"how bad would it be if we mixed vodka with gin?" kotori asked, in her hands a large bottle of gin with a fancy looking label. she had her eyebrow raised, waiting for approval only to receive disappointed stares.

"really bad. like waking up in your ex's bed bad..." yuri sighed, catching the contemplation on bokuto's face. "and for you kotaro it would be like waking up shitfaced in an orgy bad."

"you make a point" bokuto sighed. "put the gin down. no drinking tonight" he said to kotori who's lips formed a large smile. "what you grinning about?"

"the big party shot bokuto kotaro said no drinking? this must go into the history books" she chuckled as she put the bottle down and caught up with the other two. bokuto just let out a sigh before allowing a tiny chuckle escape his mouth. "i mean, c'mon, when was the last time you had a nice small party with no alcohol?"

"honestly i don't remember. but also i never had a party with just girls" bokuto turned to yuri and kotori. 

"sai is coming, so not all girls" yuri corrected him. 

"sai?"

"yeah, uh, he doesn't use the deadname sayaka anymore" yuri watched as dots connected in bokuto's head and he finally realize who they were talking about. 

"oh! sai! my bad, i have terrible memory. speaking of that, what are we making today?" bokuto's thoughts wandered off as he looked into what they had in the basket. obviously you need food for the party but how do you mix pancake flour mix and chicken wings? is it a new recipe?

"a lot of different stuff. there's gonna be five of us there so we need a lot of food. you-" yuri turned to bokuto. bokuto still felt a bit wary around her, she was intimidating on levels one could find it hard to understand. "- you need to go to the veggies and fruits and pick up something for us to snack on"

yuri was tall, taller than most guys bokuto knew. she was atheltic too, gym three times a week and workouts every day, she did a lot of lifting and wasn't scared to show off her muscles when necessary - which is why some guys called her a guy also - which was rude, but she didn't mind as long as they didn't touch her. she kept her hair at shoulder lenght, had an undercut and a slit in her eyebrow. overall, kotori and her did not match at all.

kotori was like a soft pastel pillow and yuri was a hard rock - yet somehow the two were bestfriends if not closer. bokuto couldn't figure out their relationship, not that it mattered much anyway. yuri kind of, well, literally almost slapped him the first time he came to visit her with kotori - she thought bokuto was trying to play kotori  but was soon assured that he was just being friendly.

yuri acted a lot like a mama bird with her friends and it didn't take her long to take bokuto under her wing - he was almost instatnly accepted by the tall and powerful woman and it... made him very happy. wasn't long till he met others too. there was also benny, an overseas student who loved all things nature, she made bokuto a flower crown during the first time they all hung out. and there was also sai, a transgender guy who was very, and i mean, extremely vary of bokuto at first.

having known what bokuto used to be just very recently, sai had some negative feelings towards him at first but warmed up eventually when he realized bokuto had no bad intentions with the friend group. these new people bokuto found himself surrounded by were accepting and loving no matter what, and for the first time in forever bokuto found himself want to be his true self.

as bokuto wandered off into the aisle of fruits and veggies, he found himself daydreaming about the upcoming evening and just how confortable he can be. as he reached out to pick up a pineapple, his hand collided with someone else's. though, there was no need to look to his left to see who it was. the slim and long fingers, and the silver bracelet told him everything he would have ever needed to know.

he turned his eyes to the side only to meet akaashi's eyes staring back at him, slightly surprised to see the other. almost immediately, bokuto took a step back. "sorry, you can have it" he said as he held out the pineapple to akaashi, waiting for him to take it.

"no, it's fine. i can get canned ones, you know? not an emergency" a small smile crept on akaashi's face. "it seems like you need this more than me"

"ah... i'm having a night out with friends and... they want healthy snacks" bokuto let out a nervous chuckle as he scrathced the back of his head, hoping that akaashi doesn't think that he is still hanging out with the same people.

"see? take it, i can get one another day. though, rare to see you shopping for fruits here, or just shopping in general" akaashi went back to looking at the variety of fruits in front of them.

"i, uh, decided to change some things..." bokuto murmured as he picked up a pear and inspected it. it had one green side and one red side, looked tasty but will the sides taste different? is one sweet and the other sour? who knows.

"that's good to know" akaashi followed up. he turned to bokuto once again. "i hope the changes go smoothly for you", he smiled.

bokuto was once again reminded of just why he fell for akaashi in the first place. his perfect smile. though, instead of a warm feeling in his heart, instead bokuto was hit with daggers - knowing damn well what he did and what he said to the man next to him. 

"hey, i want--" bokuto started saying but was interrupted by a voice two aisles away.

"kotaro you better be packing bags of fruits or else!" yuri's voice echoed throught the surrounding aisles.

"your friends are waiting. it was nice seeing you, bokuto" akaashi waved him goodbye and turned to walk away.

"...i'm so sorry for what i did..." bokuto whispered under his nose before rushing off with one pear and one pineapple, who cares if yuri gives him a lecture at least he finally managed to voice it at lwast a bit.

"i hope he didn't hear... i want to apologize properly" he said to himself as he approached yuri and put the fruits in the basket.

"dude, seriously? this could feed a toddler not five people" yuri sighed. "was that him?"

"was that who?" bokuto watched as both yuri and kotori turned to him with vicious gazes.

"was that the guy you like?" yuri followed up, though, an answer wasn't necessary as they watched bokuto's cheeks turn deep red as he turned away from then, now facing the pasta.

"y-yeah... it was" bokuto managed to say, still having a hard time voicing his affections.

"he's cute. and really pretty" yuri patted bokuto on the back to inform him that they need to go now and watched as the seemingly cool and popular guy walked in embarassement, i mean, for him to openly admit his crush on another man? it took a lot of energy. 

bokuto stayed quiet for the rest of the journey, his mind swirling around all possible "what if i wasn't an asshole?" scenarios. it's only natural to think that akaashi and him would have... stayed together? maybe even they would have started dating quite some time ago? but at the same time, it's a butterfly effect type of situation. he would have never met kotori and her friends and akaashi would have never gotten close to kuroo.

"what are you thinking about?" kotori slapped bokuto's back. the other found himself staring into an empty bowl hewas supposed to pour chips in. wait, how did he get back to the dorms? and sai and benny were already there? when did that happen?

"you were so lost in thought, what's up?" sai asked as he approached bokuto, giving him a small smile.

"oh, i was thinking about--"

"thinking about your crush, yes, we know" yuri chimed in as she got the pizza out of the oven.

"and about how much more i want to change..." bokuto said.

"what else is there? i mean, you seem plenty changed to me" benny skipped over to the bunch. 

"i want to be confident in my old self. back when i accepted everyone, no exceptions. back when i wasn't scared to love. i want to be that guy again. i think... i think that guy is the real me" bokuto sighed loudly. he felt a hand on his back and another on his shoulder, the four pairs of eyes stared at him.

"i think you're already that guy, kotaro. just don't be afraid to be yourself from now on" yuri said,  the others nodded in agreement. maybe it was the warm feeling in his heart, maybe the realiziation that he finally had people he could depend on - tears started forming in his eyes, like a final shed of the old him and the arrival of new him.

"awh, are you crying? c'mon group hug!" kotori announced as the four people squeezed bokuto from all sides, comforting him.

inside his pocket, bokuto's phone buzzed and he took it out for a quick look only to feel more tears start welling up in his eyes.

from: akaashi 

i forgive you 

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A little wholesome chapter for yall I know it's been a while, its exam season right now.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed! With Bokuto slowly changing we can move onto arc 2 of the story - strap in it's gonna get wild.

hatari.