AND I LOST YOU.

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LOST IN FIRE (book three).
°• CHAPTER TWELVE •°

" OMON GON OSON. "

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        So far, Harley figures the answer is Kara Cooper. She doesn't make a move to stop either Bellamy or Clarke in setting her up. In fact, she fetches the knife to cut a hole in the hazard suit's glove to make it look like an accident and helps Bellamy set up the case of worms. Clarke is the one to shut the glass door, sealing Kara's fate completely. When she wakes up, her body jerks, gasping for air. Harley doesn't move from where her boots are planted on the ground, watching through the clear window as Kara rises to her feet and inspects the containment area that she's been placed in. It isn't until she noticed the cut in her glove that she turned, noticing the three observing her every move in silence.

Kara's confused expression is filled with a hateful fury as if she's immediately figured out their plan. "You'll all die for this," she spat at them. Harley flinched, like the words physically struck her. Then Kara is heaving, clutching her chest as she hunched over, hitting the ground with a thud. The cries of pain she makes haunt Harley's ears as she ripped off the helmet and fell over, thrashing on the ground and scraping at her stomach. Kara tore open the hem, revealing the worms that had made their way into her body, wriggling around under the skin. Harley feels sick.

"Please make it stop!" Kara pleaded in a wail. Harley wants to help, she does, but her head rings with Bellamy's earlier words. Who was she willing to sacrifice? So she tortured herself, listening to Kara's screams and watching her flail, desperate to be put out of her misery that they put her in.

"Let's go," Clarke mumbled over the noise of Kara dying in agony to them. "It'll work. Octavia will have to surrender," she adds on when they did move.

Blinking at his teary eyes, Bellamy gazed at them both sadly when Kara screamed in the background again, begging them to help her. "This is how we get to peace," he whispered.

Harley swallowed them lump in her throat and held her hand out. "Give me your walkie. I'll radio in Indra," she muttered to him, forcing herself to watch Kara die, letting the image be permanent due to the guilt. Bellamy complied, setting the radio in Harley's hand before he leaves her alone with Clarke. Her vision blurs with tears as the door shuts quietly behind them just as Kara lets out one last scream and gasping breath before she stills completely.

Pressing her finger on the button, Harley lifted it to her mouth after adjusting it to the correct channel so no one else could hear it. "It's done." Her voice breaks. "She's gone." When Indra makes a noise of understanding through the speaker, Harley is about to turn, wanting to erase this memory, but doesn't do it in time when the squirming in Kara's stomach bursts. Blood flies and splatters everywhere, worms crawling over one another to get out of the hole. Harley has to look away this time, squeezing her eyes shut, like she could forget what she just witnessed.

"Harley?" Indra's questioning voice echoed when she wandered inside, shutting the door behind her. Harley can't say anything just yet when Indra approached, but she opened her eyes, shaking her head. It seems like Indra caught on, giving her a slight nod. "You shouldn't have watched."

"I know... I know." Harley pressed the back of her hand to her mouth before she got sick. She doesn't know why. She's always been squeamish, but that went away when Echo taught her how to fight. And she's done things, stuff that made her feel more than guilty, and Harley feels just as bad compared to everything else. She also knew she deserved to watch Kara die and torment herself for killing her.

An alarm began blaring loudly, echoing through the bunker when Indra pulled a lever. One by one, all of the worms in the containment area began to die around Kara's corpse when the room is full of a deadly gas. It doesn't make Harley feel any better, even though she knows one problem is solved. She furiously wiped at her eyes, making sure to hide any and all signs of despair and put on a stone-cold mask, preparing herself when the door opened again and people started rushing inside, Octavia in lead.

"Harley heard screams and warned me. I came as fast as I could, but I was too late," Indra spoke up lowly without turning to face her. Harley can't either. She can't meet Octavia's eyes after what she's done just yet.

"There's a hole in her glove," Miller noted. "Must have got in while she was loading them up."

"I'm sorry, Blodreina," Indra apologized. "If I didn't use the gas and the worms escaped into the bunker..."

"You made the right call, Indra," Octavia stopped her. Her voice sound pained at the sight of her deceased friend. Harley's walls almost collapse at the sound she recognized when Octavia was hurt.

"Octavia, I know this isn't a good time, but I feel it's my duty to point out that without the worms to soften the battlefield, the cost in lives will be too high. This isn't a war we should fight," Indra recommended.

It seems too easy, though, especially the silence that follows. Harley slowly turned to at last face Octavia, attempting to cover all emotion in her expression. But they loved one another, and it was too easy for her to read the heart on Harley's sleeve. Octavia made a soft humming noise of acknowledgment at what Indra said and what she saw. "Thank you for your advice, Seda, but we weren't planning on using the worms. We are using their eggs." (Teacher.)

Instantly, all the color drained from Harley's face, realizing the mistake she made. She can't fight the shock away. Kara died for nothing, and her family was still going to die. "Whoever wanted to make this look like an accident, they didn't know that either," Octavia continued, green eyes sharply narrowing in Harley's direction. "Come with me, Harley. And Miller - " She spun on her heel, her red cape flying behind her. "Find Clarke and Bellamy."

Once Miller is gone, hunting down Clarke and Bellamy with some other guards, Harley is suddenly shoved back. She makes a noise of surprise as her back is pressed flat against the wall, Octavia's arm bent and pressed against her chest. She swallowed thickly, seeing how angry she was the second their eyes meet. "Did you do it?" She sneered quietly. Harley doesn't say anything, struggling to avert her eyes when Octavia's face is so close to hers. "Harley. Did you kill Cooper?" She repeated, more demanding.

"I wouldn't ask too many questions," Harley suggested, voice strained from the pressure of Octavia's limb on her chest. "You won't like my answers."

Betrayal replaced Octavia's features. She slowly lowered her arm, like what Harley said was a full admission to killing Kara. Harley doesn't know what to say or do. She has a hunch that Octavia doesn't know either, and wonders for a moment if she'll be arrested and thrown into the fighting pit, like what Kara described. But Octavia doesn't make a move to order her arrest. She only takes off again, catching up with Miller. Harley hesitated for a moment before she fights against the urge to stay, following her.

The trail leads to Bellamy's tent. Octavia had already stormed in when Harley caught up, shoving aside the guard in front of her after pushing over the tent's flap. "Take her," Octavia was commanding, meaning Clarke, who was clearly stunned at the sight of her.

Miller marched behind Clarke and pulled her arms behind her forcefully, tying her wrists behind her back. "You're under arrest for the murder of Kara Cooper."

"What? No," Bellamy tried to protest. "This is insane!"

"Is it?" Octavia challenged darkly. "We weren't taking the worms. The eggs are already loaded in the rover, so what was Cooper doing there?" She waits for any explanation, eyes flickering from Harley to her brother. Harley understood just as fast. Octavia definitely knew that she and Bellamy were apart of Kara's death, but she wasn't going to arrest them for it. It was only a secret, for now. "Careful, big brother. Or I'll think you and Harley helped her... And we don't have enough prisoners to settle this in the arena."

"Is that a threat?" Harley asked her, the question coming out strangled. Was Octavia threatening them?

A manic grin spread slowly on Octavia's lips. "Oh, well. I guess we'll have to settle for an execution." Harley's heart sinks as she watches the girl she loves leave, her people following after, and Miller dragging Clarke away. She's going to kill Clarke for something they all did.

"Keep Madi safe! Promise me!" Clarke's begging screech snaps Harley out of her sorrowful thoughts.

"We will, Clarke!" Harley shakily called after her. Madi was Clarke's child, and Harley swears she'll protect the young girl if Clarke dies tonight.

"I promise!" Bellamy swore, regretfully looking at his feet when Clarke is tugged out of the tent, leaving them both alone. The silence that followed between them is so tense in the air that Harley could cut a knife through it. She shared a look of hopelessness with Bellamy. "We have to stop her," he said quietly.

The statement made Harley let out a choked, bitter laugh. "Yeah? What do we do?" She stressed, feeling panic rise. "She won't listen to either of us! And if she delivers those eggs to the valley, John, and everyone we love is going to die!" Harley desperately tried to keep her voice down, fearing someone may overhear them, but she can't, too terrified at the idea of war.

Bellamy quickly hushed her, hands outstretched in her direction. "Harley, stop," he hissed. "You need to stay calm. It's the only way we can help them."

"What?" Harley urged. "What is the only way we can help them? Because, please, tell me. How do we stop the girl I love, who probably hates me now, from killing my brother?"

There's no need for an answer as Bellamy's hand lowered into his jacket's pocket. He draws out a single object, a silver container with a familiar label. Make algae, not war. Lower lip trembling and dread filling her system, Harley shook her head frantically, refusing to believe what Bellamy was indirectly saying. "Harley," he said gently. "We have to."

"No," Harley declared, more firm than her outburst from before. "John barely survived after he tested that sh - "

"That's just it," Bellamy cut her off. "Murphy still survived without any medical equipment. They have Jackson here, she'll be fine."

"And if she's not?" Harley fired back. "Bellamy, I swear that I won't let you do this. I'll turn you in myself," she threatened harshly. She doesn't know how much she means it.

Bellamy's dark eyes turned pained. "Give me a better idea," he pleaded. "Please. Tell me a way we can stop Octavia from releasing the worms into the valley. Your brother is going to die because of her." He paused, letting Harley process what's he's saying, how he's warping her thoughts into believing poisoning Octavia was the right thing to do. "Make a choice, Harley. Murphy or Octavia."

Knowing she doesn't have long to process this, Harley allowed what Bellamy was telling her to sink in. She feels as if she's been ripped in half, torn straight down the middle, half of her wanting to believe that he's right, and this is the only solution to save Murphy. The other half is louder, telling her Bellamy's wrong, and she doesn't have to hurt Octavia to do so, that there has to be a safe way they can do this. Harley loves Octavia, but she loves Murphy too. She loved him even before she knew he was her twin brother. There's a part of her that's a part of him, and there's a part of him that's a part of her. Harley couldn't live without him.

"Okay." The single word is breathed out from Harley, but she doesn't feel like it's her saying it. Whoever is agreeing with Bellamy isn't her. "I'll help you."

There's only one way to find their peace. She had her answer, now. When it came down to it, the person Harley was willing to sacrifice was Octavia.

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The time came all too quickly. Harley couldn't back out even if she wanted to. She kept forcing herself to remember Kara, the worms eating her insides, and imagining her brother ending up like that as well. She still doesn't know if Bellamy was right, but that picture was what kept her solid when she wanted to cave and her legs shook. Harley knows that it's time when it's their last meal before they prepare for the battle, using the worms as the first weapon of war. She truly doesn't know that she can do this when her and Bellamy approach a guard standing in front of the door.

"Move," Harley spits out before the tall man can get a word out.

He stares down the other. "Blodreina is not - "

By now, Harley was shaking with nerves from what she and Bellamy was about to do. She can't help but lash out, threatening him while seething with her teeth gritted. "You know what? I'm tired of you soldiers - "

"Harley," Bellamy warned, holding a hand up to calm her. "We just need to talk to her. Please," he requested simply.

The guard glanced from him to Harley, mulling this over, before giving them a curt nod. He pushed open the door, allowing them entry. "Sorry, Blodreina." Harley walked in after him, seeing Octavia was sat at a circular table with a few others, including Miller and Indra. She sends Harley a grave look, whereas Octavia doesn't turn around, only making her orders.

"Let them in." Octavia nodded to her people. "Get some sleep. Tomorrow we ride."

They stand, pushing their chairs back and leave, Miller being one of the last. Bellamy glared at him before throwing a cold comment at him. "So much for the hundred."

Miller whirled around from where he stopped at the doorway. "What?"

"Let it go, Miller," Octavia instructed in warning. Harley watched as neither of the men move, scowling darkly at one another until Indra stepped in between. She pushed Miller's chest, guiding him out of the room, being the last one and shutting the door after them. Harley took a deep breath when it shut, knowing there was no turning back now. Octavia turned her head to advise them next. "Don't threaten my people, Bellamy."

"I can't let you kill Clarke, O," Bellamy mumbled to his younger sister in greeting.

Scoffing, Octavia tilted her head back. "Here we go again. Pleading for the life of a traitor..." She paused sarcastically. "Who you love."

"It's not just for Clarke, Octavia," Harley pitched in quietly. Octavia's eyebrows pinched when she heard the strain in Harley's tone like she knew something was off. Harley pretended to be stronger than she felt, lowering herself into the chair on Octavia's left side as Bellamy took the seat next to her. "My brother isn't an acceptable loss. I'm sorry you think he is, but I will do anything to keep John safe."

Octavia rolled her eyes. "We've been over this. We sacrifice the few to save the many," she stated. For a moment, Harley hoped that Octavia would change her mind. She prayed that she didn't have to do this to save Murphy, only if Octavia wouldn't deliver the worms. But she doesn't.

Picking up one of the squared rations, Bellamy toyed with it briefly. "Mom and I used to share rations with you," he changed the subject, speaking of a fond memory. He held up the crumbly food. "You mind?"

"Only if you say the words," Octavia replied.

A faint smile appeared. "Through the teeth and over the gums..." Bellamy attempted to tease her, but Octavia definitely wasn't having it.

"Not those words. Omon gon oson. Say it." (All of me for all of us.)

The smile dropped. "Omon gon oson," Bellamy repeated, pleasing her. He broke a chunk off, eating it. His eyes darted to Harley for a second, a simple signal. As he pretended to chew his own piece thoughtfully, the other half was hidden in between his two fingers, subtly passing it to Harley. She didn't hesitate in taking it, able to reach into her pocket and dip it into the can of algae given to her. Once Bellamy takes it back, neither pretend anything happened as he stretched his arm in Octavia's direction, finishing his own piece and giving her the tainted one.

"Omon gon oson," Octavia echoed again. When she brings the ration to her mouth and bites a corner off, Harley wants to break. She wants to jump up and scream the entire plan, that they were going to put her into a coma, but even if Harley could, she can't. She'd be too late. Octavia already swallowed it. Harley knows she can let everything go now, and she dropped her head, short hair falling but not enough to cover the tears building up. "It's late," Octavia continued boredly, oblivious to what she had consumed. "If you've come here to beg, just do it."

"We're not here to beg," Bellamy responded honestly because they weren't. He and Harley were there to do something much worse. "I came here to tell you that I love you very much... No matter what happens."

If Octavia was touched by Bellamy's words, she doesn't show it. The frozen reaction makes Harley sigh. "I love you too," she put in softly. "Even if you hate me... That won't change. I hope you believe me." She sucked in a deep breath. "And I hope you can forgive me."

"Forgive you?" Octavia repeated with a huff. Harley flinched at the sound, knowing at any second that Octavia was going to fall over, all because of her and Bellamy. "Get to the point."

"I made a deal with Diyoza," Bellamy informed her. "If Wonkru surrenders, we can all live in the valley."

At first, Octavia's head cocked, puzzled despite Bellamy's words making perfect sense. It's like she can't process what she's being told. It changes fast, her lips parting as she struggled to breathe in air. "... Something's... Wrong..." She gasped, hand rising to clutch her chest. "I... I can't breathe..."

It doesn't matter how Harley reacts now. Octavia took the algae she tainted, and now the symptoms Murphy had too were showing. Except this wasn't testing for food. Harley did this to her, purposely, willing to sacrifice Octavia and their love to save her brother. She's risking everything, she did this, and now she has to watch it unfold. Octavia hits her fist against her chest, Bellamy turns his head away, and she staggered up. "Help me," she pleaded with them. "Help me."

It's when neither Harley or Bellamy flinch does Octavia realize what happened. The look of betrayal she had when interrogating Harley about killing Kara is nothing compared to the one that Octavia holds now. Harley can't say anything, not even an apology, and won't even try to defend herself. Guilt is swallowing her whole, and she suddenly feels like she can't breathe when drowning in it either.

"What did you do?" Octavia choked out, still sounding demanding despite the lack of oxygen.

"Harley dosed the bar with Monty's algae." The words that leave Bellamy's mouth make Harley's chest tighten and turn her head, pretending she was anywhere but there. The Ark. The dropship. Arkadia. The ring. Places she was happy, even when the world was set on fire around her. "I switched it with the one we were sharing."

Gasping, Octavia shot up, her jaw dropped and eyes full of tears. "Guards!" She weakly cried out, but Bellamy is at her side in a second, slapping his hand over her mouth and hushing her. Harley's knees are wobbling as she finds what little strength she had to help him, knowing Octavia won't go down without a fight if she knew the girl she loved enough. She grabs at her thrashing limbs, holding them down so she can't make any noise. Bellamy is in pain as he cradled her to his chest, waiting until her muffled calls for help die down so he can take his hand away. Octavia's body becomes limp, and Harley released her while Bellamy slowly lowered his sister to the ground.

She's still twitching as if she's attempting to move paralyzed limbs to no success. Harley didn't realize she was crying, having felt so numb, until she saw teardrops land on Octavia's forehead and felt the wetness stream down her cheeks. "You're okay," she tried to whisper soothingly, but hearing it only come out shakily, dropping to her knees next to Octavia. Harley can't convince herself that this was right, all she can do is remember Murphy lived through it without medical help. So can Octavia.

Octavia lets out a dry sob, squeezing her eyes shut. Bellamy leaned over her. "You'll be okay. By the time you wake up, we'll be in the valley... And we will have peace," he promised her.

"I love you," Harley cried quietly as Octavia became still, blinking a few times before the lids shut them completely. Her trembling hand gently brushed against Octavia's cheek, thumbing the tear stains away. "I love you so much." Harley knows she can't hear her anymore, but she can't help herself. She wants to take back what she did, wishing more than anything Octavia would wake up, but she can't, and she doesn't know for sure if Octavia will.

Bellamy is crying as well as he looks up, meeting Harley's blurry gaze. "My sister," he began claiming in a whisper. "My responsibility."

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author's note:

so. hi. i can assume that some of you may be questioning why i decided to take the route of harley helping bellamy poison octavia, and there's a few reasons why, and i hope you understand.

one, manipulation. i wasn't sure how well i portrayed it, but i intended to write bellamy convincing harley in a manipulative way by using the love of her brother to do it because they're the only two octavia trusts the most. harley isn't a saint, but this starts a rift between her and bellamy that follows well into the future.

two, characters make mistakes and accept responsibility for it. despite me writing bellamy convincing harley, she still accepts what she did and it will be beneficial to her future story too. she fucked up and she will fix it because NO character is perfect. just don't try to poison anyone okay

three, making it clear harley is not the same person she was six years ago either. she spent six years with her brother in space after hardly knowing him on the ground and although octavia is the love of her life and her family too, she is given a choice and she does what she knows is wrong but believes is the only way to save murphy when octavia won't listen.

four, because it's my story and i fucking wanted to, next.

completely kidding but believe me this isn't the end of harley and octavia despite all the angst i'm hitting you with. it's not a chapter to their story but a new book that opens up their relationship into season 6 and showcases both of their redemption and guilt for the bad things they've done to each other - though, please don't try to kill your significant others twin brother or poison them pls.

- koda