YOU CAN REST NOW, SOLDIER.

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LOST IN FIRE (book three).
°• CHAPTER NINETEEN •°

" TALK TO YOU IN TEN YEARS. "

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        She awakens to a bright light above that nearly blinds her. Harley heavily blinked a few times, squeezing her eyes shut to clear her gaze. Everything hurts. The hot pain in her leg had lulled to a dull throb, her skin was tingling with bruises and scrapes, and her head was aching. She took a deep breath, feeling her lungs fill with an ache. She swallowed thickly, her throat dry, and slowly sat up. The bed underneath Harley started shifting with the moving weight. She tiredly scanned the room she was in. She guessed she was in the medical portion of the ship if all of the wounded people that were being piled in said anything.

And the first face Harley meets belongs to Clarke Griffin.

She looks just as tired as Harley, a nurse's mask spotted with blood dangling over her neck, shuffling her feet with deep regret etched in her features. Her blue eyes are sad in a way and Harley can't find it in herself to pity her. All she feels is anger. She's not even exhausted anymore, the fury has taken over. "Well..." Harley spit furiously. "Came to finish the job? Leaving us to die in the pit wasn't enough?" She makes her tone as cold as possible, hoping the other had heard what Harley vouched on the radio.

Clarke confirmed so. She pressed her lips together briefly before giving Harley a curt nod. "I know what I deserve, Harley," she admitted. Harley hid her surprise well. She didn't know what she expected - maybe for Clarke to defend herself? Claim it was all for her child? "I heard you on the radio. I thought that... I was doing the right thing. I just wanted to save Madi," Clarke whispered. "I hope you can understand that."

Maybe Harley could. Right now, all she can do is sit back and inhale again, keeping the fire inside of her controlled. "I saw you keeping the door open for us before I was out," she mumbled before finally meeting Clarke's eyes. "You saved my brother's life. For that - and just for that - " Harley's voice grew shaky with rage. "You can walk away."

It was the only merciful chance Harley was going to give Clarke. She didn't take it just yet, sad eyes growing watery. "Harley - "

"Go."

Clarke's head fell low in shame. She nodded again, giving her a last whisper. "We're meeting at the bridge in an hour. Your people will be there. We're going to be discussing the fate of the human race." Harley doesn't say anything at the invitation. She just watched with narrowed eyes as Clarke left, shoulders hunched. As she exited the station, another body rounded the door's frame, this one in red armor. Octavia's eyes immediately fall on Harley.

All of the anger fades and is replaced with a softness. She swung her legs over the bed's edge, prepared to launch herself towards Octavia, but the warrior is already striding across the room and straight to her. Harley is relieved the second Octavia falls into her open arms, face burying in her neck as they embraced. She made it. That alone meant the world to her.

With a sniffle, Harley pulled away, her thumbs moving to gently brush against Octavia's high cheekbones that are smudged with dirt. "Is John okay too?" She asked softly, remembering harshly the last time she saw him.

Octavia gave Harley a nod that makes her let out a shaky breath of relief. "Jackson saved his life and Emori is with him now." Her hand slid up to cup Harley's, pulling it away from her cheek to grip it tightly as a sign of comfort. "What about you? You okay?" Octavia questioned, her green eyes full of concern as they scan every inch of Harley's skin.

"I'm fine," Harley reassured her even though she felt the farthest from that. She smiled weakly to try and prove her point. When she sees Octavia's doubt, she chose to ignore it and attempted to find a way to change the subject. Harley just doesn't know where to start. There was so much wrong between them, nearly everything broken in a way neither of them were sure could be fixed. Harley didn't know where the pieces started and where they ended.

"Don't say it," Octavia interrupted her thoughts before Harley can utter any form of an apology like she can read her mind. She lowered herself on the empty spot on the cot beside her. "Really, Harley. There's no point anymore."

She doesn't say so cruelly because she's right and Harley knows it. She sighed, her gaze falling to where Octavia's palm had rested over hers. She's said she's sorry so many times that she can't anymore. There's only one route they can take to start over. "Then tell me everything," Harley requested quietly. Octavia blinked a few times, confused. "Octavia... You said you tried to be a good leader. That you wanted peace. I believe that you got lost along the way. So help me understand," Harley pleaded, desperate to fix this.

"I can't." Octavia shook her head, ripping her hand away like the touch suddenly burned her. She's frantic now like she was so traumatized that even the thought of the bunker made her panic.

Harley took one look around them. She rose with a limp, seizing a hanging curtain and drawing it across so no eyes were on them. She sat back down, scooting herself into a more comfortable position. Harley locked eyes with Octavia once more, seeing all of the broken emotions in them, and tried once more to get her to let down her guard. "I won't force you to come out with it... But I'm here. Talk to me."

It takes a few minutes. Octavia has to look at the ground, then at Harley, around their enclosed area, then squeezes her eyes shut. When she opened them, words come spilling out. They are a bit slow at first but when Octavia gets heavily into it, she can't stop. They all pour out like a waterfall had broken through a dam.

And Harley listens silently. When Octavia gets to the worst part of her story, she gets choked up, tears pooling in her eyes. Harley then takes Octavia's hand, lacing their fingers, brushing her thumb across her skin. She doesn't say anything that will expose the way her stomach churned and twist at what Octavia described as the Dark Year. She's not judging Octavia for it, it just... She can't imagine how she lived through it. Harley feels sick just hearing about it.

When she's done, Octavia looked less drained. As if Harley had helped take a portion of the weight on her shoulders off to make breathing easier, even just a little. It looked like it helped. "I'm not a leader," Octavia finished like it pained her to say the words. "I'm a monster."

"You're a leader." Harley squeezes her hand a little tighter. "Leadership means making hard choices so your people don't have to. Hundreds of people are alive today because of you."

"Hundreds of people are dead today because of me," Octavia argued.

Harley paused at the protest. She knew it wasn't right to coddle Octavia, to tell her everything that she did was right, and that she was innocent because she isn't. So Harley leans forward and pressed their foreheads together, not to kiss her, but to whisper something she isn't sure Octavia has heard.

"I forgive you."

It was enough, for now. They both needed a break, for however long that may be for. Harley doesn't know how long it'll last but right now, they had each other, and that was enough.

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Earth was gone. Harley didn't know how much she believed it until now. On the ring, Harley would spend so many hours looking out of the window, admiring the one spot of green. No matter how much she tried now, there was no speck of color. Only yellow, signaling the empty and unforgiving dust, surrounded by the black of space and dots of stars. Harley felt a twinge of sorrow. For so long, this was home. The Ark drilled that in their minds, that one day, they'd return to the ground and they did, only for it to be gone again.

"It's gone, guys." Bellamy's voice broke through the barrier. He gave them all a look of pity, especially Monty, whose hands were deep in the pockets of his jacket. Bellamy looked over his shoulder to the new face Harley hadn't seen before at the controls. "Close it up, Shaw." The guy, Shaw, complied. Harley blinked a few times, watching as a cover slid over the glass window, taking Earth out of her view forever.

"Like our ancestors on The Ark, we're the last of the human race," Bellamy continued.

"Our ancestors were wrong. We're not," Clarke added.

"Four-hundred and twelve people on this ship. Thanks to Madi..." Bellamy sent a nod to the young girl, standing straighter. "We saved those who could be saved. Now it's our job to keep them alive." He crossed his arms over his chest. "How do we do that?"

It's clear he's looking for some answer. Personally, Harley has nothing. She knows she's not a leader. However, Monty perked up and took a step forward to position himself in between Clarke and Bellamy. He pulled a familiar metal canister out of his pocket. "Algae?" Clarke questioned.

Murphy groaned from where he sat on a spinning chair. "Oh, float me now," he begged with the ceiling.

Timidly, Shaw held up a hand. "Can I?" He requested. Bellamy nodded, giving him permission. "From what we know about the half-life of hythylodium, it'll be at least ten years before that valley comes back." Harley tilted her head. She wouldn't have guessed there was a chance of Earth coming back but she was pleased to hear there was. "This ship does have a small water recycler and a few weeks worth of rations, but that's it. Cryo is the only option. There are five-hundred pods which is more than enough for what we need."

Harley whistled under her breath. She would have never pictured this option for them when they came across the prisoners fast asleep in frozen coffins. It seemed like it was all they had now, though. "We'll need a little more than that," Harley asked for.

"I agree with Shaw. The tech is amazing," Raven eased her which deemed to be just enough for Harley. All she needed was the mechanic's outspoken opinion to be reassured. "We go to sleep, we don't age, we wake the next morning, it's ten years later... And Bob's your uncle."

"I thought you hated that phrase," Monty pointed out with a smile, amused.

Raven grinned. "It's growing on me," she confessed with a shrug.

"It's up to you, Madi," Bellamy decided.

Suddenly, all eyes were on Madi. Her eyes are connected with Clarke, searching for some guidance from her declared mother instead of the Commanders in her head. Eventually, Madi makes her choice and nodded.

"Okay... I guess it's time for bed."

With that hanging in the air, there was only one thing left to do. Say good-bye.

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Harley slowly sunk onto the open platform that creaked with her weight. She had her hands on her knees, blankly staring ahead, unsure. She's never done anything like this before. Murphy and Echo were in front of her, waiting for some reaction. Harley's brother is the first to speak after some shifting. "El - "

"Don't," Harley dismissed him before he can finish. Her eyes flickered up to meet his, accompanied with a smile that she knew he could see right through. "It's okay. Really. I know it'll be fine."

"Good," Echo cut in. She sent Harley a sincere smile, crouching to be eye level. "I'm proud of you, Harley. For everything."

Her words sent a wave of reassuring through Harley that moved her. She doesn't have to thank Echo, instead, she leaned forward and laced her arms over her shoulders. The two girls that had become thicker than water hugged one another tightly in case they never got the chance again. Harley almost feels an emptiness when they pull away and Echo has no choice but to leave, following Bellamy who had approached to drop off Octavia, the girl taking Echo's place. Murphy eyed her cautiously but reluctantly stepped to the side, busying himself by typing on the tablet connected to Harley's new bed.

Octavia doesn't care if he overhears. "I wanted to tell you that I love you."

Harley's heart swelled three sizes in her chest. She knew they weren't together again - not yet, not after all the wrong that they've done to each other - but this was a new chapter in their lives. They were able to start over. "I love you," Harley breathed out in a daze, her face lighting up with fondness. She held out a hand to secure some sort of agreement. "Talk again in ten years?"

Octavia shortly glanced at Harley's outstretched arm before giving her a small laugh and shaking her head. She leaned down, not to hug Harley, but to cup her jaw and press their lips together in a moving kiss. Harley's eyelids fall shut and her hands move in place, resting on either side of Octavia's hips that were covered in a white tank top. When she pulled away and their noses brush, Harley gives a short gasp of air. "God, I love you so much."

"Ten years," Octavia says like it's a deep promise. Harley smiled, a real one, as she watched her leave for her own spot to sleep.

"Alright, El. Time for your big brother to tuck you in," Murphy said lightly. Harley gave him an emotional laugh as she leaned back, swinging her legs onto the platform and resting her head down with a quiet thud. She looked past his shoulder for a moment to see he's typed her name on the screen of the tablet to label her bed.

HARLEY MURPHY was showcased in all capital letters.

"I love you too, brother," Harley informed him genuinely. Murphy said it in his own special way. She doesn't even bother correcting him and tell him that they're twins and he can't be older than her. It doesn't matter.

Except, maybe it does. "Don't think I don't love you too, Harley." She tilted her head back to get a better look at Murphy as he spoke. "You always looked out for me, even before I told you. You tried to stop a crowd from hanging me, put yourself in between me and the barrel of a gun more times than I could count..." He gave her a sharp grin and shakes his head. "This isn't some pathetic good-bye, okay? I'll see you soon. And it'll be my turn to keep you safe on Earth."

Harley admitted to herself that she liked the sound of that. She laced her fingers together and rested them over her stomach, bracing herself. "Okay," she agreed.

It was time.

The last thing Harley sees is her brother's snarky grin turn sadder as she slid in, the glass shutting above her before her eyes grow heavy with sleep and darkness overtakes her for the next ten years.

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END OF PART FIVE.

author's note:

and that is it!! season five is done!!

i know it's not a monday but i wanted to post this since y'all deserve a lil treat for being so patient cause i haven't updated anything in weeks.

anyone else so in love with harley now knowing what happened in the bunker and giving octavia the forgiveness she deserves - and all those good-byes i CAN'T

anyway i'm gonna see you all in season six and we're gonna have a lot of fun. i've been planning this season since i watched season six air and i got it all planned out.

that being said, considering season seven isn't out at the time i'm publishing this chapter, updates will be slower and way less often until season seven comes out since there's a LOT of unanswered holes in season six that i need before i jump into the whole plot.

- koda