝗘𝗬, 𝗖𝗟𝗔𝗬." 𝗧𝗬𝗟𝗘𝗥 sat down next to the cousins, "Hey, Riley."

"Hi."

"Go away, Tyler."

Riley hits Clay's leg, "Don't be a dick."

"You know, I get that a lot." Tyler tells Clay, "Especially lately. But today, I'm on official yearbook business." He held up his pass.

"Why are you even talking to me?" Clay questioned.

"Don't be fucking rude!" Riley hits him again.

"Because I want to see what you're gonna do next." Tyler tells him, "You really messed up Courtney. Not as much as you did to me. Still, the cemetery? That's cold."

"Does everybody know about that?" Asked Clay, "What is it? What did I do?"

Tyler looks at the boy confused, sharing the same look with Riley, "What? Clay?"

"Heads up!"

Riley jumps out of the way as the basketball comes hurtling towards them, Clay catching it in his hands.

"Jensen! Come on! Throw the damn ball!" Zach yelled up to him.

"Clay. Clay."

"We got a game, man!"

"Throw it in, loser!"

"Fuck! Riley!" Justin screams in her direction.

Riley quickly takes the ball from her cousin's hands, tossing the orange sphear back towards Zach, who catches it in his hands. The perks of having so many male friends - and her boyfriend - that played a sport.

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"𝙈𝘼𝙔𝘽𝙀 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘿𝙊𝙉'𝙏 know what it's like to need a lifeline, Zach. The day after you insulted me in the cafeteria, my compliment bag was empty. Not even a cute bunny. By the end of the second week, I knew something was up. Maybe I should have let it go, but I didn't."

"I wrote you a letter. I poured my heart out, opening up about personal things. I hadn't had the courage to admit to anyone - how hard life was getting - how lonely I felt...and how those stupid compliments actually meant something to me. And then I set my trap."

"I was hoping once you read the letter, you'd get it. You'd realize how much I needed those silly things you were stealing from me. But I guess I wasn't even worth a reaction."

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"𝗜'𝗠 𝗚𝗢𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗢 get something from concession." Riley tells Clay as she stands, "Want anything?"

Clay shook his head, "No, I'm fine."

"Tyler?" Riley asked, causing the boy to look at her in shock, "What anything?"

"Uh, water is fine."

With a nod, the blonde bounces her way down the bleachers and down to the floor, sending a wink towards one of the players on the opposite team, which distracted him long enough for Justin to take the ball from his hands and make a basket.

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"𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘'𝗗 𝗖𝗟𝗔𝗬 𝗚𝗢?" Riley asked, handing Tyler the bottle of water in her hand.

"He freaked, then ran off." Tyler tells her, "Thank you for the water."

"No problem. What do you mean he freaked out?"

"Started yelling to stop the game."

"Text me, and let me know who wins?"

"Yeah, yeah. I - I can do that."

"Why me, Zach? Why me?"

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"𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗖𝗞𝗜𝗡' 𝗜𝗧 𝗧𝗢 the man!"

Riley hears Skye's voice as she rushed out of the gym doors, finding Clay keying the side of Zach's car.

"Or, you know, one particular man who's rich enough and fucked up enough to get his asshole son a $60,000 car."

"What the hell, Clay?!" Riley rushes over to them.

"Skye, what are you? Are you at the game?" Clay asked the tattooed girl.

"God, no! Sculpture studio." Skye tells him, "It's the only time I can get the welding ring away from those shop boys. Were you two at the game?"

"We were." Riley mumbles, looking at the damage that Clay had done to the side of Zach's car. "His beautiful car."

"But it was so bad, you had to leave before halftime?" Skye chuckled.

"I can't...I can't do this anymore. This goddamn school, it's a terrible place." Clay tells the two girls with him, only one knowing the actual reason as to why he was saying that.

"You're just now coming to this realization?" Skye asked, "Where have you been for the past three years? Oh, that's right, pinning after a pretty dead girl."

"Why are you so mean?" Questioned Clay, "I thought we were friends."

"Were. We were friends."

"What happened? I didn't understand it. I still don't." Clay tells her.

"Yeah, well, welcome to a shitty world." Riley says, Skye points to her in agreement.

"Well, I hate it."

"Me too." Skye says, "I like this new...angry, Audi-keying Clay. He's got spunk."

"I think I'm losing my shit."

Riley rolls her eyes, "No shit."

"Shit's overrated. Lose it."

"No. Don't tell him that." Riley whined, throwing her head, which seemed to amuse Skye more than she wanted to admit.

Clay looks down at Zach's car, "I'm gonna be in so much trouble."

"Not if no one knows you did it." Skye spoke sarcastically.

"You won't tell?"

"Please, why would I tell? I think it needs a question mark."

Riley throws her hands up in the air as the boy bends down to scrap the question mark into the car right before the buzzer from inside goes off.

"Oh, shit." Clay stood up, looking towards the gym. "Half-time. We should go." He looked at Skye, "See you around?"

"Seems likely." Skye chuckled as he walked away, pulling Riley along with him, 'Hey, Clay. Stay angry."