chennedy🖤.

i called angel over and over and she's not answering the phone. it's honestly worrying me because she would answer the 2nd time i called. i grabbed my car keys and drove to her apartment.

i pulled up and saw her car in the driveway which means she's home. i got out and ran to the door. i walked in yelling for her. "ANGEL"

"ANGEL ? wya mama ?" i asked. i ran to the kitchen and she wasn't there. tiago started barking so i let him out so he could play for a while.

"where is your mommy boy" i said rubbing his head. i went upstairs to her room where i saw her keys and phone on her bed.

"mama wya ?" i asked. i looked and saw the bathroom door shut. i knocked lightly before going in. "baby wyd ?" i asked. i saw angel on the floor with her head in her hands.

she looked up at me her eyes filled with tears. her face was red and her breathing was heavy. "baby what's wrong" i asked bending down to meet i contact with her. i hugged her tightly rocking her back and forth.

"you can talk to me my love". she stared at me as tears streamed down her face.

"it's okay baby just take a deep breath for me" i said coaching her through her panic attack. she grabbed my hands as she began to take deep breaths.

"there you go pretty.. i promise your okay baby" i said kissing her forehead. i pulled her up and led her to her bed. she laid her head on my chest as i rubbed her forehead.

"what's going on baby ? let me help you" i said.

"i saw him.. idk why and it freaked me out" she said as her voice cracked.

"your still healing my love.. i understand. i don't want you to feel like tho baby. i'm here for you if you ever feel alone mama" i said.

she nodded at me and gave me a weak smile. i wiped her face as she breathed in and out.

"gts baby.. you need it" i said as she yawned. i pecked her lips and she put her whole body on top of mine.

angel has spent so much time healing but healing comes with being okay one day and breaking down the next. i never want her to feel alone tho she know she got me and milla.

it's hard seeing her like this i feel so helpless especially since she's hurting. i'm hoping that i can get her a therapist and maybe open up.

i rubbed her back as she fell asleep. ik she's exhausted she cried so much. i grabbed my phone and texted kamilla and jada.

chenny pooh🤞🏾: jada.. angel had a panic attack.

jada wada 🫶🏾: omg my bestie 🥺. is she okay what happened ? something trigger that ??

chennypooh🤞🏾: mhmm she said that she saw him and it freaked her out.. poor baby 😔. but i just put her to sleep.

jada wada🫶🏾: tell her to call me when she wake up 🩷.

chennypooh🤞🏾: yk i gotchu 🫶🏾.

angel🎀.

i walked into the kitchen where i saw chenn and milla sitting and talking. chenn looked up noticing me and smiled.

"hey you.. sleep okay ?" she asked.

"yes" i said sleepily. i sat down and rubbed my eyes looking at my phone.

"hmm eat baby" chenn said handing me chic-fil-a. "thank you mama" i said and she nodded. she sat down beside me and grabbed my hands.

"so don't get upset but i talked to a therapist and she wants you to come by her office tomorrow" chenn said making me look at her confused.

"a therapist ? what i need a therapist for ?"

"because you need to open up to someone. obviously your still traumatized baby"

"that doesn't mean i need to see a therapist chennedy im not crazy" i said.

"i never said you were angel.. stop twisting my words. i'm just saying maybe it'll help you.. the panic attacks you have are a big deal mama"

"this is ridiculous. i cried and now i need a d*** therapist" i said grabbing my phone.

"it wasn't just a cry angel.. it was a beg for help without you saying it. your hurting okay and i'm trying to help you."

"i don't need your help man i'm good"

"really ? so you sitting on that floor struggling to breathe is good ? you not being able to call for help is good ? let me help you baby. don't be difficult it's okay to need help sometimes".

"so you think i need to see a therapist ?" i asked.

"yes, like i said you need someone you can open up to cus you won't talk to me"

"because i'm crazy right ? just a girl who's ex boyfriend tried to kill her and it made her a lunatic" i said shaking my head.

"it's not like that baby and yk it. your not crazy but again you need help. this man is stuck in your head. why avoid getting help when it can really help you to heal ? stop putting words in my mouth angel. i'm doing this for for mama"

"milla what do you think ?" i asked looking at her. she set her phone down on the counter and looked at me.

"i think chenn is right.. just because your seeing a therapist don't mean your crazy.. it means you have someone to talk to that you can trust" she said.

"come here" chenn said grabbing my hand. she led me to the living room where their was a mirror against the wall.

"look in the mirror" she said. i stared at myself and it didn't even look like me. i look so tired and exhausted and so unhappy.

"do you recognize her ?" chenn asked holding my waist. i shook my head no and then looked down at my feet. my eyes filled with tears quickly.

"i don't either my love. it's not you.. the real you is hiding under all these feelings you got bottled up baby. that's why i want you to open up. it will help you get your glow back" chenn said.

she pulled me by my waist into her chest. i wiped my tears and nodded. "your okay baby.. your gonna be happy again you just gotta give it time. heal my love don't bottle up your feelings cus it's only hurting you" she said wiping my face.

"okay.. i'll go" i said. she smiled at me and nodded. i felt her rub my forehead lightly making me sleepy.

"i'm proud of you baby. your strong and everything is gonna be okay" she said kissing my cheek. i nodded and hugged her tightly.

chenn's right.. i'm not myself and i didn't even recognize myself in that mirror. my eyes were puffy and swollen, my hair was everywhere and i looked so unhappy. and that's not me. i wanna fix that and i'm willing to go to therapy if it will help me to find myself again. happy me.

chapter 21😝! okay i had to do a realistic version of the "healing process" so yeah. but chenn is such a good gf. cus PERIOD. vote and comment🙃!