HER HEART WAS IN 100 PIECES.

▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅

LOST IN FIRE (book three).
°• CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX •°

" WE'LL GET YOU HOME.
I PROMISE, SWEETHEART. "

▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅

        Harley didn't know what the hell she was supposed to do now. Bellamy left her and Octavia for dead after blaming her for what they did. It was manipulation. It was disgusting. She felt used, forced to do something she never wanted to attempt, and she was sincerely angry. She was positive she was boiling hotter than any pot of water over a fire. Bellamy had made his choices and severed the bond between them. Harley would never be able to forgive him after he left her stuck in the woods with the girl she loved but chose to poison to protect her family while her twin brother was back at a place they still knew nothing about, and she didn't even know if he was okay after nearly killing him.

But Harley was able to accept full responsibility for what she did, unlike Bellamy. She dosed the rations with Monty's algae. She intentionally poisoned Octavia and despite his help in that, she wouldn't expect Octavia to ever forgive her. Harley remembered the promise that maybe they could start over in ten years before she laid down in cryo, swapping whispers of love, bringing Harley hope that was only crushed in the end. Because Octavia would hardly look at her. She merely slapped a sword to Harley's chest that she stole from the group she attacked before storming into the woods with the expectation to be followed.

It isn't like Harley has much of a choice to split from her now. There were still those psychos that chop off people's heads in the woods, and to have someone was safer. She assumed that's the only reason that Octavia hadn't told her to float herself for now. It was better to have two sword wielders than one.

"What are we supposed to do? Go back?" Harley breaks the silence in hopes Octavia wouldn't snap, but disappointment hits fast when she does anyway.

"Do what you want. Your brother will be waiting for you in Sanctum... If he's still alive," Octavia deadpans without looking back.

Harley stops in her tracks. She felt as if Octavia had stopped and gone for the lowest of blows by striking her as hard as she could, and the pain in her gut was evidence of that. It was said so coldly that Harley doubted she meant it and she was only running on fury built from the grudge she held, but it still didn't make it okay to say. Murphy was at Sanctum dying because she was infected by a toxin and stabbed him repeatedly. She could retort, claim that at least her brother would want her around, but she doesn't. Harley's eyes burn as she bites her tongue. She knew she deserved that, and more.

"I'm not leaving you here alone," Harley mumbles instead. She hears Octavia scoff, leading her to sigh as she picked up her pace to catch up with her. "Octavia, let me try to prove to you - "

"You know, you're still as insistent as you were at the dropship," Octavia fires at her. "Will you ever be anything but the lapdog that follows everyone else around before you realize - "

Harley makes a pained noise that cuts Octavia off. She didn't want to hear the end of that sentence. She stands in front of Octavia so she has no choice but to stop and stare at her with the glare seen clear in the dark. "I didn't learn to fight to impress you. I did it for me," she states with disbelief.

"Because I was tired of relying on other people. War will always be our only option, and I... I realized that. I wanted to be better... Better than who I was, and that made me into this." Harley pauses so she can swallow instead of break and cry. "I changed. And so did you. Everything I did, I did for my people the same way you did. And I'm sorry, okay?"

There's a long, heavy pause that stretches for too long as the pair stare at each other intensely. Harley hopes something could pass between them - maybe a mutual understanding. She wishes that Octavia would finally understand how much Spacekru meant to her, the same way Wonkru meant as much to her. Octavia did awful things in that bunker to ensure they would survive, and Harley did terrible things to her so Spacekru would survive. Maybe they weren't too different after all. And if they wanted to survive now, butting heads wasn't the way to do it.

"We should go," Octavia, at last, declares quietly like Harley said nothing at all. "The enemy should be close. If we take them down, we have a better chance."

At least it was a start.

Harley can hear the roar of the ship's engine start to fall into nothing as it takes off towards Sanctum. She can still feel a twinge of bitterness. Who knows how long it'll be before she sees Murphy again? What if she dies in the woods, and he never knows how sorry she was? What if he dies in Sanctum, and she was too late to be there to say good-bye?

Foreign voices start to come from the trees as they creep closer. Harley holds her breath in fear they'd hear their approach. She can see a small group of adults standing, nearly camouflaged in the woods with their clothing covered in various leaves, patches of wood, twine, covering ripped cloth. One of them had a child draped in their arms who wasn't moving an inch.

"... A new host intervened before I could get away," one of them announces through a few pants like he was out of breath.

The man in front of him lifts his gas mask. "What do you mean, a new host?" He demands in confusion.

"From Earth. She had the blood. I saw it with my own eyes," he insists. Nightbloods, Harley realizes. What did they want with Nightbloods? She never thought anyone on this new planet would carry the gene that would give them black blood. Clarke and Madi were the only Nightbloods that survived, so he must have been referring to one of them, but Harley believes he means Clarke. She'd never let them see Madi was a Nightblood if the gene meant that much to them. It'd mean putting her in harm's way, something she'd never do.

"Where are the others?" The one who seemed to currently be in charge asked.

"They took hostages. We need to question them," he answers.

This is when Octavia decides there's no better time than to dramatically reveal their presence by abandoning their hidden spot behind a bush. "The others are dead, and you're about to be," she threatened.

The one Harley assumed was in lead slowly turns with his hands lifted in what she guessed was surrender. He had dark skin, brown eyes that studies the two he didn't recognize carefully as if he was assessing them. His voice is deep as he defends, "We have no quarrel with you."

Octavia cocks her head and storms forward with Harley at her hip. "You should pick up a weapon," she recommends darkly with the sword pointed towards him.

They barely make it across the clearing before he brings the mask to cover his face again. Harley feels her instincts kick in slowly as he slams his foot into a patch of flowers like they were a hidden button and before they can get too close, a purple gas explodes from the ground and sprays them.

"The forest is my weapon," he announces.

Memories of acid rain hit Harley as the gas flows over her. The gas was no different. It licks across her skin like fire as it mists her clothing. Her throat burns and swells as she gasps for air. She coughs, spluttering in quiet shouts of pain as she falls to the ground, her sword dropping in the grass next to her. Octavia isn't too far behind either. Harley thrashes against the grass, her skin and lungs screaming as they beg for mercy against the way they ignite in blazes.

"Please," Harley sobs even though she doesn't know what she's begging for. She just wants it to stop. "Please!"

"We call it mace plant," she faintly hears him explain over their cries of anguish. "Don't worry. You'll survive. You'll just wish you hadn't."

Harley already does. She feels like it'll kill her, like the mist was fire, the flames of it enveloping her as the gas fills her lungs and takes away her oxygen. Make it stop! Her mind screams, but Harley can't make it out. She can't beg for them to stop.

"Nice work, Xavier," a woman compliments the one who caused them this pain. Harley can hear a grin in her voice and it makes her cry out again. "Get them ready to move. Three primes, a pile of guns, the child with royal blood, and two girls from Earth - not bad for a day's work. Let's see the old man reject us now."

It doesn't stop until morning.

Harley isn't sure if she was breathing the entire night as it passes. She can't fight them off no matter how bad she wants to. Her limbs can do nothing but weakly lash as they bind her with rope. Her skin had tinted pink from the weapon they used to protect themselves and it only rubs painfully. Harley is able to take her first deep breath when the sun rose over the trees as the pain starts to subside.

They had to practically carry Harley and Octavia to yet another clearing, possibly growing closer to their camp, and when their wounded were able to fight back, they had no choice but to stop. It quickly became a brawl that turned into an interrogation. Harley's stomach was pressed against the ground covered in moss, blood dripping from her nose. She swiped her tongue over her upper lip and tasted the metallic liquid.

"Stop lying. We know the one called Clarke is a host," the woman who talked about an old man sneers at Octavia after striking her.

"Take it easy," another warns her.

"Shut up," she snaps. "One of them is bound to talk." She took a step closer and demands to know, "How many more black bloods came with you?"

Blood was dripping from Octavia's mouth and flies through the air as she spits it towards her in response. Their attacker flinches as it splatters across her face before her lower lip curls and she raises her hand to hit Harley this time. She thrives in the way Octavia weakly lurches to stop her, but it useless to do so with the rope around her wrists.

"No," the one they learned was named Xavier orders before her hand can make contact with Harley.

She slowly turns around. "So help me God, Xavier, if you say the old man wouldn't approve one more - "

"No, he would not," Xavier interrupts anyway.

"He's right," another adds. "The old man will get them to talk once we get back."

"The old man won't even talk to us!" She hurls back angrily. Harley is silent except for weak pants that escape her lips as she tries to absorb the information given, even if she doesn't understand. It could be useful later. "We don't even know if he's alive. What are we gonna do, walk into the anomaly to find him? I'm not. Are you? How about you, errand boy?" Harley's eyes flicker to Xavier in confusion. She wrongly guessed he was the one who led them. "I didn't think so. No more walking." She yanks a gun from her belt. "We burn the heads, and kill the host child and the Earth girls so we can get - "

Both Octavia and Harley scramble to push themselves up. They're larger than the little girl from Sanctum, Rose, who broke free from the parallelization around the same time they did and act as a shield. She's young, afraid, her knees pressed to her chest to seem as small as possible. It makes a flip switch in Harley, something telling her that she had to protect Rose from their enemies.

There's a click of a gun, this time coming from Xavier, who pulled out his own and flicked the safety off. She stares at him, hard. "You're gonna shoot me, now?"

"I'd really rather not," Xavier admits flatly. "The rest of our unit is expecting you."

They glare at one another like they're having an intense argument with only their gazes before she finally breaks it. "Move out!" She shouts to the rest before storming away to take lead.

Complying, the rest work to gather their supplies as Xavier picks up the rope connected to Harley, Octavia, and Rose. He nods towards them and says, "You're welcome." And gives the rope one harsh yank over his shoulder.

Harley makes a surprised noise as it immediately pulls her to her feet. Her boots drag across the ground as her nose pounds. Maybe it's bruised, likely broken, but she won't cry from the painful throbs. Her only choice is to follow, Rose stood in-between them, seconds away from bursting into tears. Somehow, that sight alone is more painful to Harley's heart.

"Talk to them, please," Rose cries in a plead with them softly. "They'll kill us if you don't."

"We won't let that happen," Harley whispers back, quiet but firm. She was seconds away from throwing her body over Rose's before they could be shot at. She was just a kid who has likely never been away from Sanctum. Harley wanted to bring her home. Rose reminded her of a girl her age from the Tondc village before it was bombed, someone who long ago died in the fire, someone she wished she could remember. But she knew it was someone she couldn't protect when she most wanted to. Harley could make amends for that now.

Rose's face pinches as tears brim her eyes. "But they're monsters," she continues to insist in terror.

Dark green eyes flicker to the back of the enemy's head. "So am I," Octavia snarls.

And for maybe the second time in Harley's life, she felt like one, too.

━━━━━━━━

They must be tired of beating the crap out of Octavia and Harley for answers after awhile. They take a break near a tall slope and tie the three to the thick trunk of a tree, the rope wrapped around their necks so tightly that if they squirmed too much it would tighten against their throats and cut off their airway. Poor Rose was smashed in between them, but she must have felt safer that way, as her chin was pressed over Octavia's shoulder, and her arm was safely nested under Harley's. That didn't stop Octavia from trying, though, as she rubs her wrist until they're raw and bleeding to break free from her bounds. She only stops when Xavier crosses the slope to come closer.

A bag was thrown at their feet. Xavier knelt so he could rustle through it before retrieving a metal can. He pops open the lid and reveals it was holding a strange piece of something that looks like it's already been gnawed on. Xavier thrusts it towards Rose who grimaces, her lips pressed tightly together with a shake of her head. "Go on," he insists with a smile that he attempted to make look friendly. "It tastes better than it looks."

Harley scoffs. "Is that supposed to be food?" She questions flatly.

"Something like that."

Octavia simply kicks it out of his hand with a swing of her leg. "She said no."

To their surprise, Xavier lets out a small laugh like the action was amusing. "You've got a gratitude problem, you know that?"

A sudden shout coming from his people comes from behind him. Xavier sighs and shoves what he claims was food back in his sack. "Stay quiet, and maybe you'll live," he suggests. He stands before adding with a nod towards Octavia's bloodied wrists, "Oh, and you'll tear through your radial artery before you tear through that rope."

Fortunately, Xavier leaves then. Unfortunately, no matter how Harley tries, she can't hear what they're discussing. She distracts herself when her gaze lands on the bag Xavier left behind. Her eyebrows raise. She doesn't know if he was flat out stupid or wanted to help them, but she could see the handle of a knife sticking out of the pocket. Harley makes a soft noise to grab Octavia's attention and mumbles her name before jutting her chin in the direction of it since she was the closest.

They don't have to speak to understand one another. Octavia catches on almost immediately and sticks her boot out, dragging it towards her. She lowers her hands at an awkward angle to claim the weapon as hers. Rose's lower lip wobbles as the enemies' voices raise in a way that must scare her, and Octavia shushes her, "Shhh. You'll be with your friends soon," she promises.

They're too distracted in whatever was upsetting them to notice Octavia flicking the blade towards her so she can drag it back and forth through her rope. "Free us first," Harley whispers to her. "It's the only way we can keep her safe if they realize what we're doing." Octavia nods back to show she understood.

She can feel Rose tremble next to her. She's petrified of being caught, of the enemies, and Harley realizes this is something she's never been exposed to. Harley was a young teenager when she was arrested and placed in the Skybox with others who scared her to death from their crimes. Then she was on Earth, lived through war after war, something no child should ever have to do. Rose didn't deserve this any more than Harley did, but it was up to sure to decide it ended here for her.

"Hey, Rose, it's gonna be okay," Harley reassures her softly. Something soft and warm spread through her as Rose carefully turns her head to look at her other side at the same time Octavia's wrists snapped free. "See? We're already closer to getting you home." Harley feels satisfaction when she sees Rose's lips twitch into the smallest, convincing smile.

The group still isn't watching as Octavia shifts to cut Harley's rope next. She's free to tug the rope off their necks as Rose is next, relieved to be let loose but afraid of what would come next. Harley knows how far these people will go to find them, but she'd run to the ends of the world to keep them safe.

But by the time they did notice, they were already long gone.

━━━━━━━━

Harley's lungs squeeze in her chest due to the rapid pumping of her legs. They haven't stopped for a break for what must have been hours. Her chest was burning, the rest of her body aching with tiredness and begging for her to relax, but she wouldn't stop or falter. She knew it was a matter of time before they were caught. The tracks were closing in on them. Harley was so worn out that she only wanted to throw herself on the ground and let her legs that felt like jelly take a break, but she can't. One wrong move and it was all over.

It was Rose who had started staggering weakly. She releases a few pained breaths as Octavia grasps her hand and gives her a tug. "Come on," she urges.

Rose rips away and comes to a pit stop, her legs swaying like she was unsteady. "I can't run anymore!" She whines. Harley nearly falls over when she finally stops too and believes her legs would fail her at any second.

Octavia whirls around and jabs a finger behind her. "Rose, they're trying to kill us. If you stop, you die," she spits.

Their faint voices get closer and Harley can feel her already racing heart pick up again. However, it starts to slow when Rose spun away from Octavia and rams herself into Harley's stomach, her arms wrapping around her hip tightly. She froze under the touch, one hand falling unsurely on her shoulder as the other cupped the back of her head, fingers laced through her curly hair. Harley can feel her body shake with silent cries and the tears that seep through her shirt.

"Octavia," she says quietly. "She's just a kid."

Octavia's expression softened with realization. She crouches until she can be eye-level with the back of Rose's head and gently touches her back. "I'm sorry, Rose, but please listen to me," she requests in a sudden gentleness. Rose doesn't let go of Harley, but she pulls her face away, revealing tear-stained red cheeks. "I know you're scared. But fear is a demon. Close your eyes and just tell yourself you're not afraid."

It takes a second of hesitation, but Rose eventually squeezes her eyes shut, and the tears stop spilling. "I'm not afraid."

"Good," Octavia encouraged. "Good, see? That's how you slay the demon. So no matter what you hear, you keep your eyes close, and you keep saying it, okay? Do it."

Rose nods and kept her eyes closed, mumbling, "I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid."

There's a sudden flash of shadows by a few bushes behind them which only meant one thing: they were caught.

Harley curses under her breath and quickly leans down so she can scoop Rose in her arms. She's almost too heavy to carry, but adrenaline had finally kicked in. She keeps her arms wrapped around Rose's back who's legs curl around her hips in return. Harley can feel her small hands digging into her jacket to keep a tight hold on her as she bolts again without letting go. At least her limbs couldn't possibly fail her now.

"I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid," Rose continues to mumble, the words filling Harley's ears from her face being buried in the crook of her neck.

"We'll get you home. I promise, sweetheart," Harley pants in a vow.

Suddenly, a few of their kidnappers block off their path. Harley tightens her clutch around Rose and stumbles. She would have fallen, but Octavia's arm shot out to catch them, but it turns out to not have mattered. They're surrounded in seconds.

Rose starts to slip from Harley's arms. She gently lets her fall until her feet are on the ground, keeping her upright with an arm thrust in front of her protectively. Octavia chooses to pick up a long stick from the ground and position it as they circle around the three who point guns towards them. Rose's cries grow as they hear gunfire rip through the air, but Octavia immediately takes them both down, throwing her body over Rose like a solid shield. Harley hits the ground with a grunt, hard, but she keeps her arm over Rose's head so she won't lift it.

But the bullets aren't aimed towards them. Gunfire tears through their attackers who cry out before crumbling to the ground, their weapons following them. A few bright lights beam at them from the taller slope, ones that look remarkably like bikes, as a few people climb off them and cautiously grow closer. Harley squints to see but doesn't rise as Octavia does just yet because she doesn't trust they've really been saved. She can't risk Rose's life.

"Nice stick," someone calls out to Octavia, amused by the choice of weapon. Harley tilts her head in confusion when she sees it's none other than Diyoza and wonders how the hell she ended up here.

"Rose! Oh, thank God!" Another woman exclaims in relief. Harley glances down to see Rose perk up like she recognized the voice and lets her guard down for the moment since she knows who the voice belongs to. Harley pushes herself up and helps Rose stand too as the one she recognized to be a guard from Sanctum start to dart towards her, only to be stopped by Diyoza.

"Not yet. Make sure they're all dead," the Colonel ordered.

A body leaps up and Harley barely has time to whip around when they start shooting rapidly towards them as they sprint to get away. Diyoza raises her weapon to shoot back, but Octavia shoves her arm down. "No, that one's mine!"

Harley tears herself from Rose's side for the first time since they've started running to drop next to one of the dead bodies. She risks being shot to clumsily pull a knife from their belt and flick the handle behind her head, one leg thrusting in front of her with her weight shifted forward before she flung the weapon at her target. Harley wasn't going to risk them getting away. The firing ceases to nothing as the blade embeds in their lower back with a sick thud and they cry out, tumbling down again.

Only a few seconds have passed, but it's enough lost time for Octavia to take off after them because the way they squirm, frail, tells her they aren't dead. She jumps on their back, knees pinning them down, and wraps her hands around her jaw. Octavia makes one swift movement, an awful crack sounds, and their body falls slump beneath her.

Harley lets out a relieved breath she didn't know she was holding. "Octavia, are you - " But is cut off when the woman accompanying Diyoza lets loose a series of sobs, racing towards the spot where Harley abandoned Rose -

She's still where she left her. Rose's eyes had fallen shut, her body completely slack. A stain of black blood dampens her shirt.

Harley's hand slaps over her mouth before she can cry out in anguish. She watches in silent horror as Rose's body is cradled by the woman who screams out in grief.

It would have been Harley if she was still standing there.

She almost trips over her feet as she stumbles to Rose. She was shot in the chest because Harley wanted to stop the enemy before she could get away. Guilt washes over her until she's only able to breathe in the emotion and it brings her to her knees.

Harley didn't even realize she had begun crying tears of sorrow until she chokes out, "In peace, may you leave this shore."

You promised! Harley screamed at herself in her mind.

The broken guard who failed her mission sobs as she stares at Harley who strokes her fingers through Rose's hair. "In love, may you find the next."

You should have never left her there.

Her hand presses against Rose's cheek. It was still warm under the touch of her palm. "Safe passage on your travels until our final journey to the ground."

It's all your fault!

This time, Harley can't hold back the sob as she finishes the good-bye lineage with a shattered, "May we meet again."

A hand presses over Harley's shoulder but because she recognizes the touch, she doesn't tense. She presses into the feeling of comfort. Octavia doesn't try to convince Harley that it wasn't her fault, that Rose's death wasn't to put on her.

Because it was.

Another cry breaks from Harley as she smooths her hand across Rose's forehead one last time like the touch could somehow make-up for her mistakes. Like it could bring her back to life. But it can't. These were her mistakes that cost an innocent girl her life. What's done was done. Harley could never take it back.

The poor guard is completely numb as Diyoza helps her wrap Rose's body in a blanket. Harley doesn't stop watching through a blurry vision, her heart breaking into shattered pieces before falling into the empty pit of her gut. It was like she was torturing herself because the guilt was nearly eating her alive. She felt as if she deserved to feel that pain of losing someone because you were too slow to save them.

"I supposed our deal is off," Diyoza mumbles somberly. The woman doesn't answer or even glance towards her. Diyoza sighs and turns around. Her jacket was unzipped and Harley would have been surprised if she wasn't coughing in the waves of guilt when she sees a swollen belly. Octavia marches away from Harley's side and scavenges through the weapons next to the bodies, catching Diyoza's attention who calls, "What are you doing now?"

"One of them wasn't here," Octavia says dully. She must have been taking the death the same way Harley was. "I'm gonna find him, and I'm gonna kill him," she decided, swinging a line of weapons over her shoulder. One thing was clear: she was going to avenge Rose.

"Was he their leader?" The guard who cradled Rose questions with a waver in her tone.

"No," Octavia responds. "Their leader is some old man who - "

"You saw him? The old man?" She pressed.

"No," Octavia answers as she knelt next to another body. "From what we heard, they don't even know if he's dead or alive."

Diyoza straightens as if an idea suddenly hit her. "But if he is alive, and I kill him..." She trails off.

She nods in return. "The Primes will honor the deal. I'm sure of it."

Diyoza grins. "Then consider it done."

The guard shifts Rose so she can grab her helmet. "Good luck."

"Wait," Harley stops her before she can pull it over her head. She pauses to look at her. "What happens to Rose now?"

She hesitates like there's something about Harley she deemed untrustworthy before tugging the helmet over her head. The window shield is flicked up so Harley can hear her muffled response, "I'll bring her back to Sanctum where they'll have a ceremony per tradition for our lost ones."

Harley nods like she can somehow accept this. She still hated herself more than anyone standing there. "Can you..." She takes a deep breath. "I know you owe me nothing... But could you tell her family I'm sorry?"

There's only a hint of a nod, but Harley takes it. The guard sped away, taking Rose with her.

Harley turns around to see Diyoza guiding one of the two bikes left behind. "Looks like you earned another partner," she declares. She smirks when Octavia only seems annoyed. "Oh, come on. I'll teach you how to ride this thing, we kill some terrorists. The devils from Earth get the help of this angel - " She pauses to shoot Harley a wink who scowls back, " - And become the heroes of Sanctum. Easy peasy. What do you say?"

Octavia slowly approaches Diyoza's other side and pitches the other coat she was holding at Harley. She takes over the handles of the bike. She's sporting a new coat, stolen from one of the bodies left behind. "Yeah. We're in." She nods to Harley who catches up where she drags the bike, throwing the weight of the camouflaged coating over her shoulders.

"Dress like the enemy. Smart," Diyoza complimented.

"Shut up," Octavia scoffs.

There's the sound of Diyoza laughing before declaring, "See? The beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"Something like that," Harley mutters with a roll of her eyes. She didn't want to perk up and pretend everything was alright.

All Harley could do for now was mount the back of the bike and grasp onto Octavia's hips as she gets used to being in control of the direction in hopes that she could avenge Rose with a heart broken into shards of pieces.

━━━━━━━━

author's note:

hello!!! it's 4 am and i am BRUTALLY exhausted but i was trying to catch up on season 7 and got ahead of myself by posting this. there's so many scenes i can't wait to get to.

im still so sad rose was killed off. her and octavia could have had SUCH a cute bond. i'm so soft at the idea of harley and octavia teaming up to protect rose like 😭 SOMEONE GIVE THEM A CHILD. or adopt me. be my moms. even tho we're close in age.

anyway, the anomaly is coming and it's going to be so intense. you guys aren't even ready.

i'll see you then! thank you for reading ❤️

- koda