Time for a Q&A, there will be an author's note at the end soooo. Also if you see a "(x2)" next to a question, it means that the same question was asked 2 or more times.

Anyway, let's get it poppin'.

I W A I Z U M I

·What is your secret to making delicious food? Teach me please!

Well, I did go to a culinary school in France, I also took part in many event and took a few extra courses. I would love to teach you, but I'm busy working right now, so maybe later.

·When you and Oikawa get together, are you going to introduce him to your parents?

Why would I and Oikawa get together? He has a girlfriend. Though, I would to be honest.

·Have you taken part in cooking competitions before? Did you win?

Yes, I have taken part in competitions, and yes I won. I lost one of them though, it was a some local small restaurant and this guy named Souma made better rice than me. I'm still hurt about that.

· Do you think Oikawa's gay?

Considering all the things that he's done with me, he's at least bisexual.

· How do you keep your arms so muscular? *drools*

I work out every morning. One time Makki was watching me and I swear I heard his taking photos of my naked upper body.

· How do you deal with Makki and Mattsun?

I ignore them. Mattsun is more chill than Makki though.

· What are you hoping would happen now?

I'm hoping that author-san will untie me from this chair and let me go now...

· Fancy becoming the next Gordon Ramsay?

Gordon Ramsay-sunbaenim is an amazing human being, he told me that my food is delicious. Bless his soul.

· Were you gay from day 1? (x2)

Probably, I mean, one time in kindergarten I was playing a prince and I kissed another kid and said "No princesses allowed"... Kinda feels nostalgic when I say that now, as if I was a prince in my past life.

· Why are you so hot and daddy like?

Why is everyone calling me "daddy"? I know myself that I am attractive, but...

· What do you think of being a mom?

Moms have it hard, I don't think I could manage it. Shout out to my mom though, love you.

· Do you want to have kids when you marry Oikawa?

Who said I will marry Oikawa? Also kids sound nice.

· Would you do anything just to make Oikawa yours?

What's with all these Oikawa questions? And no.

· What do you love the most about Oikawa? (x3)

His personalities change when he's not working, I really love that about him. He goes from serious to dorky and it's just cute.

· Do you want to frickle frackle with Oikawa?

I wouldn't mind.

· Describe Oikawa with one word.

Princess.

· Do you want to take Oikawa on a date? If so, where?

He's already dating someone, but if I had to I would just chill at home and eat junk food, watch movies and cuddle.

· Hi daddy.

Don't.

· Do you miss your parents? If so, would you take Oikawa to meet them eventually?

I do miss my parents, and I probably would.

· WHY HAVEN'T YOU AND OIKAWA SMASHED YET?

Oh, I don't know, maybe because he's taken?

· Name 3 things you like and dislike about Oikawa.

Well, I love that he's hardworking, is intelligent and a good kisser. The only thing I don't like is that he's oblivious.

· If you switched bodies with Oikawa, what would you do?

See if he has any tattoos because I feel like he does.. Also look at how big his dick is, I'm just curious.

· Who's more bearable? Mattsun, Makki, Oikawa or Miko?

Oikawa.

· How are you so perfect like it's not fair

I'm not perfect though?

· What do you think of when you see Oikawa?

What am I supposed to think of? I just think "oh, here he is".

· Can you wake up one day and make breakfast shirtless?

Already did that though, but yeah I would do it again.

· When did you realise that you were gay?

When I was in middle school. Everybody was playing spin the bottle and kissing other boys felt better than kissing girls.

· Gay?

Gay.

· Fuck, marry, kill: Oikawa, Mattsun, Makki?

Kill Makki, fuck Mattsun, marry Oikawa.

· Does Oikawa Tooru is gay?

Well that was almost English.

· Have you ever thought of writing a book? *cough* chef's book *cough*

Nah, not yet. Maybe later.

· Do you have a random cutting knife in your back pocket just in case you need to cook somewhere? It's handy.

I do carry around a small knife, it's handy when I'm outside having a picnic or something.

· How long do I have to wait for you to fuck Oikawa in the ass?

Long enough.

· Are we allowed to touch your biceps, thighs or abs?

Hmm.. No. Private property.

· What is your favorite meme?

Any spongebob meme.

· What Greek God do you think you are? Do you believe in mermen because I think you are one and you're cooking your cousins in the pan sometimes.

If I had to pick a Greek God I'd be either Kratos or Eros, and I don't believe in mermen, why would I?

· Swiggity swooty are you coming for that Ukiawa booty?

Who the fuck is Ukiawa?

· If you could go anywhere with Oikawa, where would it be? Why?

To an amusement park. I wanna see if he's afraid or rollercoasters.

· WOULD YOU ADOPT ME IF YOU MARRY OIKAWA PLEAAAASE

Ask someone else, I don't think I'll be able to adopt you.

· Would you strangle me with your godly thighs?

I don't wanna go to jail, so no.

· Do you like steak? Weird question but you seem like a steak kind of guy.

Oh, I love me some steak. Just properly cooked. When I was in culinary school they taught us that steaks are supposed to be cooked "rare" or "medium rare", like bitch, no, I ain't catching no disease, I will eat my properly cooked, juicy steak and be happy.

· What is your favorite food?

Curry or ramen.

· Top or bottom?

Top.

· You jealous of Miko and Oikawa?

Not jealous, just disappointed.

· How do you feel about Oikawa fucking Miko?

Well, they are dating, so it's normal, but I'm a little bit disappointed.

· Did you have any feelings for other males before Oikawa? Was your first relationship with a  boy or a girl?

Who said I have feelings for Oikawa? And I did, my first relationship was with a boy from highschool, I had a crush on him, but it turned out that he was just confused and wasn't really that into guys. We ended it all on a good note though.

· Will you call Oikawa your princess more often?

I won't call him mine, but I will call him princess.

· Which do you love more: Oikawa or Godzilla?

Godzilla, I might be Godzillasexual. I love it. I have a Godzilla poster on my wall.

· Do you dislike easy-microwave-food sometimes?

Sometimes yes, but most of the time I appreciate it.

· When do you plan to kick Miko out?

Ask Makki and Mattsun.

· BARA-CHAN~

What's that?

...

O I K A W A

· How do you really feel about Iwaizumi and Miko?

I don't know, I've been confused lately...

· Do you actually want to marry Miko?

I started doubting that, I'm not sure if I want to.

· How many fucks do you give about Miko?

Not sure how to answer this question?

· Could you lock Miko in the closet or shove her to MegaBlocks hell?

No? She's a human being, she would be scared.

· WHY ARE YOU NOT GAY YET?

AM I SUPPOSED TO BE?

· When are you and Iwa-chan gonna fuck? (x3)

That would count as cheating and I ain't about that life.

· What would you do if Iwa-chan was straight? (x2)

Nothing probably, it's none of my business what his sexuality is.

· Why are you trying to be straight? (x2)

I'm confused okay?

· Would you give up Miko if you could be with Iwaizumi?

Not sure yet... I mean, Iwaizumi's personality is much better than Miko's and all... Ah, I'm so lost.

· Did you ever love Miko at any point of your life?

If I didn't like her at least a little bit, why would I propose?

· U kno ur gay rite?

No I don't, also please look up how to spell words.

· It doesn't make you gay if you think Iwa is hot, we all think he's hot, but please love him and marry

Someone said it, also I'm still not sure about the love part.

· What do you think your parents would do if they found out you're gay for Iwa?

Well, I'm still confused about my sexuality, but if I was gay then my parents would disown me probably.

· Would you push Miko off the bridge?

No, that's murder.

· What's your favorite food that Iwaizumi makes?

His spaghetti is God's work, also those sauces that he makes HALLELUJAH.

· What makes you love Iwaizumi?

Again with the love. I LIKE him because he's nice and smart and talented, basically perfect.

· Why can't you end things with Miko?

Why would I? Let me have some time to think, please.

·What are your kinks?

I don't think I have any.

Author: *cough* daddy kink *cough*

· Do you still believe that you're straight? (x2)

I'm doubting that.

· Do you stay with Miko because of "respect" to your parents or because you think it's the right thing to do?

I did stay with her at first because my parents made me, but now.. I don't know. I don't think staying with her is the right thing to do anymore.

· Are you aware of the term bisexual? It would help with a lot of problems.

I am aware of that term. I've been thinking about it.

· Do you have a secret stash of alien merch you hide from Miko?

....yes. It's in my office.

· Meh?

Meh.

· Can you give me some advice for being socially awkward?

First of, try to get into conversations, or even start conversations by yourself. Then, try to express yourself in some way that makes you comfortable and in the end you'll be sociable enough.

· Top or bottom?

Considering how weak I become when I'm next to HIM, I'd say bottom... Kinda embarrassing to say that.

· Are you gay or European?

Neither.

· Can you plan Miko's extermination?

That would be considered as a murder, I'm not going to jail.

· What would you do if Miko cheated on you with Iwaizumi?

Kick them both out.

· What are Mattsun and Makki to you?

Really good friends, almost brothers.

· Before Iwaizumi came, how did you and Miko treat Mattsun and Makki?

I always treated them like friends, not sure about Miko.

· Why are you trying to run away from gay thoughts?

Because I was brought up to think that being gay is one of the worst things ever. Thanks mom.

· Can you get pregnant just from Iwaizumi's smile or something?

Men can't get pregnant so no.

· Describe your favorite tie?

It's a grey tie with aliens on it.

· Please describe Iwaizumi's beauty and cooking.

I can describe them both in one go: God-like

· If you were to have a pet, which animal would you choose?

I like parrots a lot, but I would love to have a big aquarium with a lot of fish in it.

· Do you love Iwaizumi? (x3)

I don't know.

· If Iwaizumi is dead and you have to kill Miko to revive him, would you?

I refuse to answer this question

· When will you admit your gay feelings for Iwaizumi? (x2)

Whenever I figure out if I truly like him or no.

· Will you stop making a fuss and marry Iwaizumi?

Why do you all want me to marry him?

· Would you like to be a demon king?

No,no way. I couldn't.

· Apart from your present job, what else would you like to work as?

I'm not sure. I never did anything else apart from my current job.

· Bro Iwaizumi is so fine why don't you rip off his shirt and kiss already?

We kissed already though.

...

M A T T S U N

· Are you and Makki dating? (x2)

That's a good question, I'd like to know the answer myself

· What is your favorite thing about Makki? (x2)

Am I supposed to choose one? It's impossible! I love everything about him, even if he annoys me sometimes.

· Have you two ever fucked?

Maybe yes, maybe no, maybe sex, I don't know.

The answer is that we hav--// *slapped*

· What do you think of when I say: white, sticky and goes into your mouth?

Gum? Like Orbit or Dirol? They're really good.

· You have to kill one: Makki or memes?

Sorry Makki, you gotta go. Just kidding, Makki is more important than memes.

· Top or bottom?

See this bitch right here*points at himself* this bitch is a top.

· Would you become a meme queen with Makki?

Aren't we already that? I'm pretty sure we're the queens of the meme realm.

· Where will you take Makki for your honeymoon? (x2)

To mars hopefully. Or to explore the earth and see if it's really flat like Miko's chest

· When's the wedding?

The day Iwaizumi and Oikawa get together, I'll propose to Makki.

· Can I be invited to yours and Makki's wedding?

EVERYONE IS INVITED but bring gifts

· On a scale from one to meme - how meme are you?

I'm about a solid pepe

· What is the best dish that Iwaizumi has made so far?

Homemade pizza, I swear that boy is a miracle worker, his hands turn everything into gold

· How hard is it not to stare at Makki and not to touch him?

Oh it's pretty hard, but not as hard as my di--//*slapped again*

· How long have you and Malik been together?

Malik? As in Zayn Malik?

· What is the most irritating thing Makki does?

He grabs my butt ALL THE TIME

· So you like Dad jokes?

I inhale dad jokes

· What's your favorite thing Makki does for you?

He wakes me up every morning and gives me a kiss, that would be a favorite

· You bottom on Sundays, don't you?

I don't bottom on any days, no days off, 24/7 griiiiiiiiiiiind

· The only way to stop Makki from dying in your arms is to marry Miko, what do you do?

I can divorce her afterwards right??

· What would you do to get Miko out of the way of IwaOi's relationship?

Unexplained murder or a disappearance works for me.

· TEACH ME YOUR WAYS?

What ways??!!

· Are you and Makki married?

Not yet, but maybe soon 😏😏😏

· Favorite meme? (x2)

Currently it's men rompers meme

· What is your favorite prank to pull on Miko?

Drawing dicks on branded clothes. Sorry to all Gucci shirts that have been ruined.

· Do you get your eyebrows done?

HELL YES

· Who gets the dick?

😏 do I need to answer that

· Are you stanning BTS already?

Makki made me do it. He made me watch all their music videos and Bangtan Bombs, he made me learn the names.... Gotta love Jimin though, have you seen those thighs?

...

M A K K I

A/N I drank a big 'ol glass of champagne before this so I'm sorry in advance

· Prunes or dates?

What the fuck is a prune? I'll go with dates

· Memes?

Inhale the memes, exhale the memes, inject the memes into my blood stream. There are good memes and there are bad memes, why has God abandoned us?

· Do you dye your own hair?

Usually, Mattsun sometimes does it for me

· Top or bottom?

Power bottom, not even embarrassed.

· Who was your first kiss and who was your first time?

My first kiss was Mattsun and my first time was --// *slapped*

· How often do you and Mattsun go on dates?

Not often enough  :(

· Are you possibly a fudanshi? (x2)

I basically swim in yaoi mangas and doujisnhis everyday, does that answer your question?

· What do you love the most about Mattsun?

But I love everything about him I can't choose just one thing! If you insist it would be his big di--// *slapped again*

· Whenever you and Mattsun are alone, what do you do?

What all the other people do. Plot world domination.

· Have you and Mattsun been ever caught fucking?

Unfortunately no, I practically begged him to allow Miko to see us go at it, but he refused.

· How many yaoi mangas do you own?

Not enough

· So you like BTS?

Do I like BTS? DO I LIKE BTS? I love them! I love a lot of groups but BTS and GOT7 are my favorite. Ugh, they are so amazing and so handsome, so talented! J-hope is my bias,I love him. He's so cute and all, but his dance skills are just out of this world, he can use those dance moves to dance towards this diiiiiiiiiiiiiiick, just kidding, but oh my go--

Mattsun: will you shut up?

· What would you name your amd Mattsun's child?

Hajime, so he grows strong like Iwaizumi and I can show him off to everyone.

· Fuck, marry, kill: Mattsun, Iwaizumi, Oikawa.

Well, I gotta fuck Iwaizumi, marry Mattsun and kill Oikawa. Sorry Oikawa.

· If you switched bodies with Mattsun, what would you do?

Dominate.

· Who gives better blowjobs?

Me, I'm the best, Mattsun said so himself.

· Your OTP? (Besides IwaOi)

Too many! All the pairings in yaoi mangas such as Ritsu x Takano, and many ships from kpop like Yoonmin, Namjin, Markson, 2Jae, ChanBaek and so on.

· Have you ever considered wearing a baby blue outfit? Pastel would suit you!

Half of my closet is pastel clothes, I'm pretty darn aesthetic.

· How much gay is gay enough?

I think like good big gay or 4 litres of gay is gay enough, you know what I'm saying?

· What is your favorite thing that Mattsun does for you?

He treats me like a goddamn princess, I love

· Do you like EXO?

Yes I do! I love them a lot, how can I not? They are so talented and handsome an---

Mattsun: please shut up

· On a scale from one to gay, how gay are you for Mattsun?

I'm 100% gay for him

· Why do you look so fab in pink hair?

Because I can

· What color do you want to die Mattsun's hair?

Blue, like pastel blue. We would be matching!

· If Oikawa went to a party with Kuroo and Bokuto, and Iwaizumi would be jealous, what would you do?

Buy Iwaizumi a drink and tell him that Oikawa won't cheat because Bokuto and Kuroo are already taken.

· Favorite doujinshis?

Any Attack on Titan ones

· Favorite meme?

All the kpop memes to be honest

· What are Mattsun's kinks?

Don't tell him that I told you, but he gets really turned on when I start to beg, I don't know if that's a kink but I th---// *kicked*

· Why are you so cute? You're ruining my life!

Sorry baeeee

· Would you ever consider wearing a summer dress?

Who says I haven't?

· Would you ever marry Mattsun?

Any day to be honest

· Who is your BTS otp? (x2)

Y o o n m i n

· Do you ever consider dressing up like a diva?

I'm always dressed up like a diva, Beyonce ain't got nothing on me

· What is your hair color?

Naturally it's light brown but I dye it pink because I love it

· WILL YOU AND MATTSUN ADOPT ME AS YOUR SON? I'M NICE AND ENJOY MEMES

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY

· What is your middle name?

I don't have one!

...

M I K O

· Do you see anything in Iwaizumi that attracts you at all?

Well, he is really handsome and all

· Could you stand on Legos or MegaBlocks for each and one of your haters?

There are no Legos to step onto then, everybody loves me!

· What is your background? (x2)

I grew up in a rich family, I have no siblings and I love fashion. My dad bought me branded clothes since I was little, so how can I not?

· What do you like the best about Oikawa?

Uhmmm.. I don't know.

· How do you feel about Mattsun and Makki?

They are assistants and they need to stop acting like Oikawa's friends.

· Why do you want to stay with Oikawa when you obviously have eyes on Iwaizumi? Money? (x2)

I don't have eyes on Iwaizumi, ha ha, why would you say that? I love Oikawa for who he is

· When Iwaizumi left the room, did you continue your thing with Oikawa?

Oikawa wasn't in the mood anymore, so no.

· When you go on trips, do you cheat with Oikawa with foreign men? (x4)

Why would you say that? I could never! I mean, men love watching me but that doesn't mean I'll sleep with every rich guy I meet

· Do you think of having a child with Oikawa? (x2)

Bearing a child seems like too much pain, and it would ruin my appearance so no, not now.

· Do you really love Oikawa? (x2)

Why wouldn't I? He buy-- he is perfect

· If Oikawa dies and Iwaizumi disappears God-knows-where, which would you choose: Mattsun or Makki?

Neither, they don't suit my taste

· If you weren't rich, what do you think your job would be?

I would just find a rich man to marry, and I would still be a model.

· What were your first thoughts when you saw Oikawa?

I thought that he was pretty good looking, not to mention he was wearing a very expensive suit

· Opinion on gays?

I don't wanna be around them, they disgust me.

· How old are you?

I'm 26 years old, my beauty is blooming at this age

· Since when do you know Oikawa?

Since I was introduced to him at the family gathering.

· Were you forced into a relationship with Oikawa and did you love someone before him? (x2)

I chose him myself

· Thoughts on Iwaizumi? Do you like him?

I think he is extremely goodlooking, too bad he doesn't have much fortune.

· Did you miss Oikawa while being away in Madrid for two weeks?

I didn't have any time to miss him! I was too busy

· I feel like you're putting on a mask. Are you really a bitch?

How dare you call me that? I would never lie to anyone, I'm such a nice human being.

· How much money have you spent on makeup?

Not enough, I'm missing the newest lipsticks. I'll just tell Oikawa to buy them.

· Should people pity you?

No, they should be jealous of me.

· Have you ever touched a burger?

No, burgers aren't good food, I prefer salads.

· If Oikawa died, what would you do?

Move onto another guy like any other girl

· How tall are you?

I'm 5'8

· Can you leave Oikawa already? He's in love with Iwaizumi, he's gay! LEAVE (x38644)

Nonsense!

...

H A T A R I

· Is there going to be a sadistic character in this story?

Lmao no way

· What story are you the most proud of? How do you feel about this book?

I'm the most proud of this one and I also really love Chimerical!

· So Oikawa and Miko really did "it"?

When Iwaizumi walked in - no, but they have done it before.

· How long till Oikawa realises he's gay af?

It's my story so I don't have to make him realize that DO NOT PUSH ME

· Who is the easiest character to write?

Makki, because he's me

· Why are you so fabulous?

I'm not that fabulous though

· Will we get a chapter of Makki and Mattsun doing it?

I'm not sure about a full chapter, but I will probably mention it.

· Why are you so awesome? Also will Miko find someone else to love?

First of, I'm no awesome. Second, probably not she doesn't deserve it I KNOW THINGS THAT YOU DON'T I KNOW WHAT SHE DOES THAT FUCKIN BITCH

· Your inspiration for this book? (x2)

Actually, my first idea was a story called "Dinner" about how Oikawa hires a chef to cook for an event, but I wanted more spice and so I made this....

Also alcohol

· If you could bring one of the HQ into real life and ask you out on a date, who would it be?

IWAIZUMI HNNNNG

· Bias in BTS?

IT'S KIM SEOKJIN.

S E O K J I N

MY TALENTED BABY WHO DESERVES SO MUCH MORE LOVE AND ATTENTION

· Is Miko going to suffer? How does she look like?

Not gonna tell if she will suffer. Miko is a tall girl, she is really slim because she's a model, pale skin, really long brown hair and brown eyes, always wears expensive dresses and has makeup on.

· How are you so creative? How do you have so many good ideas?

I've never really had a chance to express myself, so I kept all my ideas inside until I found wattpad. Also beCAUSE ALIENS HAVE A HOLD OF ME PLEASE HELP

· When do you get the most inspired and where?

I get inspired when I listen to music as I tend to create plots or events in my head as the song plays. Also, nature inspires me

· How well do you draw?

On a scale from 1 to 10?
Like a solid 4

· Will this book have a sequel?

I HAVEN'T FINISHED THIS ONE YET HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW??????

· Do you plan to stop writing stories anytime soon?

Lmao no I have 7 new fics planned

· chromaconic do you love me? Also could you describe your eyes?

Yes, yes I do love you, my precious nugget. My eyes are really light blue-greyish. I'll show you a pic some day

· If you could change a story line of Haikyuu, what would you change?

Make all the ships canon

· What's your favorite thing about this story?

I love the fact that people comment a lot -w- it makes me happy.

· Is it hard writing what you come up with?

Sometimes. Sometimes I lose motivation to write a certain story and some times I can't think of a proper plot, if I can't - fanfic is deleted (aka How To Tame A Wild Dog and Love Me For Who I Am)

· As you said Iwaizumi is taller in this book, why?

D O M I N A T I O N

· Why are you so perfect?

But I'm not???

· Would you marry a stranger like me? Can I call you Aka?

I'm already married though, I have a wife and a husband. Also my nickname is Tari sooooooo I would prefer that

· How do you deal with angst?

I don't, I just let it roam freely

· Do you have any stories planned? How was your day?

If you wanna see what I have planned then I suggest you look at my Satan's Notebook and my day was tiring

· Can Kageyama become a new character in this?

Kageyama already made his debut though :/

..

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ANYWAY THANK YOU FOR READING.

I'M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN. I SPENT OVER 4 HOURS WRITING AND EDITING THIS. IT HAS MORE THAN 4.6K WORDS AND MY FINGERS HURT.

If you didn't find your question, the reasons might be:

1. Someone asked the same one

2. I didn't understand what you meant

3. I accidentally missed it

4. I found it uncomfortable

Okay that's all, see you next chapter!

-hatari.