GOTTA LEAVE BEFORE YOU GET LEFT.

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DEAD BOY (book one).
°•        CHAPTER NINETEEN        •°

"        WE DON'T OWE SHIT TO DERRY.       "

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IT DOESN'T TAKE MUCH FOR DAXTON TO GET FULL AND LEAN BACK WITH OCCASIONAL SIPS OF HIS COLD WATER. He can't believe he's never had friends like this in his adulthood, ones who understood him, joked like this, wanted him around. They were what made up most of the childhood he couldn't remember. Daxton feels as if nothing has changed despite the time that has passed, not even what he felt for them. There was just so much of it, and it's crazy. He barely remembered the memories they've shared together after twenty-seven years, and yet, he still was able to hold so much love for the seven of them excluding his brother.

"I got to say, I'm curious, though," Mike announces his thoughts with his eyes locked on the brothers. Daxton scans his gaze over to him. "You two were the last to leave before me - what were you up to all these years?" His dark eyes light up with curiosity that drags the brothers in when it's shone towards them. "I know you talked about going to Bootcamp for recruit training, but - "

"We did, eventually. They taught us war faces, then off we went." There's a faraway look in Charlie's expression after his words as he clasps his hands over his glass, and Daxton understands it.

You don't just forget what they taught you in the military.

"Wait, you were in the military?" Beverly cuts in with her eyebrows drawn together.

It's crazy how a single word can still bring a chill to Daxton's spine, but he's learned how to cover a shudder before anyone could notice. He lets out a dry chuckle and avoids Mike's empathetic gaze before answering, "Why the fuck do you think I took up drinking?"

"You both came home, even after everything. That takes a lot of strength," Mike says gently.

That's because you guys have always been my home, Daxton thinks. He didn't need strength or bravery to bring him back to Derry. He just needed the Losers.

"Oh, shit, speaking of home - what about the others?" Richie questioned. Daxton doesn't know what he means until, "Like - uh, shit - Lia? Harley?"

"Haley," Charlie corrects with a fond smile. It's the first time Daxton saw him actually smile at Richie. It's probably due to the talk of their other siblings, whom they were still in touch with almost every day. "They're doing great. Lia has some kids of her own and teaches at a university. Haley's a musician."

A bright look washes over Richie's face and he snaps his fingers as he remembers. "Right, Haley! I've seen her a few times in open shows in LA and New York! She's talented." Daxton smiles. He's always known Haley was talented since she demonstrated herself to be skilled with a piano, and she had an amazing voice to match.

"Oh, what about the small one - Lucas, yeah?" Bill wonders.

A sudden pang of grief hits Daxton's heart at the same time he sees Lucas's freckled smile on his chubby cheeks from twenty-seven years ago. Charlie takes the ropes after dragging a napkin down his chin to clear his face. "We actually lost him in '07. Car accident," he says solemnly.

The brothers feel the Loser's grief all at once. Everyone there loved Lucas, even if they only remembered him as the sweet little kid that tried to follow them around. His death was nine years ago and it still hurt like hell. It was some stupid accident. The other driver was beyond drunk that Daxton swore he could still smell the liquor during his baby brother's funeral, even though he attended stone-cold sober. It's in fact one of the reasons he hasn't drunk for ten years.

But Daxton's had enough talking about his experiences, and he knows Charlie has too by the way he shifts in his royal red seat. Ben is still the sweetest member that sits there as he notices their discomfort immediately. They're grateful he changes the subject. "It's weird that we all remember everything now that we're all back together, in Derry."

"You know, when Mike called me, I threw up and shit. Isn't that weird?" Richie pitched in. A few gazes nervously crossed to him. He gives them a laugh. "I got nervous, sick, then vomited. But I'm fine now that I'm here with you guys, better than ever."

"When Mike called me, I crashed my car," Eddie admits with a quiet huff.

Daxton is suddenly interested as his once foggy mind clears. "Seriously?" Eddie gives a sheepish shrug and nods.

"I hear you," Ben agrees. "My heart was pounding in my chest."

"The memories came, too," Daxton adds. His mind tries to grasp at them again, but it aches with every attempt. Nothing seems to work no matter how desperately he wants to know more, but at least in Derry, the blur stains are becoming clear.

"Yeah," Beverly suddenly exhales anxiously. "Those... It felt like..."

"It felt like pure... F-F-F-F..." Bill struggles to stammer to them. He looks confused, and Daxton has a hunch he understands why. Bill hadn't struggled once tonight - not until they were being blanketed in the very same feeling of terror.

He's unable to finish so in his frustration, Mike seriously closed his word for him. "Fear." Something else took over his face, something more grave. Daxton couldn't see a hint of any amusement from earlier.

Everything had changed in a matter of seconds. Daxton doesn't feel the joy anymore either. He notices his right hand violently trembling over the table and drags it under the cloth in hopes no one saw. He can only remember one other time he was this scared, and even that was a stretch because it was a long lost memory. Daxton's stationed time didn't even compare to this because he can remember so much red from his childhood, so much more than what he saw on the battlefield and that alone made it just as horrifying. It all had something to do with this It creature.

The last time Daxton was afraid like this, he felt the warm presence of someone else comforting him. He feels it again when Charlie stretches his arm to grab his hand. He lets out a shaky breath and squeezes his brother's hand, wondering which one of them needed the touch of relief from one another more.

"Why did we all f-f-feel like that? You rem-rem-remember something we don't, Mike?" Bill prompts their friend quietly.

"Something happens when you leave this town. The farther away, the hazier it all gets. But me? I never left," Mike reminds them. "So, yeah... Yeah, I remember all of it."

Beverly's voice shakes in horror as she whispers, "Pennywise."

A thick lump is almost lodged in Daxton's throat that he attempts to swallow down. Everything comes crashing all at once because all the red suddenly makes sense. Daxton used to love the color as a teenager. Now he can't stand it.

"You boys like games, huh? Do you like to play... Tag?"

An animal the size of a bear that chases them in a cruel game until they're in tears and gasping for air. But that's just the first memory. It grows from there. Daxton's head tilts as the rest of the memories flood through him, and it's what causes the strikes of horror when he remembers what that horrible clown looked like. The awful yellow eyes that shone with hunger, It's red lips curled into a sinister grin, It's razor-sharp teeth that wanted to sink into the flesh of children because of the taste of their fear -

Daxton forgets for a moment that he's there, in Derry, until Charlie delivers another squeeze to his hand. It doesn't bring him relief, but it draws him back to planet Earth. He pulls away like it's an instinct to protect himself and pretends he knows his brother isn't hurt by that. They've stuck together all these years. Nothing should have changed, but to Daxton, everything had in seconds.

A few gasps come from the other end of the table. Eddie is hyperventilating and seems like he'll bend over and vomit at any second. "That fucking clown," he mutters.

The others cursed under their breaths as they slowly start to remember too. Other than Bill, who appeared anxious as he questions, "Mike, you said you wanted our help with something. What was that?"

It takes a few seconds for Mike to respond, and in that time Daxton goes through hell. The party the Losers had earlier was long gone. Everyone only stares at their plates nervously as they process what exactly Mike had dragged them back to Derry for, and it wasn't just a friendly reunion with childhood friends.

"There's an echo that bounces back in Derry every twenty-seven years - "

"What are you talking about?" Eddie cut him off in a panic.

"Hold on, listen," Mike pleaded with them despite the other mumbles of his name. "We thought we stopped It, but we didn't." The journal he had seen so protective of is thrown on the table so he can flip through the dusty pages. "A week ago, a man named Adrian Mellon was slaughtered - "

Daxton doesn't know what causes the feeling in his gut by Adrian's name, but he comments, "Mike, we don't want to hear this shit."

He reaches to snap the book shut, but Mike slid it out of his reach in an act of desperation. " - A girl, Lisa Aubrich, the other night went missing!"

"Mike," Charlie says slowly as he tries to ease his friend who's distress to make them understand rises. "You're fucking scaring us. Stop."

"Listen to me, please!" Mike begs his long-time friend, one of the two brothers he couldn't ever stop thinking about. Charlie's stare darkens into a hard glare, but he doesn't say much else. "There have already been others, and there will be more!"

Everyone's voices rise and mix together as they all try to stop Mike at once. Daxton longs to clasp his hands over his ears, to let his fingers rip at his hair and scratch their way to his brain so this shit stops. He can feel burning tears spring in his eyes and Daxton Shields suddenly wants to be where he called home, he wants to be somewhere safer, anywhere else on this planet.

Bill suggests Mike have another drink, but Ben defends him, "Let him explain! Just let him explain."

"The echo, we might have changed it just like it changed us. But we didn't stop It. We didn't stop It because It just bounced back," Mike explains in a rush. His voice drops lower. "We made an oath. That's why I brought you here, to finish it... For good."

"Well, that shit got dark fast," Richie mumbles. "Thanks, Mike."

Charlie snaps his head towards him. "Richie, for once in your life, shut the fuck up and take something seriously," he spits coldly. Richie's lips pressed together in surprise as he's taken off guard by the harsh remark. Daxton doesn't look at either of them, but he can almost feel the tension radiating off of the scowl his brother throws Richie's way.

It's still there as Eddie tries to ease it by reaching into the bowl set in the middle of the table, full of fortune cookies. He cracks one open with a crunch and brushes the crumbs aside to smooth the small slip of paper. "My fortune cookie just says could."

The rest of them are cracking open their own. Daxton is uninterested in eating one, but Charlie heaves a sigh and grabs one. He leans over his shoulder as Bill proposes, "They probably don't know how to do fortune cookies here."

"Mine is just a plain I," Richie announces in confusion. He lifts it so they can read it. "What the fuck?"

Mike's two fingers start to tremble as he holds his. "What is it?" Bill asks him before plucking it from him so they could all see. Daxton catches the word It as Bill starts organizing the messages handed to him.

"Bill... Mine's, it's Guess," Charlie says. His words are wobbling now, a complete change from earlier. He hands it to their leader who shuffles it into the line.

Everyone practically jumps out of their chairs so they can catch a glimpse for themselves. Daxton is pressed to his brother's side as Bill fumbles with the eight pieces of paper, the others being Could, Not, Cut. Their words of fear become a blur together as everyone tries to put the puzzle pieces together of what this meant. They only knew one thing for sure, that it wasn't some fucking factory mixup. It has already started Its mind games, but this one hadn't made any sense yet.

"Did you fuck with the fortune cookies, Mike?" Richie accused.

No one knows if he's joking or not, but Charlie takes it personally in defense of his friend. "Yeah, he called the shop before we came here to fucking torture us with fortune cookies," he said sarcastically. "How fucking dense are you?"

"Let them - okay, let's just calm down," Ben, the mediator, pleads with them.

"This wasn't me," Mike insisted. "This is what It does!"

Eddie whipped away from them and exclaimed, "I need my fucking inhaler!"

The boys are too busy arguing and screaming at one another to notice Beverly, who had been silent the entire time, blue eyes locked on her fortune. Other than Daxton, who was desperately searching for a distraction from this. He sees the look of pure horror on her face that brings tears and urges her quietly, "Bev?"

She doesn't answer, not with words, but at least the others shut up and fall into silence. Beverly slowly lowers her paper on the board for them all to see.

Stanley.

Bill shook his head in silent dismay and completes the final puzzle.

I Guess Stanley Could Not Cut It

"Why does it say Stanley?" Eddie whispers before his voice rises into a shrill, "Will somebody else fucking answer me?!"

The back of Daxton's wrist is pressed to his mouth and he bites at the skin until his teeth almost pierce it. His mind is so clouded with terror that it refuses to let him make sense of this. It only causes his eyes to grow wet. No, Daxton's thoughts sob in horror, but he can't force the words out, the only noise ringing in his head the awful denial of a begging mantra of no, no, no -

All of a sudden, the table rumbles. The motion causes the Losers to jump, their gazes landing together on the bowl of cookies planted in the middle. They're rustling like something was alive inside. The first one that pops out is what makes them back away, staggering over their feet.

Daxton can't tell what the fuck that thing is, but he sees the smallest baby head twist its way out of the cookie, like it was being hatched from an egg. It lets out awful, morphed cries, wings starting to flap as it scampers across the table.

"Squash that fucking thing!" Daxton shouts as Mike leaps out of its way.

It wouldn't matter if they did, anyway, as dozens of more began to pop out of the bowl. A horrifying eye with tentacles attached slithers closer to Richie who screams, "Hey, that fortune cookie is looking at me!"

Beverly lets out a terrified cry the same time Eddie does, a chorus of, "I don't want to be here! I want to go home!" When a few more little monsters break through or crowd the table. A black goo that seemed to act as lava pours over their glasses and envelops the slips of papers with a quiet sizzle.

The trio of Daxton, Charlie, and Mike have pressed themselves the fish tank as their space becomes limited of options to run. Charlie lets out a startled shriek as the mutilated babies fly to them, taunting the pair as they flutter around the crowns of their heads, and Daxton throws his arm across him. He isn't mildly surprised when Charlie does the same when he feels his arm hit his chest as well. Brothers protected one another, but here they were, stuck between bloody heads bobbing in water and monsters hatching from their food.

"It's not real!" Mike suddenly cries out. In a rage, he lifts a green chair over his head and brings it down, finally squashing one of the ugly fuckers. It smears across the table as Mike hits the top again, again, and again, screaming, "It's not real! It's not real!"

The chaos comes to a slow stop when the noise draws in the waitress who stands in the doorway, eyes wide. "Is everything alright?" She questions in surprise. She can't see what they do - Daxton feels as if they were still the nine kids being terrorized by a child-eating clown.

Mike freezes in place with the chair above his head. No one moves at first. Daxton's chest deflates as he gasps out a breath. He blinks, and everything was gone. The mangled creatures, the shadow goo, the fucked cookies. It was like nothing was out of place, other than the leftovers on their plates that had been scattered from Mike's assault.

They're sure they'll be kicked out, so Richie flashes the poor, shocked girl a nervous smile and requests, "Yeah, could we uh - get the check?"

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How did everything become a mess in such a short amount of time?

Daxton drags his hands down his face as they start to leave as a huddled group. Fucking Derry, he blames in thought. He searches for the presence of his brother to see Charlie isn't even a step behind him. He never thought a phone call and a plane trip would lead to this. Daxton just knows he needs Charlie Quint there. He'd fall apart completely into nothing if he wasn't. But for now, they needed to get the fuck out of dodge.

"That's what Pennywise does, right? He fucks with us?" Eddie pressured in a ramble. "Stanley's probably fine."

Beverly searches the pockets of her jacket for her phone. "Mike, do you have Stan's number?" Mike nods and opens his mouth to give her the numbers, but a voice coming from behind them causes the Losers to stop in their path.

"Richie!"

The taller man is the last to pause. His eyebrows raised in confusion as he slowly turned, revealing a small, young boy with curly hair and a wide smiling glancing back. "Uh - how'd you, how'd you know my name?" He asks.

"The fun's just beginning, right?" The kid responds.

It immediately causes Daxton's jaw to drop. Did Pennywise have the balls here of all places to torment them?

"You must think this is funny? You must think this is some sort of game?" Richie's voice rises as he crouches to be at the kid's level, seizing him by the shoulder to deliver a few rough shakes that cause his small body to rock. "Well, fuck you! Alright?! Fuck you! I'm not afraid of you!"

The kid looks both scared out of his mind and shocked. "Dude," he says slowly. "The fun's just beginning? It's a line from your act. I'm a fan."

"Are those your parents?"

"Yeah."

Richie dropped his hand and attempts to give the poor kid he probably traumatized for life a smile. "Do you want a picture?" He offered.

The kid's parents wave their son to them and away from the crazy middle-aged comedian. "I think I'm good," he declined and left with his family.

"Jesus, Richie. I know who's not babysitting my kids," Charlie states with a roll of his eyes.

"Excuse the fuck out of me. I don't write my own material," Richie mutters back.

Eddie's brown eyes widen. He waves his finger in the air as they continue their way to the door again, shouting in confidence, "I knew it! I fucking knew it!"

Despite all the events that took place, Daxton can't help but be caught by surprise by that. Richie didn't write his own material? He could faintly recall the words of thirteen year old Richie that wanted nothing more than to be a comedian. He'd never tell Richie this, but his humor was something special. He was funny. Daxton wondered what made him think he wasn't.

Beverly's phone is already in her hand as she fumbles to press the numbers on the screen that Mike directed her to. Daxton shoves his hands in his pockets when he feels the familiar tremble at the sound of ringing from the speaker. They want, anticipated, for a voice on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mrs. Uris," Beverly greets. She's trying to hide her nervous feelings behind her words. "My name is Beverly Marsh. I apologize for calling, but I'm an old friend of your husband."

Meanwhile, Eddie is pestering Mike with Richie. "You lied to us, man. That's not okay," he accused. Daxton tiredly rubs his eyes and tries to block them out. Mike didn't lie to them - he told them It was back, and it was time to return to Derry. They were just afraid, especially Eddie, and it was easier to blame one of the causes of it.

"Yeah, the first words out of your mouth should have been like; "Hey, do you wanna come to Derry and get murdered?" 'Cause then I would have said no," Richie said angrily.

Daxton looks over again when he feels Charlie step towards him to say something. His mouth opens in hopes to defend Mike, but snaps close when there's a soft cry from the speaker of Beverly's phone. It was one of sorrow... One of a grieving wife.

"Oh... He passed..."

It suddenly felt like more pieces of what made Daxton's home had faded away. Stanley Uris was one of those nine bricks that held the Losers Club together. The flood of tears could now make the bricks tremble as Daxton felt them burn his eyes. He couldn't hold them back. The pain of losing a best friend, one that he would never be able to say good-bye to, one that he had lost after twenty-seven years, was unbearable. The others barely held it together as it was, but when they see the teas slowly slip from Daxton's eyes, there's no holding themselves back from crying either.

Beverly places her hand over her gaping mouth. She shuts her eyes, a few tears fall, and she drops her hand again to gasp, "When did it happen?"

"Yesterday." Mrs. Uris is sobbing, crying out as she vented, "It was horrible, the way he died. He cut his wrists in the bathtub - "

"... The bathtub," Beverly whispers too. It goes unnoticed by the others.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," Mrs. Uris cries one last time. Beverly apologizes for her loss on behalf of the Losers before they hang up.

They stand there, unmoving, in a beat of silence. No one knows what to do or say. Charlie finally decides to leave Richie alone when he realizes the stability the brothers both needed. He rests his head on Daxton's shoulder. He almost cries out at the touch but bites his lower lip before he can let it out. "It's okay," he whispers after a moment with a hoarse voice. Charlie looks surprised he said something at all, but Daxton shakes his head and pressed a hand to his back.

"Stanley. Pennywise - It knew before we did," Eddie stated. His grief sounded much more like anger. But Beverly ignores him in favor of sliding her phone in her pocket so she has a free hand to light a cigarette.

"We have to stop it!" Mike exclaimed. He claps his hand over his hardcover book. "I have a plan - "

"I have a plan! Let's get the fuck out of dodge before this ends worse than one of Bill's books," Richie declared. "Who's with me?" His hand shoots in the air, Eddie's following.

Charlie shuts his eyes so he can breathe for a minute. Daxton notices the look on his face - the one so full of sorrow that it aches, that he can't handle any other background noise, so he tries to cancel it out. "I never thought I'd agree with Richie, but maybe he's right, Mike."

He sounds scared, too. That somehow made Daxton even more terrified. Because if his brother, who would run head first into danger if it meant covering another, was scared of doing it again, then what were they still doing here? Richie was right. They needed to get the fuck out of this place.

"We made a promise to each other!" Mike argued with them.

"Well, then let's - let's unmake the promise!" Richie protests. "Even Charlie gets me!"

It's a little surprising that Ben sides with Mike, reminding them, "Guys, more people will die." But Daxton had a hunch it had to do with Stan.

"People die every day! Come on - we've seen that so many fucking times!" Daxton finally shouts out. He doesn't care who in the parking lot hears. "And here?" He scoffs and shakes his head, blinking his wet eyes. "We don't owe shit to Derry. Fuck this place."

Mike looks taken off guard by Daxton's words. He's still frantic, desperate for someone other than Ben to side with him, but what he says next is stable. "Dax... You wouldn't have said that twenty-seven years ago."

"Grow up, Mike," Daxton spat in his direction because it was his fear and grief that sounded like rage, too. "I'm not the same annoying thirteen year old kid I was. Things have changed."

"Yeah! Plus I just remembered I grew up here, like, two hours ago!" Richie yells. "So, fuck this!"

That's it, and Richie storms away. Daxton's eyes follow him before he surrenders and shakes his head. He can't be here another minute longer. Bad things were going to happen. They both knew it, ever since they answered the phone call. Memories weren't even the worst of it. "I'm sorry, Mike," Daxton apologizes quietly once he catches sight of his gaze.

Then he shares a knowing look with his brother before they take off together towards the car they drove to the town of Derry in, Mike's pleading ringing behind them until it fades to nothing. A dark feeling only hits Daxton when he slams the car door shut, an emotion of shame and guilt that tells him this wasn't the first time he's abandoned a friend in a town he hated.

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author's note:

charlie, my love, you seem a bit hostile towards richie.. hm. wonder why.

but, like, daxton and charlie being military bros has been on my list to write since i published chapter two, i'm pretty sure. hopefully now earlier little notes make more sense.

plus, i've said it once and i'll say it again - mike hanlon is literally my favorite character and you'll see the ultimate brotp of him with the brothers again. they don't harbor any bad feelings for him, they're just scared of pennywise and losing stan (who also deserved sm better. and lucas - rip 🥺.)

but, yeah. sorry for the longish hiatus i took from my books, it's literally taken me so god damn long to write this chapter, and then i had hit ✨rock bottom✨. i'm doing better now, so i was able to find time to post. thank u guys for being the best 💕

- koda

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