𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐲

"THOMMY!" FINN SHOUTED, as he and Mary entered the Shelby home.

Her dress—wet from perspiration—clung to her skin with sweat, as she tried to calm her racing heart and slow her quickening breathes. "We're sorry we're late."

"We looked everywhere. All the way up to Hay Mills. So, nothing." Fright consumed every cell in Mary's body, swelling them with terror. With every second she practically felt the rise of her blood pressure, but she knew that this was the least of her worries.

It was silent for a moment, before Tommy spoke while keeping eye contact with Polly. "Put four cans of petrol in the boot of my car and bring it around. And put cigarettes and a lamp in the box."

"And fetch Michael. I need him."

Both Finn and Mary nodded before making their way out of the room. Walking a short distance Mary stopped, before turning and leaning her back against the wall.

Pure terror surged through her veins, icy daggers straight to the heart. The fear she’d felt during the evening she was shot, was nothing compared to how she felt now. When it's Finns life on the line. Charlie's life. Now it felt like she was being held underwater, gasping for air but not being able to do a damn thing about it.

"Finn, wait!"

Finn, noticing her sudden lack of movement beside him, he turned to see her resting against the wall.

Mary kept silent for a long time, listening to the echoing of the clock. The patter of the rain on the window. Her heart thumping in her chest. She and Finn were having a silent conversation as they stared into each others eyes.

Her voice wavered, exhilarated from the tension between them. There was an endearing nervousness in it that was easy for Finn to decipher.

As they stood, there was a moment between action and consequence, eternal and fleeting. It's when whatever you did has occurred but the reaction is yet to come. The seed of embarrassment gets wedged inside you ready to blossom red upon your cheeks.

Finn gazed at her and really looked at her. Her willowy frame. Her lack of makeup. Her slightly crooked nose. But in her, he saw beauty. Her eyes were a rich brown that stole your breath while looking through your soul. Her hair was like an obsidian waterfall that tumbled down her back in thick locks. Her hands that were strong yet at the same time gentle. And her lips…how he wanted to kiss those lips.

But he didn't. He couldn't.

Paralyzed in fear, the scent of perturbation invaded the room. Mary's terrorized feet refused to move and all her hands agreed to do was cover her frightened face.

"Just..." She began, struggling to find words, "Just don't get yourself killed."

Delicately grabbing her wrists, and then her hands that covered her face he spoke, "I won't, alright? Just go home, and make sure your not anywhere near this."

Not knowing, that's what fear truly is. When you don’t know the outcome of something and your afraid it won’t be anything good.

Fear is not knowing the end. Fear is when you're worrying. Usually, when you worry about someone else’s fate.

And Mary... Mary was worried for the fate of all the Shelby brothers.
...

"Before I begin, I want to let you know I made a mistake."

Thomas spoke, a disheveled mess as he stood from behind his desk, "I made a mistake and I want to apologise to all of you. Arthur, you warned me against getting involved in Russian business. And you were right."

"I doubted your wife. And for that I am sorry." He apologised, his voice hoarse from his cries the previous day.

"Linda, I have added three thousand here, in hope that you will forgive me."

Marys eyes followed Linda as she raised from her seat and walked to the front of Thomas's desk. "Apology accepted."

"Esme I doubted you as well."

"Now John's got innocent lives on his conscience. Ordinary working men-"

"Yeah, all right, Eseme. Got it." John interrupted.

"No, shes right. And you and Arthur are going to have to share that burden."

Throwing the money they were to recieve on the table, he continued. "But I hope the house you can buy with this can become a place of conplatation. Perhaps redemption." 

"Michael. For the killings. Five for cutting and five for the shooting."

"No, Tommy, no..." Polly tried to object.

"What? Tell me, eh!" Mary jumped as he began to yell. "This is who I am! And this is all I can give you for what you give me."

"Yesterday, I nearly lost my son. You should fucking understand that. For what? For this?" Tommy laughed, as he gestured to the ceiling and the walls. Mary could have sworn she had never seen such conflict a person had deep with themselves.

"And I know you all want me to say i'll change, that this fucking business will change. But I've learnt something in the last few days."

"Those bastards. Those bastards... Are worse than us. Politicians, fucking judges, Lords and ladies they're worse than us."

"And they will never admit us to their palaces,no matter how legitimate we become because of who we are. Who we fucking are, because of where we're fucking from."

"Finn? I don't think I should be here." Mary whispered, her voice could barely be heard due to the tension in the room.

Grabbing her hand he smiled understandingly. Much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it.

"Of course you should. Your apart of this family as much as me now, Mary."

Her attention was drawn back into the conversation as Thomas spoke. "When you take the Kings shilling, the King expects you to kill. Right, Arthur? That's how it works, right John?"

Michael stood from his chair slowly, grabbing the bundle of cash before taking his seat again.

"That's right, Pol. That's fucking right." Tommy carried on, still remaining emotionless.

In the grip of silent panic Mary turned to Finn. "Are we all going to get into trouble now Finn?"

"No Mary, we'll be fine." He whispered back to her, gripping her hand for extra reassurance.

"I think we're to young to go to prison, I thought maybe you would last a little longer before going in, if I'm being honest." She lightly smiled. And in that moment Finn gave her a smile that just seemed so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness, that unexpected warmth rushed through her.

However, Marys attention was brought back to the topic at hand as Linda stood.

"Come on, Arthur." She spoke gaining the attention of everyone in the room. "The train for the Dock leave in one hour... Then we'll get the boat to New York and it'll all be in the past."

All Mary could do was shake her head in disbelief as Arthur, John and Finn all relied on their hidden emotions to get them through this farewell. Nudging Finn closer to his older brother, she spoke. "Give him a bloody hug."

After their shared hug Arthur turned to Thomas and stumbled for words silently, trying to gain any kind of reaction from his younger brother. "I'll be off, then, Tom."

"You can go, but you won't get far, Arthur."

Paralyzed in fear, the scent of perturbation invaded the room as Mary could hear the thumping of her heart as it got quicker and quicker. Increasing speed at every passing second.

"All right, Tom."

"I spoke to Moss last night. He told me that the chief constable of Birmingham has issued a war rent for your arrest. Murder, sedition, conspiracy to cause explosion."

Fear curled up inside her and clung to her ribs as Thomas spoke those words, settling uncomfortably in her chest. She didn’t doubt the feeling was there to stay, reminding her of its existence every time she opened her mouth to breathe.

"John, they're coming for you, as well. Murder. Conspiracy to cause explosion. Michael... The murder of Hughes. Polly... The murder of Chief expector Chester Campbell."

"Mary. I'm sorry, your being pulled in for questioning. Someone who's close to the family, so I need you to pull yourself together."

Once again fear found her. It spoke to her in its cackling voice. It told her legs to go weak, her stomach to lurch and her heart to ache.

"The people we betrayed last night want to bring us down. They control the police, they control the judges, they control the juries, they control the jails."

"But they do not control the elected government." He continued, however there was too much commotion in the room for people to pay him any mind. Too busy screaming and shouting at one another to even consider what words were spilling from his mouth.

"So, I've made a deal in return for giving evidence against them. When the police get in do not resist."

Everything seemed so ridiculously hectic. The sounds in her ears were so deafening and thumping that she couldn't collect her jumbled thoughts.

Police were already in the foyer of the house. Whistles blowing and shouting. Mary was quickly pinned against the wall, face first with her hands behind her back.

All she could do was look down at her feet, dwelling, trying not to swallow the lump in the back of her throat.

Slowly she tried to move but quickly realized how futile it was when she had to bite her lip to keep herself from wincing.

"Finn! Finn stop it!" She screamed over the roars of the Shelbys, as she spied Finn fighting against the coppers as they dragged her away.

Thrashing against the officers hold, she escaped the clutches of the man and ran to Finn. Even if it was for a moment and only a moment, she needed to reassure him.

Despite the heaviness in her stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of her body pressed against his as they embraced. She sunk into the warmth of his body, for the short moment, appreciative of the simple gesture. "I'll be alright, okay? I'll be alright."

Her legs started trembling, her hands weakening until she couldn't cling onto Finn any longer and she was dragged away from him. Her chest was heaving with massive breathes she could obtain from the breeze in the hallway, eyes watering from trepidation.

There was another minute of quietude as she stared at Finn and only Finn. Her stomach started crumbling inside, whilst the panic inflicted in her abdomen. After several attempts of brushing off the nausea, her eyes tightened into a straight line of dispear.

Finn hoped they wouldn't hurt her. However, it was how she felt he was most worried about. She was scared, and he felt a girl who had a soul as beautiful as Mary's didn't deserve to feel like that. She never would.

"I love you!" He spoke, the words spilling from his lips along with large, heaving breathes.

The words were just a white noise in her ears. Her heart was both racing and slowing down, and she didn't know what to do other than to allow the coppers to drag her away.

Her head was thumping in rhythm with her sharp breathes. She wanted to speak, but as hard as she tried, it was impossible to get a word out between her sharp and rapid exhalation. It was as if every time she breathed, the air was cut leaving her with nothing but dry air. Raspy nonsense left her lips, and she could feel her head whirling like a roller-coaster.

But as the police dragged her, the Shelby brothers and Polly away from Finn and the other women she didn't say it back.

How she wished she had of sayed it back.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 !
Quite a long Chapter
to celebrate the end
of season 3 !