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( act i. district nine )

...victors village

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                           — FALLON LET OUT A SOFT
sigh, her head supported by her hands as she rested her elbows on the table. The seventeen year old rubbed her furrowed brows, a heavy weight collapsing on her back as she struggled to shove down her growing exhaustion.

Fallon huffed out hastily, a groan slipping from her lips when a knock on the front door disrupted her whirling mind. The girl pushed her chair back, standing from her seat before dragging herself to open the door. The teen blinked when she was met with her mentor, Evren, who raised a brow.

"What are you doing here?" Fallon was quick to question, her tone clearly agitated making the male pull a face, "That's no way to greet someone who saved your life— twice."

The dark haired brunette blinked at him, "Seriously, Evren."

The thirty-six year old gave the teenage girl a patronizing smile, "Can I come in or do I have to stand in the doorway?" Fallon sighed heavily, stepping out of the way to make room for the man who treaded into the home.

The girl closed the door behind them before crossing her arms over her chest, her eyes questioning, "What do you need?" Evren pursed his lips, hands slipping into his pockets with his eyes taking in the teen, "You look horrible."

Fallon gave the man an incredulous look, "I look perfectly fine, can't say the same for yourself though." Evren's expression turned serious, his worry for the young girl only growing, "You've completely shut yourself out these past months, Fallon. You can barely look at Reva and I."

The Mintz girl dropped her eyes slightly, swallowing thickly, "I just needed some time to myself." Evren's shoulders slouched slightly, he knew precisely how the teen was feeling.

He'd once gone through it, the first year after the game was always the hardest. The nightmares were with you every night, hallucinations torturing your mind until you could no longer tell what was real and what was merely a figment of your broken mind.

"I understand that, kid. Believe me, I do." Evren watched Fallon's hands clench, "But you can't shut yourself out for this long, it'll end up doing more damage. You don't have to take the toll on your own."

The brunette stayed silent for what felt like a long minute, the atmosphere only growing tense with every second that flung by. "I'm not placing any burden onto Kou, he's a kid."

"So are you." Evren reminded, his tone stern yet soft all at once, "And I'm not saying to talk to Kou. I'm here kiddo. I know what you're feeling, I've been there. That's why I want you to let me help. Tell me what's haunting you."

Fallon struggled to stop her hands from trembling, overwhelmed with what her mentor was suggesting. "I can't trust myself around Kou." Evren's eyes softened slightly, he knew where the girl was going with this.

"I..." Fallon's voice grew hoarse, struggling to accept what she had almost done, "I saw the boy from one, it was like he was right in front of me, Ev. Taunting and mocking me for not being able to help Tyson fast enough. My body reacted before my mind could and I grabbed a knife..." A sharp inhale was taken, "and threw it. The next time I blinked— it was Kou standing right in front of me, eyes wide in terror with a knife stuck in the wall behind him, inches from his head."

Understanding washed over the adult's features, "Fallon—"

"I could've killed him." Fallon's hushed voice cut him off, "I could've killed my little brother."

Evren shook his head, "But you didn't." The brunette snapped her expressive eyes up to meet the male's dark ones, "But I could've— hell I almost did."

The man sighed softly, "I've never seen you miss when you set your eyes on a target. You might've thought it was that boy from One but a part of you knew it wasn't, that's what kept you from hurting Kou. I know it's scary, and I can't promise it'll just go away because to this day it still happens to me."

Fallon's face fell at his words, but he continued, "But it can get better to deal with. I used to have them every hour of every day, until gradually it got better."

The teenage girl pursed her trembling lips, a growing lump forming in her throat before speaking, "How? It's been months and every day it's the same."

"It's not gonna be an overnight thing, Fallon." Evren started, his hand resting on the wooden table to his side, "You slowly begin to live with what happen, busy your mind with other topics and unload your mind with someone every so often. Reva was there for me when I needed to speak with someone."

The male took a step towards the girl who he'd grown rather protective of, being his first tribute he was able to bring back alive from the arena, "I'm here to listen, kiddo."

Fallon's eyes stung with tears brimming her eyes, she stood frozen for a moment before she flung herself into Evren's arms.

The male was startled with the teens reaction— especially knowing Fallon didn't usually crave affection, but he could tell she needed the comfort.

Raising a hand to cradle her head, he felt the shakes that wracked through her body. Evren's hatred for the Capitol only grew more and more. He thought having to lose tributes every year was agonizing, but now there was Fallon.

He remembered the shy, sweet quiet girl that had been reaped, yet wasn't afraid to speak her mind when needed. Fallon was exceptional with targets, anything she threw would hit exactly where she'd want it to. So, they channeled that into dagger throwing, and she was good— hell she was great.

Evren thought she actually had a shot at coming out alive, but he knew she hated the idea of having to kill someone. But the games always drew the worst out of people.

Evren could see the glimmer in Fallon's eyes dim with every kill she'd made. Until it was like there was no life left in her eyes at all: no soul, merely the shell of a person.

The man didn't recognize his tribute when she'd walked out of the arena, she looked like she'd aged ten years. Exhaustion now engraved onto her features with a blank look her permanent expression.

The after effects of the games were something the Capitol never bothered to acknowledge, but rather force the victors to act like winners. Proud of their win and feeling fulfilled with life.

"Thank you." Fallon's muffled voice pulled the man out of his thoughts, her sniffling reaching his ears before he pursed his lips, "Of course, Fallon. You're not alone."

For the first time, a part of Fallon believed it.

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FALLON REACHED INTO the fridge to pull out the glass of orange juice, pouring it into her glass that sat on the counter before placing it back in the fridge.

The front door clicked open, Fallon's head peeking up at the noise when she saw her brother walk through. The girl immediately diverted her eyes, breathing audibly as Kou entered the kitchen.

"Fallon." His soft voice called for his sister who turned to begin putting away the dry dishes she'd washed earlier that day.

"What did you get at the market?" The brunette was doing everything she could to avoid his eyes, her mind bringing her back to the pure fear she had seen in them that day.

"Wow, you're actually talking to me now." Kou's tone was laced with pure sarcasm, his arms crossing over his chest while he watched the girl's movements come to a halt.

Fallon pressed her lips firmly together, "Kou..." she began before trailing off. Uncertain of how exactly to address her ignoring him for two whole days.

"I'm sorry."

A frown tugged on Kou's lips, "It wasn't your fault." Fallon was quick to shake her head in disagreement, "No, it was. I threw that knife at you." The brunette continued to stress, nowhere near forgiving herself for the accident that almost cost her brother.

Kou took a few steps towards the older girl, "The way your mind is dealing with what you went through is not your fault, Fallon. If you want to blame anyone— blame the fucking Capitol."

Fallon began to chew on her lower lip anxiously, nibbling until she began to draw a bit of blood, "I could've seriously hurt you, Kou, or worse—" The fifteen year old was quick to cut her sentence short before she could finish, "I'm here. Still here, unharmed."

Fallon swallowed thickly, she knew this wasn't an argument she was going to win against her brother. "Still." The brunette continued to push. Kou's stance slouched slightly, his head tipping to the side as he watched the girl's eyes go completely unreadable. Hiding her true emotions, something she'd gotten fearfully good at since returning from the games.

"Fallon, please." Kou softly spoke, his eyes pleading with his older sister. He couldn't imagine the thoughts that roamed her mind, what terrors haunted her. If he found having to watch the games from a screen hard— he couldn't even begin to wrap his head around on how it must've been to live it.

He wanted to be able to help his sister, in any way he possibly could, but he couldn't if she shut him out every time he tried.

Fallon moved abruptly, placing her dirty cup in the sink before beginning to make her way around Kou who watched her. "I'll be upstairs."

The boy's entire mood flattened upon seeing the brunette tread up the stairs. Anger flushed through his expressive eyes, he'd lost the sister he once knew at the hands of the Capitol.

How much more were they going to take until their satisfied?

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— AUTHORS NOTE
im not looking forward to fallons victors tour at all ngl