DEAR JACK,
For once I am at a loss for words
Almost like I'm afraid to hurt myself.
The other way is for you to hurt.
Even I couldn't bring myself to do that to you.

❂

SAM'S PLANS WITH JACK WERE NOT GOING AS PLANNED. In fact, he felt he had messed everything all up. Not even able to last more than a few minutes, he had called for a break to clear heads. Jack was pressured to do something he was unsure how to do and Sam had no clue how to move forward.

He had left the library for their break, leaving Rose and Jack staring at a pencil. Not being able to bring his powers to move a pencil was not what had bothered Jack. It was Sam leaving just like when Dean had to leave the bunker to escape him. "I shouldn't have said anything. He hates me."

Leaning forward, Rose gave a tap to the table. "The thing about Sam is, he understands you without getting frustrated. He doesn't want to pressure you and push you like Asmodeus did."

"But I didn't want a break."

"Sam needed it," she clarified. Sam Winchester hated being seen as evil towards anyone. He never wanted anyone uncomfortable because he had done something he did not intend. After all that Jack had been put through, he did not want to be the bad guy. "He wants to help but he isn't sure how."

"I don't want to take a break. I think if I keep working on it, it'll come to me. Maybe it will make Sam feel better." Convincing himself to keep on pushing, Jack turned to his pencil, putting his full concentration on it.

Unable to watch it for long, Rose picked up the pencil before Jack gave himself a stroke. Holding the pencil up to him, she made it obvious she wouldn't let him continue. "First of all, stop staring at this thing like you're gonna blast it with lasers. All you wanna do is move it."

"I'm trying," he grumbled, taking the pencil back. With a small sigh, Rose scooted her chair over to Jack to hell him get through this. "This isn't about whipping it into another dimension. You start small and work your way up. We just need it to at least move an inch. Don't overthink, don't strain yourself. Don't ask it to move, tell it."

Silence had filled the air as Jack had tried to listen to Roses words. Of course this had led him to overthink everything and this was putting him into a mess. "I told it to move and it didn't."

This had stumped Rose on how to explain herself further. It had been easy for her before but it was much harder to tell someone how she felt when she did it. Then something had hit her and she attempted to hit Jack in response.

Catching her by her wrist, he was wide eyed in worry at her open hand coming at his face for no good reason. "What was the for?"

Laughing, Rose pulled her hand away. "Did you think about stopping me?" Thinking it over, Jack shook his head but still very much confused why she had went to slap him. "Exactly! It was your reflex. And moving a pencil will just be a reflex if you don't think about it."

"So pretend the pencil will hit me like you did?"

"Tried to," she clarified. "All you have to do is feel it. Feel what is right and it'll happen. And me staring at you isn't helping. So, I'm gonna go talk to Sam and maybe get some food for us, okay?"

Taking a stand, she had prepared herself to leave. Jack had just sat there with his focus on the pencil, attempting to will the pencil to do anything. It would take time and she did not want him stressed over something so simple. She placed her hands on his shoulders, bringing her head down to his level. "I don't expect you to be twirling it when I get back. An inch is all I want and if you can't get it, I don't care. You threw Sam and Dean at a wall, you're already cool to me."

This had caused Jack to smile and his once tense shoulders had slumped in response. Today was going to be a long and tiresome day, but he was prepared to take it on now. He had flashed a smile to Rose's back as she had left, knowing she couldn't see it, but he truly enjoyed having her be there to help him.

❂

SAM HAD CHECKED ON THE SECURITY CAMERA IN CASE JACK HAD LEFT THEM. As usual, he had been sitting at the table stuck staring at the pencil. Letting out a heavy breath of air, Sam had felt awful that Jack felt he had something he needed to prove.

Coming in, Rose had brought her own book to spend some quiet time with Sam but he had wanted anything but that. Slamming his book shut, he leaned forward in his seat. "Have you talked to him about all this?"

Humming lightly, Rose had been more focused on the words on her page than the words he spoke. Noticing this, Sam reached over and closed her book on her fingers. "I think you should tell him about when you... you know."

"When I was what? A demon?" Shaking her head, she opened her book once again only for him to shut it on her once more.

"I think it could help him. He won't feel so alone in all this if you talked to him about it. Maybe you two could really connect if you told him about Crowley."

"Because he was evil?" Rose questioned.

Instantly, Sam had felt embarrassed that he had offended her. "I know Crowley wasn't like Lucifer. He was... good. I'm just trying to think of ways to help and Jack seems to like you the most. All jokes aside."

Slowly opening her book back up, Rose had debated Sam's suggestion. It was most likely a great way to connect to Jack and show she had felt how he does now. But talking about her past was something she had despised doing.

With a heavy sigh, Rose shut her book and looked back to Sam in slight frustration. "You really think it'd help?"

"I think so."

Exhaling sharply, she gave in and nodded her head. "Alright, fine. But I don't want you there or listening at the door like a creep, okay?"

Knowing it would please her, he immediately agreed to her plans. There were parts of his past that he hated discussing which only allowed him to understand her. The past had been difficult but it was something that they couldn't escape.

"He's just been sitting there," Sam sighed as he turned his tablet over to her. Taking it from his hands, Rose looked it over in confusion. "He's not there." Flipping it around, she showed Sam the live footage of the empty library. Stunned to have missed it, he jumped from his seat without saying a word to Rose. Startled by his sudden movement, Rose scrambled from her chair to take off after him.

Rushing into the room, Sam had seemed more on edge than Rose that Jack had disappeared. After a quick glance of the room, he had spotted in the corner, just out of sight of the cameras view had sat Jack. He had looked like a mixture of frustrated and exhausted.

Jack held the pencil up as he stated at the two with a grimace. "I moved it."

"Okay, I know this isn't exactly fun but..."

Sam's words were cut off as Jack got to his feet. "No, this is the opposite of fun."

"Why is this so hard? I've seen you throw people across the room. I've been thrown across the room by you. I've seen you open a gate to Hell. And now nothing? It doesn't make any sense," Sam said. All day he couldn't help but wonder why Jack had been having such difficulties when he had seen amazing things. Before he had thought Jack could've snapped his fingers and make the world disappear but now he wasn't sure if Jack could use his powers.

"Just go, please." Jack gestured towards the exit. "This all makes sense if I'm evil. Dean sees it. That's why he said he'd kill me."

"He what?" Sam asked in surprise. Turning over to Rose, he looked to her as if to ask if she had known. Seeing the frown that had sat on her lips, he turned to Jack for more answers.

"And maybe he should," Jack mumbled. "Mom said that I could be good, that I had the choice to be good, that it was up to me. But she's dead because of me. I've only been on Earth for a few days and I've already done bad things and no matter how hard I try, I can't do the one good, stupid thing you want me to do. So I must be evil. Like Lucifer."

Rose spoke up quietly, "That's not true, Jack. You've only been on earth a few days but you already proved you're better than him. Everyone does bad things, it's what you do afterwards is what changes things." Rose had fought herself from looking to Sam. She knew he was there and wasn't going to leave with Jack stuck in a slump, but she knew she had to say something. "You're scared to use your powers. I get it. I used to tell myself I wasn't bad because of who I was and having powers felt like a burden. And Sam's trying here. He tried with me. When Dean comes around, he'll try too because they care the most. You're not a burden and you're not evil."

"Why are you two being so nice to me?" Jack asked, taking a seat back down at the table. His mother had told him that people in this world may not take lightly to him because of his father, but he had so much more to show. When meeting the Winchesters, he was afraid he'd have to prove himself consistently for them to understand his intentions.

"Because we know what it feels like, to feel like you don't belong. To feel like there's this darkness inside of you, to be scared of who you are, what you can do. Dean, Cas— my family— helped us through that. So now we want to help you because you're not evil, Jack," Sam said with a proud smile. With a quick glance to Rose, he laid a hand on her shoulder, giving a light squeeze. He had wanted to let her know that even today, he was still and always will be proud of her too.

Now Jack had felt that comfort she had felt. If had not been for Sam and Rose, he was sure he wouldn't hate himself for what he couldn't control. But it wasn't just Kelly Kline that believed in him. He was starting to become part of the family and that meant something much more to him than being Lucifer's son.