UNTIL THAT ONE DAY.

▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅

LOST IN FIRE (book three).
°•        CHAPTER SIXTEEN        •°

"        MAYBE ONE DAY IN EDEN,
YOU AND I WILL BE ABLE TO
TAKE A BREATH FROM OUR
IMPOSSIBLE CHOICES AND TALK.       "

▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅

It was over. The fight on whether or not they march to Eden was done, thanks to Octavia making the decision when she lost and burned down the farm. Harley didn't know what she was feeling. There was a cold numbness forming, one she didn't like. It was signaling all of her emotions were shutting down, and she was still in love with the Red Queen that sentenced them all to death. Harley felt her knees wobbling from the weight of everything, including the heavy bag hitting her back, as she wandered out of the bunker with Bellamy, joining the rest of the crowd who was lugging their bag of supplies. She was scared. She regretted everything. She was angry. She hated herself.

Octavia is somewhere. Maybe leading. At least she let Harley have her sword back. She passed by Indra, who was patting her daughter's back and urging her to leave. She outstretched her arm in Harley's direction, who took it, gripping her forearm. "A warrior's death awaits," Indra tells her gravely. Harley doesn't know what to say as she released, watching her leave before turning to see Bellamy had grabbed two ration bags and was approaching Monty.

Harley's heart breaks at the sight. He's holding a can of his algae, twisting it in his hands, his expression mournful. She wants to apologize to him, feeling as if she had a part to blame in Octavia burning the farm, though Bellamy would tell her different. "Ready?" Bellamy questioned him, holding the bag out. Monty doesn't respond, only peeking up. "Come on," he urged. "Our family's waiting."

It hurts to hear, knowing Bellamy is right. Harley's family, all of their family, is waiting for them on the other side. Monty realized this as well, as he nodded, gripping Bellamy's wrist to pull himself up and accept the bag. It wasn't like he had another choice, Harley knows. None of them do. Octavia made sure of that. They were risking everything for this war, all of their lives being put on the line.

When they start their walk, it's slow. It makes Harley think of when she was a prisoner on The Ark, following the delinquents to the dropship. She was scared then too, but it was somehow different. Harley knew less than what she knew now. The crowd is silent, no one even whispering a word to each other. They were afraid, of either their leader or the war they could lose.

So Harley braced herself, refusing to even glance at the bunker she may never see again as she walked away from it. Instead, she sent one last, sorrowful look to the blue sky and wished that her family was still in the ring. Safe.

━━━━━━━━

Harley is exhausted by the time they reached the desert. Sand is filling her lungs, making them dry, but she can't spare her water and waste it. They have been walking for hours, occasionally speaking, but she was more lost in her thoughts. Nothing they have been through was ever like what she pictured while she was in space, waiting for the day to see Octavia again and return home. Harley didn't imagine another war, despite preparing for one. She blinked when her eyes started to burn, whether it was from tears or the stupid sand, she didn't care. She wasn't about to show weakness and cry.

"Harley?" A soft voice that she labeled as Harper came up behind her. Harley turned her head, seeing her friend was worried. "It's okay if you're upset," she sympathized knowingly. "You can rest and catch up - "

"No," Harley mumbled, dismissing her offer. She remembered Echo's constant words embedded in her mind. She clenched her jaw and tilted her head back, staring straight ahead, wiping any and all emotions off her face. "Hesitation is death."

Speaking of Echo, Harley's head snapped to Bellamy when the radio's speaker attached to his hip let out a static sound before her voice filled it. "Belomi, hola. Taim yu sen ai in, yo don drop nishiv of. Yemi." (Bellamy, come in. If you read me, you have lost the element of surprise. Over.) Her eyes widen, and she rushed to follow Bellamy with Harper and Monty to the sidelines so they could respond and understand her better.

There's a smile of fondness on Bellamy's face as he lifted the radio. "Echo - "

"Wait," Harper stopped him. "She's speaking trig for a reason."

Realizing this, Bellamy nodded. "Hakom trig? Chit's skechi?" He asked worriedly. (Why are we speaking trig? What's wrong?)

"Emo get in bilaik yo's komba raun," Echo broke the news. "Yo don drop nishiv of." (They know you're coming. You lost the element of surprise.)

Processing her words, Harley shut her eyes. She had considered that maybe they had a chance before. But now, the prisoners knew an army was marching towards them, and they had time to prepare. She remembered how hard it was to take down one of them on the ship, and they had blasters. Harley could have kicked the wet sand in frustration, but she doesn't. There's only one traitor to blame for this.

"They know we're coming," Bellamy tells Harper and Monty gravely.

"Clarke?" Monty guessed what Harley was thinking in dread.

"It has to be," she said quietly. After all they've been through together, since the dropship... Harley's hands angrily clench into fists at her sides. Clarke didn't just leave her and Bellamy to die. She sold them all out.

With a sigh, Bellamy speaks back into the radio. "Ekou, sen ai op..." (Echo, listen to me...)

"Bellamy, if Clarke's on their side, she speaks trig too," Harper reminded him before he can finish.

An idea sparked in Harley's mind. She snatched the radio out of Bellamy's hand, bringing it to her mouth. "Heya, Klark. En ai, Harley," she greeted, making her tone sickly-sweet before dropping it into a cold snarl. "Oso yu biyo na telon au kom disha, ai na ridiyo daun yu ai op. En em kikon goch disha na ge emo las kom yu raun," she vouched darkly.

(Hey, Clarke. It's me, Harley. If you say a word of this, I'll deal with you myself. And living with this will be the last of your worries.)

May God show Clarke Griffin mercy, because Harley Murphy will not if they ever cross paths again.

Harley didn't care if her threat didn't work. She only said so to Clarke for her to know the damage she caused in their bond, hoping to make her feel what she felt. "Problem solved," Harley deadpanned to the rest. Not everything was really solved - but the threat to Clarke was clear, and would hopefully affect her or slow her down. "Ekou, em ai bro kom yu?" She questioned next. (Echo, is my brother with you?)

There's a pause before she gets her answer in the form of Murphy's light voice. "Heya, sis. Set chil fou yu na yuwas frag em op." (Hey, sister. Stay calm before you get yourself killed.)

Despite the despair Harley was stuck in, warmth spread in her chest, relaxing her. At least Murphy is alive. There's a faint smile at the teasing in his tone. "Jok yu," she shot back jokingly before she shoved the radio back in Bellamy's hands so they can return to their discussions of war. (Fuck you.)

"Chofness, Harley," Echo commented, amused, before averting her attention. (Thanks, Harley.) "Belomi, yo gaf bak yo klin. Osir don hon daun 'mo mavrik, den yo's klir, komonou. Ba yo nou na komba hir nowe." (Bellamy, you have to go back. We have their pilot, so you're safe, for now. But you can't come here.)

"Nou na kom au," Bellamy protested. "Chilja osir nou na bak op, en osir nou na hod op. Kom fai sintaim osir kamp ouder. Yo gada daun in na lok osir op klir trei..." He paused. "Pas daun, nou mori noumou." (Not possible. It's a long story, but we can't go back, and we can't stop. We're five days out. You have that long to find us a safe way in... After that, we run out of rations.)

This time, Echo responded in firm English. "We're on it. Be safe," she ordered. "Over and out."

After Bellamy lowered his radio and put it away, Harley pinched at his jacket's sleeve. "Come on, we have to warn Octavia," she said.

"Warn her?" Monty repeated. "I don't think she'll care - "

"No," Bellamy interrupted. He motioned for Harley to follow him. "We'll tell her. Make her realize what she's become."

When they recruit Indra and explain the situation to her and go to Miller next, saying it's important they talk to Octavia, Harley is stunned when he holds his hand out and makes a single demand. "Weapons."

Harley glared at his gloved hand. "What?" She questioned in disbelief, lower lip curling. "You think I'd shoot her - "

"Weapons," Miller repeated, harsher than before. It's clear he isn't going to let them speak to Octavia without disarming.

Harley, with gritted teeth, yanked her sword out of her sheath and slapped the handle of it into Miller's waiting hand. She slid the rifle's strap off her shoulder, handing it to him as well before holding her hands up. "Want to pat me down too?" She offered sarcastically.

"After what you did to her, doesn't sound like a bad idea," Miller spat back. Harley's mouth snapped shut after that, reeling back in surrender, guilt twisting in her stomach again.

Once Harley, Bellamy, and Indra are all weaponless, Miller went to Octavia first and mumbled a few words to her, warning her of their appearance. Harley can't hear either of them, but Miller cocked his head, allowing them to pass. Octavia doesn't turn her head at the new footsteps. She's only leading, being the ruthless Red Queen she has to be. When seeing this, Indra decided to rip the band-aid off. "You're marching us into a massacre."

"We'll see," Octavia replied deadly.

"Octavia, for once, listen to us," Harley requested sharply. She fought the urge to grab her arm and at least make Octavia look at them. She was positive doing so would be seen as a threat and she'd be shot on sight by the guards.

"Echo radioed," Bellamy continued. "Your enemy knows you're coming. We don't need to worry about the missiles, but they're moving their weapons into position," he said seriously.

"It's safe to assume that since there are only three realistic ways into the valley, that all three will be heavily defended," Indra added on.

"Echo's scouting now, looking for the best way in. But since we can't go back because you burned the farm, and since we can't stop because we'll starve, we thought we should let you know that you've killed your people," Bellamy informed her coldly.

"Bellamy," Harley warned. He turned his head, glancing over to shoot her a look that questioned why the hell are you still defending her? That made her silent. She didn't know the answer herself. After everything Octavia has done, after what she's become, why did Harley still believe she's a good person? Maybe because she sees herself in Octavia - something inside that had broken, changing them for the worst.

With a roll of his eyes, Bellamy retreated, but not before spitting; "Enjoy your walk," at his sister. Harley stared at the back of Octavia's head for a moment before she broke away, returning to Miller and requesting her weapons back. He's stiff, hardly meeting her eyes when the gun and sword are placed in her hands to be sheathed in preparation for their war.

━━━━━━━━

They set up camp a good distance away from the battlefield when the sun starts to set. Dots of fire were placed around the tents so they could see through the darkness. Harley was setting up her own, a single tent close to Monty and Harper, Bellamy on her other side. She was just piling blankets to make a bed when Bellamy comes around with Indra, an urgent look on his face. Harley knows immediately what it is when she sees the radio in his hand. "Echo?" She guessed simply, tossing the bundle inside to finish later. He only nodded quickly, motioning for her to follow him.

Octavia's tent was the largest, the cloth made of red. Harley could hear her speaking of the battle plans even from her position outside. The guard at the entrance straightened at the sight of her and Bellamy. He doesn't give him a chance to protest them seeing her. "We need to see her, now."

"Let them in!" Octavia called from inside. Her guard doesn't appreciate it but he reluctantly stepped to the side, allowing them access. She's standing, looking down at what seemed to be a map, a few of her delegates around her.

"You don't need that," Bellamy tells her.

Octavia's brows raised. "The spy found us a way in?" She questioned in disbelief. Her brother nodded.

A beat of silence followed. Harley knew everyone's eyes were set on her and Bellamy. She knew why but it was best that Octavia knew first. "Maybe we should speak alone," she suggested quietly.

Agreeing, Bellamy wandered closer to the map. "Everybody out," he ordered. Harley could have scoffed at the leadership he tried to own when it was clear Octavia was in charge but she nodded, signaling to the rest they could leave the three alone. One by one, they filed out and Bellamy waited until the tent flap shut before he spoke. "Before I tell you this, we need to set some things straight."

"I'm listening," Octavia agreed.

"This war that you're so anxious for is about to be fought on the last survivable land on earth. That is monumentally stupid," he said honestly. "But it's here, and in four days, when we march on that valley, we are gonna fight this the right way."

"Does the right way end up with us winning?" Octavia mimicked him.

"Would we be here if it didn't?" Harley countered despite being aware that they were only here because Octavia burned the farm. They would have starved to death otherwise.

"It ends with us accepting the other side's surrender," Bellamy corrected. "Once they lay down their arms, we share the valley with them. No executions. No fighting pits. Real peace."

"Believe it or not, I want that too," Octavia said gently. Harley remembered what she told her while she was locked up. That she tried to lead her people with peace to honor what she would have wanted.

While Harley didn't doubt it, Bellamy did. "I wish I believed it," he said coldly.

"I do," Harley cut in. She made sure Octavia met her eyes as she spoke. "I believe that you tried to lead these people in peace and I can't imagine how hard it was for you but we're here, now, and we're going to live peacefully. Or not at all." She's positive Octavia knows that already but it's Bellamy who needs the confirmation.

She's tight-lipped before nodding. "Fine, I accept your terms," Octavia spit. "Now, tell me how to win this war."

"Indra has the details," Bellamy informed her. As he turned around to leave, he stopped when Octavia suddenly called his name after.

"Bellamy. This is how it was meant to be. Us, fighting side by side," his sister insisted hopefully. She sounded so much like she had six years prior that Harley shook her head, forcing herself to erase that thought. Octavia wasn't going to magically change back. None of them could.

"I'm not fighting for you," Bellamy declared. "I'm fighting to get back to my family." He disappeared then, marching away and leaving the two girls alone.

The tension between them was anything but thin. Harley used to be able to talk to Octavia about anything and although the love she had for her hadn't changed, she can't anymore. She hates how much everything between them changed. But she's the one who messed up and if she ever got the chance to fix it, she'll take it but right now isn't that time. Harley cleared her throat. "I should... Go..." She awkwardly started to shuffle her feet away.

With a sigh, Octavia stopped her. "Harley... Wait." She complied, slowly turning back around. "You were right, before. I know I shut you out but I did try to unite the clans peacefully and I want true peace on that valley. I want everyone to live in peace." She paused. "If you would have asked before you poisoned me, I would have told you the same."

"No, you wouldn't have," Harley disagreed. "You told me that my brother was an acceptable loss to you repeatedly like I was on your last nerve. Not everyone would have gotten to live if you delivered those worms and you know it. I'm sorry but..." Harley shook her head, moving on. "I didn't have a choice. I know you feel like you didn't either."

There's another heavy pause where Harley considered leaving before Octavia broke it, her voice wavering. "Maybe one day in Eden, you and I will be able to take a breath from our impossible choices and talk."

It wasn't much but it was a start. Octavia would never say it directly but had hinted to Harley there may be a day where they could face forgiveness and discuss how hard it was for the both of them to live with themselves after everything. She didn't know what obstacles they'd have to face in the future to get there but all Harley wanted to do was drop her guard and embrace Octavia, kiss her until she lost her breath. But she doesn't have that right anymore. For now, she thinks, as she finally left the tent with a faint smile despite the war that would start early the next morning.