LONG LIVE BLODREINA.

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LOST IN FIRE (book three).
°•        CHAPTER THIRTEEN        •°

"        I CAN'T DO THIS.       "

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The most important thing Bellamy and Harley did now was cover their tracks. They were careful, making sure the only way Octavia's people could find out it was them who poisoned their leader was if she had woken up and told them, and that alone was a huge if. Once the rest were alerted and Octavia was immediately taken care of, Jackson informed them what Harley already knew. Her waking up from a coma was half a chance of luck, and Harley still felt sick every time she thought about it. She wanted to turn the clock, take back what she did, but Bellamy's harsh words ring again. She made a choice.

Clarke and Murphy would get to live for it. The culprits keep Octavia's poisoning a secret from Madi, only Indra being aware of it. But Madi had been desperate to see Clarke, constantly asking once Octavia had fallen ill, until Bellamy caved with Indra's approval. The younger girl is excited, eagerly following the pair to where Clarke is locked away in chains, bursting through the door first. "Clarke!"

"Madi," Clarke gasped out, arms already open for her daughter who runs into them, burying her face into her shoulder.

"She was ready to burn this place down if she couldn't see you," Bellamy said with a faint smile.

Grateful, Clarke cradled Madi to her chest. "Thank you for letting me say good-bye," she tells them, touched.

"Clarke, this isn't good-bye," Bellamy responded.

Confused, Clarke slowly pulled away from Madi, her blue eyes flickering from her to Bellamy. "Octavia's sick," Madi broke the news. "They say she might not wake up."

This time Clarke is shocked. When her gaze connected with Harley, she slowly shook her head so only she'd notice, silently telling her not to ask in front of Madi. Indra decided the same as well, as she rushed to guide Madi away. "Okay, Madi. That's enough. We can't risk the child being seen here. She'll be safe now, and so will you," she promised Clarke, the door opening. Indra sends Bellamy and Harley one last warning look. "Be quick." Then she led Madi out, shutting the door behind them, allowing the three to talk freely.

It's heavily quiet as Clarke stared at the pair. Harley couldn't tell if she was pitying them, wondering, or slightly afraid. "What did you do?" She finally whispered.

"It's a great story," Harley mumbled, voice dripping with sarcasm. She reached into her pocket, pulling out the small canister she had swiped from Monty. She didn't want to be caught with it, but hadn't wanted anyone to see it either. She read aloud from the label on the side. "Make algae, not war."

Bellamy rolled his eyes. "Monty's algae," he said shortly to Clarke in a quick explanation.

Clarke's face dropped. "Oh my God." Harley doesn't say anything, slipping the can back into her pocket.

"As head of the army, Indra can accept Diyoza's terms for peace," Bellamy began. "By the time Octavia wakes up..." He paused before correcting himself. "If she wakes up."

"She will. You said that Murphy was fine. He didn't even have a doctor," Clarke stated firmly. Bellamy only looks said. "Hey, I know this is hard, but she was willing to destroy the last survivable land on Earth just to win a war. Not to mention, kill the people we love," she sympathized.

"Well, we're almost there," Bellamy admitted. "Indra's about to take over for Octavia. Once Wonkru surrenders, I'll come and get you out," he promised. "We'll head back to Shallow Valley. Together."

"Together," Clarke echoed.

It was seconds after that Indra interrupted, urging them to leave. Harley bids Clarke a soft good-bye, promising they'd be back, before following Indra to Octavia's room. It was a large space, but when Harley stepped into the room, her chest filled with despair. The queen-sized bed is where her love laid, an oxygen tube in her nose and patches on her skin to keep in place the wires hooking her to a machine for her vitals. The only sign that Octavia was still alive was the beeping, and her chest slightly rising and falling. She's one of the two who did this to her. Guilt mixed in, and Harley doesn't bother trying to force it down, letting it overcome her until she's drowning in it.

However, Harley can't reveal what she's done in front of Jackson and the other guards, such as Niylah and Miller, in the room. She masked it with the usual stone-cold expression, pretending she was indifferent to the sight before her as she slowly walked in, her legs shaking with each step. "How is she?" Indra questioned the doctor.

"Her systems are shutting down," Jackson answered, stressed.

Niylah paused from where she was patting Octavia's forehead with a damp, white cloth. Her eyes darted to the ones who came in. "Both of you were there," she commented. "Tell us everything that happened. Did she take anything? Drink anything?"

"It's like I told Miller. She was eating one of your rations," Bellamy replied, voice strained.

Harley shot him a dark look at the clear lie. Niylah could have been on to them, especially by the way she was staring. "Why does this matter?" She questioned.

"Because she might have been poisoned," Niylah said lowly. "That's why." Harley's mouth snapped shut.

"Niylah, that's enough," Indra warned harshly. "She's his sister, and Harley loves her."

"We were sharing it the Wonkru way," Bellamy defended himself. "I ate it too, and I'm fine."

Indra stepped to Jackson. "Have you considered that the worm toxin might still be in her blood?" She suggested as if she was attempting to steer him away from the truth.

After pondering over it, Jackson shrugged. "It's possible, making this a secondary reaction to the substance she was exposed to, but a week ago - "

"English, Jackson," Miller cut in boredly.

Jackson sent his boyfriend a stern look before continuing. "Dialysis won't work. Nothing will," he said, ripping off the band-aid. Harley hoped they'd mistake the way she crossed her arms and swallowed harshly, blinking rapidly too, as only sorrow and not guilt. "We need to prepare for succession," he finished.

Everyone is silent, processing the news. Harley had figured already that Jackson would say something like that when she walked in. "I'll inform Wonkru," Indra at last decided before requesting. "If there's anything change in her condition, I want to be the first to know." Jackson nodded. "Gather the first battalion and the delegates," she instructed Miller, who nodded back.

Harley glanced to Octavia one last time, her face slipping and pinching up before she joined the others in leaving. She can't give up and cry. Harley can only be prepared to inform the cult that their leader was in a coma, harboring the secret that it was her, destroying their relationship to save her family.

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It doesn't take long to gather the soldiers. From what Harley can see, everyone is in their blood-red armor, talking to one another softly. She can sense the tension in the arena. She feels like everyone is staring at her, even though they aren't and it was just the regret from her wrongdoing talking. Everyone quieted when Indra revealed herself first, pushing her way through the crowd to stand in the middle so everyone could watch and hear her. "The whispers are true. Our beloved Blodreina has fallen ill. These may be her final hours," she announced.

Gasps and chatter of shock rise. "Listen to me!" Indra called over the noise. "I trained Octavia as my second, and I love her as I love my own child." She nodded to Gaia who was with the children. "I advised her and led her army with pride. It was her desire that if she should ever fall, I step forward to lead you. Blodreina wanted what we want - to live a better life in Shallow Valley, and we will, but not through war. Not when there's a better way. For the last six years, we have lost hundreds of our people. We can't afford to lose any more. I will negotiate for Wonkru to enter the valley peacefully so that no more shall suffer," she finished proudly.

An annoyed voice pitched in. "You're not in command here!" Harley's head swiveled to see it was Miller, stepping in the middle slowly like he was challenging Indra. "Not even over the first battalion. Blodreina gave that honor to me," he declared.

"So you expect us to follow you?" A woman asked in disbelief. "He's Skaikru."

"There is no Skaikru, you know that," Miller fired back venomously. Harley's stomach churn, sharing a worried look with Bellamy, her instincts telling her how bad this was about to end.

"In the absence of a Commander, the clan delegates should reassemble and choose the next leader," she responded, more calmly.

"Blasphemy," someone else spit out. "Miller's right. There are no more clans, only Wonkru, and enemies of Wonkru," he dared, walking until he was face to face with her.

"That's funny, coming from someone who only escaped death in this arena because our real enemies fell from the sky," she sneered, refusing to back down. Insulted, he snapped, shoving her harshly.

A fight broke out, a few shouting at one another, shoving themselves in between the two. Harley's eyebrows furrowed. She remembered the clans fighting in her time on the ground, six years ago. When Murphy was hung, when the grounders visited Arkadia, when Pike gave a speech and someone threw a rock at Lincoln and no one tried to stop it. People would join in, letting it escalate into more. Here, they were keeping the two away from one another. Harley took a single step, prepared to put herself in the middle as well, but Bellamy put a hand on his shoulder, silently telling her it wasn't the time to do so. This was Wonkru, and she wasn't one of them.

Suddenly, gunshots rang in the air, bullets flying and hitting above the stone above them. The slight chaos comes to an end, all because of Miller, who was holding his rifle up. He waited until it was deathly quiet before lowering it, making Bellamy heave a deep sigh. "Now I'm not asking you to follow me... I'm asking you to follow Octavia." Harley watched some nod in agreement, and she slowly became horrified. Did she seriously poison Octavia for nothing? Miller confirmed this quickly. "Yesterday, she ordered us to march on the valley, so we march!" He threw his fist in the air. "For Blodreina!"

"Gon Blodreina!" (For Blodreina!) The chant beginning only started with a few, but soon, more joined in until it became a scream and just about everything Harley could hear. They were full of adrenaline, determination to win a war that hadn't even started yet, and didn't have to happen. "Gon Blodreina!"

Surrendering, Indra leaves, heading in the direction of Harley who grabbed her upper arm. "Tell me I didn't do this for nothing and there's something you can do," she hissed out in a harsh demand, only being heard by her and Bellamy.

Octavia's people continue to chant in a war cry around them. "I can't stop this war, Harley," she confessed reluctantly. "But there's someone who can." Before Harley can ask who, Indra turned her head, peering at a distance, her stare landing on the group of children. She followed the gaze, immediately understanding. If it's possible, more horror filled Harley. Indra does look sorry, but she knows it's the only way. "We need a real Commander," she stated.

True to her word, Harley paid another visit to Clarke with Bellamy. She's less than pleased when they explain the plan to her, equally horrified as Harley was with having to do so. "Absolutely not," she said, stiff, like they had the nerve to ask her for permission.

"Clarke," Bellamy said desperately. "You know what a Commander means to the grounders. Six years ago, you tried to force the Flame on Luna. You were willing to put it in your own head to prevent a war over this bunker," he justified. "How is this any different?"

"Madi's a child!" Clarke exclaimed, exasperated. "That's how. I don't care how many of these people still believe in the Flame, they believe in Blodreina more."

"She's right, Bellamy," Harley whispered, her voice strained. Madi was a kid. "I can't do this."

But she's doing it anyways.

"You said you would, and we have to do this," Bellamy insisted. "And Madi will be protected. With us and Gaia - "

Clarke cut him off. "What happens when Octavia wakes up?" She demanded. Harley can see the tears pooling in her eyes out of desperation, and it only makes her feel worse.

"If she wakes up," Bellamy corrected in defense. "We will be in the valley, and she will see what peace is like with her own eyes, and she will understand." Clarke shakes her head. "I know it."

"The answer's no," Clarke retorted again. "Now, unchain me so we can get the hell out of here before we all get executed for treason." Harley doesn't move. She knows they can easily free Clarke from the metal chains around her wrists, and she wants to, but she can't find the strength to cross the room. The army is going to march soon, and they wouldn't make it there in time. If Octavia didn't execute them for treason, Miller would.

"Harley," Clarke snapped when she doesn't move. "You said this was wrong, and you know it is. Unchain me!" She demanded again.

"Clarke," Bellamy said gently. "Echo, Raven, Murphy, and Emori are our family. I'm sorry," he apologized seriously. "This is happening."

As he goes to leave, mumbling Harley's name to follow him, Clarke yanked at the shackles. "Don't do this, Bellamy! Harley!" She cried out. Harley shakily takes a step back, feeling torn in the middle again. She wants to apologize to Clarke, but she can't. It won't fix anything. Harley turned around as the guard opened the door to the room, and Clarke doesn't stop.

"You said that you'd protect her! You said you'd keep her safe!" The chains jingle when she tugged them again. "Bellamy! Harley! No!" She screamed, dry sobs following. Even when the door shuts, Harley can still hear her. "Wait! No! No!"

Harley tormented herself, pausing in the hall, listening to Clarke's desperate screams, her heart breaking at the sound of her friend's outburst. She hadn't even realized she was crying until there's more wetness, the bulbs of tears streaming down her cheeks. Her shaking hands raise and cover her ears, fingers tangling in her short hair and eyes squeezing shut as her body wracked with sobs of her own. She wants to punch the wall until her knuckles bleed, but mostly, she wants to keep herself from hearing Clarke's screams. Harley can't block Clarke out, and could never find a way to defend what she's choosing to do.